Monster’s Madness (Blackthorn Academy for Supernaturals #15)

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

My earliest memory was of a conversation between my parents.

My dad was upset because he couldn’t sense my leopard at all, so my mom was explaining that I was already too powerful a witch, even at that age, for nature to also burden me with a beast.

“Controlling an elemental magic as strong as hers will be challenging enough as it is,” she’d said. “Imagine how much harder it would be for Mikaela if she had to learn to control a leopard like yours at the same time.”

Somehow, from that conversation, I became convinced that my leopard was just waiting for me to gain control of my fire witch powers, and that once I did, she would finally come to me.

This was why I spent the majority of my childhood studying and working hard to gain control of my magic. More than anything, I wanted to make my dad happy, to see the pride on his face when he saw my leopard for the very first time.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t already proud of me. He was. It’s just that he’d always expected to mate another leopard and had imagined running in leopard form with her up until the moment they’d met and she’d turned out to be a witch. So, he’d adjusted his expectations, anticipating running with his children instead, except they only ever had me and I was not a leopard either.

To change that, I’d thrown myself into my studies, reading everything I could get my hands on about fire and magic and the history of fire witches.

Whether I’d have managed to gain control of my magic so early without that motivation is anyone’s guess, but I had that control by the time I was nine. When my leopard didn’t manifest, I convinced myself it was because my powers weren’t done growing yet.

What can I say? I was an optimistic child.

When my powers surged with puberty, testing the limits of my control, I knew I’d been right. Surely, if I mastered these new powers, my leopard would finally come to me.

So, I studied even harder, tackling every new challenge like my life depended on it, and within a few short years, had full control once more.

But still, my leopard didn’t manifest.

This was when I finally had to face the truth.

Up to that point, I’d truly believed my leopard was somewhere inside me, just buried deep, and one day, my ability to control my fire would unlock the cage imprisoning her and I’d finally be able to shift.

Now I had to accept that she simply didn’t exist. That the cage I’d always imagined at the center of my being was nothing more than a hole where my leopard should be. I had to accept that it was exactly as my mother had always claimed—that I had no leopard because my fire powers were too strong.

By the time I went to Blackthorn Academy for Supernaturals at age nineteen, I’d not only accepted it, I’d learned to embrace what I actually was—a truly powerful, fire witch—and to let go of what I wasn’t.

Then, at the end of my second year at the Academy, a serial killer named Lydrel Zowen attacked me.

He yanked me into the Shadow Realm and held me prisoner there, wrapped in darkness for what seemed an eon, but was apparently less than a quarter of an hour.

Those endless moments changed me forever, dragging my leopard from me in a storm of darkness and frozen flames .

She was born in agony, in the Shadow Realm, where she came roaring to life, raking and clawing, maddened from the pain.

I had no idea whether the shadows had simply unlocked the cage I’d always imagined imprisoned her or if she’d never been there at all and the shadows had created her.

Whether she was a true shifter, made of flesh and bone, or a shadow-creature, made entirely of shadows, or something in between, didn’t really matter, for the result was the same.

I’d waited, it seemed, my entire life for my leopard to come to me, and now that she had, I was terrified of her.

Terrified of what I’d become.

And I wasn’t the only one who was afraid.

I’d been transported home from Blackthorn Academy, unconscious, unable to finish my second year, and had spent nearly two months in a coma, my inner light smothered in shadows.

When I finally fought my way free and opened my eyes, my parents were so relieved, they both wept. Within days, though, that relief turned to dread and fear as it became clear that I’d come back immeasurably different.

It’d be easy to blame everything on my leopard, to blame the rage and the monster writhing within on the beast the shadows had dragged from me, but it wouldn’t be true.

The shadows had done more than just wake my leopard. They’d also changed the essence of who I was—both the witch and her magic—in fundamental ways.

The flames at my core now had ice along the edges and crackled with a searing darkness.

It took everything in me to control the flames, to not set fire to the world in my rage.

It was because of this rage that my parents allowed me to return to Blackthorn Academy for my third year. They knew, as I did, that I needed what the Academy could teach me, now more than ever.

Control.

Power.

Knowledge.

My parents were certain the professors at Blackthorn could help me gain control of my beast.

I was certain the students could.

Specifically, one of my suite mates, Kasima Smith.

Kasi was the last surviving shadow-beast in the world. Even better, she had a shadow-cat familiar, so I knew if anyone could teach me about the shadows writhing at my core, that twined around my leopard, it would be Kasi.

Even better, Kasi, more than any other person I knew, would understand the sheer rage that boiled inside me.

Kasi’s entire species had been blamed for the actions of Zowen, who it turned out, wasn’t even a shadow-beast at all, though he’d been mated to one and in the aftermath of her death, had gone insane.

