Chapter 9 – Orion
ORION
We’re loaded with packs of food and supplies as we finish the last leg of our journey to the passage to the Underworld.
The ocean beneath us is strangely beautiful.
For years, I haven’t found anything beautiful.
I haven’t felt excited or happy about anything.
But now that we are on a path to save Andros, the world is changing for me once more.
Memories come back to me of Andros and I fighting together, laughing together, and eating together. We were the other halves of each other's souls. Immortality didn’t seem so bad when I was in it with my best friend.
But for so long all I thought about was what Hades would do to a gargoyle in the Underworld.
I woke up in a sweat, imagining the ways the bastard god would torture him.
Even now, I feel a cold sweat on my body at just the thought of all he has endured since his “death.” I know he’ll never be the same again, but I hope one day he and I can have happiness together, with Blaise as the third in our Brotherhood. In our family.
“There’s the island!” Blaise points off in the distance.
We fly faster toward it, and I cast a look at the phoenix.
His wings aren’t lit, since it’s mid-afternoon.
But even so, the sun seems to light him in its glow.
I have no idea how someone who has been through as much as he has still seems to see the good in everything.
Sometimes it makes me feel weak, and yet, Blaise has a way of making me feel strong, like a hero.
I suspect he does it on purpose, but I never can prove it.
Still, it’s nice not to have to face this alone.
Suddenly, two figures drop from the clouds above us.
My sword is in my hand in an instant, and Blaise stands at the ready beside me.
The two phoenixes have their own swords out, but they look surprised as they glance between me and Blaise.
“We saw you in the distance and thought a gargoyle had taken a phoenix prisoner,” one of them says, his gaze narrowed.
The other smirks. “But now we see it’s only Blaise, the outcast.”
A growl rumbles in the back of my throat. “He is no outcast to me.”
The smirking one runs fingers through his dark hair. “It’s sad, really. The only one who would take him are the asshole gargoyles.”
“Shut up,” Blaise says, but his voice is barely louder than a whisper, and his head is downcast.
My heart races at the sight of him so demur. “I’m proud to have him fighting at my side,” I say, my hand tightening on the hilt of his sword.
“Proud?” the smirking one mocks. “No one could feel that way after what he did…”
“Shut up,” Blaise repeats, but his sword hand has dropped to his side.
I stare between them. Blaise never spoke of what led to him being outcast. I’ve always been curious, since he knows my deepest, darkest secrets, but I realized long ago that it’s just something I’ll never know.
The smirking blond one raises his brows. “Does the gargoyle not know? Is he unaware of what the child killer did?”
Child killer? No. That’s impossible. Blaise would never do such a thing.
But Blaise doesn’t respond, doesn’t defend himself in any way.
“Get out of here,” I growl, and fly a little closer to them.
Both men look surprised. I grit my teeth and hold my sword at the ready. If they want a fight, I’ll give them a fight, and I’m not t aware of any time two phoenixes have taken down a gargoyle.
At last, the smirking one shakes his head. “It’s not worth it. But this isn’t over, child killer. We’ll be back for you.”
They dart around us and back into the cloud. My heart hammers, and we fly in place for one long moment as I study the clouds, hoping that the phoenixes aren’t dumb enough to try a surprise attack.
When I’m sure they’re gone, I resheath my sword, and Blaise does the same, and we continue to the island. I expect him to counter what the phoenixes said. I expect him to pop up with his attitude or his positive spin, but his shoulders are hunched, and he says nothing at all.
We spot the rocky area around the outside of the island and fly down to land, just as the instructions said. Then, feeling sick to my stomach, I turn to Blaise. “I need an explanation.”
His dark eyes flash golden as they collide with mine, and the hurt in his face takes my breath away. “I’m here, with you, venturing to the Underworld to save your brother. I’ve fought at your side time and time again. Do you really need to know about my past?”
I hate myself for saying it. “This time, when it comes to children, I do.”
To my surprise, he collapses onto a rock, and runs his fingers through his hair. His movements are jerky and out of control. His whole body seems to shake. “It was all my fault. Stupid, but all my fault.”
I stare down at him, waiting.
