Chapter 2 – Celaeno
CELAENO
Swiping at my tears, I pull on the tattered shreds of my control and force my sadness down. I cannot let myself feel. I need to walk away and get as far from this city as possible before I lose it.
Opening the door, my chest aches at the familiar jingle of the bell, but I don’t look back.
I step out into the city. A cool, crisp wind slams into me, the air charged with nature’s power.
Autumn’s perfect wind and grey clouds whisper of rain.
I try to focus on that, not the people walking on the sidewalk, bundled up and hurrying along. Not my birds.
But despite my best intentions, my gaze moves up.
Birds of every kind line the rooftops, staring down at me.
I see the pigeons, loyal and relentless.
They’re flanked by songbirds, who bring their powerful voices and sharp claws.
The hawks ignore their usual prey and focus on me, their mother. The mother of all birds.
The door behind me jingles again. I whirl, not sure what to expect.
Ashley is standing in the doorway. She just stares at me. “Listen…”
What's left of my heart lifts, waiting for her apology, waiting for any kindness that can let me forgive her, my only friend.
“I could still really use your help moving next week, and you said you’d put the moving truck on your card.”
You have got to be kidding me. I’m staring. I know I am. My thoughts honestly can’t make sense of her words. No one is this awful. Right?
Rage heats within my chest, turning the ashes of my heart into glowing embers of fire.
“You,” I begin, and then I take a deep breath. "You lied. You blamed me for something you did. You made Mrs. Andrews think I was a monster. You made Papa hate me. You made him fire me!”
She puts one hand on her hip. “I did not! You blamed me for those chemicals when we both know it was you! I don’t make mistakes like that. You’re the klutz! You’re the one who’s there all the time, not me! So don’t blame me for your mistake!”
People have stopped to stare at us, but I don’t care.
“I don’t use comet! I don’t put fucking cleaning products out with food, because I’m not a complete dumbass, like you! There’s no way in hell I did it, and we both know it. So own your shit!”
My finger is flying, jabbing closer and closer to her chest with each word.
For one brief second I see it on her face. She knows she did it. She knows everything is her fault. She knows she can't win.
To close the deal, she bursts out crying like someone who has been struck across the face.
A man steps forward. “Are you okay?”
More people crowd around us.
“She,” Ashley sobs, pointing at me. “Tried to poison our customers. When I tried to stop her, she started shouting at me! She’s blaming me for getting her fired, just because I told the truth.”
“That’s not what happened, you bitch!” The embers in my chest have grown to flames. I’m not crazy. Everyone might be falling for her act, but I’m not.
I replay everything that’s happened, breathing hard. None of this was my fault. I didn’t do anything. Right? I think I’m losing my mind.
“Why don’t you just leave her alone?” the man growls, glaring in my direction.
Leave her alone?
“You've got to be freaking kidding me! She’s a bitch! She’s a selfish user who doesn’t care about anyone but herself!”
She clutches her chest. “You were my best friend,” she wails.
Two men step in front of her and one of them draws himself up in a threatening pose. "Leave her alone.”
“No!” I shout at him. “Because I’m right! She’s the liar!”
The crowd closes in around me and everyone shouts at once, calling me names. Someone is holding Ashley as she leans against the man, snuggling into his suit.
My head spins. They’re comforting her. My world has fallen down around me, and they’re comforting her.
“Apologize to your friend!” a woman demands, her face suddenly inches from mine.
Her face swims in my vision. “No.”
“Your words were venomous, awful,” she spits out at me. “I’ve never heard someone talk like that about someone else.”
I stare her down. “She’s the problem, not me.”
“Get out of here, bitch!” I hear a shout and suddenly, a drink hits my shoulder.
I turn and look at the soda dripping from the sleeve of my grey shirt. That fire inside of me? It explodes.
The screeching of birds fills my ears as their wings flap all around us.