He’d become a serial killer, wreaking havoc through the known realms, but had also, behind the scenes, manipulated the ones in power and orchestrated the genocide of shadow-beasts everywhere.

Somehow, though, two hundred years later, Kasi was born, and a couple decades after that, Lydrel Zowen returned.

Suddenly, where before there had been none left to walk the shadows, now there were five of us.

Kasi and her familiar, Shadow.

Kasi’s mate, Jahrdran, who’d gained access to the shadows through their mating.

Zowen, who by all rights, should be long-dead.

And me.

I had nightmares about being dragged back into the shadows, about Zowen coming for me. I dreamed I could hear his voice, whispering in the darkness, promising his shadows were on their way.

Sometimes I dreamed that I, too, was nothing but shadows, without form or substance, just wandering the world as a wraith.

And sometimes, even when awake, I imagined my body was dissolving into shadows, my hands turning wispy gray, my feet disappearing as the shadows climbed my form.

Those visions terrified me.

I feared the shadows had corrupted my leopard and me, that we would one day become something worse than even Lydrel Zowen.

This was why I’d insisted on coming back to Blackthorn Academy and why my parents had agreed.

Because if there were answers, if there was a way to stop the madness, I’d find it here.

So I’d spent the last few weeks of summer catching up on my school work and studying for exams. I returned to Blackthorn a full week early, so that I could sit for those exams.

It made for a stressful start of the year, but since I’d just received word that I’d passed to the third year, I suppose it was worth it.

“Mikaela!” Jasmine squealed as she barreled from the bathroom that separated her room from mine. “You’re here, you’re here!” She threw her arms around me and hugged me tight. “I was so worried about you.”

I hugged her back, tears burning in my eyes.

I hadn’t realized until that moment how much I’d missed my best friend.

We’d been suite mates since our first year at Blackthorn when we’d bonded over our strange roommate situations.

Jasmine was rooming with Kasi, who never socialized, mostly because at the time, she’d been trying to keep her status as a shadow-beast a secret. Meanwhile, my roommate, Leslie, kept clothes and other things in our room, but she mostly stayed with her boyfriend.

Or so she said.

It had taken me almost the entirety of my first year at the Academy to realize that the second floor, where she claimed to be staying with her boyfriend, was nothing but classrooms .

In other words, I had no idea where Leslie was really staying.

She’d show up every once in a while to grab more clothes and leave more stuff behind before disappearing again.

I suppose I wasn’t a very good roommate since I honestly didn’t care enough to question her, mostly because I didn’t want to find out she was sleeping with one of our professors, especially if it was happening in one of our classrooms.

So I just ignored the entire situation. Besides, I liked having the room to myself.

With Kasi spending most of her time in the Shadow Realm, Jasmine and I used to joke that if she and I had been assigned the same room, the other half of our suite would have been empty.

“So how are you, really?” Jasmine asked.

I shrugged, not wanting to admit what I was thinking: that between the struggle to control my leopard, not to mention my powers, and the fear of Zowen returning, life pretty much sucked.

“That good, huh?” Jasmine asked. “Well, come on, then.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me through the bathroom into her room.

Kasi was sprawled across her bed, but bolted to her feet the minute she saw me. “Mikaela! I’m so happy you’re here. I know you told us you were coming back, but, well?—”

I’d spoken to both Kasi and Jasmine numerous times since waking and had confided in them about all the struggles at home, so I knew exactly what she was thinking.

“You were worried my parents would change their mind,” I said.

She nodded.

Technically, since I was an adult, it wasn’t really up to my parents, but since they were so traumatized by everything that had happened, I really didn’t have the heart to return without their approval.

“They were afraid to send me back, but honestly, I think they were more afraid to have me stay.”

A knock on the door prevented me from oversharing about how my parents had both cried when saying goodbye, but when I’d glanced back for one last look, all I’d seen on their faces was profound relief.

Kasi opened the door to Jahrdran, who immediately pulled her into his arms.

Jasmine rolled her eyes at me as the two of them began heating up the room.

Seriously.

Kasi practically climbed him like a pole.

Jasmine cleared her throat. “Um, hello? Didn’t you guys spend most of the summer together? What the hell?”

“Not the last ten days,” Kasi said as she pulled away from Jahrdran.

“Longest ten days of my life,” Jahrdran rumbled and kissed her again.

Damn. “Maybe we should—you know,” I gestured to my room.

Jasmine let out a huff. “We’re supposed to go to dinner together. Hello? You guys?”

“Maybe they’ll join us tomorrow.” I hooked arms with Jasmine and dragged her through the bathroom back into my room, closing both doors between the two rooms along the way. “If they’re still going at it when we get back, you can hang out in here. I don’t know if Leslie plans to continue pretending to room with me this year or not.”

