Chapter 23 - Luna
I fucking hate getting my period. It’s been getting worse and worse the older I get.
I can barely tolerate myself when the mood swings hit; they’ve become so extreme.
My inside voice is screaming stop with the crazy while my outside voice reaches higher levels of ridiculousness in the fun mash-up of blubbering emotion and manic rage.
It’s exhausting, not to mention the nasty cramps and extra heavy flow I need to live through for six days.
Kara keeps telling me to get an IUD but I’ve been on the fence after reading all the horror stories of extreme pain during the insertion.
She says the key to getting it as pain-free as possible is to go to a clinic that specializes in them and not let my regular family doctor do it.
She says that most clinics like that are all lady doctors who get it, that kind of shit really does hurt, so they offer all the pain meds you need.
They also do a lot of them, so they are pros at putting them in and taking them out, unlike GPs that hardly ever do them and just painfully poke around, guessing where it’s supposed to go.
The idea of not getting my period or most of the symptoms for the eight years the IUD is good for sounds like a dream at this point. Sign me the fuck up. I wince and roll over at both my bad language and a sharp cramp. I need to get back on my no swearing streak… right after my period finishes.
Eight years… I would be almost twenty-eight at that point.
Right around when I imagine I would like to start having kids.
My mood immediately flips to devastating sadness thinking about that.
How can I even think about having kids when my mom won’t be here to hold my hand through all of it?
My dad would have been the best grandpa and Atlas…
I choke on the sobs that roll up from my chest and ruthlessly push thoughts of my family away.
I know from these past months that I can’t let myself think about my family when the red wave of hormones is riding me hard, or I’ll sink into a deep depression that will hold me in its grip for days if not weeks.
Some days I feel like I’m barely holding on by my fingernails.
So, I focus on other non-important things, like what an asshole Jules is.
I fucking know we had a new jar of pickles in the pantry! But when I couldn’t get the stupid lid off, I took a fucking hammer to it. Even a desperate period craving wasn’t going to let me eat pickles with glass shards in them. Am I being completely irrational… yes, and I don’t fucking care!
A knock at my bedroom door has me flipping the covers over my head even as I yell, “Go away!”
The jerks ignore me and come in anyway. One of them tugs the blankets down enough so my eyes peek over the top and I see all four of them surrounding my bed.
Jules shoves a huge jar of pickles at me.
I fumble for it, miss, and it lands on my tender stomach, causing me to wail like I’ve been mortally wounded.
His eyes go wide with fear and he bounces onto the bed to snatch the large jar back up.
I let out a whimper and Gage grabs Jules by the back of his shirt with a growl and yanks him off the bed.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?”
I sniff back my tears with a pathetic little nod.
“We got you some ice cream and your favorite Starbucks too, Luna,” Reid tells me as he moves to sit on the side of the bed.
Now I feel like an asshole. I look to Jules and offer him a halfhearted apology. “Sorry about the pickles. I broke the last jar.”
He nods cautiously and asks, “Did you drop it?”
And just like that, my emotions go from a three to a twenty-six on the crazy scale. “I couldn’t get it open, so I hit it with a hammer!” I wail. I suck in a ragged breath and continue, “I don’t want to adult anymore and, and, and… I miss my dog!”
That gets me confused looks from all of them. It’s Torrin who is brave enough to ask, “I didn’t think you guys ever had a dog, did you?”
I nod with a dripping face and wail again, “We didn’t and it’s just so sa-dddd!” and then I burst into uncontrollable sobs.
Everyone takes a step back from the crazy lady except Gage, who leans over and scoops me up from the bed.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart. Come on - we’ll go eat ice cream and pickles and binge-watch something fun on Netflix.”
As he carries me from the room, I rub my wet face on his t-shirt like a toddler, making him laugh, and then he settles me on the couch where he wraps me up in a handknit throw my mom made during one of her crafting phases.
The others fill the coffee table with the open jar of pickles, three kinds of ice cream, and a bunch of Starbucks drinks.
They are the absolute best as they let me watch trashy reality shows like Love Island without complaint and cuddle me from either side.
I pass out at some point against Gage’s side, and when I wake up a few hours later, it’s to a sloppy wet tongue licking my face.
I’ve always wondered what kissing Gage would be like, but this was not what I had in mind.
When I open my eyes, it’s to meet a pair of big copper-colored ones with impossibly long eyelashes.
My mouth drops open in shock at the puppy staring back at me and my arms immediately go around it and hug it to my chest.
“You have to name her and walk her and pick up her crap. I don’t do that shit. And keep her away from my shoes.”
I look up at a scowling Jules and an excited-looking Reid, who are both staring down at us.
“You… you guys got me a dog?”
Reid is practically vibrating in his excitement. “None of us except Gage has ever had a dog and you were right, that is sad, so… what are you going to name her?”
The smile on my face is so wide my cheeks ache as I look back at those pretty copper coin eyes already so full of love and happiness to be in my arms, and I know right away what her name will be. I smooth a hand down over her smooth, soft fur and say, “Welcome home, Penny.”
***
Group Chat
Gage: Thinking tacos take out for supper. Who’s in?
Jules: Reid and I will meet you there in 10. We’re just down the street
Torrin: I can swing by on the way back from the batting cages.
Reid: Hobby? You want?
Gage: Luna? You there?
Jules: Stop being a brat and answer Cin. Don’t leave us on read
Luna: No
Jules: No you won’t stop being a brat or no to tacos?
Luna has left the chat
Gage: She’s having a bad day. All I got was three I’m FINE's and a door slam when I asked her earlier if she was okay.
Torrin: To be expected. Today is Atlas’s birthday.
Jules: Fuck
Reid: We need to get her tacos and cake
Gage: Meet you at Los Rio’s
Torrin added Luna to the chat