71. Killian
KILLIAN
The moonlight reflected off the water, illuminating the surface and offering a sense of clarity, but no matter how peaceful the waters were, the lake hollowed his thoughts, hypnotizing him.
He knew it was Rouskla’s lure—the way she captured prey.
Killian shook his head, clearing his mind. He looked behind his shoulder for only a second and scowled at the sight. Izara was alive, tied up and blindfolded. Even if all he wanted to do was end Izara himself—he couldn’t.
He’d never kill a woman.
His eyes landed back on the lake. Every passing second waiting for a ripple or bubble felt like a lifetime. Killian paced along the shore, every second of the unknown was torture. For the first time in a long while, he felt useless, hopeless.
Any second, any second, any?—
He froze in place, blinking
A body floated to the surface. His eyes widened, heart leaping into his throat.
Real. The body is real.
Time slowed as he ran, his heart cracking with every thrust of his calves.
Cold water surrounded every inch of him as Killian dove into the lake and swam toward the floating figure. Each stroke of his arms and every kick of his legs was easy, the grace as he moved through the water was easy, but the racing thoughts passing though his mind were not.
Please don’t be Riggs.
Please don’t be Riggs.
Please don’t be Riggs.
Please gods please, don’t let it?—
His breathing faltered, hands trembling as he turned the cold, bloody body over.
His entire world shattered.
Riggs.
Killian didn’t have time to weep, didn’t have time to do anything. Killian slid his arm around Riggs' stiff torso, and swam back to shore with every ounce of strength he had.
“Don’t you die on me!” Killian shouted, his limbs trembling. He couldn’t feel him breathing, didn’t feel him moving beneath his hold. He glanced between the shore and Riggs' lifeless face. He refused to believe it—didn’t want to believe it.
“C’mon, Riggs, say something.” Killian swallowed his rising bile, fire erupting down his throat. “You’re joking right? This is just one of your jokes—” Killian choked, hot tears streaming down his face. “Say something, anything.”
Nothing but silence.
Regret swallowed his mind, and even though he was in the vast body of water, walls were closing in on him and constricting airflow to his lungs.
He can’t be?—
No.
No.
No.
Killian wasted no time pulling Riggs onto the damp sand, gently turning his head toward the sky. He tried not to look at his brother’s blue lips or the chunks of flesh hanging from his neck or the paleness throughout his skin.
He refused to imagine a world without him.
He would not lose him.
Not now.
Not ever.
Stacking his hands together, he placed his palm just below Riggs' heart and pumped until his arms ached, then lowered his mouth and breathed air into lungs.
One breath. Two.
He repeated the sequence, over and over. Killian ignored the blood spilling from Riggs' throat with every pump of his arms, ignored that his heart was no longer beating, ignored that he simply was not breathing.
“Breathe for me.” Killian refused to give up, his hands covered in blood as bone cracked under his panic. “C’mon, Riggs.”
Nothing.
He tried again, and again?—
Nothing.
Killian ran his hands through his hair, blood coating his strands, weeping, “No, no, no, no! This isn’t real, this isn’t real.
” He scooped Riggs into his arms, and screamed to the gods, “Don’t take him from me, please don’t take him!
” Killian begged with a sob, “I’ll do anything!
Please. I’ll do anything! Take me instead!
Take me! Take me—” Killian rocked back and forth, his chin pressed against Riggs' hair. “I can’t lose him, I can’t—I—he’s all I have, please, Please!
” Tears rolled down his face uncontrollably, his voice breaking.
“Come on, Riggs, time to wake up. Wake up—Wake up?—”
Killian pulled Riggs closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around him, and sobbed.
It wasn’t his time.
He wasn’t supposed to die.
Not like this.
Riggs deserved better.
Killian’s vocal cords ruptured as he screamed to the gods, cursing them for taking his brother, for taking the only person that made living possible.