Screams tear through the air. Birds start pecking everyone in sight, descending upon them like a plague. They’re clawing at Ashley’s hair and face, leaving bloody gouges from their talons. The humans are scattering, running away as fast as they can. They always run.
“No,” I whisper, trying to calm the fire inside of me, but it won’t calm.
“Stop,” I command my birds, but they don't hear me. Instead, they feel me. They don't hear me when they feel my emotions so powerfully.
When I’m out of control, they’re out of control. I need to calm myself.
But I can’t. I’m angry. I’m heartbroken. I’m lost.
I run around the building, slipping into an alley. I transform within seconds, my bones breaking and shifting.
I know the moment I’ve become a raven. My wings spread, and I launch into the sky.
I circle the street once, seeing that some people have taken refuge in shops.
But others are still being chased by my birds.
Ashley lies on the ground, and my birds cover her like a blanket of feathers. Her screams fill the air.
If I could stop them now, I would. But if I remain here, my emotions won’t calm. Instead, I fly as far and as fast as I can to my safe place. The air whips around me, cool and filled with the scents of a city. I’m aware of all of it, but underneath I’m in a web of turmoil.
When I land on my roof I shift once more, my knees hitting the ground roughly.
My palms press against the cool concrete as I get my balance.
I’m so angry. I can't believe that one lying woman—a person I considered my best friend—has destroyed everything. My family. My job. My whole life is gone and I have nothing to show for it. I’m so angry…
The anger leaves me like a flash of wind and I'm sobbing, my entire body shaking. The fire in my heart cools into nothing.
I cry until there are no tears left, and then, I cry more. The sobs come from my belly and explode through me.
It doesn’t take long before I feel feathers against me. Tiny heads press alongside my body, rubbing against me, trying to bring me comfort. I open my eyes and stare into the wise face of a hawk. He lowers his head and our foreheads press together.
“Thank you,” I whisper to them all.
Their presence makes me feel less alone, but more than that, having them here with me means that they're no longer hurting the humans.
The myths might say I’m a monster, a cruel harpy with the body of a bird and the face of a woman, a grotesque thing without kindness or empathy.
But like I said, I’m none of those things.
As much as I want to pretend that Ashley crying in pain is satisfying, it’s not. I don’t want to hurt anyone just because I’m hurting. I just wish I could feel my own feelings without my birds sensing it. If I could, there wouldn’t even be an ounce of truth to the rumors.
I’d just be me.
My birds warm me with their bodies, and more tears fall.
I’m no longer out of control, but the tears keep coming.
I've lost so much. In the next few weeks, Ashley will have comfort. She’ll have Papa and people to lean on.
They’ll tell her I’m awful. They’ll tell her the angry birds were a freakish problem outside of her control.
But me? I’ll be alone with my birds. With nothing.
There’s no point in me remaining here, but I don’t know where else to go. I’ve seen the world. And there’s no place in it for me.
So I keep crying.
I think this is one of the lowest moments in all my lives. I have hit rock bottom.
A disturbance among the birds causes me to open my eyes.
I'm startled when I see the most beautiful man imaginable leaning over me. His hair is the color of the deepest night. His eyes are dark, not brown, but an impossibly deep black that seems to go on forever. His face is chiseled as if by a loving hand, and his body is massive, like a titan of old.
"I—"
Out of nowhere, his big fist punches me in the face.
My head snaps back as my vision goes black.
I come to with the sensation that I can't breathe. Something cold is being tightened around my throat. I hear my birds shrieking, their comforting feathers gone.
I blink as my vision returns, but I still can't move. He's on top of me, holding my arms above my head. Fear seizes my heart. My instincts tells me to shift, to escape whatever he has planned.
I reach for my other form—and nothing. It’s just not there.
“That’s right,” he whispers above me, his mouth curling into a cruel smile. “You can’t shift. There'll be no escape for you, monster.”
For one terrible moment I struggle with all my might, and then something inside of me twists. I really can’t fight against someone this much stronger than me. Not like this. So what can I do?