Moose Chapter 6
It had been a week since our return from Texas and eleven days since I saw Zisa. As much as I didn’t want to do it, I knew it was time to give up. She hadn’t answered Sara, and no one was able to find her. What did I expect? A first name and a whole state to sift through. According to Maestro, no one with a Kansas driver’s license was named Zisa. I didn’t ask how he got access. I didn’t care.
I had to shake my apathy. I wasn’t sleeping, my work wasn’t at its best, and I was short-tempered with everyone. The other night, I’d been in the common room having a few drinks. When one of the hangers who came to party with us approached me and offered sex, I’d said no. When she didn’t take no for an answer, I yelled at her to leave me the fuck alone. I knew if I didn’t get my ass straightened out soon, Carnage would do it.
It was as if I made it manifest by thinking of it yesterday. I was called into his office this morning. I knew I was in for more than an ass-chewing. A fine would be in my future if I kept acting this way and fucking up at work.
Carnage had his house on the compound but kept an office in the clubhouse. He, Clutch, and Howler were the only ones with houses. They were all in neat rows behind the clubhouse but at a distance that let them have privacy and not be annoyed by the noise. If the partying woke up their kids, Howler and Clutch would be pissed, and so would their old ladies.
I’d been summoned with a text. When I got to his office door, I found it open. I paused to knock on it and wait to be invited in. His expression wasn’t inviting when he lifted his head and gestured for me to enter. Without him saying it, I closed the door. I could do without everyone hearing me get my ass chewed.
“Have a seat,” he said in his deep, booming voice. Even when he was softly talking, it boomed. I sat.
“Listen, Pres, I know what you’re gonna say, and I want you to know, I agree. I’ll straighten my ass up. No more fucking off or yelling at people.”
Before I could continue, he jumped in. “You’re goddamn right that you’ll stop yelling and fucking off. Everyone is over you, snapping their heads off. And your work isn’t up to par, and that’s not like you. Christ, you’re the last one I ever thought would let a woman affect him to this extent.”
“Fuck, I know, me either. It’s my problem. When we get done here, I’ll go tell Maestro to stop trying to find her. She obviously didn’t want anything more than one night. If she did, she would’ve hung around or left me a way to contact her.” Even saying it made my chest hurt.
“Moose, I’m a lot older than you. There’ve been a couple of women with whom I wished I’d had more than a night or two, but I’ve never had one hit me as hard as this Zisa has you. You fucking remind me of Daredevil when he came up here and chased after Shain. Hell, Howler and Clutch love their women but don’t act that way. I don’t know why she left without a word. You could be right about only wanting a night. But if nothing else, I’ve learned in my fifty years that women rarely make sense to men. They have these convoluted, multiple-level thinking brains. They’re not logical like us.” He paused before continuing.
“I’m not saying to give up. I’m saying to get your shit in order. Don’t isolate yourself from your brothers. Don’t half-ass your work. Don’t snap heads off or chase the poor hangers away unless they truly deserve it. Who knows, there might just be a lucky break waiting to happen. And you may find she did want more than a night, but there were extenuating circumstances.”
I sighed. “Thanks, but I doubt it, Carnage. But I’ll get my head screwed back on straight as of today. If you need to fine me or whatever, I get it. Just let me know what it is I need to do.”
“I’m not fining you or anything else unless it continues or you relapse.”
“I appreciate it. I know you’re busy. Is there anything else we need to discuss while I’m here?”
He opened his mouth but was interrupted by a rapid knocking on the door. He gave me a puzzled look and hollered, “Come in before you beat the door down.”
The door opened, and in rushed Maestro. I stood up to leave. It was obvious he had something important to talk about with Carnage. I was taken aback when he shook his head and addressed Carnage and then me.
“Sorry for the interruption, Pres. And you, stay. I heard you were in here with the pres, but I knew this shouldn’t wait. Are you two done? Can I steal him?”
My entire body came alive. Was he here to tell me he found her? I gave Carnage an imploring look. He glanced from me back to Maestro.
