Chapter 8
NEVEN
I’ve never been part of a heat. So when I got the text from Esper that hers had started, my heart dropped to my ass with nerves. So much nerves.
My experience with women is quite limited. I’ve had a few beta girlfriends here and there, but honestly, I was waiting for my scent match.
My parents are scent matches. That connection between two people, between a Pack, is unbeatable.
The way my father looks at my mother, like she holds the key to his world, the oxygen in his lungs, made casual dating feel like such a joke.
With every person I was with, I wanted what they had, and when it never happened, I left.
A bit toxic, in all honesty. Eventually, I put myself and my poor partners out of all our misery and stopped dating the last two years.
But then I got… lonely. I ended up closing myself off entirely, and there was no way I was gonna find my scent match that way either.
And, yes, also I was horny.
While going through this existential crisis, I figured I’d at least go on Heat Seekers and get that need taken care of.
Now that it’s time to do just that, though… I’m nervous as fuck.
I have no idea what I was thinking. Though the idea of Esper in pain has me storming past the nerves, completely focused on being with her.
I assume an omega’s heat is like an alpha’s rut, but maybe more intense?
Fuck, I’ve only met the woman once. If my anxiety is this high, how is hers? Is she gonna be okay? Comfortable?
What if I mess shit up?
My boots hitting the low-pile carpet is the only sound in this dorm hallway.
The blue walls and light brown doors don’t calm the rage of nerves sitting in the base of my throat.
Esper said she had a private room. I only hope the privacy extends to the amount needed for a heat. Soundproof, air controlled…
Shit, I don’t even know what else she might need! My research could only take me so far. Every article basically ended with each omega being different.
Gee, thanks, I thought they were all identical clones.
I have a bag full of chocolate chip-flavored protein bars, bottles of spring water, and a few of my worn t-shirts. The internet said that would help, but I wasn’t banking on it.
I couldn’t not bring it after reading it might help.
I stop right outside her door. 103. Taking a deep breath, my fist hovers in front of her door.
You got this.
“How the fuck do you know Esper?”
I nearly jump out of my damn skin as Red’s voice barks from behind me.
“How do you?” I volley back. I saw his name in the group chat but didn’t have time to dissect that as I was throwing together my very suddenly needed Heat Bag.
Red huffs, eyes narrowed, waiting. Shit, he’s gonna make a good Prez someday.
I cross my arms. “I met her recently.”
“What are you doing on Heat Seekers?” As if I shouldn’t have been on the app in the first place, let alone matching with the sweetest omega fucking ever. As if he hadn’t clearly met her through the app, too.
“What are you doing—”
“I’m an omega. I can do what the fuck I want.”
I know this fucker didn’t just pull the omega card on me. He’s the least omega omega I’ve met. Suppressing himself 24/7. That shit can’t be healthy.
“What did you bring, Omega?” I huff out a laugh and I turn back to the door.
“Myself. A few… toys, and a blanket with my scent on it. Asshole. What did you bring?”
Damn, that was smart. I should have brought a damn blanket. “Water. Snacks. T-shirts.”
“Smart.” He stands next to me, crossing his arms as he holds his helmet in one hand.
“I didn’t know what would be best,” I confess. Maybe it’s a good thing Red was invited too, since I have not a real fucking clue what to expect the moment this door opens.
Red shrugs. “Every omega is different. That’s why it’s better to have the same set of partners so they learn what you need and have it each time.”
“Fair,” I mutter but hate not knowing what’s right and wrong for Esper already.
Realistically, I’m surprised I even received the text that her heat started. We had one date. One amazing fucking date, and she’s inviting me to her heat already? She didn’t seem the type to move so fast, but maybe she didn’t have a choice. Maybe her instincts are strong?
The door cracks open, and I’m hit with the most delicious smell in the goddamn world. Cranberries seep from the door and straight under my skin. Hugging me. Pulling me closer to the door.
Esper reaches out and grabs us each by our shirts and yanks us in as hard as she can and slams the door behind us.
