Chapter 21 #4
The world narrows to the taste of her.
I unlock my jaw. Slow. Tongue moving across the wound, sealing it, the way the wolf knows to. Blood on my mouth. Blood on her shoulder. My hips still pulsing into her—
And then I feel it.
The lock.
Deep inside her. My body swelling at the base, sealing us together, the pulses still going through me into her.
Oh.
Oh shit.
I freeze. Forehead pressed to hers. Both of us still shaking. Her body soft and pliant under mine, breath slowing, hand stroking the back of my neck, completely unaware that I have just—
That my wolf has just—
Fuck.
"Mel."
"Mm." Sleepy. Dazed. Smiling. "That was. Wow. That was."
"Mel."
"Hm?"
"I need to tell you something."
"Mm. Okay. Tell me."
I lift my head. Look down at her.
Her eyes are closed. Lashes wet. The mark on her shoulder—my mark, my mark—dark red, raw, already starting to clot. Spreading slow into the bedding under her. Her hair stuck to her temple. Mouth swollen. Looking like the most beautifully wrecked thing I've ever seen.
I am about to ruin this for her.
"Mel. Open your eyes."
She opens them. Bright blue. Glazed. Soft.
"What."
"I bit you."
"Mm. Yeah. I felt it. It was kind of nice actually—"
"Melori."
Something in my voice gets through. Her eyes focus.
"Keer?"
"I bit you. While I was—" My throat works. "I didn't mean to. I didn't think. My wolf—"
Her hand comes up. Touches her shoulder. Comes away red.
She looks at her fingers.
Then she looks at me.
"Oh."
"Mel—"
"Is that—is that bad? Should I be worried? Is this a wolf thing? It's a wolf thing, isn't it. Of course it's a wolf thing. Everything is a wolf thing today—"
"Mel."
"—first I find out wolves run hot, now I find out wolves bite, what is next, what other wolf things are going to surprise me tonight, is there a wolf thing where—"
"Mel. There's more."
She stops talking.
"More what."
"I can't pull out yet."
She blinks.
"I'm—" I close my eye. Open it. "We're locked together. My body. It's—"
"You're stuck."
"Yes."
"Inside me."
"Yes."
"Like. Stuck stuck."
"Yes, Mel."
She is quiet for a long moment.
"For how long."
"A few hours."
"A few HOURS?"
"Mel—"
"A FEW HOURS, Keer? You're telling me your body has decided we are now a SET? For HOURS? Your body just—it just—decided that without consulting either of us?"
"It's connected."
"Oh I know it's connected, Keer, I can feel exactly how connected we are right now, that part is crystal clear, you don't have to sell me on the connection—"
"Mel. Connected to the bite."
"Oh."
She goes very still.
"Explain."
I take a breath.
"Wolves don't do this anymore. It's old. Old as the species. When a wolf claims a mate—when the wolf, not the man—it bites. Breaks skin. Takes blood. The body locks. It's how the bond seals."
"Bond."
"Mate bond."
"Mate."
"Mate."
She is staring at me.
"Keer. Are you telling me your wolf just married me."
"More than married."
"MORE THAN—"
"It's biological, Mel. Permanent. A wolf only bonds once. After tonight I can't—" My voice has gone rough. "There won't be anyone else. Ever. Can't father pups with anyone but you. The wolf chose. It's done."
She is silent.
I brace.
This is where she pulls back. This is where the panic hits. This is where she realizes the size of the thing she just stepped into without being warned.
I have to accept whatever she decides.
I will accept it and I will hold still while she decides because I am still inside her and there is nowhere for either of us to go.
"Keer."
"Yeah."
"Are you okay with this?"
I freeze.
"What?"
"You keep saying the wolf chose. The wolf bit me. The wolf locked us. The wolf, the wolf, the wolf." Her hand finds my face. "What about you, Keer? What about the man? Did you choose this? Or did the wolf choose for you?"
I—I don’t—.
"Mel."
"Because it sounds like you're saying the wolf did this and you're just along for the ride. And I need to know if that's true. Because if it is—" Her thumb traces my cheekbone. "If it is, we have a different conversation."
I close my eye.
The answer comes without thought.
"The wolf chose first. By a breath. The wolf reached you before I did." A long pause. "But I would have. Melori. I would have. Maybe not tonight. Maybe not for months. But I would have. The wolf just—got there ahead of me."
Her smile grows.
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"That's what I needed to know."
A beat. Her hand still on my face.
"Then tell me one more thing."
"Anything."
"If you could undo it. If the wolf hadn't gotten there first and you had a choice—would you?"
My mark. Already setting into her skin permanently, the way the wolf wanted.
"No."
"No?"
"No, Mel. I wouldn't undo it."
She’s quiet.
"Good."
"Good?"
""Well, yeah. I would have been pretty annoyed if you'd done all that and then wanted to take it back.
" Her hand drifts to the bite, comes away red again.
She studies her fingers a moment. "Alrighty, let me recap to make sure I'm understanding this.
What you're telling me is your wolf just made a very permanent decision.