“Shut the door, sit, and spill. I assume it’s about Zisa. Tell us what you found,” he ordered.
Swiftly, Maestro had the door closed and his ass in the chair. He was carrying his tablet with him. He used it when he had to be mobile, and it didn’t require a lot of typing. His face was covered with a smug grin.
“I did find her. And yes, you owe me, brother. It seems Zisa is a shortened form of her actual name, Azisa. Her last name is Adams. She lives in Salina, Kansas. Her sister’s name is Zuriah, Zuri for short. Her mom is Shantel Adams.”
“Jesus Christ, we don’t need her entire history, just her address. How did you find this?” I asked impatiently.
“I think you do need to know her history because it’s important. Her mom raises her nieces for a reason. The older sister is a drug addict. She gave up her kids when they were barely one and newborn. Shantel isn’t just their legal guardian. She adopted them. Zisa adores them and her mom and helps her raise and care for them. Her poor mom works two jobs. Not that it’s anything new for her. She’s been doing it since her daughters were small and their dad left them. He didn’t help her with his kids.”
Anger tightened my fists. I hated people who didn’t support their kids. Even if you and the one you were with didn’t work out, those were your children.
“Bastard,” Carnage muttered.
“Exactly. I’m telling you this because it may explain why she left, and if you’re serious about wanting to pursue something with her, there’s more than distance to contend with. There’s no way she’ll want to leave her mom and nieces there. You’ll have to find a way to get them all to move if you two work out. Here, let me show you.” He tapped on his tablet and then handed it to me.
It was a picture of Zisa, her mom, and nieces. All of them were beautiful. I saw where she got her looks. Her mom was an extra fine woman and didn’t appear old enough to have daughters Zisa and Zuri’s age. They all had their arms around each other, smiling. You could feel the love for each other coming off the picture. Carnage wiggled his fingers, so I handed it to him. Maestro was right. It was more complicated than I thought. We might be getting ahead of ourselves, but I like to be prepared.
I saw Carnage startle, then his brow furrow as he stared at their picture. I wasn’t sure why. When I tried to take it back, he wouldn’t let go. Leaving it in his hands, I turned back to Maestro. “How did you find her?”
He grinned. “I found her on social media. It was the regular group that Sara had access to. When I couldn’t find her any other way, like the DMV, I started to read it. That led to the name of the group she has for subscribers. It gets them extra content, educational information, and more for a nominal fee. I used one of my fake profiles and asked to join. Once she accepted me, I got to digging. I got her return address for her merchandise. It gave me the town and her name, which allowed me to find her. I have her actual address, not her PO box. She’s lived in Salina her entire life. Her mom and the girls live a couple of miles away.”
“Shit, I don’t know what to say. Thank you isn’t enough. Send me the address and this weekend, I’ll go see her. We need to talk. If nothing else, she owes me an explanation for why she ran out. And I get what you mean about her family.” It would probably kill me to wait, but after the talk with Carnage, I knew running off in the middle of my work week wasn’t acceptable.
“I know you don’t wanna wait, Moose, but take the next few days to think it through and to get ahead at work. Assuming she doesn’t chase you off the second she sees you, I figure you’ll wanna stay more than two days. Now, you two get outta here so I can get some work done. Oh, and Maestro, send me the information you have on them and the picture.”
“Sure, Pres,” he said slowly. He was at a loss as to why Carnage would want it, but he nor I would ask.
Exiting the office it was all I could do to contain myself. Maestro assured me he’d text me the information in a few minutes once he returned to his desk. Giving him a back-slapping hug, I left him to get my ass to work. I was smiling and whistling as I walked out to my bike.
???
