chapter seven #3
Rubbing my sweaty palms on my skirt, I mumble a confirmation.
There’s a strange sense of comfort in the thick fog that surrounds me, and it makes a part of me want to hide in here forever.
What will it be like out there? My heart races, and I slide my hand into the pocket of my skirts, rubbing the dagger.
“La?na?”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. You can do this. Heretics or not, there’s no way this can be any worse than what I’ve lived through. I halt. I could also turn around, make my way back through the pass, avoiding the minister and his men, and travel deeper into the eastern territories.
“There you are.” A calloused hand grips my wrist, abruptly ending any thoughts of retreat.
“La?na.” Although Llyr’s grip is firm, the pull is gentle as he guides me toward him, his eyes locking with mine once I’m close enough to see him through the mist. “If we ever get separated, I want your promise that you will make your way to Caelēn and find me at the Arc, all right?”
“The Arc?”
“It is the high seat of Reā. Anyone in Reā can tell you how to get there.” His unwavering green gaze pierces mine.
“Sure,” I say. “Hopefully that won’t happen, but I promise. If I get lost, I’ll find you at the Arc.”
He gives a curt nod. “Good. Ask for me, and if I am not there yet, ask for Morgana. She is the ashina, the leader. Tell her I sent you, and she will make sure you are taken care of.”
“The Arc and Morgana—I can remember that.”
Still holding my hand, he disappears from view, and a moment later, I am pulled out next to him on the shelf.
“Ah,” he sighs. “Finally feeling alive again.”
I gasp. Never in my wildest imagination could I have dreamed up anything like this.
“Beautiful, is it not?” Llyr whispers, as if trying not to break the spell.
Captivated by the mesmerizing display in front of me, all I can manage is a nod. “Beautiful” doesn’t even begin to describe it.
The pitch-black night sky is partly covered in what looks to be an enormous cloud of vibrant-colored dust—a cosmic canvas in hues of pink and blue and purple—emitting a faint ethereal glow. Unable to speak, I crane my neck.
“The largest moon—the Celestial Moon—is Niia, the goddess of Magic,” Llyr says, pointing to the magnificent white orb, shining with about three-quarters of its brilliance.
Orbiting it are two smaller moons, one pale blue and another soft pink, both nearly perfect circles. There is also a green moon shaped like the letter C, and a golden one glowing at a quarter of its strength.
“The smaller moons are her children Briah, Cyra, Tiran, and Xepher.” He points to the blue, pink, green and yellow moons respectively.
I can barely process his words. How is any of this real? And then there are the infinite small twinkling lights adorning the night sky. What are they?
Llyr follows my gaze. “Those lights are known as soul stars. It is believed that each one represents the soul and the destiny of an individual, and their threads intertwine to form the magnificent tapestry of life itself. And that”—he points toward the colorful display—“is a nebula, a stellar nursery where souls are born.”
Out of nowhere, a wave of dizziness washes over me. The sheer size of the space surrounding me—a vast difference from the enclosed mountain pass—makes me feel disoriented, causing my head to spin. I grip Llyr’s arm for support, trying to steady myself.
He pats my hand. “The vastness of space can be disorienting, especially when you have never witnessed its grandeur before.”
“How could you keep this from me?” I turn toward him, but he avoids my gaze.
“Llyr?” I step in front of him, forcing him to face me.
“If you knew this was here the whole time”—I swipe my hand toward the celestial display, at a loss for words to describe it—“why would you stay in Bronich?” I tense.
“Or are there dangers here that this beauty cannot make up for?”
“Yes and no,” he says, still not looking me in the eye.
“There are a lot of things I would like to explain, but we will have time for that later.” His expression turns into one of remorse as he continues, “I am sorry you had to go through whatever hardship you did, but you have to trust me when I say it was all done to keep you safe.” He reaches into one of his inner pockets, pulling out a familiar object.
“Which is why I need you to put the brace back on, La?na. For your own protection. It will block your signature from anyone searching for you.”
It takes a moment for the meaning behind his words to sink in.
“You’re the reason I was Master Coperie’s property all these years?
” My eyes widen as my mind scrambles to understand.
“To keep me safe?” My voice rises in pitch with the last word.
“And now you expect me to willingly put that brace back on?” The sheer audacity of his request hits me right in my stomach.
I glare at the brace in his hand. I’ll go willingly to damnation before I put that thing back on.
How did he get his hands on that? He’s not nobility.
He has no right to own a brace. Besides, I saw him toss the other one away, not to mention it would have been useless to him without the mother piece.
“Are you out of your mind?” I take a few steps back, distancing myself from him. Nails digging into my palms, I clench my fists so hard I’m afraid my fingers will break from the impact. “Do you know what he did to me?”
He remains silent, his face a mask of unreadable emotions.
“Do you?” I’m yelling now, the words tearing at my throat. “Look at me!” I pull up the sleeves of my dress, revealing my scarred arms. “Did. You. Know?”
He flinches. “No, no . . .” He shakes his head. “It is not like you think. Let me explain. We are outside of the pass, and the brace . . . It will hide you from—”
I stop listening as Llyr becomes a blur before my eyes.
I don’t care what he has to say. “May the Father burn you,” I seethe through clenched teeth.
An uncontrollable sob escapes my lips before my anxiety kicks in full force, its dark tendrils tightening around my ribs, stealing my breath.
Clutching my chest, I stumble away from him, desperate to get away.
“Careful, La?na!”
I hear the urgency in Llyr’s voice, but I don’t care.
I don’t ever want to see him again. There’s no explanation for what he has put me through.
None. I should have understood there was something wrong when he knew how to release me from my brace, but I trusted him. Father have mercy on me, but I did.
Desperate for air, I pull on my neckline. I can’t breathe. I take another step backward.
“La?na, no!” Llyr reaches for me, but desperate to escape, I slap his hand away and jump back, only to find there is no ground beneath me.
My strangled gasp turns into a terrified scream as Llyr disappears from view and I tumble through the air, the wind whipping past me. Ice-cold water overtakes me, and I realize I have more pressing matters than Llyr’s betrayal if I want to survive.