Chapter 26
Ava
The next day, Skylar goes home after lunch so she can get things prepped at her place for the work week, and it’s harder to let her go than I thought it would be.
Is it too soon to move in together?
On the one hand, we’ve known each other for over a decade. It’s not like we’re strangers who just met. We have a previously established relationship.
On the other hand, I have to think about the kids. I would need to talk to them and make sure they’re on board. Then I’d have to tell their dad…
I’m not sure I’m ready for him to give his unwanted opinion on who I’m dating. I’m not sure how he’ll react, and I want to live in ignorant bliss just a little bit longer.
Shea texted me to ask if he could bring the kids back early so we can talk, and anxiety has been thrumming through my veins ever since.
When they get here, Gus rushes into my arms and squeezes me, while Zoe flounces to the living room with what looks like a new doll.
“Hey, buddy, you okay?” I whisper in Gus’s ear.
He nods, but I don’t believe him. Something happened, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it. But I have to talk to his dad first.
“Why don’t you go build something with your magnets while I talk to your dad, okay? I’ll come chat with you when we’re done.”
“I love you, Mommy. No matter what,” he whispers before he runs off.
“I love you, too, buddy.”
Okay, something is definitely wrong.
Shea stands with his arms crossed in front of my door, looking at me with an expression I can only describe as disgust.
“You want to tell me what you were doing this weekend?” he asks.
“I don’t know why you care, but I went out to dinner with Skylar yesterday and went grocery shopping today. I was home the rest of the time.”
“Anything you want to tell me about your relationship with Skylar?” He spits her name out with such vitriol it makes me step back.
“If you have something to say, Shea, then say it.” I’m surprised when my voice comes out strong and not shaky.
Shea lets out a sardonic laugh. “Your mom called me last week after you left her house. She wanted to know if I was aware of your ‘relationship’ with your so-called best friend. Obviously, I told her I had no idea. She told me you said you and Skylar are ‘in love!’ I had to find out my wife’s a freaking lesbo from her mother.
Do you know how embarrassing that is for me?
Then you go parading around in public holding hands, making a fool of me! People saw you, Ava. People know.”
“Lower your voice,” I hiss, not wanting the kids to hear us fighting. “And I’m not your wife, Shea. Our marriage ended long before I realized I was in love with Skylar.”
“Are you worried the kids will find out their mom is a liar? Don’t be, they already know. I had to tell my mom today at lunch, and the kids overheard. They know all about how you’ve been sneaking around with your ‘friend’ behind everyone’s backs. Was this going on when we were married, too?”
“Of course it wasn’t! I’ve only ever been faithful to you. I didn’t even know I was interested in women until after I moved out. I haven’t dated anyone in the two years we’ve been separated, Shea. Stop making baseless accusations because your ego is bruised!”
“How many times did she spend the night at our house, Ava? How many times was she over there when I wasn’t home? You guys could have easily had an affair, and I never would have known.”
“Maybe if you cared about your wife and kids more than you cared about golf and business connections, Skylar wouldn’t have been over so much!
But I never cheated on you. You don’t have to believe me, but it doesn’t change the fucking facts.
How many business trips did you go on? For all I know, you were cheating on me while I was home with our kids. ”
“Yeah, maybe I was! But can you blame me? You stopped wanting sex! Then, you got all radicalized and shit and left. You broke up our family, Ava. And now there’s even less of a chance of us getting back together.”
My brain buffers as it processes what he’s saying. Did he admit to cheating on me and then wanting to get back together in the same breath? “Did you honestly think I’d get back together with you, Shea? After every conversation we’ve had?”
Shea shrugs. “I was hoping this little temper tantrum would end and you’d realize you made a horrible mistake. I’ve just been biding my time until you came back.”
“You introduced our kids to your girlfriend!”
“I wanted to make you jealous! I don’t want to have to go through another wedding or have more babies.
I don’t want to teach someone else how I like my clothes washed or try to impress them.
Things with us were comfortable. They were good.
I thought I could speed up getting back together if you saw I was getting serious with someone new. ”
My mouth drops open at his admission, but I don’t get to respond because there’s a knock at the door. I step around him to open it and find Skylar on the other side.
“Wh-what are you doing here?” I ask, panic clawing at my throat. I don’t want her here to witness the verbal acid and delusions Shea is spouting. I don’t want her anywhere near his homophobic rhetoric.
“I forgot my charger… are you okay?” She leans around me, and her brow furrows when Shea steps up behind me and wraps his arm around my waist. I’m trapped between him and the door, so I can’t escape.
“Ava and I were just talking about getting back together. You can go.” His voice sounds smug, and I want to elbow him in the gut, but it would draw attention from the kids.
I expect Skylar to look hurt or turn and walk away. I wouldn’t blame her. If I didn’t have to be attached to this craziness, I’d get as far away from it as I could.
But I should know my Sky better than that.
She throws her head back and laughs. Deep and throaty, with a hint of condescension aimed towards my ex.
“I would sooner believe Ava is moving to the moon than she’s getting back together with you,” Skylar sneers, and relief fills my whole body.
It doesn’t last long though because Shea’s fingers dig painfully into my hip, and he tries to pull me closer.
Shea doesn’t sound as confident when he volleys back, “Well, believe it. The kids need their parents together, and Ava’s realized her mistakes. Your little… fling is over, and she’s coming back to me.”
“The hell I am!” I hiss, ripping myself away from him and joining Skylar in the hall. I might draw some attention from my neighbors, but… oh well.
Skylar intertwines our fingers, the small touch soothing me enough to talk calmly to Shea, who has obviously lost his mind.
“Shea, our marriage was never going to last, even if I never left the church. Maybe we would have stayed together, but we would have been miserable—I would have been miserable. We both deserve to be with people who make us happy and fulfilled, and Skylar’s that for me.
None of my actions are to spite you, despite what you believe. ”
Shea’s face contorts in disbelief and a hint of pain. “I didn’t give up on our marriage, Ava, you did. Don’t act like I’m the bad guy here when you’re the one who left.”
I shake my head. “You never tried in our marriage, Shea. But I stayed anyway because I thought I had to. You can blame me if it makes you feel better, but it doesn’t change the fact we were always going to end, and I would never come back.”
“But the kids—”
“Will know love no matter what,” I interrupt him. “We’re always going to be in each other’s lives, so I’d rather not be fighting constantly, but I don’t expect us to be friends.”
Shea shakes head. “You’re making a big mistake, Ava. I’m not going to take you back after this.”
I don’t want you to take me back! I want to scream. I want to drill it into his head. I don't want or need him anymore.
“I don’t need your approval. I’ll see you in two weeks.”
Shea scoffs but leaves, stomping down the hallway like a toddler who didn’t get his way.
I pull Skylar inside, shut the door, and then she’s hugging me. “Are you okay, Ava?”
The tears of frustration I was holding back fall in rapid succession down my cheeks as I nod.
“Will you tell me what just happened? Because I’m ready to follow him to his car and rip him a new one for what he was saying.”
“If you can stay until I get the kids in bed, I’ll tell you everything, but I don’t want to deviate from their routine.”
“Of course I’ll stay, baby.” She gives me a quick kiss on the forehead. “I’ll always stay for you.”