Chapter 15 – Keto
KETO
The next morning the gargoyles pack some bags and leave the rest of the camp, planning on returning later. For some reason, I’m nervous. The last thing I wanted was to show them my powers. I’ve come up with a thousand lies; I just hope they’ll buy them.
When it comes time for us to fly toward the Isle of the Demons, I’m not sure who plans to fly with me. They all seem oddly hesitant. And then, at last, Arthur comes to stand in front of me. The others are tense as he places his hands on my hips.
Strangely, I’m nervous as I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his back.
“You sure you got it?” Clark asks, even grumpier than yesterday.
Arthur smirks. “I can handle one little woman.”
“I’ve heard that before,” Clark mutters.
I feel every muscle in Arthur’s body tense. Suddenly, he begins to flap his wings, and we take off into the sky. Looking back, I see the others squaring off. Arguing.
“What’s going on?”
Arthur shrugs. “Clark’s being an ass. Nothing new.”
“Why?” I ask.
For a long minute, I don’t think he’s going to answer me, but then he does.
“Gargoyles are supposed to choose a mate and share her with their Brotherhood. It’s something that’s been done as long as anyone can remember, probably because there’s so many more male gargoyles than female gargoyles.
” He hesitates, and I want to touch his tense face and ease the stress I see hiding below the surface.
“A long time ago, I met a woman and fell in love with her. I left behind my Brotherhood and my people to live a human life with her.”
“What’s wrong with that?” I ask.
His mouth pulls into a thin line. “Everything, apparently. We’re gargoyles, so we’re supposed to be miserable beings in charge of protecting, serving, and honoring our people. Happiness? Pleasure? Love? It’s all bullshit that’s out of our reach.”
This time I do reach up and stroke his face. “But you didn’t want that… so you chose the human woman?”
He stiffens. “Yes.”
“And did she bring you all these things… happiness, pleasure, and love?”
His hazel eyes lock onto mine, and I see something crumble within him. “No, Sirena. Actually, it was the fucking biggest mistake of my life. I wanted to leave the instant I realized it.”
“So why didn’t you?”
“She had cancer. After that, I couldn’t leave her. She didn’t last long, a few human years, but I stayed at her side.”
“And the others are angry with you for it?”
His frown deepened. “Yeah. They think I’m some idiot who makes awful choices, and maybe I am.”
I laugh, and his gaze jerks back to me. “Wanting to be happy and loved hardly makes you an idiot.”
“It did! I mean, it wasn’t even love. I wasn’t even happy.”
I shake my head. “But you were brave enough to try and that’s more than most people can say.” My smile fades. “It’s more than I’ve tried.”
He looks surprised. “You’ve never been in love?”
I shake my head. “It’s hard to even find a friend when you’re… when you’re like me.”
We fly for a while longer before he finally talks again. “Maybe I wasn’t an idiot then, but I wish they’d just forgive me for it, and stop acting like I’m going to just take off the next time I have a crush.”
“Will you?” I ask.
He looks down at me, surprised.
I’ve said the wrong thing. “I’m sorry, I just, it sounds as if you wanted to find happiness but still haven’t.”
For a minute he just stares at the horizon. “I guess I don’t know. Maybe they do have a reason to worry after all.”
“Or maybe they’re not really worried about you. Maybe they just envy you.”
He laughs. “I seriously doubt that.”
Sadness overwhelms me and it's almost more than I can bear. I lean closer, resting my head against his shoulder. “I envy you,” I whisper.
His grip tightens around me, and I’m glad he doesn’t speak.
Some things shouldn’t be said. I shouldn't say I’m lonely, or that I’ll never find true happiness or love.
Those are thoughts for when you're alone in the dark, when tears can flow unseen.
Those are the thoughts that rest in our hearts and haunt us like ghosts.
Speaking them aloud gives the thoughts more power.
So we say nothing. We just fly. My eyes close, and I enjoy the feel of the wind whipping around me and the morning sun kissing my flesh. More than anything, I enjoy the feeling of being held by another person.
gods and goddesses are fools. They seek power and control, when really all anyone should ever wish for is the peaceful touch of someone who they can trust.
Like the way I feel with Arthur and Max. I could let the thought disturb me, but I refuse to. I have enough worries; I won’t let this be one of them.
Hours rush by before Max calls after us, pointing to an island up ahead. It’s not the Isle of the Demons, so I’m guessing we’re planning to rest here for a time. I’m glad. I need to use the bathroom, and I’m starving.
