chapter twenty-seven
PULLING MAEVE TO A STOP, I stare at what can be defined as nothing but wasteland before us. “We’re here,” I whisper.
“We’re here,” Vilder echoes, pulling his mare to a stop next to me.
Having trailed behind on the steep ascent, Seniia finally reaches the crest of the hill, and she gasps when she sees the view of Anam’gate. It’s a sight to behold. We sit in silence, taking in the sacred mountain of the gods. “The gate of the soul,” Rìven called it.
The hilltop we’re on offers an excellent view of the path forward. In front of us is a steep drop, followed by a narrow path snaking through a dark, dreary landscape. Jagged black rocks litter both sides of the narrow path for as far as the eye can see.
The Plains of Death.
When I asked Vilder why the morbid name, he said that Reāns enter Anam’gate for one sole purpose: rebirth.
And to be reborn, you first have to die.
The thought is not exactly comforting. I squint my eyes, taking in what look to be two enormous winged wolf statues framing the road at the other end of the Plains of Death, each carved out of a mountain.
“Mah and Zerex,” Vilder whispers. There’s no one here but us, but I can understand him. There’s something unsettling about speaking out loud. “Two divine guardians, weighing the soul of every passerby.”
Even with the warm furs I’m wearing, a chill runs down my spine, and I can’t shake the heavy, ominous feeling that permeates this place.
Behind the winged guardians, Anam’gate resides, tall and dark, its ragged peaks towering toward the heavens.
It makes everything else appear minuscule next to it, and split straight down the middle, it is indeed as if it has been struck by a powerful bolt of lightning.
The most ominous thing about the mountain is still how it looks to be absorbing every ray of light, causing its rocks to appear an unnatural shade of black. The sight of it is terrifying.
I swallow. What if the gods don’t let me pass through? A sudden dark movement catches my attention.
“Is that someone moving toward their gates?” I point toward a tiny figure moving rapidly toward the entrance between the two guardians of the threshold, but before he reaches the massive wolf statues, the last rays of the sun disappear behind the mountain, leaving the path in darkness.
The four lesser moons, which have barely begun their climb toward their peak in the night sky, give no light to speak of.
A deafening roar echoes through the desolate wasteland, causing my heart to skip a beat. What was that? Despite the cold, my palms are now slick with sweat as we exchange worried glances.
As I stare in the direction of the terrifying sound, two pairs of glowing eyes pierce through the darkness. Then the guardians’ eyes flare, and searing lights pierce through the twilight, shooting forth from both sides to form an X, before plunging everything back into darkness.
I blink. What was that?
“You don’t have to go,” Seniia says quickly.
I twist to meet her gaze. “Yes. I do,” I say.
“I’m so tired of not knowing. Of being a pawn in everyone else’s game.
” I run a hand across my face. I’m tired to my core.
Even my bones are tired. To say the past moons have been rough would be the understatement of the century. I have to go. Have to know.
Even if you’re executed in the process? My gut tells me that is what happened to whoever approached the gate before me.
There’s not much else to say, so we sit in silence, the stillness broken only by the occasional rustle of leaves. But when the full Celestial Moon crests the horizon, its pale light illuminating our faces, I know it’s time.
If I don’t enter Anam’gate now, I may as well forget about it. I didn’t fight my way here only to fail due to lack of courage. The Mi’Awal Moon is still hanging low on the horizon though, so it should give me at least three bells before it reaches its peak.
“Ready?” Vilder asks.
After drawing in a steadying breath, I release it with a heavy sigh. My lower back is aching, and I’m tired, but I nod despite not feeling ready at all.
Vilder’s gaze roams my face, clearly sensing the lie. “We’ve got your back,” he says.
“Always,” Seniia adds.
Blinking back tears, I nod. “Let’s go.”
Left with no other option but to climb down the cliff, we leave the horses behind. There’s no way they can make it down the steep cliffside, and backtracking to choose another route will take too much time. Time we don’t have.
“Go,” Vilder says, gesturing for Gray to take the longer trail, her wolf speed ensuring she’ll meet us at the base.
I watch her go, then turn back to face the cliff.
Vilder moves to the edge, testing the first handhold. “Stay close,” he says, and begins to climb.
“THIS PLACE GIVES ME THE creeps,” Seniia whispers as we step over yet another pile of bones. Human, Reān, or otherwise, it’s hard to tell as they crumble to dust the moment one comes into contact with them.
