Chapter 2
Lena
I turn around toward the entrance to find Cami and Theo settled around a medium-sized flat rock in the sun, starting the preliminary sketches of this first entrance. I have a sudden need to break away from the group. Confronting Martin has left me shaky and nauseous.
“Hey, great job, you two, this looks amazing already!” I exclaim. I hear Martin huffing along behind me, almost to the rock as well. “Let’s see what we have here.”
Martin crowds me away from the rock, peering at the map over the rims of his glasses. “Hmm…”
I keep my eyes steady on the map, already knowing that he is going to have something critical to say, and I'm not sure if I can stand here and not blow up at him in front of Cami and Theo. Instead, I plaster a smile on my face.
“Dr. Kessler, why don’t you check their work, and I’m going to just walk around the other side and get a sense of the size we’re looking at here. Don’t worry, I won’t go in!” I flash him a hint of a wink.
He gives me a cursory glance before turning back to the sketches. “Yes, fine. I would surely hope you wouldn’t go in after your big speech on safety.” He chuckles to himself.
Cami and Theo just stare at him. Cami gives me a pleading look, clearly not thrilled at being stuck behind with Martin, but I motion to her that I’ll be right back. Immediately, as I walk away, I begin to feel better, my heart rate returning to something akin to normal.
But my thoughts are a jumble, replaying all the moments of Martin pushing my buttons, and before I know what I’m doing, I am crashing through the woods like a wounded buffalo, not caring where I place my feet.
My hair is starting to come undone from my braid, strands sticking to my sweaty neck and the sides of my face.
I blow them away impatiently, looking up as I do so.
A flash of light to my left catches my eye, and looking around, I realize I am almost to the far side of the cave where the seam meets a mountainside. Another blue flash comes from a dark area that I wouldn’t have noticed earlier.
“Another entrance!” I whisper to myself. I look around to see if anyone from my team followed me, but the faint sounds of their voices reach me, and I know they are still working on the original sketches of the first entrance.
The rocks here form larger boulders with rough surfaces, making me think of volcanoes, which is odd considering where we are.
Every step makes me stumble, and I have to analyze each step before I put my full weight onto the rock.
The last thing I need is to twist my ankle and have to deal with Martin’s smug reaction.
After several minutes of careful maneuvering, I finally make it to the mouth of the cave, which turns out to be a lot bigger than I first realized.
A slow, pulsating neon blue light shines from the depths of a still pool of inky black water.
The air is wet with condensation, and I look around to see where the light source might be coming from.
There is a whisper in the air that brushes along the back of my neck, making the hairs stand on end.
“Dr. Vance!”
Cami’s call makes me turn around so fast I feel my back crack. I stumble against the mouth of the cave, scratching my palms against it. “Ouch!” I look at my hand to see tiny drops of blood seeping through the scratches. I sigh to myself. “Great, just what I need.”
“Dr. Vance?” Cami calls out for me again.
“I’m here, just a sec!” I call back. I come out from around the mouth of the cave into the sunlight to see Cami trying to negotiate the outer edges of the boulders.
“Cami, stay there. This terrain is too rough. I almost twisted my own ankle.” I hold out my hand, indicating she should stay where she is. I give one last glance behind me to the water, which is still and black, no light to be found.
“You weren’t going to go in there alone, were you?” Cami asks anxiously once I’m by her side and walking back toward the main cave entrance.
I shake my head. “No, of course not, just peeked my head inside to see how deep it was. Seems like it’s another pool of water, but there’s no way to tell without getting some light in there.” I look sideways at her to see her eyes roving across the trees and the sky.
“You okay?” I ask.
“I feel like I hear whispering all the time over here. Do you hear it?”
We stand still for a moment, and my mind goes back to the whisper across my neck in the cave. I shake it off. “It's probably just the wind playing tricks on us.” I smile, in the hope of easing her anxiety.
“Yeah, you’re probably right. Um-” Cami hesitates. “Are we- we’re going to set up the lights using proper protocol like we always do right, not just go in there blind?”
“Yes, of course.” I stop to look at Cami and see her forehead is lined with worry.
“Okay, because Dr. Kessler just seemed like he wanted to jump right in today, and I was kinda freaking out there for a second.”
Frustration blooms in my chest. I take care to keep my voice measured as I respond. “I understand. Tomorrow we’re going to bring all the necessary equipment to ensure we explore safely, just like we always do.”
Cami blows out a deep breath that she must have been holding and flashes me a smile. “Great, that’s really good to hear.”
???
I CRANK THE AIR conditioning in my room and flop on the bed, letting the icy air wash over my body.
I’m lying on the bed in my underwear, having stripped everything off the moment my feet crossed the threshold, relishing in the quiet and being alone.
Moments and flashes of the day come back to me, and bubbling to the surface is my frustration with Martin.
I wouldn’t care if he had an issue with me; I’ve dealt with that my entire career, but to make it so public in front of Cami and Theo, to put us all in jeopardy just so that he can be “right” is so selfish.
The room is almost too cold now, but I lie there some more, closing my eyes and listening to the whir of the fan lull me into relaxation. It’ll be okay. I will deal with it tomorrow.
There is only one thing I can do to reduce my stress right now, so I reach into the nightstand and retrieve my pocket vibrator. I went back and forth on even bringing it, petrified that it’d get found during airport security, but now I’m glad I brought it.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I focus on my body, letting my hands roam, first over my nipples, already taut from the cold air, then my neck, and finally grazing my stomach.
It’s been so long since I was last with anyone that it’s hard for my imagination to even conjure someone to think about.
Most of my relationships crash and burn due to me moving around so much or just general incompatibility.
I press on, determined to relax. Switching on the vibrator, I trail it up one thigh and down the other, teasing myself, withholding that final sensation. The heat is building, and the room no longer feels freezing.
Just as my mind starts to focus on my pleasure, my phone pings. With a frustrated growl, I turn off the vibrator and pick up my phone.
Dr. Vance, did you tell Dr. Kessler to review our maps with the City Board of Directors? - C
I sit up reading her words, the screen glowing in the gloom of my room. Son of a bitch!
Hi, no, I didn’t realize he would be talking with them today. I’ll come down. - L
Ah, well, it looks like they already shook hands and left. Sorry, I just came down to grab some water and saw them in one of the small conference rooms. - C
It’s okay, thanks for keeping me in the loop. -L
I flop back down on the bed. The pressure is building behind my eyes and in my throat, and before I can stop it, the flood of tears is leaking down the sides of my face, into my ears.
It’s Day One, literally day fucking one!
I crawl off the bed, hiccuping as I go, deciding that the next best thing I can do for myself right now is take the longest, hottest shower I can stand and then tuck myself into bed.
I bet he’s not even going to mention it when I see him tomorrow.
I let the hot water spray me directly in the face, thoughts whirling, the hotter the water gets.
Floating to the top of the general disappointment this day turned out to be is the mysterious blue light shining from the side entrance of the cave.
I hold that memory in my heart, something protected that Martin isn’t going to know about unless I have to tell him.