Chapter 31
Deanna
Morning light crept across the bedroom in slow amber bands, warming the quilt, the pine floor, and the bare shoulder of the man sleeping beside her. Deanna lay motionless, not ready to move or break the spell of this lovely room.
The room held the scent of Colton’s cedar-lined closet, and the faint ghost of wood smoke from a fireplace that hadn’t been lit since last winter.
Through the open window, Athena nickered in the corral.
A meadowlark claimed the fence post nearest the house, its song trilling the morning air in a wake-up-sleepy-head call.
She turned her head on the pillow to study Colton.
In sleep, the tension had left his face, softening the hard lines she’d come to know.
His jaw was shadowed with stubble. No scanning the sky for smoke columns.
No calculating wind drift and slurry loads.
No worrying about sabotaged fuel lines or rifle fire from ridgetops.
Colton’s dark hair fell across his brow, and one arm rested across her, as if even in sleep he was choosing to stay. And Lord, those muscles.
He’s beautiful. And he’s still here. With me.
Damn, he’s hot. He ought to come with a warning label.
The thought entered without the panic it would have triggered before she met him.
A month ago, finding herself in a man’s bed with his horses grazing outside, would have been enough to send her scrambling for the door.
She’d lived with an exit strategy for everything: keep moving, keep jumping, keep the parachute packed and ready. Never stay.
She’d finally stopped running.
Deanna brushed a hand through Colton’s hair, careful not to wake him, then traced the stubble along his jaw to the small scar near his chin she’d never noticed before.
She had time to notice those things now.
The Highlands shimmered in the morning sun beyond the window. Deanna tucked the view away, vowing to remember every ridge, every meadow, every promise the place now held. She’d return to it long after she was gone.
Colton stirred, his arm tightening around her waist. “Tell me you’re real and you’re mine,” he murmured, his voice rough with sleep.
“I’m real and I’m definitely all yours.” She kissed the corner of his mouth. “Your gelding has been staring at me through the window. I think he disapproves.”
“Spunky disapproves of everything.” One eye opened. “Athena liked you immediately. She’s an excellent judge of character. After breakfast, I’ll properly introduce you to her.”
“Athena can wait. But I can’t,” she purred.
He turned toward her, those green eyes clear in the morning light, a dark ring circling each iris.
His hand found her hip beneath the quilt, his thumb tracing lazy circles on the bone.
When his mouth came to hers, the kiss tasted of sleep and warmth and the sweetness of a morning with no alarm, no radio, no fire to fight.
She melted into him, surrendering to the rare luxury of nowhere to be and no one to answer to. “You’re torturing me.”
“I’m savoring.” He kissed the curve of her shoulder. “There’s a difference. You’re leaving today. I’m giving you plenty of reasons to come back.”
“I already have reasons to come back. Your ranch, your horses, and this extremely comfortable bed.” She arched into him as his hands found places on her body that obliterated every coherent thought.
“What about me?” He lifted his head in mock sadness.
“You’re an okay reason too, I guess.” Through the open window, her laugh startled the meadowlark from its perch.
Colton moved over her, their bodies aligning naturally.
When he sank into her, she wrapped around him and held on as they made leisurely love in the morning light.
She loved how his breath quickened and how the want lingered in his pools of green.
No more urgency to rush their lovemaking or steal kisses between fires.
Now they had all the time in the world. At least until the next fire season.
“Deanna, you feel so good.” His breath came fast as he built momentum.
“So do you,” she breathed out.
She crested first, the release breaking over her in deep waves. Sounds escaped her and Athena nickered as if she wanted to investigate who made that noise.
Colton followed, his body shuddering, face buried in her neck, her name a constant, ragged whisper.
Their breathing slowed, the quilt kicked off the bed along with the sheets, as the morning sun through the window warmed their bare skin, while a slight breeze carried the scent of hay.
They lay in the stillness for a while as the valley came to life. Through the bedroom window, a red-tailed hawk circled above the south pasture, riding a thermal with all the time in the world.
“Can I tell you something without you getting defensive?” she asked.
“That depends on what it is.” He lay on his back with one arm tucked behind his head, eyeing her with the idle contentment of a man who had nowhere else he’d rather be.
