Chapter 21 #2
Mrs Bennet harrumphed at that, but she was fully engaged in the business of the wedding and turned away to direct matters with renewed energy.
There were arrangements still to be confirmed for the wedding breakfast, a handful of messages to be sent to the few neighbours who had requested an invitation after the announcement on Sunday, and a dozen small decisions to be made, each of which seemed, to her, of the utmost importance.
Almost always, Mrs Gardiner was near, attempting to calm her, and, for the most part, being successful in doing so.
Jane was often standing beside Mrs Gardiner, assisting with the various lists, while Mary and Georgiana had been supplied with a basket of early blooms gathered that morning.
Together, they set about arranging them—some for the breakfast table, and a smaller selection to be reserved for Elizabeth herself.
Mrs Annesley was with them, giving guidance on how to create the various bouquets.
“I think these will do for Lizzy,” Mary said, holding up a small cluster.
“They are very pretty,” Georgiana replied, with a quiet smile. “She will like them, I am sure. These roses are lovely, and the sprigs of lavender and sweet peas go very nicely with the others.”
“Here, this ribbon will do nicely,” Mary said, handing her one that was an emerald green that Elizabeth had worn at the Netherfield ball. Elizabeth saw it and smiled. Mary could not understand the significance, but she did, and she would be sure to point it out to Fitzwilliam on the morrow.
Their efforts were careful and deliberate, and though neither claimed much skill in arranging flowers before that day, the result was pleasing. Elizabeth loved that her wedding bouquet was being made by her sister and her soon-to-be sister, and was once again pleased at how well the two got along.
Kitty, meanwhile, had undertaken to remake a bonnet for the following morning, her attention wandering at intervals but her determination to be useful evident.
The gown for the wedding was hanging nearby, and Elizabeth observed Kitty staring at it on several occasions as she searched in the basket for ribbons that suited it.
“This one, perhaps?” Kitty said, holding up another length of the green ribbon uncertainly.
“It will do extremely well,” Elizabeth replied, smiling at her sister. Kitty looked pleased, and Elizabeth had little desire to explain her amusement just then.
Elizabeth found herself called upon repeatedly—at first commanded to stand still while her gown was examined, then to answer some question from her mother, and again to give her opinion on matters she had scarcely considered, nor that she believed carried much weight.
Even the simplest things required thought, and there was little time to spare.
By the time the light began to fade, the flowers had been arranged, the principal decisions made, and there was, at last, some sense that all which could be accomplished had been done.
It was then that Elizabeth turned her attention to packing the remainder of her things. After dinner, instead of joining the family in the drawing room, she slipped upstairs to her room, determined to finish what she had begun.
She had been at her task perhaps a quarter of an hour when she heard a knock at the door. At her call to enter, she was surprised to see Jane upon the threshold.
Jane offered her assistance, which Elizabeth accepted, and for some time they worked in silence. It was Jane who broke it at last.
“Lizzy, forgive me,” she said quietly, her attention fixed upon the garments she was folding.
Elizabeth paused, her hands stilling. “For what, Jane?”
“For allowing myself to be deceived,” Jane said.
“Not only by Caroline Bingley’s words, but by my own willingness to believe them.
I ought to have known better. I did know better.
” She faltered slightly, then continued, “I have always trusted you, and yet I allowed myself to question you—when I had no real cause to do so.”
Elizabeth did not immediately reply.
“I think,” Jane went on, more softly, “that I wished there to be some explanation that did not require me to reconsider what I thought I understood of others. It was easier to believe her than to accept that I had been so mistaken before. Not only that, but the sight of the Darcys at our door in the midst of an almost scandal, well, I did not know what to think and chose to believe the worst.”
She set aside the garment in her hands, although she still did not look up. “It was wrong of me.”
For a moment, Elizabeth remained still. She had already forgiven her sister, yet she could not help but wonder whether the ease they had once shared would ever be entirely restored.
There was this distance between them now, and soon she would go far away to Pemberley, where Fitzwilliam would, quite naturally, become the person closest to her.
“I forgive you, Jane,” Elizabeth said at last, returning to her task.
“And I think I can understand, at least in part, how our sudden appearance might have surprised you into acting in a way you would not otherwise. You will always be welcome in my home, and if remaining here with Mama becomes too much, you need only write.”
Jane nodded. “I know that,” she said. “But I think I must remain here, particularly as all my other sisters will soon be leaving.”
Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, but Jane continued before she could.
“I think I must learn to look at people differently than I do now,” she said. “There is much about myself that I must come to understand, and I do not believe I could do so at Pemberley or in London. It must be here.”
Unable to find an argument against that, Elizabeth nodded before continuing packing.
The two spoke a little, but not much of import was said.
Finally, all of Elizabeth’s things that she would take into her new life were packed in the two trunks that stood in her room, and she looked around at the nearly empty room.
She was ready for the next step in her life.