Chapter 76
Poppy trembled once in his arms, a small, involuntary shiver, and Mingxi tightened his hold without thinking. Her cheek rested against his chest, right over his heartbeat. Too trusting. Too open. Too unaware of how easily he could fail her.
Lysandra’s whisper still echoed through the clearing like a bruise:
She breaks quietly.
Your silence will feel like rejection.
She will think she is the reason you hold back.
Withholding is how she learned she wasn’t wanted.
Every word carved deeper.
His silence had always been his shield. His distance, a discipline. His restraint, a sacred oath to do no harm. But thanks to Lysandra, he understood he had been measuring safety the wrong way. Because for Poppy, for the girl who’d grown up mistaking indifference for normal, quiet was not comfort.
Quiet was abandonment.
Mingxi exhaled once through his nose, the breath unsteady despite his control. Caelan was still crouched over Lysandra’s unconscious form. The fire hissed softly, but all Mingxi could focus on was the weight of Poppy against him.
She didn’t know what the Devouring One meant. Didn’t recognize the cold terror that name carried. Didn’t understand why he and Caelan had gone still. She only knew fear, and she had turned into him, not away.
His tails tightened reflexively around her, awareness settling like an ache beneath his ribs.
She trusts me.
More deeply than she should.
More blindly than is wise.
If Lysandra’s warning held truth, and his instincts told him it did, then even that trust could break her.
His restraint was meant to protect her, but if he was not careful, if he hid too much, if he kept his distance out of fear or discipline, that distance would cut her deeper than any blade.
He lowered his head until his cheek brushed against her hair, a gesture so small he doubted she’d feel it consciously.
I will not be another wound you carry quietly.
I will not be the silence that breaks you.
I will not let my restraint become your fear.
He looked down at her sleeping face, her lashes damp with tears of exhaustion.
Lysandra’s final whisper tightened around his spine:
She deserves someone who steps forward. Not someone who stands still.
He swallowed. Stepping forward was dangerous. For her. For him. For the Council. But standing still…
Standing still might destroy her.
He would rather unravel every oath he’d ever sworn than see her fold in on herself because of him. He tightened his arms around her—just enough to let her feel it. A promise made in silence, but not that kind of silence. A vow.
I choose you.
Not later. Not when it’s safe.
Now. Quietly. Fiercely. Completely.
He breathed into her hair, and the words slipped out, almost without sound, “I will not fail you.”
Poppy didn’t answer. She slept on, trusting him completely, and Mingxi held her closer than he ever intended to, because for the first time, he understood just how much she needed someone who wouldn’t let go.
Not this time.
Not ever again.