He releases a slow breath. “Among the phoenixes, I’d had many lovers.
But ultimately the women would choose someone they felt.
..was a better match. More responsible. More of a provider.
And so, I wasn’t exactly liked in the community by all the exes of the women.
But I didn’t care. I loved my life, and I particularly loved all their kids.
Children...I don’t know. They’re so innocent.
They laugh, even if it’s about something dumb.
They don’t care what anyone thinks.” A sad smile plays across his lips.
“I used to tell them stories about stupid things I’d done.
A couple of their moms warned me to be careful, because the kids idolized me.
Well, one day after a few too many drinks, I was flying back to my home, a little treehouse in our community.
I ran into a couple of boys who told me they’d read about the tale of Icarus, the boy who flew too close to the sun, and the wings his father built, and his plummet into the sea and death. ”
Uh oh.
“I told them that as a boy, my friends and I would challenge each other to see how high we could go. All their fathers had done it. It was just a silly thing that stupid boys did. And then I went home and passed out.” He stares down at his hands.
“Later on that day, no one could find the three boys. I was woken to help find them, but there was no trace of them. Finally, one child stepped forward and told everyone how I had shared the old stories and that the three boys had decided to try it near the beach.”
He rubs his face and runs his hands through his hair, looking everywhere but at me. I want to tell him it’s okay. I want to tell him that whatever happened, it wasn’t his fault, but I know he won’t believe me.
Slowly and softly he says, “They found their bodies washed up along the shore. They’d flown too high, probably gone unconscious, then plummeted into the ocean and drowned.
” He releases a slow breath. “It didn’t matter that it was something kids had done forever.
It didn’t matter that I’d never told them to do it.
They said it was my fault. That my words had led to their deaths.
And they weren’t wrong. So, I was exiled.
As I flew away from my only home as the words ‘child killer’ were thrown at me. ”
“Blaise--”
His gaze finally meets mine and the grief in his eyes overwhelms me.
“I’m an idiot, Orion. A complete moron. Life had all just been fun and games.
A never-ending assortment of pleasure. I helped those kids learn how to fly.
I swam with them, taught them how to weave wreaths for their hair, and collect oysters on the beach.
And then I killed them. I did. Maybe not with my two hands.
But I should’ve known better than to say a word. ”
And then, more softly, he says, “I hate it all. But more than that, I hate this lingering feeling that there was more to what happened than I thought. Those kids were smart. I can’t imagine them flying until they passed out.
And then there’s the way we found their bodies.
..they didn’t look like bodies that had been in the ocean for days.
There was just something I could never put my finger on, but that felt.
..wrong.” He shakes his head. “They said between what happened, and the eclipse, I wasn’t in my right mind. ”
I stiffen. The eclipse? That was the same day my brother had died. I’d always wondered, on a night when all immortal beings were out of sync with the world, if the eclipse had had something to do with what had happened to my brother.
But maybe Blaise and I were both just desperately grasping at straws.
I sit down with Blaise and wrap an arm around his shoulder.
We both stare out at the ocean, or maybe I’m staring at the ocean, and he’s caught in the past. I’m not good with words, but something needs to be said.
I’m not the smartest gargoyle, but even I know that Blaise had been blamed for a horrible accident.
Phoenixes aren’t the only ones who play games like that, but the second any of us feel dizzy, well, we come back down. Blaise isn’t to blame.
But I understand the need to blame oneself.
“The day my brother...left, he asked me to help him with a favor for the Elites. I’d said no.
I did what the Elites ordered, but never more than that.
In my mind, they were old assholes who were stuck in the old ways.
My brother didn’t push me, he just left to do it.
When I found him, he wasn’t breathing, his heart wasn’t beating, and he was cold as ice.
The other gargoyles came. They told me he was dead, but I wouldn’t hear it.
They said my stubbornness was because I blamed myself for not being there to keep him safe, and maybe that was part of it, but.
..well, the message here is that we all make mistakes.
Most of those mistakes have small or no consequences, but sometimes there’s a terrible consequence.
It doesn’t mean you did a terrible thing.
It’s just that sometimes life isn’t fair. ”