8. Sarah
The Ranch Visit
Sitting alone in the small, cluttered office tucked away in the corner of Beartooth Ranch, I find myself surrounded by stacks of inventory forms and scattered files.
The hum of the old computer mixed with the distant sounds of ranch life creates a backdrop for my troubled thoughts. I”m methodically checking through each form, making sure we”re not running low on anything essential—feed, medical supplies, maintenance tools—but my mind is elsewhere, caught in the web of my recent interactions with Tyler.
The office, usually a sanctuary of solitude and focus, now feels like a confining space where my own walls seem to close in on me. It”s ironic, considering how much of my life is spent encouraging transparency and trust among our team here at the ranch. Yet, here I am, cradling my own secrets close to my chest, especially from Tyler.
Reflecting on our time at the park, the ease of our conversations, and the heartfelt exchanges, I realize how much Tyler has opened up to me. He”s peeled back layers of his life, his past, his fears, and his dreams, with a level of honesty that was both unexpected and deeply moving. In contrast, I”ve been a guarded fortress, revealing so little, especially the fact that I”m not just Jake”s sister but also a co-owner of Beartooth Ranch. The significance of this omission weighs heavily on me, creating a chasm of discomfort.
Why haven”t I told him? The question gnaws at me, echoing around the sparse room. Is it fear of how he might view me differently? Or perhaps the uncertainty of exposing that aspect of my life, knowing it could change everything between us? The truth is, my feelings for him have deepened, quietly and steadily, like the roots of an ancient tree. Acknowledging these emotions scares me, not because they exist, but because I know they could lay the foundation for something genuine and meaningful—if only built on trust.
Tyler has shown me the courage it takes to be vulnerable, to share oneself wholly with another. And here I am, holding back significant threads of my own story, threads that are essential to understanding who I am and what I stand for. This realization sits heavy on my heart, a tangible weight of unease and contrition.
If I”m to honor what”s growing between us, no matter how nascent or undefined, I must step into the vulnerability he”s so bravely exhibited. Keeping this part of my life hidden feels incongruent with the foundation we”re laying together, a foundation I hope can be built on mutual openness and shared truths.
Taking a deep breath, I push the inventory forms aside, a symbolic clearing of space for what needs to be done. It”s time to share my truth with Tyler, to invite him into this integral part of my life. It”s a risk, but one that”s necessary. For the potential of ”us” to flourish, it must be nurtured by honesty, however daunting that may be.
I decide that the walls of my office are closing in on me, each piece of paperwork a brick adding to the confinement. I need air, space, anything that”s not suffused with the weight of my unshared secrets. Pushing back from my desk, I stand and make my way outside, the cool breeze a welcome caress after the stuffiness of indoors.
Just as I take a deep breath, trying to draw in the serenity of the vast, open skies above the ranch, a voice slices through the quiet. ”Sarah!” My heart skips, knowing instinctively who it is before I even turn. And there he is—Tyler, his approach easy and confident, with a little boy trotting at his side who is the very image of him. My eyes widen in surprise, a thousand questions surging to the forefront of my mind.
Tyler”s grin is as warm as the afternoon sun. ”Hey, Sarah,” he greets me, the fondness in his voice wrapping around me like a comfortable blanket. But it”s the presence of the boy that has my curiosity peaking, an eyebrow arching in silent inquiry.
Noticing my gaze, Tyler places a hand on the boy”s shoulder, guiding him gently forward. ”Sarah, this is Timmy,” he says, his voice imbued with a pride so palpable, it almost takes on a form of its own. ”Timmy, this is Sarah, a very good friend of mine.”
”Hi, Sarah!” Timmy”s voice is bright, a mirror to Tyler”s in its warmth. His eyes, so like Tyler”s, regard me with an openness and curiosity that children wear so well.
The introduction, while simple, sends a myriad of emotions through me. Part of me wonders if this is Tyler’s way of testing the waters, showing me a more intimate part of his life. Or perhaps it”s simply a coincidence they”re here. Either way, my heart swells at the sight of them together, at the undeniable bond they share.
”Hi, Timmy,” I manage, my voice soft but sincere. ”It”s… wow, it”s really nice to meet you.” Turning to Tyler, I ask, ”What brings you two out here today?”
Tyler”s gaze holds a hint of something deeper, something that tells me this isn”t just a casual visit. ”We were just going for a little adventure, weren”t we, kiddo? Timmy”s been wanting to see the ranch, and I thought, who better to show us around than you?”
The question hangs between us, an invitation laced with layers of meaning. This isn”t just about showing Timmy the ranch, it”s about sharing parts of our lives that have remained untouched by the other”s presence. It”s about vulnerability, about the possibility of blending our worlds together in a way we haven”t yet explored.
