Chapter 33
Morgan
The Ninth Full Moon
My thoughts splinter into a thousand different pieces as I come to. My own scream is what wakes me.
I know it’s the full moon, because even chained in the dark, I can feel it in my bones. The pull. The tug. The need.
I’ve lost track of time.
This means I’ve been gone almost an entire month now.
Agony.
My voice sounds like sandpaper. I don’t know how long I’ve been gone. All I know is pain.
Reject me! I scream in my mind again.
I don’t know if Sylvan can hear me anymore. Every waking moment, I beg him over and over to sever our fated bond. I can’t bear the thought of him feeling this. My hope is that if he breaks our bond, even with the contract Maeve forced on us, it’ll stop him from feeling my pain.
There’d been a moment in the beginning where I’d heard him. For just a fleeting second, while they were chaining me in this iron cage. A few split seconds where I heard his voice, and I knew he was alive.
But then it hit me that he’d feel everything.
My muscles seize as another wave of Verena’s shadow magic cauterizes my thoughts. She’s not only siphoning my strength, she’s stripping my soul one shred at a time until there’s nothing left.
But this isn’t the first time I’ve felt pain like this.
I just have to survive.
I’ve been telling myself this for days. Weeks, if it’s the full moon. One more minute. One more hour. One more day. Over and over, surviving the excruciating, blinding-hot pain that hits me every few minutes.
Reject me. Reject me. Save yourself, Sylvan. Please.
They keep me alive. Barely. Once a day, I’m given water and food by a stranger. Always an alpha.
I can hear the voices of the other omegas trapped down here too. Their screaming. Their crying. I can’t see them, though. It’s too dark most of the time.
I scream again as more pain burns through my veins like a thousand wasps. Tears roll down my cheeks as I pull against the chains, the metal rattling together.
I haven’t heard Sylvan’s voice in my mind again. Whatever they’re doing, they’re making sure I can’t talk to him.
Or he’s dead.
I won’t let myself believe that. I can’t let myself believe that. I simply can’t.
Five hundred sixty-eight, five hundred sixty-nine, five hundred seventy . . .
Counting helps. I used to do this when I was a child and Maeve would trap me somewhere. Sometimes for a couple days, once or twice even longer. Counting keeps my mind clear, and I need it to be clear so I can act if I get the chance.
I don’t know how many other omegas are here. Their screams are just as heart-wrenching and devastating as my own. Sometimes there’s complete silence, and that’s when I’m most scared.
I don’t understand what they want. I can feel the magic leaching something from me, but what?
My body curls in on itself on the cold ground. There is a blanket in the corner that I sometimes use, but when I first was thrown in here, it smelled of another omega and blood. But now, I can’t really afford to care. It gets cold in the caves, and it’s winter. The blanket is all I have.
I feel the first licks of fever and close my eyes, fighting back a sob. It’s been hard enough to survive this, but going into heat without Sylvan? That on top of being tortured with magic?
I have to survive. That’s all.
Every part of my body is screaming for him.
I miss him. I miss him so fucking much, it almost hurts more than the magic they’re using to tear me apart. I miss the way he holds me and kisses me and fuck. I wish he would have marked me.
I can’t help but blame Maeve for all of this. I wonder if she had a hand in what’s happening to omegas. But Verena hinted that they tried whatever they’re doing to her first. Is that how she died?
My nails dig into the cold dirt. I grit my teeth, bearing another wave of fire in my veins.
Reject me. I don’t want him to do it, but I need him to. For once, I need Sylvan to protect himself.
Footsteps echo to the left, and I curse under my breath. I raise my head to glower as a light flashes toward my cage.
I hope they come in here. I don’t know if I’ll have enough strength to do much, but I can bite an ear off or something.
A hooded figure emerges and the light flips off as they kneel by the entrance. “Morgan.”
Are you fucking kidding me right now? I raise up on my hands and spit as Cassandra grips one of the bars.
“Oh goddess, you’re still alive. Good.”
“Why?” I don’t even recognize my voice anymore. “Here to kill me? Go ahead, Cassandra.”
“No. No. Fuck. I didn’t want this.”