Vilder and I nod our agreement, both reluctant to make any sound as we navigate the treacherous terrain, the air heavy with a sense of impending doom.
Gray moves silently beside us, her hackles raised, ears pinned back.
“Do you know what I can expect?” I ask Vilder.
He shakes his head again, not willing to speak out loud, so we continue on in silence until we reach the massive wolf sculptures of Mah and Zerex.
Craning my neck, I gaze up at them. They must be at least a thousand feet tall, yet they’re small compared to Anam’gate towering behind them. They also appear to be asleep; heads hanging, eyes closed, wings tucked in, they look still and peaceful.
I take a couple steps forward and almost have a heart attack when the sculptures’ wings flare and they raise their massive wolf heads.
They lift their eyelids, and bright light flows from their eyes, highlighting the crisp remnants of the male—or man, his features are indistinguishable—that tried to cross before me. Based on his size alone, he looks Reān.
I’m not sure what I expected, but it’s not this: that there is a possibility that I’ll be burned to death simply by walking through this gate.
What was this male’s goal? Why wasn’t he considered worthy of entering?
A quick glance around tells me he’s not the only one who’s tried.
There are more corpses littering the entrance than I dare to count.
What if I’m not found worthy? Truth be told, I can’t think of a single reason why I should be.
Void, I just stabbed a Reān in the back without a fair fight. How is that for not being worthy?
A heavy breath leaves my lungs. I knew that I might not find what I was searching for. I was prepared to be denied the soul shards. I was even prepared to not make it here in time. What I’m not prepared for is dying here at the threshold before I’ve even tried.
“Daughter of Mah.” The deep male voice reverberates through the plains, causing the ground to tremble, jolting me from my thoughts.
Eyes wide, I throw a glance over my shoulder at Vilder and Seniia, only to see them kneeling with their foreheads pressed to the ground.
Even Gray is bowing, belly low, ears flat.
Burn me. I immediately follow suit, dropping to my knees, bowing to the earth in a sign of respect.
“Rise, children.” The female voice is softer, although equally powerful. “Step forward, and tell us, what is it that you seek within these gates?”
I step forward in between their massive forms, my mind racing with a million thoughts.
I don’t want to anger them accidentally by saying the wrong thing.
Still, I’m sure they’ll see right through me if I lie, not to mention that I’m still wearing the brace, leaving me with no choice but to say the truth.
“I’ve come in search of the forgotten parts of myself,” I say, staring up at them.
There’s a low rumble that continues for some time, giving me the impression they’re discussing my request between them.
“Reveal yourself.” Their voices reverberate in unison.
I blink up at them. Reveal myself. I’m standing right here, am I not?
“Your brace,” Vilder whispers behind me. “It is shielding them from sensing your true essence.”
Of course. I should have thought of that.
I slide my thumb across the cool, smooth surface of the brace, its glyphs emanating a faint glow before it falls open.
I stuff it into my satchel, and it makes a soft clinking sound as it hits the glass jar given to me by the dark-eyed lady.
I suck in a breath as life seems to flow back into my veins.
The brace surely blocks more than just magic.
The same low rumble picks up, intensifying with each passing moment.
My gaze flickers between the two. Somehow, I get the impression that they don’t agree. That they are arguing. I close my eyes.
Please find me worthy.
Please find me worthy.
Please find me worthy.
I repeat the internal chant. The low rumble stops, and my heart beats so hard that my chest hurts. It’s all I can do not to upend my stomach right there. Then Zerex’s rumble fills the air once more.
“You have been weighed, and although the mother finds you worthy, I disagree. Your soul is meant to serve another’s purpose.”
Astēr’s. This is it, isn’t it? Why on Reā did I ever think that this would be a good idea? Of course the gods are on his side. Now I will be captured or burned to ashes, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Turning my head, I find Seniia’s blue-green eyes, then Vilder’s russet ones. “I’m so sorry,” I mouth, tears running down my cheeks. Then I turn my attention back toward the two gods. I’m ready. Squeezing my eyes shut, I brace myself for the impact. Please let it be quick.
“However, I have chosen to give you the benefit of the doubt and allow Mah’s decision to prevail, on one condition . . .”
My eyes flash open. Did he say I’ll live?