“You scare me when you fly.” She raised a hand before he could respond.
“Not because you lack skill. Because you fly like a man paying off a debt. Every unauthorized drop, each time you override Pointer, and whenever you dive into smoke without waiting for clearance. You can’t bring Mack back by risking your neck whenever someone is in danger. ”
Colton stared at the hawk making high, lazy circles outside the window.
Deanna braced herself, expecting the usual that’s part of the job dismissal he’d perfected to avoid a conversation about the crash that had claimed his co-pilot.
His words came out rough. “Pointer said the same thing after the box canyon.”
“The barn you missed because you overruled him?”
He flinched. “You heard about that?”
“Harvey told me. He also told me you asked Pointer for the approach recommendation on the next run.” She took his hand.
“That’s growth, Colton. That’s you choosing to trust someone else’s judgment instead of white-knuckling the yoke alone.
” She waited before asking him the key question.
“Is that why you prefer to fly without a first officer?”
It took him a while before he responded. “Yeah. I’ll work on that in the future.” He sounded like he meant it, and that’s all she cared about.
“Good,” she murmured. “Because I need you alive more than I need you heroic.”
The hawk disappeared over a ridgetop. She planted a kiss on his lips.
Colton rolled to his side and propped himself on an elbow. “And now I have something to ask you. But before you answer, don’t feel pressured. Whatever you decide, I’ll do a work-around. Long distance, weekends, carrier pigeons, whatever it takes.”
“Carrier pigeons.”
He thought for a minute. “I’d train Spunky, but he’d eat the messages.”
She smiled. “Ask me.”
“I thought we could try this crazy new concept called seeing each other on purpose. So, how about transferring to Missoula? My ranch is only two hours away. We could have dates that don’t require an incident action plan or a flight schedule instead of treating every dinner together like a once-in-a-lifetime event. You know, like a normal couple.”
“As opposed to an abnormal couple?” She laughed. “Actually, I was already thinking about it. Great minds.”
“On the same channel.” His eyebrows shot up. “We do think alike.”
“I’ll submit the request when I return to McCall.” She ran her fingers along his arm, tracing the muscles the yoke of a twin-engine air tanker had formed.
“On another note.” His smile could power the entire valley. “I’ll teach you to ride Athena like a pro. Not the five-minute version from last night.”
“Well, I thought our riding lesson last night went very well,” she teased. “Next time, maybe I could ride your horse.”
“That only works if we leave the bedroom.” He blushed, and she loved how she could make this confident, manly pilot blush like a teenager.
“Transfer here, learn to ride, let me love you. That’s the plan.”
“I like your plan.” She drew him down for a kiss. When they broke apart, she brushed his cheek. “With one condition.”
“Name it.”
“Teach me how to care for Athena. The feeding, grooming, what she likes, what she doesn’t.” Deanna paused. “I’ve spent my life jumping out of planes because the ground scared me more than the sky. I want to learn how to take care of living things.”
The look on his face told her he understood what she’d really meant.
Not to teach me about horses. Teach me how to create a life that lasts so I can teach myself to be a woman who stays.
“First lesson is this afternoon,” he said. “Before you go.”
“Deal. You know something, Sky King?”
“I know a lot of things. Like how much I love you.”
He couldn’t say it enough, and she loved hearing it. “We’re lucky people. Lucky to have found each other. Lucky to be in this beautiful place you have. I love Montana. You can’t tell where the sunset ends and the sunrise begins.”
“And lucky to have made it through the flames,” he said lightly, although they both knew the seriousness of his words.
They lay together a while longer, listening to the ranch wake up around them. Spunky’s heavy clip-clops in the corral, the meadowlark returning to its perch, a truck rumbling on the county road a mile off. The ordinary sounds of a life she’d never had and fiercely wanted.
The morning unfolded like any other. Fresh eggs from the chickens for breakfast, and toast Colton burned because he was too busy stealing kisses from Deanna. Ace called to say he’d hitched a ride with a tanker pilot headed to McCall.
“I’ll have a week with Kylie to plan the wedding,” he said over speakerphone. “We’re thinking next spring.”
“In a tanker?” Deanna asked.
