Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
“No,” Ryan echoed my protest.
Panic flared in Bee’s eyes, pure and primal, and then she shut it down, her expression becoming composed and serene.
“Bee…” I grabbed her hand. “No.”
“It’s going to be okay.” She leaned in and hugged me tight. “We’re going to be okay.” Her voice trembled.
“But—”
“Don’t.” She pulled back and gave me a hard glare. “Please. Don’t.” She blinked hard, and I knew she was forcing back tears.
I pressed my lips together to hold back a tide of protests.
She smiled and nodded once. “See you on the other side.” She backed up, turned away, and walked into the crowd.
My resolve crumbled. “Bee…” I made to follow, but someone grabbed my arm. I looked down at the huge hand, then up at Bastian. He kept his eyes on the plinth so all I got was his profile, but the tic in his jaw told me he was feeling every bit of the turmoil I was. “Bastian, let me go.”
“No.”
I tugged to be free. “We have to stop this. We have to do something.”
“There’s nothing we can do,” Ryan said. “Nothing.” His tone was flat and empty.
All the fight drained from me because bravado was useless here.
A bubble of darkness swelled in my chest and a sob broke from my throat. I stopped fighting Bastian and his grip loosened, but he didn’t release me.
“Say goodbye,” he said. “Look at her and say goodbye.”
I raised my chin to lock onto my best friend’s figure as she climbed the plinth. She looked so tiny, so fucking small up against the monolith here to claim her.
She stopped close to the top and turned back to the crowd, eyes searching. Searching for me.
My eyes burned, chest aching with suppressed tears. I raised my hands and she zeroed in on me. Our gazes locked, our connection, built over years of familiarity and love, flaring like a beacon.
“I love you.” My lips formed the words, hoping she’d see them… feel them.
She dipped her chin, then turned away and continued to the top of the plinth.
The celestial looked down at her, and Bee, my beautiful, courageous Bee, stepped up and put her arms around his waist. His wings snapped free of his back, flaring to catch the air. He put his arm around my friend and shot up into the sky like a comet.
I watched until they were a dot in the inky black, then for a moment longer until the dot winked out, then I walked away.
I was done here.
Bee was gone.
They’d taken her to safety, and I should be happy for her but I couldn’t be. I couldn’t be happy because they’d taken my person from me.
I swiped at my tears and downed the shot of paint stripper—the homemade alcohol that circulated around the base. No one knew who brewed it, but everyone had a bottle, and the authorities let it slide.
I guess they knew that in a fucked-up world like ours there would be plenty of times when oblivion from a bottle might be required.
A knock on my door dragged me from my thoughts. “Go away.”
The door opened.
“Fucking hell. Fuck off, whoever it is.”
“Rue…”
I shook my head. “No, Jamie. You need to go. I’m not together right now and I can’t do the whole friends-only thing, okay.”
The sofa dipped beside me, and the weight of his arm settled on my shoulder. I shrugged to try and throw him off, but he held on and pulled me close, tucking me into his side and leaning back with me.
“Fuck you, Jamie.” I rested my cheek on his chest and closed my eyes, allowing more tears to fall.
“I know,” he said. “I know.”
I bit back a sob. “What am I gonna do without her, J?”
“You have me.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “No, I don’t.”
He sighed and dropped his chin onto my head. “Yeah, you do, Rue. Always.”
We sat like that for long moments and the ache in my chest dissipated a little. “Thank you. For coming to check on me.”
“I would have come sooner, but we had to do a sweep around the base.”
“Denizens?”
“Yeah, you know how the celestials’ glow attracts those fuckers.”
No one knew why, but the monsters were attracted to the celestials’ glow, even the ones who were repelled by sunlight.
Jamie kissed the top of my head. “Have you eaten?”
I nuzzled into him, surrendering to my need to be close. “No.”
He stroked my back. “Bastian has a few steaks. You want to come?”
I sighed. No, I wanted to stay here and lose myself in him. In the taste and scent of him. To just feel something, anything else but the loss of my best friend.
I sat up reluctantly. “Bastian has steak? I thought we ran out.”
Jamie smiled. “You know Bastian, he always puts a little aside. He froze the last couple of rations he had and he’s willing to share.”
I wasn’t that hungry, but anything was better than being alone in my quarters. “I can’t go uninvited.”
Jamie arched a brow. “He asked me to bring you.”
My brows flicked up in surprise. “He did?”
Bastian and I had hung out daily during my radio tower training, something all cadets were expected to complete. We’d become friends, but we hadn’t spoken much since I’d started seeing Jamie.
“He might not say it, Rue, but Bastian likes you.”
“Even though I broke your heart?”
Jamie swiped the pad of his thumb across my cheek to wipe away my tears.
“You haven’t broken my heart, Rue.” His gaze dropped to my mouth and my pulse sped up.
“I offered it to you and you gently turned it down.” He caressed my cheek with his thumb.
“You can’t force someone to fall in love with you.
It either happens or it doesn’t, and sometimes people come along who claim your heart without ever realizing it. ”
In that moment I wanted to kiss him so bad, to climb onto his lap and lose myself in him, but that would be unfair to him, it would send the wrong message, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him again.
I dropped my gaze with a wry smile. “You deserve better than me.”
“Maybe,” Jamie said. “But it’s slim pickings out there.”
I snort-laughed. “Fucker.”
“Better.” He stood and hauled me onto my feet. “Go wash your face and let’s eat.”