Chapter 15 – Narath
NARATH
Ican’t do anything right with Em. The more I try to protect her, the more I try to show her that I can be something good in her life, that I can keep her and the baby safe, the angrier she seems to get with me.
Some dark voice in my mind says that if I just kill Conley, she can love me.
That she’ll stop being angry with me. But every time the voice comes, I remember the look on her face when I attacked Conley.
If I hurt him again, I think she will never allow me around her or our baby, and I’d sooner die than that.
She tries to stand from the chair she’s in, and I’m on my feet in an instant, helping her up. Lifting a brow, she gives me that look that says I’ve done the wrong thing again. “I can stand.”
I nod and let my hands fall to my side. We’re in our fourth city with reports of more than an average number of missing people.
Our first one, we found a twisted human who was collecting children.
I managed to kill him while keeping Em far from the bastard.
The next two towns we found minor monsters that had escaped from the Underworld.
All of us worked together to kill them, and to protect Em the best we could without pissing her off.
This city we’ve been keeping an eye on for two days, but no one has gone missing since we got here, and I can tell Em is getting restless. I don’t tell her, but I hope we never find Ceuthonymus. He’s far too dangerous to be around my beloved.
“You’re doing it again,” Em says with a sigh.
I jerk. “What?”
“Staring.”
Was I staring? My gaze caresses her tiny frame. Her eyes are the color of molten lava. Her hair has such exquisite colors that I can’t believe they actually exist. And her face, with her arched brows, full lips, and perfect cheekbones… Who wouldn’t stare?
My gaze drops to her little belly. My baby, our baby, is in this incredible woman.
I should stare because she’s miraculous.
“Narath!” Uh oh, she sounds annoyed.
“Yes?”
“The. Staring.”
“Who?” My eyes narrow, and I glance around us. If someone is staring at my woman, I’ll kill them.
“I mean you. You’re staring at me. Why?”
My anger falls away. “Oh, me? I…you’re just so beautiful. You and our baby.”
Her cheeks turn red. “You can be strange, Narath.”
“Yes, I can be.”
She shakes her head and starts to walk down the sidewalk.
It’s evening in this little town, and I’ve been assigned Em.
When she said she was craving tea and donuts, I’d torn the town apart trying to find a place that served both until we found this one.
I’d watched her devour two donuts and slam a tea.
It had made me feel so proud to have given her what she needed, but now she appears to be refocused on finding a lead to this monster.
Even though she’s slowed down a bit and has a slight waddle that I love.
As she’s walking on the sidewalk, a man with a cellphone bumps her shoulder. She lets out a little gasp, and my hand is around his throat before I know what I’m doing. “You knocked into my woman,” I growl.
The man’s eyes widen. “Uh, sorry.”
“Tell her sorry.”
He swallows, I feel it beneath my hand, and his gaze goes to Em. “Sorry.”
Before Em, I would have killed him anyway.
Human or not, no one should ever be allowed to hurt my woman and child and live.
But very slowly I release his throat, then snag his phone and crumble it in my hand until it’s nothing but pieces.
Holding my hand over a trashcan, I let the pieces tumble inside.
“Next time, watch where you’re going.”
He doesn’t say a word, just turns and runs.
I look back at Em’s shocked expression and wince. She’s going to think I’m dangerous around the baby again. “I wanted to kill him, but I didn’t. For you. I’d do anything for you and our baby. I’ll never kill again, if you want.”
To my surprise, she gives me a little smile. “I won’t say you can never kill again. Maybe not humans though, okay? Unless they have dark souls.”
She puts a hand on my arm and tugs me along.
And, I follow her. I would follow her into hell and back. Her little hand on my arm feels like the best thing in this world.
I place my hand over hers, and my heart swells when she doesn’t pull away.
This is the progress Rokad told me about.
He said if I was just patient, that Em would see my good heart.
I wasn’t sure. The dark voice within me said I should go back to sleep and not bother them with my existence.
That I should let the phoenix join the Brotherhood and replace me. But this moment makes it all worth it.
“This way,” she says.
She tugs me down an alley. I don’t even realize where we’re going until the shadows of the roofs above us cloud out the grey light of the setting sun.
My instincts kick in, and I hold her hand a little tighter, studying the shadows, but she just keeps pulling me along, deeper into the city, weaving through the alleys between buildings.
“The missing people seem to have been taken from alleys,” she explains, as if I don’t remember. My brothers are currently wandering through alleys, trying to look like prey. “If we’re going to find him, it’ll be in one of them.”
Which is why I want to keep her out of them. She should be safely back on the brightly lit roads.
“I thought you said you’ve been craving pizza. I saw a place just a couple of streets down…”
She seems to consider my words for a second, then shakes her head. “No. We need to stay focused.” Then she shrugs. “Besides, we can always have pizza after the monster is killed.”
Night hits, and the streetlamps on the main roads grow brighter, but we still weave off the main roads, finding alley after alley.
And even though I don’t say it to Em, I don’t want to be here.
I want her safely back at the hotel. No, safely back at the cabin.
The dark part of me seems to creep back up when I think she’s in danger, and I feel like taking my most precious thing through dark alleys as bait for a monster is the opposite of protecting her.