She’s got to be fucking with me.
I drag myself closer to the door, as close as the chains will allow. The metal clinks against each other and I stop when more pain overcomes me. I push through it, holding onto the rage in my chest.
“It’s the full moon,” she whispers. “I know he’s looking for you. He burned down the coven house. He’s ripped up the entire town and the mountains.”
“What?”
“I don’t have much time to explain. I’m sorry.
I’ve been trying to find a way in to help.
I didn’t want this, Morgan. I didn’t know what my father was wrapped up in.
I didn’t know the Seer was still alive. My father expected me to be okay with it, but I’m not.
I’m not.” Her voice breaks as she pushes her hand through the bars, throwing me a bundle. “This is a heat suppressant.”
“They make me sick,” I croak. “It won’t work.”
Cassandra shakes her head. “It’ll work. It’s my own potion. It’ll give you strength, and it’ll use what you find comforting to soothe you. There have been omegas here that have died on the full moon without their mates if they were bonded or partially bonded. Please drink it. Please.”
I don’t trust her, but if she wants to kill me, she would have done it already. I undo the bundle. My hands tremble as I uncap the bottle and tip back the liquid. It tastes warm and good, burning down my throat. I realize it reminds me of Sylvan. Whiskey and cinnamon.
“What made you change your mind?” I whisper, throwing the empty bottle back to her.
She clutches it and breathes out as she stands. “My omega is here. I saw her. I know she’s mine. I don’t even know how long she’s been here for.”
“So you only care now that it affects you.”
“It’s more complicated than that,” she replies. “If we survive this, I’ll explain myself. I don’t really have time. I need to get back out of here.”
“What do they want with us?” I ask.
“All I know is the Shadow Seer is using your magic,” she says. “Other omegas too. And they wanted you.”
“We all know my magic is useless,” I say. “Is Verena the Seer?”
“No. She’s just a pawn, like the rest of us.
Also, Morgan, for what it’s worth—I don’t know if I believe what they said about your magic anymore.
” Cassandra tightens her hood around her head and offers an apologetic look.
“I have to go. Just please don’t die. I’m so sorry for this. I . . . I’m so sorry.”
Another wave of pain crashes into me and I grit my teeth as she flees. “I still think you’re a bitch!” I shout after her, and then moan, curling back in on myself.
Whatever she gave me is helping, at least. When I inhale, I can smell Sylvan. Whiskey and cinnamon. A sob shakes me as I realize how much I’ve missed his scent.
Cassandra’s words fill my mind again. He burned down the coven house. He ripped up the entire town and the mountains.
If he did all of that before his rut happened, I don’t know what he’ll do tonight without me. Inhibitors don’t work on Sylvan.
The pain comes again, and again, and again. I drift in and out of sleep, dreaming of my childhood. Dreaming of my future.
Dreaming of Sylvan.
It’s not until there’s a second set of footsteps that I stir. I raise my head to growl at Cass, but she’s not who stands at the door.
I can’t see their face. It’s just darkness. But I know them. I know this feeling. It’s the same one I felt on my first full moon in Hex Ridge.
The shadows slip away and the looming figure becomes a body. He wears all white, as if he’s attending a funeral.
Maybe it’s about to be mine.
“Morgan,” he says.
The voice. That voice belongs to the one I heard that night.
“I’m disappointed. I thought you would have broken out by now. But I guess Maeve really did break you, didn’t she? She learned from the best, I suppose.”
Whatever pain I think I’ve experienced is nothing compared to what overtakes me now. Blood fills my mouth as I scream and scream and scream until I’m certain my ears are going to pop.
It stops. I breathe out, shaking as I push myself onto my knees. “What are you?”
He tilts his head, regarding me with a smile that makes me want to vomit. “You know me, child. You’ve always known me. She just took your memories away, didn’t she? Don’t worry. We’ll fix that.”
Darkness slithers forth and I shove myself back, forcing myself to stand and move into the furthest corner of the cage. The pain returns, and for the first time, I wish I would just die.
Reject me, I call out. Reject me, Sylvan.
I feel a fluttering in my chest.
Never.