25. Taryn
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
TARYN
Ilooked at him in shock.
Lucas Rowen was complimenting me. The world really had ended.
“Don’t look so shocked.” He smirked. “I’ve never denied your beauty.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Compliments coming from you are suspicious as hell. Are you afraid we’re going to die tonight?”
No other explanation made sense. Maybe he was bitten and didn’t want to tell me. It would be just like him to turn into a rotter and chomp on my ass.
He rolled his eyes. “We’re not going to die tonight, Menace.”
I raised my eyebrows in question. “Menace?”
Lucas shrugged. “It fits you.”
He'd called me plenty of worse names over the years. I’d take it.
I studied his face. He was covered in cuts and bruises, and the rain had turned his dirty-blond hair black. He looked as tired as I felt.
Lucas had saved my life tonight, and I’d saved his…it was past time I made things right between us.
As I met his gorgeous blue eyes, a wave of regret washed over me concerning the accusations I’d made against him. My anger toward Ben had somehow gotten tangled up with my feelings for Lucas and Adrian.
Truth is, I was upset not just because they took off, but because I couldn't do the same.
Adrian lost his mother, and Lucas lost someone he loved like family, but afterward they both escaped to a life much better than the one I was living… at least in my eyes.
I had to stay.
At eight years old, I hadn’t understood grief, or that they were only fifteen themselves.
All I knew was that one day I had them, and then I didn’t.
After they disappeared, I was left with a man who had abandoned his role as a father and become a drill sergeant, intent on preparing me for every potential obstacle life might throw my way.
Apart from loneliness.
Years later, that hurt had hardened into something uglier.
Adrian was out of my reach, so I could only resent him from a distance, but Lucas had walked right back into my life. Close enough that I could punish him.
And I had.
While both probably deserved some of my anger, Lucas got the worst of it because he was the one I could reach. He’d become the face of everyone who had left me when I needed them.
That didn’t make what I’d done right.
Despite apologizing many times over the past few months, I couldn't honestly say any were genuine.
They had been words meant to end an argument.
This one wouldn’t be.
I reached to wipe the water from my face, only to find my sleeve slick with blood.
He took a red rag from his pocket and opened the door. The cool rain immediately dampening the fabric, then handed it to me. After I wiped my face, he dampened it again and then cleaned the blood off his.
“Thank you.”
I realized it was the right time to try apologizing again.
He deserved it, and I wasn't sure when I'd have another chance.
“Lucas?” I said hesitantly.
“Yes?” he was distracted, only half-listening as he attempted to clean the blood from his arms.
“I’m sorry.”
A quick glance upward shifted into an intense, concentrated stare when he caught sight of my expression. “That’s the look I’ve been waiting for.”
I tilted my head in question. “What look?”
“The look in your eyes that tells me you mean what you’re saying.” He threw the rag aside.
I bowed my head briefly to collect my thoughts.
Tilting my chin upwards with his finger, Lucas brought my eyes to his. “You've said sorry before, but I want to know the 'why' behind what you did.”
My gaze shifted as my thoughts floated back to memories with Ben. “I was angry. Mostly at Ben... Dad.” Lucas stayed silent, so I kept going. "And at Adrian... and you.”
His jaw clenched, and I rushed my words, hoping to outpace the storm brewing in his eyes. “When Adrian left after his mom died, I didn’t understand any of it. I was eight. One day he was there, and then he wasn’t.” I swallowed. “But you were different.”
Lucas's gaze remained fixed on mine, a subtle softening in his expression.
“You didn’t leave town.”
“No,” he whispered, seeming to know where this was going.
“You were still close.” My throat tightened. “You just stopped having anything to do with me.”
Something shifted in his face.
“At eight years old, I didn’t understand that you were grieving too. I didn’t understand that you were fifteen and probably had no idea what the hell to do with me.” I looked down at my hands. “I only knew that you used to be there, and then suddenly you weren’t.”
“Taryn—”
“No. Let me finish.” I begged with my eyes.
This was hard enough to do, so I wanted to get it out all at once.
With his gaze keenly fixed on my face, he gave a slow nod.
“Adrian disappearing hurt. But with you...” I shook my head. “You were right there in the same town, and somehow that made it worse. It felt like you had decided I wasn’t worth your time.”
Lucas’s jaw tightened.
“I know now that probably wasn’t what you were thinking. But that’s what I believed.”
The rain hammered against the truck’s roof.
“And then years later, you walked back into my life and treated me like some spoiled kid you barely knew.” I gave a humorless laugh. “I already had all that anger sitting there waiting for somewhere to go.”
His eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn’t interrupt.
“So… I gave it to you.” I forced myself to meet his gaze. “The accusation was part of that. I knew you hadn’t touched me. I also knew what saying you had could cost you, and I did it anyway because I wanted to hurt you.”
His jaw flexed. “You did.”
“I know.”
“You could’ve ruined my career.” His blue eyes grew stormy. “If this horrible apocalypse hadn’t occurred, you would have.”
“I know.”
“And that wasn’t Ben’s fault.” His expression was intense.
“No.” My voice got softer. “It was mine.”
That silenced him.
“I can explain why I was angry, and why I hated you for disappearing from my life. But none of that makes what I did okay.” I gathered my courage and met his gaze so he could tell I was being genuine.
Lucas watched me for a long moment.
