Chapter Fourteen
“Yeah, I’m not wearing this.”
I look over at Maria holding up a T-shirt that says, “I got washed away at Sofia & Luciano’s Bach,” printed with some cheesy cartoon photos of them.
“This can’t possibly be Sofia’s handiwork,” I say, throwing the shirt on the bed in protest. “The entire wedding has been so bougie and extravagant. These shirts…the penis hats…the penis glasses. What is going on?”
“I am not wearing a dick on my head. It’s bad enough I have to put them in my—”
“I’m gonna stop you right there,” I groan.
Valentina comes out of the bathroom wearing the shirt with an exaggerated grin plastered across her face. This is the happiest I’ve seen her this entire week.
“Uh, you seem pretty pleased with the uniform for the bachelorette.”
“It’s pretty fantastic, isn’t it?”
Maria and I look at each other as if Valentina had been replaced with some random stranger.
“‘Fantastic’ is not the word I’d use,” Maria says.
“‘Heinous’ would be mine,” I chime in.
“‘Atrocious’ is mine,” Maria adds.
“Perfect.” Valentina smiles.
“For someone who has been so miserable, why is this penis adornment the thing that has shifted your mood?” I ask.
“Because, you guys, I’m the maid of honor.”
“Okay?” we both say in unison.
“I was in charge of the bach party.” She grins, showing off her entire look. The baseball cap has a small penis superglued to the lip, standing straight up. The shirt is oversized, not designer, and has the ugliest illustration of the couple I have ever seen.
“Valentina, was this part of your…plan?” I ask, side-eyeing her.
“No! Okay yes, it was. But I had decided on this long before I agreed not to do it anymore, so I need to follow through. Besides, I hadn’t planned anything else, and it’s too late to change it. It’s going to be great.”
“‘Great’ is also not the word I’d use,” Maria says. “But I can’t wait to see the look on Sofia’s face when everyone’s wearing these shirts and hats.”
“Oh, that’s not all,” Valentina laughs.
She pulls out a box from the closet and pours out a bunch of random stuff. There are bags of straws where the end you drink out of is a literal penis, and they’re all in different funky colors. There are glow-stick necklaces and face paint. There’s a “pin the penis on the man” board.
I gasp. “What the fuck?”
“I have never seen so much dick in one place in my entire life,” Maria laughs. “Well, there was that one time in Cabo—”
“Maria!” I shout.
“So what did you do? Look up the world’s cheesiest bachelorette decorations and buy everything listed?” Maria asks as she grabs the glow sticks and begins cracking a few to make herself a necklace.
“Actually, yes, I did. I was stressed about how to host and decorate the perfect bachelorette. I spent months trying to figure it out. She always does everything over the top, with the utmost elegance one could muster. So how could I possibly compete? Well, I finally decided the best way to ruin—I mean, enhance—the week was to do the complete opposite of what she’d expect.
I was nice enough to wait until the river-tubing activity to bring it all out. ”
Maria laughs. “Well, this is going to be interesting.”
River tubing is more my speed. There used to be this old water park where I lived called Splash City.
I didn’t get to go often when I was younger because my parents couldn’t afford it, but one year, I was finally able to go, and I fell in love.
I was too scared to go on any of the more dangerous water slides, and my mother would absolutely forbid it.
However, the one ride I would go on over and over again was called the Lazy River.
It lasted about twenty minutes, but I’d go on it for hours.
I would bring a drink and put it in the cup holder.
I sneaked in a packet of Goldfish once, but I accidentally dropped it in the water.
The workers were furious, but all the guests laughed as they watched the crackers swim in the river like fish.
I imagine this will be a lot like that, with just a little bit of turbulence in some parts, I’m sure. Easy.
But standing next to the river now feels intimidating.
The river itself is wide and flowing steadily, with gentle ripples on its surface reflecting the sunlight that filters through the trees that line its banks.
The trees are tall and lush, their branches providing shade to the river below and creating a natural canopy over the water.
Slightly different shades of green, orange, and red are represented on the leaves as the season changes.
The sound of the river is constant and soothing, with the water flowing over the rocks and boulders providing a peaceful background melody to the chatter surrounding the hyped-up crowd.
“Most of the river is pretty timid,” Daniel begins.
