Chapter 19
Phoenix, Arizona
A,
Getting new tattoos today. I think that will make me feel better.
We’ve got a guy coming to the venue to our dressing room, which is incredible because it makes all the security and scheduling shit so much easier.
I’ve been wanting to get started on a back piece for a while now.
The design is from something Ari sketched out years ago as a draft for some album artwork—this badass dagger that looks like it came straight out of Middle-earth with the hilt all decked out with intricate engravings.
Its covered in webs and spiders, like it was buried and forgotten.
I want it running down my spine, which is probably going to hurt like hell.
Weirdly, I’ve always liked the pain because when you’re getting tattooed, you can’t think about anything else.
You’re forced to be right there, in the moment.
That day, I knew you were my person. I mean, I think I knew that when we were running around the neighborhood back in the day and you were yelling at me about riding my skateboard too recklessly.
But that day—that tattoo…it was your idea.
You wanted something that anchored us together, and it meant everything to me.
Though I didn’t express that. I was somehow dumber five years ago.
I was also scared to death of what was in front of us, but that didn’t stop me from agreeing to bind myself to you too.
I loved you so much…I still do.
I’m sorry,
Jay