Jasmine snorted. “Of course, she does. If mated pairs can’t room together officially, she’s definitely out of luck with her so-called boyfriend. She’ll show up eventually, I’m sure.”

“Well, she was listed as my roommate again, so you’re probably right.”

“Come on. Let’s head down to the cafeteria.”

“Mikaela, you’re back! ”

My leopard let out a low growl, clearly as tired of this greeting as I was. We’d been receiving variations of it since Jasmine and I left our rooms.

All the way down three flights of stairs, through the hallways and into the cafeteria, people had stopped us to talk.

Some had just wanted to express their happiness that I was back.

Most, however, had wanted to share what had happened in the aftermath of my attack.

I already knew, of course.

I’d heard the entire story from Kasi, how Zowen had returned to the Academy after she’d rescued me and how he’d tossed students and professors into the Shadow Realm at terrifying speeds.

It was Kasi who had rescued our classmates and professors from the Shadow Realm. Then, she and Jahrdran had fought Zowen and forced him to retreat.

“Well, maybe not forced,” she’d said. “I honestly don’t know how we would have defeated him if he hadn’t retreated. How do you cage someone who can just escape into the shadows?”

So, I already knew the entire story, including the terrifying fact that he could return and we had no way to fight him.

What I didn’t know, however, was where each individual student had been during the confrontation. I didn’t know which students had been pulled into the Shadow Realm and which ones had been safe in their rooms or outside.

These were the stories the students wanted to tell me now.

Whether they were at ground zero and dragged into the shadows, kicking and screaming, or were hiding somewhere else in the castle, or were outside in the forbidden, enchanted forest that somehow, on that day, became less dangerous than the Academy’s main foyer, they all wanted to share their story, no doubt in the hopes that I would share mine.

Jasmine, though, kept us moving, cutting those conversations off as quickly as she could and eventually, we made it to the cafeteria and through the lines.

Unfortunately, sitting down to eat didn’t stop the madness.

Instead, it appeared to invite that madness to have lunch with us.

“It’s so great to see you, Mikaela,” a student named Tasha said as she settled at our table with two of her friends.

I nodded, but before I could respond, four more students sat down, one of them directly to my left.

I grit my teeth and edged closer to Jasmine as my leopard came roaring to the surface with an agitated growl.

This time, I didn’t manage to contain the sound and when it rumbled from my human throat, Tasha, who was sitting directly across from me, and the two students on either side of her, jumped and stared at me, wide-eyed.

The student to my left shifted one seat down.

Huh.

I was starting to appreciate the power of a good growl.

“Wow,” Tasha said. “I heard your leopard finally made an appearance, but I didn’t really believe it until now. You must be so happy, Mikaela.”

One of the other students nodded vigorously. “I’ve never heard of a shifter transitioning so late before.”

I grit my teeth and tried not to scream as they continued talking excitedly about my leopard as if I’d somehow been gifted a miracle.

It was funny how when I was younger, I would have thought exactly the same, but my leopard and I weren’t exactly getting along. She wanted nothing to do with me, only crouched and growled anytime I tried to approach her in my mind, and my magic felt dangerous, as if at any moment, it might burst free and I wouldn’t be able to control it .

I hadn’t even felt this out of control when I was a toddler, first learning about my magic.

It turned out my mom was right all along. A witch as powerful as me should never have been cursed with a beast.

My leopard let out an even louder growl.

“What’s wrong?” Jasmine asked.

“I have no idea. She’s cranky. She’s always cranky.”

“Maybe she’s just hangry,” Jasmine suggested.

“Yo, Markus!” A wolf shifter I recognized from one of my classes last year barreled over, slapped the back of the student who’d moved down a chair, and settled into the seat he’d abandoned.

“Mikaela,” he rumbled, turning toward me. “You smell different.” He set one hand on my thigh while leaning in to sniff my neck.

“Back off, Taggart,” I rumbled, distracted by my leopard, who let out a soft whimper, the kind she usually only made when we dreamed of shadows.

“Ah, don’t be like that, pussy-ca?—”

I didn’t know I was going to do it until it happened.

One moment I was irritated as hell, the next, my hand was on his throat, claws pricking the skin.

Claws.

I stood, dragging him from the chair.

He struggled to get his feet under him as I leaned up and hissed—literally, hissed— in his face.

I wasn’t in control anymore, not full control anyway .

I was angry at his nerve and lack of respect for the concept of consent, but more? I was pissed that he’d scared my leopard.

In that moment, realizing my leopard had crawled into a corner in my mind and was hiding there, I wanted to burn him to ash. I wrestled for control and hissed at him, “ My body. My table. My territory. Find somewhere else to sit.” Then, I tossed him across the room.