36. Riggs
RIGGS
Nightfall came too soon.
After the swim with Esemeray, Riggs had needed a release. Thank the heavens, he found one in his tent. Shortly after, his mind cleared and spiraled with theories. His money was on the queen. That royal cunt. What she had done to her?—
His hands curled into fists, his anger surging once more.
He blew out a calming breath, taking a seat on a log across from Killian, observing the firelight dancing along his brother’s face as his mind roamed.
Who could have taken Elora and why? Or…did she escape on her own?
What was the connection to the lycans? It seemed no one knew anything about her disappearance.
Then there was Princess Esemeray. Where did the shadows come from?
Is that why they hid her from the world?
From me?
“What are you thinking about?” Killian asked, forcing Riggs' eyes to snap to his.
Riggs tapped a booted foot against the loose soil. “I was thinking about Elora. Just going through all the possibilities.”
Killian’s mouth curved into a sideways smile. “Thinking about the other one now, are we?” he teased, throwing a stick into the crackling fire.
“Earlier, you asked if we were doing any good finding her… Do you still worry we’re on a fool’s errand?”
Killian crossed his ankles, then his arms, and yawned, covering his mouth with a hand. “I did.”
Riggs leaned forward and kept his voice low. “Did it ever cross your mind that we never heard about Princess Esemeray before now?”
Killian’s eyes narrowed, his voice raising, “What’s your point, Riggs? People knew about her. The king announced her marriage for gods’ sake.”
Riggs winced.
Oh yeah, that.
He still had not brought himself to ask her about it, fearing he’d lose his temper, something he was already having a difficult time controlling.
When the time’s right.
He shook the unsettling thoughts away. It did not matter, not anymore.
Glancing toward the sky, Riggs fixed his gaze on the glowing moon.
“My point is there’s something bigger going on here.
” He turned to Killian, who was closing his eyes.
“They’re shifters. Why didn’t the queen mention that to the men hunting for their daughter?
To us? I feel that is a vital piece of information, is it not?
” He dropped his voice even further. “The scar on her chest…what were they doing to them?”
Killian’s body jolted like he was trying to wake himself up. He scratched his beard. “All good questions. When we meet with Kohen, let’s see what we can find out,” he murmured, his voice slurring.
Oh gods, did Killian even hear me? Riggs rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Go to bed, brother.” Typically, Killian would stay up to keep watch on the shipment. Riggs knew the Goolies were taking its toll.
Riggs would watch the crate tonight. Another sleepless night.
He glanced toward Esemeray, who was perched in bird form on Storm, facing the opposite direction. What’s she staring at? Did she hear something lurking in the trees?
Killian didn’t waste any time trudging toward his tent.
Riggs' boots sloshed on the wet grass as he made his way toward Esemeray. She was still faced the other way, staring at the dark forest ahead.
“Hey,” Riggs whispered, his voice lighter than before. She didn’t turn. “Hey, Em.” He reached for her, his fingers itching to skim her feathers, but she vanished.
No black mist. No naked woman. Nothing. Just—gone.
Riggs gripped the hilt of a dagger. “What the fuck?” Then he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. Slowly, he turned, his heart leaping in his throat as Esemeray stood smiling a breath away.
Riggs clenched his stomach. “Fuck, you scared me.”
Esemeray cocked a brow. “I thought you said I don’t scare you?”
Riggs swallowed hard. “That’s not what I meant. I just… I saw you staring into the forest, and then?—”
He had thought he lost her. Again.
Esemeray giggled.
Riggs threw his hands up. “What’s so funny? There was no mist.”
“Perhaps without the sun, you don’t see any?”
“Oh, so like…incognito?”
“That’s my guess.” She half smiled. “I don’t know much about who I am…or what I am.”
“We’re going to figure it out,” he said, pushing his hair back, and blowing out a breath of relief.
She’s here.
She took one step closer, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I’m here,” she said softly, knowing exactly what had shaken him.
He sighed at the comfort of her body pressed against him, his fingers running down her spine. “Yeah,” he said, his voice hoarse, “you’re here.”
Esemeray leaned back, cutting him a glare. “Oh, and by the way…birds have excellent hearing.”
Fuck.
“Just like fins are faster than feet?” Riggs huffed a lazy laugh. “That wasn’t a fair race by the way.” She had even bit his toe while passing him up. Unfair indeed.
“A lot of things in life are not fair.” She trailed her fingers along his shoulders and departed toward Storm. She was a distraction he didn’t need. Even from behind, she was a masterpiece. He inhaled a sharp breath, holding it deep within his lungs. “Gods help me.”
He didn’t even notice Esemeray go through his saddlebags until she covered herself with her cloak. She approached, sliding a finger across his chin, and purred, “You have a little drool there.”
He gulped, wiping at his lips like an absolute fool.
Esemeray covered her mouth and laughed.
A lazy smirk curled across Riggs' cheeks. “Are you using my own words against me, princess?” She certainly was mocking him. He knew that much.
“Maybe.” She bit her lip. “But you are the first one I’ve seen fall for it.”
“I fear I have had quite the influence on you,” he murmured.
When the sun shone, she was reserved, but under the moon’s glow, she came alive. She was a beautiful, rare thing.
My shadow, shifter princess.
Esemeray yawned, curling her fingers into his tunic, and pulling him closer. “We didn’t get any sleep last night.”
