25. Janie
Chapter 25
Janie
“ H ow are we gonna find her?” I asked as we drove to my apartment.
Meical shifted his body in the seat. “I’m not entirely sure.”
“I have an idea,” I murmured as I parked. I jumped out of the car, and hurried to the door. As I nervously shoved my key inside the lock of my apartment door, I murmured under my breath. Suddenly, a chilling shadow tightly gripped my wrist as I turned the knob. I tried to ignore the feelings—desire—that coursed through me when they touched me. Did I really enjoy this or had I been conditioned to enjoy this over the last few weeks of him slipping into my dreams?
Meical stepped closer to my body. His hot breath traced the sides of my neck. “I can feel your need.”
“I want to see my plan first.” That’s probably not what I should have said, but I wouldn’t dwell on saying the wrong words right now.
I pushed the door open and hung my key on the ring. He stepped into the room, and his body shifted into his shadow form. Was he a demon? Or was he an entirely different humanoid paranormal creature? He never named his kind, but he never said demon. That was a thought for another day. This was the time to worry about my coworker. Probably the only other person I considered a friend other than Urien? He sat on the couch, while a shadow wrapped itself around me. Wrapping around my body, it pulled me into his lap. My eyes widened in shock as I looked at him.
“Meical, you can’t do this. Consent? I thought we were working on consent,” I whispered. His shadow pushed me off of his lap and I was sitting beside him now.
“You got the name of the app she was using, right?”
“It wasn’t just one app, it was a couple of apps,” he replied. “There were more when you went to her bedroom. Did you see anything?”
I pursed my lips and looked at him pointedly. “You know I didn’t. I have an idea. What if I pretend to be looking for somebody on those apps?” A tentacle wrapped around my thighs and squeezed and a swirl of desire shot up my stomach. Was this a threat?
“I don’t like it,” he muttered.
I placed a hand on my hip and cocked it. I smirked. “I thought you could see through the shadows? You could protect me.”
“Yes, I can. How dare you doubt my abilities?” Another shadow squeezed my thigh and slithered further. Should I tell him to stop touching me? Or did I secretly like this? So many confusing feelings. I wasn’t normally this way.
“Just like earlier. Just like before. If I’m in a dangerous situation, you slip through the shadows and save me . . .”
He chuckled menacingly as he stepped closer to me. “Are you offering people for me to eat?” A tendril appeared near my shoulder and caressed my cheek. Did he think that the tendrils touching me were better than him touching me? I had no frame of reference for any of this, and I knew his base desires. I knew what he wanted from me. The things he did to me in my dreams flashed through my head again. I swallowed. I needed to focus. I shook my head and blew a breath out.
“Yes. I mean, hopefully none of them are bad. Not everyone’s bad.”
“You would be shocked.“ His demeanor changed, like he was thinking back to every evil person he had consumed in the past. What horrors had he seen?
“I saw the one app. If you tell me the rest, all of the apps she was using, I can make my own profiles there,” I said.
He sighed. “We’d have to make you seem like a different person.”
“You’re right. I’m not that sort of girl. And I’d need to be more like her.”
“All you have to do is dress up a little more and take a couple of new pictures to start.”
A mischievous look appeared on my face as I stepped closer to him. “Do you think I could fool them?”
“Urien could help. He’s a vampire. He must understand more things than me. I can help you a bit with what I saw when I went through the computer.”
“You really think Urien will come through with that sort of information?”
“He’s long-lived, just like me. But he didn’t fall in the darkness like me. He knows more about apps, technology, and the type of guy that might take a woman. Vampires . . . are the type of predators that could bend to that sort of thing.”
I frowned. “You’re acting like this will go wrong, terribly wrong. I just want to help my friend. No one else will.”
This time, he leaned forward. His claws scraped my cheek as he touched me. “I can only see the dark. You’re the light within my dark. You’re my hope. There’s only darkness when I see the world. Filth, depravity, evil. It keeps me satiated and full if I’m going to choose to be out in the open.”
“You say that like you haven’t said things that aren’t romantic and hopeful. Sometimes more than me.”
Regardless of the presence of shadows, the touch sent my heart racing with an unstoppable force. He had to feel the rising heat in my body. I wasn’t sure if I should be sad or frustrated. Or how any emotion of mine would be a secret from now on. I would always be exposed to him, and more than with anyone else. He said he could see me through the shadows. Even moments that were supposed to be by myself. Exposed. I knew things were going to be drastically different from now on. If he stayed around, could I ever trust him in my feelings for him? What he did was wrong, but I couldn’t stop my body from responding to his touch.
“I don’t think you can hide yourself from me as much as you want to,” Meical said.
I pursed my lips. “I realize that. Or, I’m still processing it.”
Another step closer. “You still haven’t told me to stop touching you, though.”
“If you knew I had a problem with it, why are you still touching me?”
He smirked. Another tendril erupted from a shadow and ghosted near me. Not touching, just hovering. “You could always just touch me? You act like it’ s difficult. I’ve spent my whole life waiting for you. It’s not as easy as you think it could be. The waiting.”
“But how can I trust you? I barely know you.”
“I guess that means I need to gain your trust? I thought it would improve once I could show you I could help you. So you’re not so stressed around this house. I can help pay the rent. What more can I do?” he asked. His voice ached with pain I didn’t expect to hear.
"I don't know," I said, my voice filled with uncertainty. My hair rustled as I shook my head. “I don’t even know if my feelings for you are true. I never thought that I could be attracted to somebody like . . . you.”
Or maybe . . . I was always waiting for a monster like him.
Meical nodded quickly like he had decided something. “I’ll help you. With whatever you want. Find your friend? I guess we can do this,” he said.
He sighed as he stood up. “You need to eat. I had to go get you and I couldn’t finish making dinner.”
“You made me dinner?”
He turned around before he walked into the kitchen. “Of course I did. I will always feed you. Forever and eternity.”
My heart burst with even more feelings— my own —as I followed him into the kitchen.