Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Everyone had been fed and watered. It was time to move. My gaze traveled to Sarq kneeling over my father’s unconscious form. Jamie joined them, crouching and listening as Sarq spoke to him. They both looked my way.
My pulse quickened. I knew that look.
Pity.
I looked away as if it would stop Bastian from approaching me and telling me what I already knew but didn’t want to accept.
“Rue—”
I breathed through my nose and glared up at him with burning eyes. “Don’t say it.”
“You need to say goodbye,” Jamie said.
I swallowed against the lump rising in my throat. “No. He’ll make it.”
“No, he won’t. He’s dying, Rue. He’s dying now. We won’t be taking him with us.”
I sucked in a breath, blinking against the hot sting of tears. “No. We can’t just…can’t just…” My throat pinched, cutting off my words.
“Leave him here?” Jamie’s jaw tightened. “We have to. We’ll bury him.”
Oh, God. Dark dots danced in my vision, and I doubled over, desperate for air.
“Breathe.” Jamie clamped a hand on my shoulder. “In and out. Breathe.”
I sucked in air, rage a tornado inside me. Fury at the circumstances, at my reaction. I had no right to lose my shit, not when I was telling everyone else to keep it together. Everyone here had lost someone.
I had no right to flake out.
Jamie pulled me up and into his arms and held me, anchoring me as I got my panic under control.
Long seconds passed and my breathing finally slowed to match the steady beat of his heart.
“You okay?” he asked.
I nodded even though I was far from okay. “I can do this.”
He released me and I crossed the field toward Sarq.
He sat back on his haunches as I approached, his stony face cut in lines of compassion.
“He doesn’t have long,” he said. “Only a few more breaths. The leg injury has poisoned his blood. There is nothing to be done to save him. It’s a blessing he’s unconscious; the pain would be excruciating otherwise.”
He didn’t have to say it for me to understand the message between his words. The message that I should have allowed them to end him a day and night ago. To spare him the pain of a slow death.
I should have found the pistol and given him the mercy I’d granted others.
I’d been selfish. So fucking selfish.
Even now, I couldn’t bring myself to look too hard at the swollen, puss-filled mess that was his leg.
“Do you think he can hear me?” I hated how my voice trembled. Hated the desperate hope in my tone.
“Yes,” Sarq said. “I believe he can. Speak your truth.” He stepped away, leaving me alone with my father and my overwhelming guilt.
Guilt at running away from this. Guilt at turning a blind eye to how badly injured he was.
I took his hand in mine, a hand that burned with the fever that raged inside him. “I’m sorry, Dad. I love you so much. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry…sorry I left you in pain for so long. I…It’s okay to go now. You can go. I’ll be okay. I’ll be fine.”
This would be the moment he’d open his eyes and tell me he loved me. This would be the moment we’d get to say goodbye, but that was wishful thinking. Those were the beautiful deaths found on screen or on paper. I wasn’t going to get that kind of closure.
All I got was a long exhale.
The final exhale as the essence that made him who he was left his body.
“He’s gone.” I bit back a sob and took a shuddering breath. “He’s at peace.” I glanced up at Sarq to see him looking off to one side. I followed his gaze to see a shimmer in the air. One blink and it was gone.
Jamie, Bastian, and Javier joined us.
“We’ll bury him now,” Bastian said.
I leaned in and kissed my father’s cheek. “Bye, Dad.”
I was now completely and truly alone.
There was no ceremony. No more goodbyes. We buried my dad and moved on. Daylight was wasting, and according to Sarq the next stop was an abandoned warehouse. A spot they’d cleared and used to bunk in when out hunting. There was one more stop to rest before we reached that warehouse.
The monsters kept us between them. Shem made up the lead, his forbidding form cutting shadows either side of him.
Sarq and Zaqiel flanked our troop. Sarq walked steadily, his head bowed, his granite profile in shadow, while Zaqiel moved up and down the line, as if restless, as if our pace was too slow for him.
Tumiel made up the rear, snarling and showcasing his lethal teeth to anyone who dared to fall behind.
Two more nights and we’d be at the golden city.
Two more nights and my people would be safe, but time to summon Michael was running out. My dad was dead. The main person I’d made the deal for was gone, and yes, I wanted to protect all these people, but I also needed to protect myself.
I couldn’t go with Shem and his crew. I wouldn’t be taken from my people. I belonged with them, with Michael. The thought of the celestial evoked a warm feeling in my veins. Hope, joy, and safety, a far cry from the terror and uncertainty Shem evoked. Michael was order whereas Shem was chaos.
I needed order now more than ever.
I needed peace.
“We have to do it at the next stop.” I glanced up at Jamie.
I didn’t have to explain what it was. He knew I was referring to the distraction we’d planned.
He nodded. “I’ll kick off with Bastian.”
Bastian, walking ahead of us, looked back with a nod, letting us know he was good to go.
“I’ll play mediator,” Javier said from behind us.
“I need to make sure I’m close to Tumiel at the time.”
“Agreed.”
We had a rough plan, but whether it worked or not would depend on the monsters’ reaction to our distraction.
We reached our next stop a couple of hours later.
The sun was beginning to dip, telling me it was mid-afternoon, and everyone looked exhausted.
The park that the monsters led us to was surrounded by overgrown grassland.
The ground within the fenced-off area was cracked cement with weeds pushing through.
The swing set was rusty and the slide had been pulled up out of the ground and lay on its side.
There was a roundabout that looked intact, and the three children in our party zeroed in on it, falling into play mode immediately and taking turns to push it.
“Play quietly,” Shem instructed, baring his teeth at the little ones.
They shrank from him, relaxing as soon as he retreated. They fell into whispers, organizing their game, deciding who would push first.
Zaqiel inched closer, looking for all intents and purposes like the monster he was, creeping up on the children.
They stopped playing and huddled together, more wary than afraid.
He faltered and bobbed his head a couple of times before speaking. “I can…I can push you if you like.”
The kids exchanged glances and then the eldest nodded. “All right.”
Zaqiel bridged the distance between them as the children climbed onto the roundabout.
“Hold tight,” he instructed. “How fast do you want to go?”
“Fast!” they cried.
“Shhh, we must play quietly.”
They nodded.
Zaqiel gripped the bar and began to jog. The roundabout began to turn.
“Faster!” the children cried.
He began to run, his dark hair whipping out behind him like an inky flag. In that moment, he looked joyful and carefree. In that moment, he didn’t look like a beast but a man enjoying the laughter of innocence.
The children held on, faces contorted in excitement.
“Zaq was always good with younglings,” Sarq said wistfully from beside me.
“Always?” I frowned up him. “What do you mean?”
The corner of his mouth lifted a fraction. “We’ve been around for a lot longer than humans realize. ‘Monster’ is a new name for us, though. One that we did nothing to earn.”
“So what were you called before?”
His throat bobbed, and his mouth worked for a moment as if he was about to say something, but then he pressed his lips together and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. All that matters is the now and the future.” He dropped his gaze to me. “Don’t fight us, Rue. Don’t run.”
My stomach quivered. “Where would I run to?”
He slow-blinked. “If you run, we will find you. We will hunt you and he will punish you.”
I believed him. If I ran, they’d catch me. But if Michael came for me, there’d be nothing they could do to stop him. These monsters wanted me, but they refused to tell me why. They refused to give me any answers, and I was done asking. Michael had promised me answers and sanctuary.
I’d be a fool not to take it.
A fool to stay with these creatures who offered nothing but uncertainty and confusion.
I forced my lips into a smile. “Message received loud and clear.”
“I hope so, not just for your sake but for us all.” He walked away, leaving me confused and unsure.