By the time Saturday morning came, I not only was prepared to go, but I had company. Last night, Carnage sought me out and told me he was coming with me. His excuse was that no one should take a ride that far alone. The other was he’d be available in case I needed help to convince Zisa and her mom that there was no risk to us being together. If we worked out, yes, we’d have to make changes in our lives. While I hoped she’d be willing to move to Norfolk so I wouldn’t have to transfer my patch to a chapter of the Regulators in Kansas close to her, which there were a couple, I wasn’t totally ruling it out. Carnage seemed to know this instinctively and wanted to make sure it didn’t happen, I guess. No one could ever accuse him of being stupid.
Fender and a couple of others offered to ride along, but Carnage told them no. He promised he wouldn’t cramp my game with Zisa. There was a chapter in Topeka, which was just over a hundred miles from Salina. He said he’d go spend time with them. It had been ages since he saw any of them in person.
It was less than a four-hour ride without weather or traffic issues to get from Norfolk to Salina. In the scheme of things, it wasn’t a terrible distance. If it meant I got to see her while we got to know each other, I’d gladly make the trip as often as possible. Usually, the weekends were mine unless we had an unexpected job come up.
We got on the road at eight on Saturday. The guys were there to see us off. They made us promise to call if we needed anything. Typically, we’d make a long haul with a truck following us, driven by a prospect, in case we broke down. However, just like going to Texas, we didn’t this time. We’d take our chances.
Over the last few days, I’d thought long and hard about what I wanted and what changes I might need to make if Zisa and I made this work. Besides the question of where to live, I’d contemplated if I was willing to take on a role not only as an old man but as an uncle to her nieces. There was no way I wouldn’t be with them being such a large part of hers. It would be like hooking up with a woman who had kids. I’d end up being an uncle soon to Shain’s kids. Why not more? I’ve always enjoyed spending time with children.
Assuming Zisa moved to Norfolk, we’d have to figure out our living situation. She might be willing to stay with me in my suite for a short while, but not forever. Which meant a house would need to be built. I wouldn’t be comfortable if she didn’t want to live on the compound. It was the safest. However, she’d undoubtedly want to be close to her mom and the girls if they moved, too. Maybe I should ask Carnage if the club would be okay with them having a house on the property. It was a thought.
Was I getting ahead of myself? Yes, but it was better to think of these than not to and have them creep up on you. I needed to have answers if Zisa tried to use those as excuses not to give me a chance.
The ride was a good one. The weather was nice, with the sun shining and no rain or snow. We stopped once before hitting Kansas in Osceola to grab a drink. It was the halfway point between us and them. I’d mapped it out. If Zisa was willing to have a long-distance relationship, maybe we could meet halfway sometimes.
We made it before noon. Stopping in town, we found a hotel. Unsure of what was to come, we got one room with double beds. One look at us, and the clerk was willing to let us check in early. Carnage said he’d hang there while I went to see Zisa. He said I needed to get her to agree to bring her family to dinner tonight. I wasn’t sure that was a good idea, but I knew not to tell my president no. I wasn’t sure why he insisted, but I’d pass it along to her, assuming I got the opportunity.
As I rode over to her place, my nerves increased. What if she refused to speak to me? Or slammed the door in my face? Never had a woman made me this insecure before. I had confidence out the ass when it came to women, usually, but Zisa made me feel like a bumbling kid.
According to Maestro, she rented a tiny house. When I arrived, I checked out her neighborhood. There were houses down a long, winding street. Most were larger than hers. The yards were dead since spring hadn’t officially started yet. The homes seemed to be in good repair, which made me think it was a decent neighborhood. If she’d been living in a dangerous area, I wouldn’t be able to handle it.
Parking my bike in her driveway, I wiped my sweaty hands on my thighs before walking to her door. She might not be home. If she wasn’t, I’d wait for her to return. I rang her doorbell and waited for her to answer. After a minute without an answer, I rang it again. I was about to give up and sit on my bike when the door opened cautiously. Instead of seeing her, I saw one of her nieces peeking out at me through the small crack she made in the door. I thought it was the oldest one, Milan.
“Hi, is your aunt home?” I asked, smiling. I knew I was intimidating based on size alone.
“Yes. Who are you?” she asked timidly.