“Thank you,” she groans. Nearly falling to her knees.
We both go to catch her, but she catches herself with her hands on her knees.
She stumbles through the small dorm. There are dark blankets hung over the windows.
Her fairy lights are the only source of light.
I follow Red’s lead on this one when I notice he doesn’t sit anywhere, watching her.
Esper turns in the mini hallway (AKA the space between her bed and the wall).
Her desk takes up the back wall. She runs her hands through her hair as her brown eyes meet each of ours.
She has a very loose shirt on, so loose it hangs over her shoulder.
Judging by the peaks in her shirt, no bra.
And I don’t think she quite notices. Or maybe she doesn't care? She has on…boxer shorts? Or at least they look like boxer shorts. Do women wear—no, it doesn’t matter right now.
“Um. Ground rules first, maybe?” Her gaze bounces between the both of us and scrunching her eyebrows. “Do you know each other? I meant… I thought I had time—”
“It’s perfect. We’re friends,” Red cuts her off.
“Perfect?” She nearly moans as her shoulders relax.
“Perfect,” Red confirms. His voice is low and soft.
“Okay. I… I wanted to do things the right way, but…” She leans over with what I assume is a cramp.
This time I let my alpha instinct guide me.
I dash forward and catch her in my arms. I hold her upright, cuddling her up against me.
Her skin is covered in a light layer of sweat, which is incredibly sexy.
I’m not quite sure if it's her alluring scent, but everything down to her painted toenails is so damn sexy.
To have her against me, burrowing her head into my shirt and inhaling deeply.
Damn. A damn dream.
“It’s gonna be alright,” I say against her hair. She grips my shirt and takes slow breaths.
“Okay, um, no… no kinky stuff, please.” Her cheeks turn a bright red, even more so than the fever caused.
Red bursts out a laugh, which makes her gaze snap to him, and he shakes his head.
“Be specific, babe. No spanking, no spit?” He takes a single step closer.
Should I have waited before reaching for her?
“How about I just communicate instead?”
Red shakes his head. “You won’t be able to. The worse it gets, the less sane of mind you’ll be. Tell us what you don’t like.”
“I—” She turns her face into my chest, and I accidentally purr when she nestles her cheek on my pec. She burrows against me further. “I don’t know.”
“First heat?” Red asks.
“First… everything.” She hides her face against my chest, refusing to make eye contact with either of us. I hope my hammering heart doesn’t jar her.
A virgin. You’re telling me no one has tasted this kind goddess in my arms?
No… nothing?
“Oh,” Red says, scrunching his eyebrows together.
Her voice wobbles as she asks, “Is that… gonna be a problem?"
“No,” I immediately say, kissing the top of her head.
Red steps another foot closer. “We don’t have to penetrate—”
“Are you… are you sure?”
“Absolutely,” I say. Not really knowing the true answer. Could an omega get through a heat without a knot or lock? I’m not sure. But we’d try it, for her. She chews her bottom lip as she thinks, and she looks back to Red.
“Don't I need a knot?”
“I have toys,” he answers.
“I don’t want my first knot to be a toy,” she says with a groan, her skin flushing red now, and I can’t tell if it's the heat or her embarrassment. “Fuck, this is complicated. Maybe I should… handle this myself.”
“No, no, we’ll figure this out. Unless you don’t want to,” Red says and I nod in agreement.
“What about you guys?”
I shake my head. “We don’t matter. This is your heat,” I say. “There’s lots we can do.”
Her eyes peer into mine, and I see everything. All the fears, doubts, uncertainty she has. My alpha wants to take on all her worries so she doesn’t have to carry them. But I can’t. The only thing I can do is ensure she won’t be burdened with them alone.
“Like what?”
At that, my eyes dart to Red, who finally steps all the way forward and takes his spot behind her. We make eye contact over her head, and I swallow, letting my instinct guide me.
“Like this,” I breathe as I lean in closer.