We all land, and I excuse myself. Searching through the woods, I find a place to relieve myself and then wander back to the beach. The sight that befalls me when I reach it, however, is completely unexpected.
Max has walked far out into the water, and yet, it’s separated on both sides of him, the waves clearing a dry path for him. Freezing behind the gargoyles, I stare in shock.
The gargoyle whirls back toward us, and his eyes are wide. “Does this mean?”
Everyone looks back at me.
“Triton’s powers,” I conclude. “Control of the waves.”
He grins and suddenly sprints in different directions in the water. The waves continue to clear his path, and it’s actually kind of amazing to see. He’s laughing, skimming his hands on the water on both sides of him.
I’ve never seen a god or goddess use their powers for something that makes them happy. I can’t remember the last time I used my powers in such a way. Seeing him like that, it reminds me that perhaps there is more to this life than just pain and misery.
When he finally returns to us at the shore, he’s grinning wildly. “I got the strangest urge to touch the water, and then I just felt this… this amazing feeling, like I was connected with the water.”
I smile. I’m glad he’s enjoying his powers. If everything goes according to plan, he won’t have them much longer, so he might as well.
“Does this mean I have the last powers?” Arthur asks.
“Pontos’s powers,” I tell him. “A god who can speak to simple-minded sea creatures.”
“Like you?” he asks.
I try not to bristle at the insult. “No, I speak to creatures who are intelligent, who feel, and think, and want. Pontos controls the mindless ones, like a cruel master.”
Arthur’s smile falters, and I feel like the lowest barnacle in the sea.
“But connecting with their minds is still an amazing thing.”
That infectious smile of his returns. “Any idea how I can do it?”
I nod and walk towards him. Taking his hand, I lead him out into the water. I’ve never actually taught someone how to connect minds with other beings, but I imagine it can’t be that hard.
When we reach the deeper waters, I tug him under the waves.
For a second I forget he can’t breathe underwater, and then I see him start to struggle.
Keto, he’s a land-dweller!
Pulling him into my arms, I press my lips against his and breathe a sea goddess’ breath. He stiffens and tries yet again to swim for the surface. I shake my head, and he opens his mouth.
I see when he realizes he can breathe under the water. Even in the dimmer light beneath the waves, he’s smiling. This Arthur… I like him.
Moving closer, I press my hands on either side of his face, and I reach out with my mind. I feel all my creatures for miles and miles around me. I feel them freeze, but I say nothing. Do nothing. I can’t let them know I’m alive, not yet.
When I open my eyes, I see that Arthur has closed his. And his entire face is scrunched up, as if he’s trying really hard.
After a time, his eyes open once more, and I’m sad to see the disappointment in their depths. We rise to the surface and explode into the sunshine. We’re both breathing hard, and he turns to me.
“I thought I felt… something. But nothing happened.”
I force a smile. “Be patient. Controlling such strong powers isn’t easy.”
He nods, but still looks unhappy.
We swim back to shore, and the others are eating snacks on the beach. We join them, and Max hands me a bag full of things he explains are nuts and dried berries. I eat them, frowning a bit. I haven’t had such foods before, and I’m not sure I like them. They’re different.
Arthur laughs. “Not good?”
I look up and realize they’re all staring at me. Instantly, I feel my cheeks heat. “Human food is unusual, but I’m grateful for it.”
Arthur bumps my shoulder with his. “It’s okay if you don’t like it; I swear we won’t bite you.”
My cheeks feel hotter.
“For a slave you’re kind of picky,” Clark says.
I stiffen.
“Clark, what the fuck?” Max glares at him.
“What?” he says, glaring right back. “You said we’d discuss the hydra and her powers today, but you chicken-shits keep putting it off.”
And everything seems to change at once.
They don’t trust me. But why should they?
Anger flows between the men, and suddenly it’s too much for me.
If I thought for one second that these gargoyles could hear the truth and still trust me…
still help me, I would, but that’s just the thing.
They'll never be able to see past what I am.
No matter what. And the truth leaves me with a hollow feeling deep within my chest.
I wordlessly hand my bag of food back to Arthur and stand. My heart’s hammering. I just… I need to escape. I need to be away from them.
I hurry to the edge of the water and then remember I can’t just pick a direction and start swimming. It’s too dangerous. There’s too much of a risk that I’ll be found by my brother’s minions.
In fact, I never should’ve gotten in the water with Arthur in the first place. It was reckless and stupid. I’d gotten caught up in his excitement and forgotten every drop of common sense.
“Sirena?” Steven calls my name.
I turn back. He’s standing.
“I’m fine,” I say, because I can see he’s worried.
