Chapter Thirteen
Aila
I wish this wasn’t my backstory. I would give anything for that monster to be obliterated from my short history. But I made the mistake, and I have to live with it forever.
“It started off small in the beginning. He would get mad over something and just pop off. We were in my bedroom the first time he acted out—I can’t even remember what we were arguing about—and he kicked the lamp off the end table.
Like he was some kind of a Ninja, lifting his leg and pow! The lamp was shattered.”
Theron’s knuckles go white as he grips the bottle of special beer he drinks, but he doesn’t interrupt.
“He went into damage control mode immediately. Gaslighting me into blaming myself. ‘See what you made me do, babes? I swear you like to drive me crazy. Please let’s drop this. I’ll buy you a new lamp.
That one was fucking ugly anyway. You want to go shopping?
Let’s go shopping.’ And like a bimbo, I fell for it. ”
Even after all this time, I want to slap my face silly for the continual forgiveness and total trust I had in him.
“And after he found out he could buy my forgiveness and silence, it got worse.
He was several years older than me: twenty-two years old to my eighteen.
His parents sent him to Europe after high school graduation to acquire some ‘sophistication,’ that's why he was one year away from graduating. So he was able to mold me into accepting his behavior as normal, because I thought he knew better when it came to… everything.”
“And where was your mother in all this?”
My poor mom. She didn’t have a clue.
“My mom was hurting real bad after being dumped, and she didn’t want the same thing happening to me. She was blinded by my boyfriend’s family’s money and duped by my faking that everything was fine.”
“Until it wasn’t fine any longer?”
It’s like he knows. There’s no shame or embarrassment, because for some crazy reason, I feel protected from the consequences of my actions when I’m with Theron.
“Mom noticed before I knew what was happening. She took one look at the black eye he gave me one day and went ballistic. I tried telling her that the curtain rod had come loose and fallen on my face, but she called out my bullshit.”
No amount of money would be enough to stop my mom if she thought someone was hurting me.
“My mom banned him from our apartment. She knew I had to see the light on my own, so she didn’t force me to stop seeing him. But he never left visible marks on me again.”
“And when did you see the light?” Theron takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze.
It’s a neutral touch, nothing territorial or possessive in the way he does it.
A tiny fraction of my heart opens up like flower petals in the sun.
I like the rough texture of his skin; the prickling callouses of his fingertips.
“He tried so hard to reel me in. Introduced me to his parents. Summers at the Hampton compound. Private jets, luxury brand handbags, designer clothes. When he said we should get engaged, I was blindsided… because I hesitated.”
“Had you ever said no to him before?” Theron looks at me with curiosity. I guess he doesn’t have me down as some demure poolside princess.
“I’ll have to think about that, but I don’t think I ever did.
He was beyond angry when I said we should wait.
After that, there was no more hiding the abuse.
He kicked my butt in front of all the guests.
My mom came to fetch me and made all these threats.
When I got back to college, the campus was littered with naked prints of me.
The dean called me into the office with accusations of cheating and plagiarism.
The police came to the apartment with his family lawyer to get all the jewelry, designer clothes, and handbags back.
It was just easier after I volunteered to drop out. ”
It’s a relief to talk about it, like a festering secret being exposed to daylight.
“You wanna know something, Theron? It felt good to pack up and leave. Turning the page is highly therapeutic. I recommend it.”
He gives me a gorgeous lopsided smile, which makes me want to hug him.
“No need to tell me that, Aila. I never stay too long in one place when I’m away from Landslide. When did you realize that you weren’t in love with him anymore?”
I don’t have to think too deeply about it.
“Oh, believe me, I thought I was still in love with him for a long time after. But I didn’t like him anymore.
Sometimes, I would think about what he had done to me and my mom, and the bile would rise up in my throat.
I cried, sure, but it was more because I thought my first physical relationship had been a failure, which made me a failure. ”
Theron nods, although he looks like the last person who could ever be accused of being a failure.
Athletic, physically attractive, and kind of a sweetheart.
Very yummy, as well as being a mind-blowing good fuck.
The total package, if you ignore the fact that he’s probably a super-dangerous biker psycho underneath his charming appearance.
“Is that when you moved up to Canada?”
That makes me smile. “Yeah. And I changed my socials to my dad’s surname. It’s so weird hearing you referring to Canada like it’s a separate country from where we are now.”
“It is.” Taking two of my fingers, he holds them up to make a V-shape. “Here’s the States.” Theron strokes one finger. “And here’s Canada.” He strokes the other finger. “And here’s Landslide.” Slowly, he inserts his finger in between the two of mine.
The implication is clear. And very enticing. The way he does it makes me shiver with suspenseful pleasure under the veneer of playfulness.
“Believe me, Mr. Rabane, it doesn’t matter where you are. If the wealthy want to get you, they will. And if you have something of theirs that they want back, they will get it. Doesn’t matter where you live.”
Theron looks supremely confident as he points to the door. “Out there, that’s my domain, Aila. The Midnight Riders rule Landslide. And no, I’m not saying that like some arrogant prick. I’m saying it ‘cause it’s the truth.”
I’m slightly distracted by the muscles in his arm. I like the way his biceps and shoulder muscles stretch the t-shirt fabric. This man could be a real brute if he wanted, but he doesn’t scare me in that way.
But what do I know? Haven’t I just admitted that I’m a lousy judge of character?
Clapping my hands together, I hop down from the bar stool. I’m hungry for something other than sex. My last boink sesh with the divine Rider left me satisfied for now.