And this—" she gestures vaguely at our connected hips, "—is the cosmic receipt. "
"I wouldn't—"
"That's what this is, isn't it. Wolf-married receipt."
"I cannot believe that's the term you've chosen."
"I can't either, but I'm sleep-deprived and your body is doing something to me I don't fully understand and also I just had two of the biggest orgasms of my life. So we're working with what we've got, vocabulary-wise."
A laugh tears out of me. Real. Helpless.
"There he is." She is smiling. Tired. Bright. "I knew he was in there—I mean, you ARE still in there, you're still in me, but you know what I—"
"Mel."
"You know what I mean."
A pause. Her face goes still.
"Wait."
"Uh-oh."
"Wait wait wait."
I release a breath. "What?"
"Keer. Why is the lock a couple hours?"
"Uh, well…."
"Why specifically. Why that long."
"Mel."
"Oh my GOD. Oh my GOD. Keer. KEER. This is a baby lock, isn't it. This is for babies. Your body is currently—right now—it's actively trying to—"
"Mel."
"OH MY GOD."
"Mel, breathe—"
"Your body is BABY-LOCKING me. Right now. As we speak. KEER."
"Mel—"
"Is it working? Is there a baby happening right now? Are you currently—"
"I don't know."
"YOU DON'T KNOW?"
"It's not certain. It's not every time. It's—the wolf increases the chance. That's what the lock does. Holds it. But it doesn't guarantee."
"It HOLDS IT?"
"Melori."
"Keer, you are very calmly explaining to me that your body has me PINNED for OPTIMAL—"
"Mel, I need you to breathe."
"I AM brEATHING."
"Slower."
She breathes. Slower. Stares at me.
"Okay. Okay okay okay. Let me think about this. Let me—I am thinking. Out loud. Don't interrupt."
"I won't."
"Okay. So. Possibility one—nothing happens. We had sex, your body did its wolf thing, no baby, life continues, I have a tooth necklace and a scar and a wolf-husband and that's that. Fine. Manageable."
"Okay—."
"I said don't interrupt."
"You were just talking. I was confirming."
"Don't."
"Okay."
"Possibility two. There IS a baby. Currently. As we speak. Your wolf has efficiently—we don't need to revisit that part—"
"Okay."
"—and I am, hypothetically, with child. Right now. In which case." A pause. "In which case."
She's quiet.
I don’t dare interrupt this.
"In which case it's a small wolf-baby. Half wolf. Yours and mine. With your eye and my hands and probably a TERRIBLE temper—"
"Mel."
"—and an extremely opinionated mother and a father who pulls his own teeth out for people, which is honestly excellent stock, that is strong stock, I would absolutely choose that stock—"
Her voice catches.
"—and I am—I am crying. Why am I crying. I didn't plan to cry."
"Mel."
"OH MY GOD."
"What."
"Keer. Keer. It's the hormones. The baby hormones. It's STARTED. I'm already—"
"Mel. We just had sex. It wouldn't be that quick."
"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT."
"Mel."
"—the body knows, Keer, the body KNOWS—"
"Mel."
"—I'm nesting, I'm going to start nesting, I'm going to want pickles, oh my GOD I'm going to want pickles—"
"Mel."
"WHAT."
"You're crying because you mean it. Not hormones."
She stops.
Stares at me.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Oh. That's—oh."
A long beat. Her hand comes up. Wipes her face. Comes away wet.
"That's worse, actually."
"Worse?"
"Worse than hormones. Hormones are explainable. Meaning it is—" She sniffs.
"I would like a baby." Quiet. Into my skin. Her face going into my throat. "If there's one. I would like that."
"Yeah."
A beat. Then her head lifts. "Wait. Do you? I just—I just decided that out loud for both of us. Sorry. Do you want a baby, Keer?"
Her eyes on mine.
"Yes."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, Mel."
She settles back into me. Heavy. Quiet.
A pup. Hers. Mine.
"The knot will release in—"
"WAIT."
I wait.
"Keer. You bit me." She pushes up on one elbow. The blood on her shoulder is drying. "You bit me, and—nope. We are not done here."
"...what."
"With the claiming. I'm not done with the claiming."
She lifts her chin.
"You did the wolf-thing. Cosmic receipt. Mark on my shoulder for life." She lifts her hand. Shows me her bloody fingers. "Do I get to bite you?"
I stare at her.
"What. It seems fair. You bit me, I bite you, balanced ledger. Otherwise this is a one-sided wolf-marriage and that doesn't seem—"
"Yes."
She stops.
"Yes?"
"Yes, Mel. You can bite me."
Her face lights up. Slow. Delighted.
"Excellent. Excellent. Where. I'm picking. Don't move."
"I literally cannot move, Mel."
"Right. Forgot. Stuck. Okay. Hold still."
She pushes up. Gentle. I shift my weight to hold her against me, carefully, mindful of the place where we are still joined. She braces her hand on my chest. Considers me.
"Shoulder. Symmetry."
She leans in. Sets her teeth against my shoulder. Bites down.
Nothing happens.
She bites harder.
Nothing.
She pulls back. Looks at the spot. Looks at me. Looks at the spot again.
"Why is your skin like leather?"
"Wolf."