With a deep, steadying breath, I nod. ”I”d love that. Shall we?” I gesture broadly towards the open expanse of the ranch, a symbolic offering of everything I”ve held back, everything I”ve wanted to share but haven”t found the courage to.
Tyler”s smile in response is enough to lighten the load I”ve been carrying, and as we start walking, Timmy”s shy glances at me, and Tyler”s gaze warm upon us, I feel something shift. A door opening, perhaps, or walls coming down. The start of something new, something terrifyingly and wonderfully honest…
We start our tour at the heart of the ranch, where the air is filled with the scent of fresh hay and earth. I lead Tyler and Timmy to the small arena where bull riders practice, the soft dirt underfoot still containing the imprints of recent activity. ”This is where your dad will practice bull riding eventually,” I explain to Timmy, whose eyes are as wide as saucers, scanning the enclosure in awe. ”It”s good that he comes here for rehab because he gets to get a feel of where his new practice ground will be once he heals.”
”He”s really brave, isn”t he?” Timmy”s voice is filled with a mix of pride and curiosity, looking up at me for confirmation.
”Absolutely,” I affirm, my gaze shifting to Tyler, who stands silent, a contented smile playing on his lips, watching us bond over the legacy he”s built.
Next, we head to the stables, where several horses poke their heads out, curious about our presence. ”And this is where your dad helps out with loading the hay. He”s pretty strong, huh?” I chuckle, leading them inside. The massive size of the horses seems to both frighten and fascinate Timmy. He hesitates at the entrance, gripping Tyler”s hand tighter.
”They”re so...big,” he whispers, a mix of fear and excitement lacing his words.
”Want to pet one?” I offer, gently guiding him closer to a gentle mare named Daisy, known for her calm demeanor. With a nod from Tyler, Timmy steps forward, his small hand shaking as he extends it towards Daisy, who lowers her head graciously. The mixture of thrill and trepidation on Timmy”s face as he makes contact is pure magic.
Tyler maintains his role as the observer, the silent strength beside us. As we move from one place to another, sharing stories and laughs, I can”t help but feel a deepening connection, not just between Tyler and me, but with Timmy too.
There”s something profoundly beautiful in watching a child discover new worlds. Especially when it”s through the lens of his father”s life. I am curious though at Timmy”s excitement over the horses and foals as if he”s never been up close to any of them before.
Tyler must notice the expression on my face as he chuckles. ”That ranch back in my hometown was a walking safety hazard... as you know due to my injury. I never let him go to the ranch because I always feared for his safety. So, he”s only seen horses and stuff in books and on television, never in person.”
Timmy”s wonder transforms into a beacon of endless questions. ”Can horses understand us when we talk?” he asks, his voice filled with curiosity.
I kneel down to his level, smiling. ”In their own way, yes. They sense kindness and love more than words. When you”re gentle with them, they”ll trust you and listen to you.”
He turns his attention back to Daisy, whispering something in her ear. Daisy nuzzles his hand in response, making his eyes light up. ”She likes me!” he exclaims, looking back at us for confirmation.
Tyler kneels beside us, wrapping an arm around Timmy. ”She sure does, bud. You have a way with animals.”
”Can we feed them, Dad? Do they eat carrots like in the cartoons?”
Tyler looks worried, wondering if he”s allowed to have Timmy feed the horses or will they need to have staff be present for that. And that”s when I realize this is my chance as I take a deep breath before smiling at Timmy.
”You sure can feed them. As the co-owner of this ranch, I am perfectly fine with that.
Tyler”s eyes balk in shock at hearing that before he tries to relax his expression to smile at Timmy.
”Absolutely,” Tyler answers, standing up. ”But we”ve got something even better than carrots.” He leads us to a storage area, retrieving a bucket of specially formulated horse pellets. ”These are designed to provide all the nutrients a horse needs. Here, take a handful and keep your palm flat.”
Timmy follows his instructions meticulously, delighted as Daisy gently picks the pellets from his hand. I stand back for a moment, observing them—a father and son sharing a moment of discovery and bonding. Tyler”s glance meets mine, an unspoken gratitude in his eyes for facilitating this moment.
After feeding Daisy, we make our way around the barn, meeting each of the horses. Timmy”s initial apprehension has entirely vanished, replaced by an eager inquisitiveness and a burgeoning confidence.
Once Timmy is distracted, Tyler leans closer towards me as his voice drops to a whisper.
”Co-owner, huh? I see someone”s been holding back on me.”
His tone is joking, which calms my beating heart when I think for a second that he”s angry with me.
”I guess my biggest secret is out now…”