“She vetoed that suggestion. But I’m working on her.”
The Athena lesson lasted an hour, Colton patient and steady, Deanna learning the heft of a hoof pick and the spot beneath the mare’s jaw that made her tip her head into Deanna’s hand.
THE DRIVE TO THE MISSOULA Smokejumper Base took too long and not long enough. Kylie waited in the parking lot with her gear, her new ring catching the sunlight whenever she moved her hand.
Colton’s goodbye kiss drew heckling from Kylie. “Come on, Dee! We’ll miss the flight!”
Deanna tore herself away from Colton. “I’ll call you when I land.”
“Every day,” he said. “I want to hear your voice every single day.”
She grabbed her fire pack and duffel, heading to where Kylie stood by the transport plane, blinking back the sting behind her eyes.
As the aircraft taxied, Colton stayed at the fence with one hand raised.
She blew him a kiss through the window. He caught it and tapped his cheek before sending one back.
“You two are a couple of cheese balls.” Kylie twisted her ring, smiling at it.
“Says the woman who got engaged after knowing a guy for all of one month.”
“One month and five days,” corrected Kylie. “Even with all the awful stuff that happened.”
The plane lifted off, Montana falling away beneath them in a quilt of green and brown and the lingering gray scars of fire. Deanna gazed at Blue Mountain, near the Smokejumper Base, until it receded into the distance.
She relaxed into her seat. “You know what’s funny? A month ago, I believed I jinxed everyone I cared about.”
Kylie gave her a dour look. “Why in heaven did you think that?”
Deanna shrugged. “I didn’t think I deserved happiness.”
“Well, you do, now.” Kylie squeezed her hand. “You’ve helped a lot of people this summer. It’s time the universe had your back.”
“With a stubborn pilot who talks to his horse about me.” Deanna’s mouth turned up, thinking about Colton and Athena.
“Now that’s true love,” Kylie said dreamily. “Are you planning to transfer?”
“Composing the request right now,” replied Deanna, her thumbs tapping her phone while her thoughts were fresh.
“Good. Because I am too.” Kylie grinned. “Ace found out Missoula base is recruiting two more jumpers for next season.”
“Oh my gosh, Kylie!” Deanna hugged her friend. “We can still be jump partners! Look at us, uprooting our lives for men we’ve only known for, well, not very long.” She laughed.
“When you know, you know,” Kylie said, the lightness in her voice a complete turnaround from the terrified woman she’d been only weeks before.
“Colton told me Ace said the same thing when he was so worried about you.” Her friend’s happiness brought a smile to Deanna’s face.
“After everything Ace and I have been through together, I’d rather take the leap with him than wonder what if all my life,” said Kylie, a faraway look clouding her gaze.
Deanna thought about Colton’s ranch, Athena’s soft nose, and Spunky’s lazy eyes. She loved waking up with Colton’s arm around her and looked forward to learning to ride, grooming a foal, and building a relationship that lasted longer than a fire season.
“Hey, Deanna?” Kylie said, as the Idaho mountains slid into view below.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for coming to get me from that god-awful cabin and for not giving up on me. That means more to me than you’ll ever know.” Kylie rested her head on Deanna’s shoulder.
“Always,” said Deanna, a lump in her throat. “That’s what family does.”
“We’re more than that. Family, besties, and work buddies. So don’t get sick of me.”
“Never.” Deanna squeezed Kylie’s hand on the seat rest.
As the plane banked toward McCall, she pressed her forehead against the window. Her heart wasn’t flying home with her. It was still in Montana with Colton.
Deanna realized she’d carried her parachute into every relationship she’d ever had, always ready to run. Colton had changed that. He’d taught her that the bravest leap she’d ever take wasn’t from an airplane—it was trusting someone enough to stay.
Falling in love had been the easy part. Staying. Choosing each other day after day. Facing whatever life threw at them instead of walking away. That took courage.
She wanted every ordinary day with Colton. Every wildfire season. Every storm they hadn’t seen coming. She knew that now. And she intended to spend every borrowed second with him.
Step Five. Accept that you deserve to be loved without stealing it from someone else.
Check.
For the first time, her resolutions weren’t hopes for the woman she wished she could become.
She already was that woman.