“But this one section gets a little crazy, so be careful going down there. Make sure you unhook from your party, or you’ll all go down together.
Now just have fun, and we’ll have a little campfire at the end.
I already left the van on the other side so we can easily return. Sound good?”
The group collectively cheers.
“What the hell is this, Sof?” Silvana moans as she looks down at the oversized shirt covering her expensive bathing suit underneath.
“What’s the problem?” Valentina asks.
Silvana’s face flushes.
“Nothing. I just think it’s…different than what I expected.”
“It’s just Valentina messing with me,” Sofia laughs. “It’s funny!”
Sofia puts on the penis hat and drinks her spiked tea through one of the straws. Valentina snaps a selfie with her. I feel a pang of envy inside my gut. Based on her grimace, I’m sure Silvana feels the same way right now.
Silvana grabs her tube and walks over to the other bridesmaids.
“We should hook together. The three of us,” Sofia exclaims excitedly.
“That’s a great idea! The Three Amigos!” I add.
I grab one of the already-inflated tubes and hand it over to Valentina.
Sofia grabs herself one and hands me another.
We dock our floats near the shoreline and walk back near the group.
Everyone is either applying sunscreen, taking selfies, grabbing some last-minute drinks, or waiting for more instructions.
Valentina leaves for the snack station to grab two more iced teas.
I walk over to my bag and pull out Roberto’s journal while Sofia’s distracted by her bridal party.
It’s weird seeing her in a normal, albeit ridiculous, shirt.
She almost looks like an average person who doesn’t have a ton of money.
It’s kind of nice. Like we could actually be related or something.
I flip through the pages, passing all the delicious recipes, random journal entries about his day, photos of me as a kid, and one picture of my mother holding me.
Nothing is sticking out to me. I turn the page once more and find a phone number written in the book.
It’s his handwriting, for sure, so it’s not someone else who wrote it.
There’s a star scribbled on each side of the number.
“I got our drinks.”
“Sh,” I say, pulling Valentina down to the picnic table with me. “Look.”
“A phone number. How intriguing! Should we call it?”
“There’s no way it’s still in service,” I conclude.
“Isa, hasn’t our family had the same numbers for decades? I mean, isn’t your mother’s phone number the same as it has been since you were a baby?”
“Okay, yes,” I admit. “You call, though. I can’t. I’m scared.”
“All right.” She chuckles and pulls out her phone.
I hold my breath, and she presses the numbers and puts her phone against her ear.
“Valentina? Why are you calling me?”
I hear the muffled words spoken, and panic rises in my throat. Valentina knows the person. Maybe she’s been hiding something from me this entire time. Have I been trusting the wrong person with this information? Has she been leading me astray this whole time?
Valentina, confused, looks down at her phone, and her eyes widen.
“Oh, hi, Maritza! It was an accident, sorry.”
She quickly hangs up and stares at her phone.
“I didn’t even notice that the number was already saved on my phone when I dialed it. It’s your aunt Maritza’s number.”
I stare at her phone, trying to process this information. Why is her number in my father’s journal? Why is it labeled as “important?” What am I missing here?
“Do you think—”
“That my father was in love with Maritza? Maybe they had a secret love affair? God, I fucking hope not. I’m going to investigate a little bit.”
I consider asking Valentina what she knows about Silvie, but I don’t want to even hear her talk about her ex. I need to ask Sofia.
It is scorching today, even though the water will probably still be too cold for comfort.
I can already feel the beads of sweat developing on my forehead.
I grab the iced tea Valentina brought us, twist the top open, and take three long gulps.
The ice-cold black tea coats my throat with sugar and lemon.
I have to physically stop myself from chugging the whole bottle and subsequently giving myself a cramp.
We crowd the beach just off the riverbed, with our floats in tow.
We are instructed to just walk into the water, and when the river reaches our knees, and there are no longer any obstacles, we can hop on our tubes and float down.
First go the men. They lift the tubes above their heads one by one and race into the water, lifting their knees toward their chests as if they are about to jump across the river.
Once they get about a third of the way in, they slam the floats on top of the water and, in the same motion, jump right on top.
We watch as each one waves and begins to float away.
“Wait for us!” Araceli shouts as she clumsily climbs into her tube.
She has her arms in the water to paddle herself faster toward the men.