Chapter 9 – Lamia
LAMIA
Something disturbs me from my slumber, and I ache to ignore it. My dreams are sometimes sad or frightening, but they’re always better than my reality. The monotony of days upon days of the same thing stretching out for eternity.
And yet, the disturbance won’t seem to go away. It hauls me from my slumber with a cruelty that only reality can bring.
My eyes flash open, and I’m staring at three gargoyles. No, they don’t wear their stone form, but I’d know them as gargoyles anywhere. Tall, muscular men with swords on their backs. Swords with glamours that shimmer subtly over them, a magic that keeps them hidden from human eyes.
They could only be gargoyles.
For a minute I don’t move, I can’t seem to. I remember them. All three of them. They were the ones I killed. The ones who had called me to them. The men who had tasted like heaven and filled me with joy.
And utter sorrow when I overfed and killed them.
So many times, I was able to pull back from a person. I was able to drag myself away before I ended their lives. At least if my hunger wasn’t too deep.
But I couldn’t with them. And the knowledge had hurt something deep inside of me.
“You’re awake,” Ryker says, his voice guarded.
I rise slowly to a sitting position, aware of the tension in the big men. “Yes.”
“Do you remember Vincent and Darius?” Ryker points to each of the gargoyles as he says their names, and it feels as if I’ve finally been able to put a name to all the men who had haunted me for so long.
Men so handsome they take my breath away. I can’t believe I took that beauty from the world.
My throat feels tight. “I remember.”
Flashes come to me. Of how badly I wanted their blood. But also of how badly I wanted them.
“You killed us,” the one named Darius says, his words filled with hatred.
For a minute, everything wars within me.
He’s so handsome. Not nearly as tall as Ryker, but easy half a foot taller than me.
His hair is blond and left too long, but it somehow adds an edge to the man.
Actually, everything about him has an edge.
His cheekbones are high, almost sharp. His body is lean, but with tight muscles.
This man is a contradiction. A gargoyle who feels always in control, but also with an edge that he carries with him like a weapon, or like a wall that separates himself from others.
It’s strange.
“You have nothing to say?” he asks, and again there’s that edge to him that makes him feel dangerous.
Stop staring. Stop feeling strange. Focus on him. He wants a response to killing him.
Images come again of the night I killed him, and guilt chews at my stomach. “I did kill you, and I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” he barks the word. “You don’t get to just say sorry when you kill someone.”
I draw my knees up to my chest and rest my chin on the top of them. Closing my eyes, hundreds of faces flash before my eyes. All my victims. “I know. There’s no forgiveness for killing. There’s no excuse for it. No peace from it. Nothing I can ever do to make it right.”
Silence strains between us.
“That’s right,” Darius says, but some of the anger is gone from his voice.
Someone clears his throat. “But Ryker has told us about your deal, and we’re in agreement to supply you with the blood you need to get there safely.”
I open my eyes, fighting my misery. “Really?”
“We don’t want to do it,” Darius cuts in. “But if it could end this curse, I’ll give it a chance.”
I don’t think they know what they’re agreeing to do. So even though I want this desperately, I have to say the words. “And what if I drink too much? What if I kill one of you again…if that’s possible?”
“We won’t let you,” Darius says, rage in his eyes.
“Promise?”
He stares at me, then at Vincent.
Vincent clears his throat. “Do you know what we’ll find once we reach this…cave?”
My gaze moves to the other gargoyle, and I’m surprised.
I killed him too, and yet he doesn’t radiate anger the way the other gargoyles do.
He’s just a tiny bit taller than Darius, but he’s different in every way.
His hair is a reddish brown and pulled back into a warrior’s tail.
He has a neatly trimmed beard that frames a face that’s gentle and kind.
His stunning blue eyes hold merriment, as does the curve of his very soft-looking lips.
I can’t believe this man is a gargoyle. He seems like the kind of man who should be on a playground, running after his children. Bringing a light to his wife’s life. Filling the world with joy.
And yet, I killed him too. Did I take all of that from him? His future? His chance at love and children?
They all look to the book at once. Then they approach it slowly, moving closer to me.
“Lamia?” he says, his voice filled with curiosity.
I jerk. “Sorry. I…don’t talk to people much. Especially not beautiful men.”
Is Vincent blushing? “We’re not beautiful men, we’re warriors. Gargoyles.”
My gaze runs over him. “So, all gargoyles look like you guys?”
