Chapter 11 – Rokad
ROKAD
Responsibility is not always an easy pill to swallow.
From the time we were young, I was responsible for my brothers.
And I failed them. Over and over again. The demon within Narath was too powerful, and he was too dangerous, and so he was enchanted to sleep.
Lucas was forced to guard the phoenix alongside me, even though I knew all along it was simply an excuse to keep us away from the sanctuary and the other gargoyles.
This time, I hoped things would be different.
I was wrong.
There was something about our night with Em that changed something within us all.
I’ve seen it in Lucas. I’ve seen it in Conley.
And in a different way, I’ve seen it in Narath.
Lucas and Conley seem less and less interested in hunting monsters.
They speak about creating a home. Any town they like they discuss how we might be able to live there.
Or that a cabin in the woods might make for a lovely place.
Narath talks incessantly about Em. He keeps a map on him now and marks off places that she’s not.
He asks any locals he comes across if they’ve seen her, giving them her unique description.
And when we finally find each monster we’re hunting, the fury he unleashes on our enemies is unlike anything I imagined. It’s beyond the chaos in the past.
I think he might end up hurting us all.
And yet, I don’t want to give up so soon.
I don’t want to return to the sanctuary and tell our grandfather that I failed again.
That one of my brothers has no desire to be a monster hunter, while the other is too dangerous to exist in this world.
Not only do I believe Conley will be imprisoned once more, but I believe we’ll all lose our freedom, one way or another.
“She has to be here.”
I glance over the fire to where Narath lies on his blanket, staring up at the stars. He doesn’t have his map out, but he doesn’t need to for us all to know who he’s thinking about.
“She hasn’t been at any of the other places,” Lucas says softly.
He lies near me and Conley. Lucas and I have silently made an agreement to watch over the phoenix more closely.
Narath’s rage is often unexpected, and we know who his first target will be.
Even though Narath still sees Conley as his enemy, there’s nothing left of that inside Lucas and me.
To us, he’s as much of a brother as Narath is.
“But this place has had a lot of attention in the media. Too many buildings are being burned to the ground, and people going missing, for this to be anything but supernatural. This isn’t an arsonist. This will bring her, I know it will.”
“And what then?” Conley asks. “She ran from us last time.”
“Because she didn’t know us well and we spooked her,” Narath snarls.
I sit up, watching my brother. Will this be the time he attacks the phoenix? Narath has begun to swell and his eyes flash with rage.
And then, Lucas says, “Maybe you’re right.”
Narath’s anger fades away. “You think so?”
Lucas nods, hands behind his head, looking casual, even though I can sense the tension in his body. “She’s hunting monsters, the same as us. We’re bound to run into her eventually. And this time, we should try to take it slower. We should try to show her who we are and what we could have together.”
“And what’s that?” Conley asks.
I wonder the same thing, but Conley was brave to ask. Anything he says lately seems to get under Narath’s skin, but the topic of Em especially.
“Well,” Narath draws the word out. “We could have…everything with her.”
“Everything?” I ask, feeling confused.
Narath sits up, his big body highlighted by the angry flames.
“Em calms that side of myself that scares even me. She draws us together, all of us, in a way I never thought possible. Why couldn’t we have happiness with her?
Maybe we’ll never have children, but we don’t need children to have a family. ”
“You want a family?” Conley asks softly. “With me?”
Narath studies him for a long moment. “I know how I am.” His words drop like stones between us.
“But what you don’t know is how much I hold back.
The anger within me is all-consuming. The need for violence and anger is like the need for breath.
I know that my past and my love for my brothers keeps me sane, but I think I could feel that same way about you, with her around. With her to calm the wrath within me.”
Lucas and I lock gazes. This is entirely unexpected.
I never thought there would be a world in which Narath would want Conley around.
And Narath never spoke about that uncontrollable side within himself.
It feels like we’re having some kind of major breakthrough, and I don’t want to do anything to ruin it.
I see my brother open his mouth, and I shake my head. Lucas is many things, but a peacemaker he’s not.
“Maybe…that could work,” I say. “If she wants that.”
Now all the looks of disbelief are trained on me.
“What?” I ask, shifting uncomfortably.
“It’s just…” Lucas scratches the scruff a beard he hasn’t yet shaved off. “It seems like your only goal is to hunt monsters and make dear old grandpa proud of us, even though we know that’ll never happen. Every time we talk about something more, you shut us down.”
I feel creases between my brows. “Do I?”
“Yes,” they all say at once.
Shit. “I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to find a way to keep us all together. For things not to go wrong again.” The last word cracks, and I don’t know what else to say.
“Our success or failure isn’t all on your shoulders.” Lucas says each word carefully, more serious than I’ve ever seen him before.
I try to laugh. “It feels like it sometimes.”
Conley shakes his head. “That’s just your personality, but we’re all here with you, trying to make this thing work.”
I release a breath I never knew I was holding. “Okay. Well, let’s find the monster in this town and keep an eye out for Em. If she doesn’t show up, we’ll actively search for her, and I’m sure we’ll find her. Then, we can see if she’d be interested in exploring something more than we already have.”
Narath smiles, a real smile, and it makes a lump form in the back of my throat. He never smiles.
Conley pulls the little watch from one of the pouches on his belt. “It’s late enough. I think it’s time to go look for this fire creature.”
He’s right. The fires all happen around midnight, and I have a feeling we’re getting close to that time.
So, we all stand up, reroll our blankets, and tie them to our backpacks. When Conley puts out the fire, the night feels strangely dark and far too quiet.
“We split up to cover the most ground. If you see the fire, focus on the person who is lighting it. Follow them. The other people will see the smoke at some point and follow.”
“Got it,” everyone says.
I shift into my stone form and launch into the sky. We’d already mapped out the most likely places the person would strike next, and where each of us should stand guard. I only hope that whatever happens with the monster, we find Em tonight.
My brothers and Conley have hope for the first time in longer than I can remember. I’ll do anything to keep it from being dashed away.