“And every apology I gave you afterward was bullshit. I was sorry that there were consequences and that it became a problem.” Drawing in a deep breath, I continued. “But I wasn’t actually sorry for what I’d done to you.”
His face grew stern, his jaw tightening.
My hand found his, and I laced our fingers tightly. “But I am now.” With pleading eyes, I implored him to believe me. “You didn’t deserve it. And I’m sorry, Lucas. Really sorry.”
He was motionless for a brief instant.
Then his hand closed around the back of my neck. I barely had time to inhale before he pulled me across the seat and crushed his mouth to mine.
There was nothing careful about it.
Nothing hesitant.
His kiss was a surrender, as if Lucas had wrestled with the decision for months and finally decided to yield.
My fingers twisted into the front of his shirt as his mouth moved harder over mine. He caught my lower lip between his teeth, and a sharp little sound escaped me before I could stop it.
His grip tightened.
That seemed to be all the encouragement he needed.
He dragged me closer until my knee slid across the torn bench seat and my body pressed against his. One hand stayed tangled in my hair while the other settled hard against my waist.
Every kiss felt like another layer of resentment being burned away.
The principal’s office.
The arguments.
The accusations.
Years of pretending we didn’t matter to each other.
Gone.
I pulled back just enough to breathe, and his forehead hit mine.
“Was that forgiveness?” I whispered.
Lucas’s eyes opened, dark and intense, teetering on the edge of amusement. “No.”
My brows lifted.
His thumb dragged slowly across my bottom lip. "That was me finally admitting I want you.”
My heart stumbled.
“Well,” I breathed softly. “If you'd tried that way earlier, I would've apologized a long time ago.
His mouth curved. “You’re still a menace.”
“Your menace?” I pushed.
His stormy blue eyes locked with mine, and then he kissed me again. “Yeah,” he murmured against my mouth. “Mine.”
The word hit me harder than it should have. Maybe because Lucas had spent so long refusing to claim anything between us.
I smiled against his lips. “For someone who spent months pretending he could barely tolerate me, that sounds dangerously possessive.”
“I did barely tolerate you.” He smirked.
“Past tense?”
“That depends on how much longer you intend to keep talking.” His eyes shone with warmth.
“Asshole.”
“Menace.”
I loved the back-and-forth with this man. And I had a feeling that regardless of how intimate our future relationship became, that would always be a part of it.
His hand tightened at my waist as I shifted closer, pulling his lips back to mine.
Lucas’s fingers slid into my hair, loosening what remained of my braid until damp strands fell around my shoulders.
I made a sound of protest when he tugged lightly. “My hair is filthy, and I’m sure I stink.”
He pulled back, and his eyes roamed over my face. “I’ve never seen you look more beautiful.”
I felt my face grow hot, and to hide my embarrassment, I blurted out. “But you think I stink?”
What the fuck was I doing? I’d waited forever to mend our relationship, and here I was, encouraging him to tell me I stink.
Lucas chuckled. “If you did, I couldn’t smell you over me.” He pulled me close. “Now, kiss me, Menace, and stop worrying about things that don’t matter.”
This kiss was nothing like the other. There was no urgency behind it. No anger.
His mouth settled over mine slowly, almost carefully, and I felt the difference deep in my bones.
I slid my hand up the side of his neck and held him there as the kiss deepened. It was so soft I could feel every tiny shift of his lips against mine. His thumb brushed my cheek while his other hand rested at my waist, neither pulling nor demanding anything of me I wasn’t willing to give.
Steady raindrops pounded the roof, while the landscape beyond the truck dissolved into a damp, misty haze.
There was only Lucas.
When he finally pulled back, he didn’t go far. Just resting his forehead against mine. Neither of us spoke for a few minutes. I could feel his breath against my lips.
Lucas inhaled deeply, then tilted his head back, his gaze locking with mine. “I keep seeing Finley’s face.”
I knew he meant the moment Finley realized the woman he loved had turned.
“He looked like someone had ripped something out of him,” Lucas continued.
“He loves her,” I remarked, knowing the sentiment was plain for all to see.
His fingers tightened around mine. “All I could think was…” he stopped.
“What?”
He shook his head once.
“Lucas?”
His jaw flexed. “If that had been you…”
My chest tightened.
He turned his head to stare at the crack in the windshield, watching rain race down the glass. “I don’t think I understood until tonight.”
“Understood what?”
It was beyond rare to see Lucas showing this kind of emotion.
“How bad it would be.”
I stayed quiet.
He looked back at me. “I’ve spent so much time worrying about whether wanting you was wrong that I never really stopped to think about what losing you would do to me.”
My throat tightened. “Lucas…”
“I watched Finley look at Harper, and I knew.” He swallowed. “If I woke up and you were like that…” His voice broke slightly.
I reached for him.
Lucas caught my hand and pressed it against his chest. I could feel his heart pounding. “I’d lose my mind, Taryn.” His thumb moved slowly across my knuckles. “I watched Finley realize Harper was gone, and for one second I imagined you in her place.”
I felt my stomach twist.
“And I couldn’t breathe.” His grip on my hand was so tight it became uncomfortable.
I leaned closer. “Lucas.”
“I know this new world we’re living in doesn’t offer guarantees, and any of us could die tomorrow.” He cupped my face in his hands. “But if it’s you… I’m done.”