“I’m her, uhm, friend. My name is Moose. Would you go get her, please?”
I saw her sister come up to hide behind her. She was peeking around her and staring at me with huge, round eyes.
“I’ll go get her,” Milan said before she closed the door.
I heard her lock it. Good girl, although she shouldn’t have opened the door at all. We’d have to teach her that. It was several minutes before the door opened again. When it did, Zisa was standing there. She wore an apprehensive expression. She was biting her lower lip. All I desired was to soak up her essence after two weeks of not having her.
“Moose, what’re you doing here? How did you get my address?”
“It took a lot of work to find it. You didn’t make it easy. As for why I’m here, we need to talk. You left without giving me a chance to talk to you about something. Can I come in?”
“I-I can’t talk right now. My nieces are here.”
“I know they are. If you can’t talk now, then when? What time are they going home?”
“They, uhm, not until my mama gets off work.” Seeing her unsure bolstered me.
“And what time is that?”
I had news for her. She wasn’t getting rid of me that easily. Even with the way she was talking to me, I saw the way she was checking me out. Her gaze was heated, even though she was struggling to hide it. I moved closer to the door.
“Zisa, I’ve come all this way and won’t leave until we talk. I can leave and come back this evening after they leave, or I can hang out until they do. Regardless, Carnage insists that you, them, your mom, and I all have dinner tonight.”
“Carnage? Why is he here? Is anyone else from the club?” she asked in shock.
“He came in case I needed backup. He wants to meet your family, and so do I.”
“Moose, I don’t get this. Why would you come all this way?” she whispered.
“Because we’re not done.”
Her eyes widened. I wished I knew what was running through her mind. She must’ve seen by my expression and the fact I rode four hours to see her that I meant what I said. I wasn’t leaving. It was presumptuous, but short of her calling the law on me or locking herself away from me, I insisted we speak about why she ran.
She glanced behind her and then back at me. I knew the moment she made her decision. She stood taller and stopped fidgeting. “I’ll ask if Mama wants to. She may be too tired after working. Either way, when the girls are back with her, I’ll let you know so we can talk. Where should we meet?”
“Honey, this needs to be done in private. We can do it here or at my hotel. Surely, you know that you have nothing to be scared of. I’d never harm you. You can be alone with me, Zisa.”
“I’m not afraid of you. Okay, give me your number so I can text you with the answer from Mama and for later.”
I handed her my phone. She had no idea I already had her number. I was testing her to see if she’d try to ghost me. When she gave it back to me, I checked it out. It was the same one. Slipping it into my cut, I couldn’t stop myself from running my finger down her cheek. Damn, as soft as I remembered.
“I’ll see you later,” I said softly.
I had to fight not to kiss her. As I walked away, I felt her stare boring into my back. Getting back on my bike, I decided to go to the hotel and see if Carnage was up for a short ride while we waited. If I sat in the hotel, I’d go nuts.
I was in luck. He was all for it. Carnage wasn’t a man who sat around doing nothing. We went for a ride to get familiar with Salina and see what it was like. It wasn’t a bad place. It was about twice the size of Norfolk. I hoped that wouldn’t deter her from wanting to live there.
By the time we made it back to the hotel, it was after three. I had been checking my phone on and off the whole ride, and nothing. I did it again after we got back to our room. I sucked in a breath seeing a message from her. I opened it.
Zisa: Mama’s home. Agreed to dinner, but has to be early. Girls have a sleepover tonight at a friend’s house. Is around five too early?
“Her mom said yes, but we’ve got to do it around five. The kids have a sleepover tonight,” I told Carnage.
“Works for me. Ask if they have a preference for a place or type of food. Any dislikes or allergies?”
I quickly typed it out and sent it. I anxiously waited for her to answer. While I did, I paced. Five minutes later, she replied.
Zisa: No allergies. Not picky. We all eat just about anything other than sushi. You can pick a place if you want. Any preferences on your end?
I let him know what she said.