If I allow myself to indulge my sexual fantasies further, it might influence me into turning this working holiday into a holiday romance. And another complicated relationship with a man whom I suspect might be a de facto Dom is the last thing I need.
“You’re right about not leaving my mom under a cloud, Theron. And thanks for the friendly confessional.”
“Luna leaves the kitchen open in case the guests feel like a midnight snack, Aila. I suggest you try the Bovril.”
It’s like he can read my mind, because a gnawing hunger has been plaguing me since we hooked up in the grotto. But that’s not what makes me pause on my way out.
“What’s Bovril?”
That deep grunt of laughter makes me want to stay. I find this man’s reassuring presence so soothing.
“It’s a British sandwich spread. But you can also mix it into hot water and drink it like tea. It’s extract of beef stock and yeast. Really good for the blood. Lots of B vitamins and shit.”
“Good to know you have a sense of humor, Theron. Good night… and thanks.”
I’m woken up by my mom shaking me awake. I was dead to the world, in one of those deep sleeps that feel like death, but I shake it off and rub my eyes.
“Aila. Listen, I’m sorry about the fight. I don’t know why I lashed out like that. Nothing in the past was your fault. Life just has a way of happening whether we like it or not.”
My voice is raspy with exhaustion, but I also have to chuckle. “Jeez, Mom. Enough with the dime store philosophy. I’m sorry, too, ‘kay?”
She doesn’t get up off my bed. Mom sits there fiddling with her hands, hair, and clothing. I wait. She’s got news, but she’s unsure if it’s good or bad yet.
“I’m moving in with Ben, Aila. He asked me and I said yes. We’re going to start a physical—”
Groaning, I sit up while making the stop sign. “Ugh! Mom, please. We discussed this. I don’t need the details, just the facts.” Pinching my eyelids, I make sure my head is clear. “How do you know he’s not proffering the invite so he can screw you for the summer and then boot you out in fall?”
My mom and I have a pact to do this to one another: scrutinize the man’s ulterior motive if the other person is too smitten to see it.
Mom doesn’t sleep with a man unless she’s living with him and a good many gifts have been presented to her.
She has standards. No one can call Amelia O’Hara a cheap fuck.
“He’s been a widower ten years, Aila. I’m the first woman he’s invited to share his home. He’s a gentleman. And…”
Extending her hand, Mom shows me the ring.
A vintage gold band with a sparkling diamond.
Nothing fancy, but it is quality, if a little basic.
I guess it’s a bit like my mom in that way.
She stares at the ring with fondness. “It was his poor wife’s engagement ring.
Ben says I can have the wedding band once we get married. ”
Shit. So it is serious. Mom continues.
“I knew from the start. We both did. Next ferry that’s heading north, we’re going to Winnipeg to have a registry wedding.”
And so you can rub your ring in Laura’s and Michelle’s faces.
“We’re going to Niagara Falls for the honeymoon, and then we’re arranging for some new furniture to be delivered.”
No, you don’t like Ben’s stuff, so you want to replace it with furniture and fittings that are more your style.
“Who’s going to be looking after Ben’s ranch during his absence?”
Mom shakes her head. “It’s not a ranch, it’s an organic farm. Ben will have someone. God knows one of those unemployed bikers could step up.” Fiddling with the ring on her finger again, Mom doesn’t look at me as she talks.
“That Theron Hunter guy buttonholed me in the bar, trying to find out why you use your father’s name on your socials.
He’s dead scary, Aila. You should watch out.
God knows you’re beautiful. Your father was drop dead gorge, too, like a young Rafael Amaya.
But you seem to attract a certain type of man with those good looks of yours. ”
“I didn’t know I had a ‘psychos welcome’ mat strapped to me, Mom, but thanks for the heads up. And you don’t have to worry about Theron. I told him about…”
I don’t finish the rest of my sentence. I can’t even bear to say my ex’s name. He had me so spooked for so long, I wouldn’t even stand in front of the bathroom mirror with the lights off and say his name three times. In my mind, my ex is worse than the Candyman.
Mom hesitates, like she’s got more on her mind that she needs to offload. But instead, she shrugs and sighs. “I love Landslide, baba. No Wi-Fi for most of the time and only old Monty bringing the guests over. You’ll be safe here.”
It’s been so long since my na?ve early twenty-somethings. I’m a big girl now. Why is my mom still worried about my ex?
“I canceled all of my social media accounts before we left to catch the ferry. You’re the only person I message anyway.
” Giving my mom a hug, it feels nice when she hugs me back.
“If this is what will make you happy, Mom, I say go for it. Don’t worry about me.
I have a summer job, and Theron says he’ll give me a ride back to the mainland before fall. ”
Lowering her voice, Mom sniffs back a tear. “How will you survive without me to protect you, Aila? This feels wrong.”
Flopping back against my pillows, I stifle a laugh. “We can’t be paranoid forever, Mom. Go to bed.”
Again she hesitates but moves away when I place a pillow over my ear and close my eyes.
I’m not going back to sleep, though. I’m too excited for that. A whole world of opportunities has opened up before me. Now that I don’t have to worry about my mom anymore, I can go anywhere and do anything. Shacking up with Theron is off the table as I think long-term about travel.
Europe to work as an au pair.
South America to hang with my father, his wife, and my three half-siblings.
Working my way around the world on a cruise liner.
Teaching English in China.
Picking grapes in New Zealand and Australia.
How did the Riders motto go again? The dead travel fast. Quite prophetic. Only I am very much alive.
For the first time in my life, I feel free. Landslide can be my launching pad to global exploration.