Chapter 22 – Lamia
LAMIA
As I cling to Vincent’s neck as we fly, certainty flows through me as the goddess’s words nudge at the back of my mind. I couldn’t get distracted from my goal. I had to have one hundred percent of my focus on bringing my children back and ending the curse for these gargoyles.
Which meant everything needed to change. I can’t waste my energy hating myself anymore. I can’t see myself as a monster anymore. I need to be a mom.
Which is strangely the most powerful thing that I’ve ever been.
As a mom, I kept going for them, no matter how hard things got. No matter how cold the winters were or how frightened I was that we wouldn’t have enough food. I always made sure they were fed, no matter what I had to sacrifice. They had clean clothes, shoes, and a house they called a home.
No matter what I faced, I did those things for them.
For Atticus. His face blossoms in my mind. My son. A six year old boy with the kind of smile that could melt the grumpiest man’s heart. A boy who laughed easily and never seemed to run out of energy.
For Sofia. A little girl who loved to hold my hand. Who liked to fall asleep with me running my fingers through her hair. With the same black hair and blue eyes as I had. Sometimes it was like I was staring down at a younger version of myself.
“You okay?” Vincent asks.
I look up into his blue eyes. They’re the same shade as my son’s. I don’t know why this is the first time I’ve noticed it.
Maybe because I didn’t want to.
His expression changes to one of concern, but we land lightly in the dark alley. I pull away from him and watch as the three gargoyle shift back into their human forms.
“I can’t do this,” I say.
All three gazes snap to me.
“Lamia—“ Ryker begins.
“I don’t mean this mission,” I say, trying to find the words.
“I can’t keep looking at all of you and feeling misery.
I can’t keep feeling this…hatred for who and what I am.
Because…I have a chance to get my kids back.
I have a chance to get the two people in this world back that I love more than anything else.
But I can’t do it if I feel like this. I know you guys hate who and what I am.
But I can’t. Do you understand? I have to accept what I am and fight with every fiber of my being for them. ”
Clenching my teeth together, I stop talking and stare at them. I don’t know what I expected them to say, but I needed to speak the words. Because something has changed inside of me, and I don’t have the energy to fight these gargoyles every step of the way.
“Okay,” Ryker says, so simply that I’m stunned. “If there’s anything gargoyles understand, it’s loyalty and fighting for the people in our care.”
Darius gives me a small smile. “And it helps that we’re all working toward the same goal.”
Vincent touches my arm lightly. “Besides, you’re not that bad.”
I laugh. A sound I haven’t heard in years.
“Thank you!”
Ryker rubs the back of his neck, a strangely embarrassed look on his face. “So, to the casino?”
I nod. “To the casino.”
We walk down the long sidewalk crowded with people. The smell of alcohol and sweat lingers in the air. The sound of heels clicking on the pavement is heard below the music that drifts from some building along the road.
It takes only a short time before we stop in front of a casino with bright lights and a huge doorway. We walk through it as if in a dream. This place…it’s different from anywhere I’ve been before. Like a beehive humming with life.
A man walks out of the casino, his face angry. “Here!” He glares at me and pushes something into my hands. “Maybe you’ll have better luck than I did.”
I look down in confusion and find round plastic circles in my hands.
Behind me, I hear the man squeak.
Turning, I see that Ryker has him by the front of his shirt, hoisted up in the air, his legs dangling. “Did you just touch her?”
The man’s voice comes out high and frightened. “I just gave her my chips, so she could play the games! That’s all, man!”
Ryker’s laser-focused gaze lands on me. “Are you alright?”
I nod, confused.
He drops the man and moves to my side. Taking my free hand, he winds it through the crook of my arm. “These humans are drunk and stupid. It’s best you stay close.”
As if hearing his words, Darius and Vincent are suddenly flanking our sides.
I hold the chips in one hand as we walk through the casino, which is apparently a huge room filled with blinking machines and humans staring blankly at them.
I’m not sure what exactly we’re looking for.
Something with three hearts? But I feel like that could be anything in this mess of machines and people.
Still, we wander through the room at what I hope looks like a leisurely pace. Watching humans putting chips into machines and pulling handles, as different shapes and characters spin. Sometimes the humans look happy. Other times they look miserable.
“Gambling,” Vincent says. “They take their hard-earned money, put it in the machines, and hope to make more than they lose.”