“I did some searching while you were gone. There’s a steak place not far from here that has a ton of good ratings, and they have burgers and other things. Ask if Marco’s Steakhouse works for them. I made a reservation, just in case they had no preference. I made it for five-thirty,” Carnage said. And that was an example of why he was president. He was always thinking ahead and making contingency plans.
Me: Marco’s Steakhouse good? 5:30?
This time, her answer was faster.
Zisa: Works for us. See you there at 5:30.
Me: See you then.
“They’ll meet us there.”
“Good. Well then, I guess we should get ourselves showered,” he replied.
I let him go ahead. As he showered, I sat there trying to relax. When it was my turn, I let the hot water run down my body. Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t stop myself from growing hard at the thought of her. Deciding fuck it, I soaped up my hand and stroked from root to tip, where I twisted my fist around the head. I had to fight not to groan out loud. Picturing how she looked, smelled, felt, and tasted that night in Frisco, it didn’t take long for my balls to draw up and for me to empty my load down the drain. I tugged until every last drop was wrung out of me. With temporary relief, I hurried to finish my shower so I could get dressed.
When I walked out of the shower with my towel around my waist, Carnage shook his head. “Took you long enough. Let me guess. You were jerking off. You’d better make sure you cleaned that shit out of the shower, fucker.”
I shrugged. “Maybe I did. If so, I won’t leave you any surprises. What’s wrong? Jealous?” I joked.
He snorts. “Son, I can get it up just as much as ever, and I bet I shoot a bigger load. Nothing to be jealous of unless it’s on your end.”
“Keep telling yourself that.”
We razzed each other while I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and shined my head with the moisturizing aftershave polish I used. I even put on a spritz of cologne. I waited for Carnage to tease me about it, but he didn’t. When I passed him and got a whiff of him, I realized he was wearing it, too. What the hell?
I’d brought my best casual clothes with me. I didn’t get dressed up unless it was major. For example, Shain and Daredevil’s wedding might require me to wear something other than my best shirt and jeans. For this trip, I got out my newest pair of jeans. They were black and still stiff. I paired them with a short-sleeved button-down shirt. It was black, too. With my boots and cut, I was dressed head to toe in it.
Checking out Carnage, I was surprised. He was dressed in dark blue jeans, which were clearly new, like mine. As if we coordinated it, he had the same kind of shirt I had on, except his shirt was dark red. A closer look showed his beard had been tamed. His long hair was slicked back in a half knot. His hair was to his shoulders, and he wore the top half pulled back on occasion. This was one of them.
I was totally one hundred percent hetero, but I had eyes and could acknowledge when another man was attractive. Carnage was one. He gave off his don’t-fuck-with-me vibe, but he still attracted the ladies and some men. He was still in excellent shape, for a man who was fifty. His blond hair barely showed any gray, while his beard had more strands that were noticeable.
His green eyes could stare into a man’s soul, or it felt that way when you were on the receiving end. He ruled our club fairly but firmly. He might be gruff, but he cared. Combine all that with his size and you had a very intimidating man. Carnage was only an inch shorter than my six foot four. He was a hulking guy like me. I could see people thinking of him as a bear. And if they knew how he got his road name, they’d really think it. No one better mess with what was his or what he saw as right. He would fuck you up. I was pulled from my contemplation of him when he walked over and slapped me on the back. I almost stumbled. For a guy my size, that told you how strong he was.
“We’d better get our asses to the restaurant. It’s at least a fifteen-minute ride. We don’t want to be late.”
“Let’s go,” was all I said.
As we straddled our rides, butterflies began to flutter in my gut. Shit, I sounded like a woman. I’d never admit this, or Shain would say I had a vagina. It was an inside joke with us. She’d warned me one day that I’d want to talk about my feelings. I’d told her in the past, only someone with a vagina did. Christ, I hoped I wasn’t about to prove her right. I’d never hear the end of it from her or the club. Revving my engine to show I was still a man, we took off. Butterflies would remain my secret.