“Clark didn’t mean anything by that. He was just being an asshole.”
Clark leaps to his feet. “Of course I meant something by it. I think she’s lying to us. I don’t even think she was a slave.”
I stare at him. What am I supposed to say to that? But everyone’s looking at me.
“Believe what you want, but I am a slave.”
“Am or was?” he challenges.
My eyes prickle, and my hands curl into fists. Stomping toward him, I know I’m breathing hard. Angry and sad all at once. “You have no idea what it feels like to be owned and controlled by someone else.”
He smirks unkindly. “Hate to tell you this, babe, but every made gargoyle has a master and creator he obeys.”
“So where’s yours?” I challenge.
His blue eyes darken. “Dead.”
“Lucky you,” I spit out. “But mine’s alive and well, just waiting to control me again.”
He crosses his big arms over his chest, and his face goes blank. “Are you just a mermaid?”
I stare, not knowing what to say.
“Mermaids aren’t immortal or powerful. They have long lives, but that’s about it. So what are you?”
Max, Arthur, and Steven look between me and him. Now what? I wasn’t sure they knew enough about mermaids to know something was off with me, but apparently, I was wrong. Was there any point in continuing to lie?
My shoulders sag. “I'm a slave, as I said, but I'm also a goddess."
I wait for it. I wait for the moment they realize exactly which of the many sea goddesses I must be, because I'll be screwed. I’ll become their prisoner, at least until my brother gets his hands on me again.
“Well, that explains it” Max says, his tone holding an edge. “So she’s a goddess? That doesn’t really change anything.”
Clark’s mouth drops open for a second before he shuts it. “It means she lied to us! She can’t be trusted!”
Arthur rolls his eyes. “Mr. Damaged and Can’t Trust Women is back.”
In seconds Clark goes smashing into him. They roll around in the sand, and I’m shocked to see Arthur holding his own. Both men are tussling. Steven and Max jump in trying to separate them, and I’m left staring in shock.
What in the hell just happened?
Finally, Steven and Max manage to get in the middle of the two. Clark’s nose is bleeding. Arthur’s going to have a black eye, and both of them are panting and glaring.
“That’s enough,” Max says. “This mission has been—“
“Shut your fucking mouth!” Clark shouts. “I don’t know why they made you a leader, but you’re not leader material. You’re soft! If I was in charge right now, I’d leave that lying mermaid here to rot, but you don’t have the balls for it.”
Max draws himself up taller. “Maybe that’s why they chose me.”
Clark’s eyes blaze with anger. “Say it.”
“This isn’t like the old days where missions were all about killing. We’re supposed to bring this Keto back alive. Maybe they knew, given your past, that you couldn’t do it.”
Tension crackles between the men, and for a second I think there’s going to be another fight.
“Fuck this,” Clark says.
Turning around, he grabs his bag off the sand where it had fallen.
“Where are you going?” Max demands.
“I’m going to follow my own lead, and you guys can just fuck off.”
“We can’t split up again.” This time Max gets in his face. “This is just a stupid fight. We can—“
Clark shoves him back, shifts, and leaps into the air. Max moves as if to follow him, but Arthur catches his arm.
“Let him go cool off. He knows where we’re going. He knows where we’re camping. He’ll find us when he wants to.”
Max shrugs his hand off. “Why did you have to piss him off?”
Arthur’s brows rise. “I’m pretty sure you pissed him off too.”
And then they both turn to stare at me, and suddenly, I burst into tears. All three gargoyles are around me in an instant. I try to pull away from them, to gather myself together. But they won’t let me. They hold me, touch me, and murmur words of comfort.
“It’s okay,” I say.
But I hate myself for this. For realizing just how much their fighting and words scared me. A million moments with my brother and his second in command come back to me. They killed and hurt without thought. These gargoyles aren’t the same way, so why did it scare me so badly?
“Are you okay?” Max asks.
I shake my head no, but say, “Yes.”
I’m suddenly pulled into his strong arms, and I sag against him. I stay that way, shaking, with tears running down my face for far too long. At last, I look up and meet his gaze.
“That wasn’t about you,” he says.
“Then what was it about?”
He hesitates, then sighs. “Clark has a complicated past with his builder. It’s made him mistrustful of women.”
I want to pretend that’s all my tears were about. “Please, don’t fight again.” I turn, and my gaze meets Steven’s and Arthur’s. “I don’t like it.”
They all seem to stand up taller, but it’s Steven who answers. “We’ll try our best.”
I nod. I guess that’s all I can ask for.