He lifts a muscular arm and rubs the back of his neck. “No, uh, I’d like to think we’re particularly hot.”
“His question was, what will we find in the cave?” Darius asks, a note of irritation to his voice.
“I only know what the book indicates.”
“And nothing else?”
“You don’t smile much, do you?” I feel my eyes widen. Did I just say that out loud?
“I wouldn’t say I have much to smile about right now, do you?” He raises a brow.
Ryker clears his throat. “So, it sounds like none of us know what to expect from the cave.”
A slight breeze moves unexpectedly over the island.
Instantly, I can smell the gargoyles, and the desire within me rages.
I know what each of their blood tastes like.
Their blood all tastes different, uniquely like them, and so delicious.
Their blood didn’t just satisfy my hunger; it filled me in a way I can’t explain.
And now? It’s more than that. It’s a strange heat that travels through my body that calls for their touch. That imagines what it would feel like to have them inside of me.
I spring back from them, and Vincent and Darius draw their swords, leveling them at me.
I’m breathing hard.
“What the hell was that?” Darius shouts.
I shake my head.
“She’s hungry,” Ryker says, answering for me.
“You can’t be here,” I tell them, panic in my voice. I’m so close to cracking. They have no idea.
They’re silent for a time.
“If we’re going to do this,” Ryker finally begins, “one of us should feed her now. Then we can see how much it controls her. If it actually makes her safer to be around.”
“Be my guest,” Darius mutters under his breath.
Vincent still holds his sword out before him. “Will it hurt?”
I look between them, my entire body shaking. “I don’t know. I don’t know what it feels like…for the other person.”
Again, my words are met with silence.
“I’ll feed her,” Ryker says.
My gaze goes to him, but he avoids looking at me.
“Are you sure?” Darius asks, looking uncertain.
“I suggested this plan. I should be the one to go first.”
The big man doesn’t move for a long minute, and I stare in shock.
No one has offered to let me feed on them before, and certainly no one so appetizing.
My gaze moves from his dark hair to his dark eyes and then to his broad, powerful body full of muscles.
I remember with painful accuracy how his body had felt against me in the water and on the sand.
I’m almost scared to touch him. To bite him.
What will happen? These are new and uncharted waters.
After a minute, he moves slowly toward me, and I feel myself backing up along the sand until I’m nearly on the other side of the fire.
He raises a brow. “This won’t work if you run away.”
I nibble my bottom lip. “I could hurt you. I could lose control—“
“They’ll step in then.”
“I’m stronger than I look.”
“So are they.”
I glance at the two gargoyles. They’re watching us curiously.
And I realize, I have to get it together. This guy is offering himself to me as a meal, and I’m more afraid than he is. If we’re going to make this work, really make this work, I can’t let my fears stop me.
“Okay,” I say, willing myself not to move. “Let’s…let’s do this.”
Ryker raises a brow, but says nothing more. He moves around the fire and seats himself down beside me. From this close, his delicious scent fills my nose, and my mouth waters. I can sense his pulse again, beating rapidly in his throat, and I feel my mouth grow wet with saliva.
I’ve been hungry for so long. Feeding on birds and fish.
I can’t imagine what a real meal will taste like. I can’t imagine what he’ll taste like.
“You smell amazing,” I say.
“Like a burger?” Vincent asks. I think his words are meant to be a joke, but they’re strained.
“Like sex and chocolate.”
I wince. Did I just say that aloud?
“Sex and chocolate?” Vincent looks at Ryker. “I guess…congrats?”
Ryker looks embarrassed. “Does it matter what I smell like?”
I close my eyes. “No, it’s just the three of you smell better than anyone I’ve ever met. My senses are so sharp that it’s overwhelming. It makes me want you. Want to do things to you…”
I hear their breath come out in a rush, and I swear I can sense their hearts beating faster. A perfume lingers on the air. Not just their scents. But desire?
No, I must be imagining that.
“How do we want to do this?” Ryker says.
My eyes flash open, and my inner muscles clench as I look at him. Gods, I wonder what it’ll feel like to be close to him. I wonder what his muscles will feel like under my touch. I bet his skin is soft. It looks soft.
“Lamia?”
“Sorry.” I shake my head. “I was just thinking about how soft your skin looks.”
Ryker looks offended.
“I mean…I’m not saying you’re soft. You look hard. Your muscles look hard and strong and—“
“Hell,” he mutters.
Darius clears his throat, looking embarrassed. “He asked how your feedings usually go.”
What is wrong with you? Focus!