“I don’t mind losing sleep for you.” Riggs couldn’t help his grin, couldn’t stop the thought of his tongue between her legs?—
She yawned again, a yawn that made Riggs yawn.
“Come on, princess, let’s get you to bed.”
Riggs led her to his tent, fluffing up the bedroll for her. “You can sleep in any form you’d like.”
She chewed on her lip. “Any form?”
“I want you to be comfortable.” Riggs motioned to the bed. “I’m on watch tonight, so I’ll be out there. I’ll wake you in the morning.” Before Killian wakes.
“I can keep you company,” Esemeray said, fidgeting with her cloak strings.
“And have you not sleep?” Riggs shook his head. “No way.”
He also needed sleep, but he’d rather it be her. Riggs burned the midnight oil during his studies anyhow. He’d survive.
Sighing, Esemeray slumped into the bedroll.
Riggs covered her with a blanket. “Rest…okay?” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “In the morning you can be my little mouse again, or bird, or perhaps a frog.” Riggs chuckled. “I’d call you, Mrs. Froggy.”
Esemeray’s features softening, eyes drooping. “Mrs. Froggy?”
“You can sing in my ear all day.” Riggs bobbed his head, singing terribly, “Ribbit, ribbit.” He snapped his fingers. “Ribbit, ribbit.”
Esemeray huffed a suppressed laugh, her voice trembling, “You are such a goof.”
“Goodnight, Esemeray.” Riggs stood, reaching for the tent flap?—
“Riggs, wait.” Her voice cracked. “Don't leave…”
He turned, his chest tightening. The fire provided enough light to see her face, and tears rimming her eyes.
How did I not notice? He rushed to her, his heart sinking. “What is it?”
She let out a small sob, curling the blanket toward her face. “I miss him.”
He prayed it wasn’t her betrothed she missed. Keeping calm, he lay next to her, stroking her shoulder, and asked in a gentle whisper, “Do you want to talk about it?”
She sniffled, wiping at her nose. “He’s dead because of me.”
His stomach hollowed.
“Who?” His voice weakened.
“My friend…Mr.—”
Riggs went quiet for a moment, considering his next choice of words.
He understood her pain, and he hoped he could bring her ease.
He spoke slowly, “As much as we want to. We can’t blame ourselves.
” He wiped her tears away with his thumb.
“I lost a friend too.” Riggs was silent, focusing on the crickets chirping peacefully in the distance.
“My friend Ryker got sick.” He cleared his throat, his nose stinging and eyes swelling.
“He’s why I started researching cures.” Riggs swallowed, painfully admitting, “Because I could have saved him.” His voice broke.
“And I blamed myself for a long, long time.”
He had never admitted that to anyone.
Not even himself.
“How did you stop?” Her lips wobbled. “Blaming yourself?”
“I had to let go… I told myself his death would save millions, and instead of allowing the pain to consume me, I try to make his death mean something.” Riggs' face softened. “The truth is, it’s the only way. Not to forget them, but to honor their life.” A small, sad smile.
“When I figure out the cure, I plan to name it Ryker.”
“You are going to figure it out…” Esemeray cupped his cheek. “I know you will.” She paused, her lips quivering, “You seem so happy…”
“I hide behind my smile, my laugh.” Truthfully, it was easier that way. Easier for everyone, for Killian. He’d be damned to burden anyone with his sorrows.
“You don’t have to hide from me.”
Riggs took in her words, letting them soak in. He placed his hand over hers, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. “Who was your friend?”
“I—” She let out a sobbed laugh. “He was only a mouse.” More tears streamed down her face. “His name…Mr. Pebbles.”
Riggs held her tighter, caressing her hair. “Mouse or not, he still had a soul. A soul you connected with. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out, Esemeray.”
Of course she’d befriended a rodent.
Princess Esemeray was undeniably unique. Shadows or not, she had a heart of gold.
Riggs pushed her hair out of her eyes. “Let’s carry his spirit to the heavens…together.”
“Carry his spirit?” Esemeray’s brows drew together. “How?”
He had done it for Ryker, and now, he will do it for Mr. Pebbles—for her.
Riggs stood, extending his hand. “Come, and then we will get you to bed.”
Riggs brought her to a field full of flowers. He collected twigs, built a cross, and placed it in the soil.
Holding his hand over his heart, and with his other, he intertwined his fingers with hers.
He cleared his throat, and began, “May Mr. Pebbles rest, and may his soul be carried to the brightest star in the sky.” He looked at her, and smiled.
“With a connection as pure as you two shared, he will find his way back to you, in his form, or another.”
Esemeray nodded, her watery eyes glistening beneath the moonlight. “Do you think he will? Come back to me?”
His throat worked. “I believe when a bond is formed between two souls, they naturally find one another again.” He shrugged. “It’s physics.”
Her hand slipped from his, and she plucked a flower, twisting it between her fingers.
She glanced toward the heavens, her voice softer, quieter, “Mr. Pebbles, however long it takes, I will wait for you. I love you.” Her voice broke on the last part.
She fell to the ground, placing the flower along the cross, bowing her head.
Riggs kneeled, holding her while she cried.
Each sob struck his heart like a hammer on a sword, until, he too, was crying with her.
Riggs' tears fell, seeping into the soil, and he knew a piece of his soul was going with it. Riggs prayed to all five gods, they heard their cries, and prayed their message was carried away to the ones who didn’t get to live long enough.
To Mr. Pebbles, and Ryker.