My demon half claws inside of me. Kill. Blood. Death. Protect. But I grind my teeth together and push the thoughts aside. If I lose control, she will hate me.
“He has to be here,” I hear her whisper under her breath.
I hesitate, then say the words I’ve been afraid to say, “How do we even know he’ll try to hurt you and the baby one day? What if we’re all doing this for nothing?”
She whirls around, and her eyes glow golden in the darkness. “I won’t take any risk with my child.”
“You’re putting your child at risk now.”
She slaps me. Hard.
I look back at her.
She stares at me like she surprised herself. “I’m not. I’m sorry. I just…I know my strengths and limitations. I wouldn’t be here now if I thought my baby could be hurt.”
I wish I had as much confidence in her and myself. “Okay.”
“I’m sorry,” she repeats, and then her hand caresses my face.
I lean into her touch. “Forgiven.”
“My demon half is hard to control sometimes too,” she whispers.
And then, her lips find mine. Lust rolls through my body, and I’m suddenly kissing her back with all the passion that’s been screaming to get out.
She moans against my lips as I thrust my tongue into her mouth.
This woman may have been the one to teach me how to kiss, but I will make sure she never feels that I’m not her equal.
Her hips press against me, and her body rubs gently against my erection.
I swear my demon side goes completely silent. The anger and rage I feel like a constant part of myself are gone. I’m like a cat being pet, so content and happy that nothing exists outside of this moment.
And then, I sense someone near me. I react, shoving Em a little, but the man is too fast. The blade in his hand slashes Em, catching her arm rather than her chest, where he was aiming.
His eyes widen, and I attack. I’m distantly aware that he’s lodged his dagger into my shoulder. I hear him screaming about Ceuthonymus, blaming him for this, saying he told him to do it. But I don’t stop or slow. My fists just keep slamming into him until the alley grows silent.
“Narath,” she says in a breathless way.
It draws me back from the dark edge, and I look up to see Em staring at me, even though I can’t read her face. “He’s dead. Now we just need to remove his head and destroy the evidence.”
I give a sharp nod, yank the dagger out of my shoulder, and use it to saw off his head. Then, I sprinkle the black powder from my belt onto his body and toss a match. He goes up in a puff of smoke, all evidence of his existence disappearing.
When I turn back to Em, I see she’s bound the bleeding wound on her shoulder.
I see red.
Motion above me draws my attention before Rokad, Conley, and Lucas land in the alley.
“You found him?” Rokad asks, but the note to his voice says that he knows we couldn’t have killed Ceuthonymus so easily.
I can’t seem to speak. I can’t seem to form any words. My gaze goes back to my pregnant woman and the wound on her arm.
“It was a minor monster,” Em says, “but he knew Ceuthonymus, and it sounds as if that big, bad asshole has told others to come after me.”
A growl slips from my lips, and everyone turns to look at me.
Something inside of me snaps. “Gargoyle babies are rare and treasured! Our mates are rare and treasured. There’s no fucking way Em is going on these hunts any longer. They’re too dangerous!”
“You don’t tell me what to do,” Em says, glaring.
I take a step closer to her, hands balled into fists so I don’t reach out and touch her. “This is no longer a conversation or a debate. We will fly you back to that cabin and leave you there, safe.”
Her mouth draws into a thin line. “Actually, this is the end of our discussion. I’ve always been fine hunting monsters on my own. And you know what? I think I’ll go back to doing it on my own.” She spins on her heels and starts marching from the alley.
Panic flutters in my chest. “No! You can’t leave!”
“I can do whatever the hell I want!” she shouts, without looking back.
When she disappears around the corner, I launch after her, but Rokad and Lucas are suddenly in my path. “Move,” I order them.
Rokad shakes his head. “If you keep this up, she’ll walk away from us all together and we’ll lose her.”
“Never,” I say.
But my brother’s expression simply hardens.
“Narath, you have to get control of yourself. You have to fight your instincts to protect her like a possession, rather than a person. We won’t let you risk our relationship with her.
Because whatever you do, or however she feels about you, we’re staying close to her and our child. ”
The implications of his words surprise me. If I can’t gain control, they’re willing to leave me behind. They’re willing to cut me out like a cancer and leave me without my mate, my child, or my Brotherhood.
“Think about it,” Lucas says more gently.
And then, Lucas and Rokad take off after our mate.
Conley lingers an extra moment. He opens his mouth, closes it, brows drawing together, then turns and follows my brothers.
My heart aches, and I stagger, touching my bloody shoulder. Somehow the wound is nothing compared to the wound in my soul. Em brings me peace. She makes me feel like a real person, not controlled by the demon within me.
But what if my own actions push her away? What if I end up alone, or I ruin this for my brothers and I?
And then, it hits me, and I want to curl up into a ball and cease to exist. My brothers.
They gave up everything for me, over and over again.
Trying to control me and my demon cost them so many things.
They were lumped in along with me and forced to live outside the sanctuary, away from the other gargoyles.
They didn’t have chances to make other friends, or to meet a mate, all because of me.
Will I ruin this for them too?
I can’t. No matter the cost.
Turning, I choose a direction and start flying.