We pause as we come to several tables in the middle of the room where people are playing card games.
“Do they usually win?” I ask.
Vincent laughs. “No, the house is always the winner. Gambling is a good way to lose a lot of money, fast.”
“Then why do they do it?”
He turns to me, those blue eyes of his crinkling at the corners. “Hope. They hope that they’ll be a big winner and it’ll change their fortune. That they’ll go home and life will seem a little less bleak.”
I look back at the people and their cards. “I hope not all of them have bleak lives. They already don’t live long. They might as well be happy.”
The gargoyles look at me again in that funny way that I don’t understand, and then Ryker continues leading us through the casino. At last, we spot a lone machine against a wall. For some reason, my eyes are drawn to it. And then I spot the three hearts above the machine.
“There!” I whisper, pointing to it.
Darius spots the machine and frowns. “Could that really be it?”
“Did you see anything else with three hearts?” I ask.
Instead of answering, we all move toward it.
“We need to be careful,” Vincent says.
“Why?” Darius asks.
“Well, beyond the warning from a god, there are human things to worry about too.” He points to black circles on the walls, tall ceiling, and machine.
“Those are recording us. Meaning, people are watching every move everyone in this room makes from a security room somewhere. If they see anything suspicious, they’ll be on us faster than our heads can spin.
” Then he gestures to some big men in black suits standing against various walls around the room.
“And those security guards have ear-pieces. Little pieces of equipment in their ears that allow them to hear the people in the security room. The instant they’re given an order, they’ll act.
And we don’t want to get caught up with human problems.”
Yeah, that’s the last thing we need.
“Definitely not,” Ryker says. “So, let’s all try to blend in.”
When we stop in front of the machine, and the chair before it, we all start to search around it. Trying our best to not look conspicuous.
At last, Darius whispers, “There’s something over here!”
We move to his side of the machine and duck down.
Darius reads the inscription, “Only the player with true intent may win the golden chip.”
I frown. “What does that mean?”
He shakes his head, frowning. “I think we need to play the machine and try to win.”
I look down at the chips in my hand. “We have seven.”
Ryker draws himself up taller. “Then we have seven chances to win.”
He holds out his hand, and I drop the chips into his palm. He looks ridiculously massive as he sits down in the little chair before the machine. It takes us a minute of searching to find the place to insert the chip, but once we do, the machine makes a little noise.
“Now what?” he asks.
“I think you pull the handle,” I say.
His gaze moves to the handle, and he reaches up and pulls. In front of us, different shapes spin on three different spots. When at last it stops, he gets a circle, a triangle, and a square.
“Did it work?” He looks from the top of the machine to the bottom.
Vincent laughs. “No. Trust me, you’ll know when it wins. It’ll make lots of noise, and chips will fall out.
Ryker tries again. Still no luck.
“Let me,” Darius says.
Ryker shrugs and moves. Darius tries twice. Nothing happens.
Wordlessly, Vincent goes next with the same result. We’re left with one chip.
“I guess I can go last,” Ryker says, looking at the chip.
“No!” My thoughts are spinning. “The goddess said only I could do this. What if she meant win this machine?”
Darius’s brows draw together. “It’s worth a shot.”
Ryker hands me the chip.
A thousand nasty thoughts enter my mind, whispering that I’ll fail. That I shouldn’t be the one to do this, because I destroy everything I touch. But I grit my teeth and remind myself that I’m not Lamia the monster anymore. I’m Lamia the mom. And I’ll succeed, if only for my kids.
Reaching up, I put the coin in the slot, take a deep breath, and drop it in.
The machine makes a little sound, and I feel sweat trickling down my back.
If this doesn’t work, we’re out of chips.
We’ll have to get more, somehow. And we don’t even know for sure that this is what the map was talking about. We could be completely wrong.
I feel scared, but I reach up and pull the handle.
The shapes begin to spin. My stomach turns. And the first shape stops.
A heart.
I lean forward, my eyes glued to the next spinning spot.
A heart.
Shit. I could get three hearts. I could win. And this could be what we’re looking for.
The wheel stops. It’s a third heart.
Instantly, the machine goes crazy. Lights flash. A sound plays. And out of the bottom, a single chip drops into a little tray.
I reach for it and pull out a shimmering coin. A gold one.