Chapter 41
Jenna awoke groggy and weighted by the sound of rain pattering the roof. She noticed the suitcases by the door and her stomach
sank.
She hadn’t gotten to bed until after three. Ty’s parents had settled him in their house where they could keep close watch
on him. When Jenna got home her mom was awake, and Jenna filled in the details missing from her texts.
She rolled over in bed, trying to wake up. It was now going on ten. She was supposed to have been on the road to Alexandria
by now. Her new job started the next morning, and she’d wanted time to settle into her apartment and mentally prepare. She
was keeping the apartment until the lease expired at the end of August—already had her eye on a more economical option.
But it was hard to focus on any of that right now. Across the street Tyson lay recovering from a head and lung injury. He’d
been knocked unconscious during a fully involved blaze.
And now that she was removed from the emergency, the chatter from the firefighters the night before was slowly sinking in.
Tyson had defied orders to exit the structure. The chief deemed the building unsafe, and while the other firefighters headed
to safety, Tyson went back for the teenager, endangering his own life. On top of that, he’d given the girl his oxygen. If
Riggs and Novak hadn’t noticed him missing and turned back, this could’ve ended very differently.
The girl and her parents were no doubt grateful beyond measure for his actions. The Eastern Shore Post would certainly declare him heroic when the paper released Friday.
But all Jenna could think was, I could’ve lost him.
It had been so brave of him. Tyson would always do the courageous thing, even if that put him in jeopardy. The thought put
that familiar pinch in her chest. The one she had when she remembered the painful loss of her dad. And this summer she’d let
herself fall in love with a firefighter.
It had been a terrible mistake.
She’d allowed herself to go down a road that could lead to the same horrible heartache she’d spent her life avoiding. And
now she couldn’t bear to do anything but put space between them. Protect her heart from what could happen. No amount of therapy
could help her if she just wasn’t strong enough to suffer another loss like that.
But she also couldn’t admit her feelings to Ty. Not now. She had to put them on the back burner until he healed.
Her phone alerted her to an incoming text, and her arm felt heavy as she retrieved it. Tyson.
You up?
Her mouth felt dry and that pinch grew stronger. Yeah. Just woke up.
Thank God. Come rescue me from Mom.
Ronda was probably hovering with ice packs and Tylenol and snatching away all the reading materials.
Be there in twenty. And get off your phone!
Oh God, save me from my mother.
For the moment Tyson’s prayer went unanswered. Mom fluffed the pillow beside him and tried placing it behind his back. If
he stayed in this bed another minute he would lose his mind. “I think I’ll just move to the sofa, Mom.”
Her brows crinkled. “You should stay in bed and rest, honey.”
He swung his legs over the edge of the bed. “I can rest just as easily on the sofa.”
“Wait, I’ll get your dad to help you.”
“I can walk across the room on my own.” He proved it by coming to his feet and heading toward the living area of the guest
room.
Mom dashed to his side—just in case.
“I feel fine this morning. My headache’s gone and I—” As luck would have it he broke out into a coughing fit.
Mom scowled at him. “You feel fine, huh? How did you boys get so stubborn?”
Oh, he could hazard a guess.
After he was settled on the sofa, Mom headed toward the door. “I’ll be right up with some nice green tea to soothe that cough.
It’s good for the lungs. Mind you don’t turn on that TV,” she called over her shoulder, then closed the door behind her.
Ty dropped his head against the seatback and flung the throw pillow over his face. He needed Jenna. Once she got here, Mom
would stop fussing around.
Jenna.
He’d been thinking of her since he’d awakened at seven o’clock this morning. He hadn’t missed the sheer panic on her face last night. Even the good news about his lungs hadn’t smoothed the creases on her forehead or chased the shadow of fear from her eyes.
Last night she’d faced her biggest nightmare. But he was fine. She’d surely see that even though he sometimes encountered
dangerous situations, he and his crew could handle it. Just because her dad had died on the job didn’t mean he would too.
In fact, the odds were long against it.
Hopefully a good night’s sleep had left her feeling more optimistic. He was strangely rested and refreshed even though he’d
gotten little sleep. Perhaps because the sleep he did get was nightmare free. It was the most restful night he’d had in a
while.
He thought of the girl he’d found huddled beneath her bed and allowed a sliver of a smile. Luke had texted this morning with
an update. Her dad had appeared at the firehouse with donuts and a good report. He asked them to pass on his gratitude to
Tyson.
He could be grateful for the save and still recognize that he’d defied orders and taken a risk because of his guilt over Andre
Wallace. Maybe it had worked out this time, but it could’ve ended very differently. Very tragically.
He could never make up for the boy he’d lost, but he could go on helping people, saving lives. Just because he wasn’t perfect
didn’t mean he couldn’t be useful. But he needed help processing this guilt that had been weighing so heavily on him. He needed
therapy. There was too much on the line to mess around with this any longer.
He would get help, get healthy, and then he would go on helping people as he was meant to do. Just having a plan in place made him feel better. Peace washed over him, healing a small tucked-away place inside him.
“Tyson?”
At the sound of Jenna’s panic-laced voice, he ripped the pillow off his head. “Hey there.”
Her brow was furrowed as she came through the doorway. “What’s wrong? Why’d you have the pillow over your face?”
“Oh, you know . . . Mom.”
Jenna’s brow smoothed. “She’s only trying to help. She sent this up for you with strict instructions that you drink it all.”
Ty took the mug of steaming tea. “Yes, ma’am.” He sipped, winced when it tasted like grass clippings, and set it on the coffee
table.
“How’s the headache? The cough?”
He spared her a look. “Don’t pretend my mom didn’t just give you a full report.”
“Okay, fine, she did.” Jenna sank beside him, careful not to jostle him, and too far away for his liking. “But I don’t like
hearing your voice so hoarse.”
“It’ll get better in a few days.” He took her hand and found it cold, even though it must be ninety degrees out already. “You
should be on the road by now.”
She averted her eyes. “You couldn’t think I’d leave you like this.”
“You heard the doctor. I’m fine. Just need to lay low a couple days, and you know Mom will watch me like an eagle. God forbid
she let me return to work if I have so much as a flicker of a headache.”
“Nor should she.” That panic still cowered in the depths of her eyes. Infused her tone.
“I’ll be careful, Jen. I promise.”
“You’ve already been on your phone.”
“Just to text you. I turned it off.” He squeezed her hand.
“You can’t miss the first day of your new job.
There’s no reason for that.” It took a lot to say those words when he only wanted to pull her into his arms and keep her here forever.
Especially because she hadn’t willingly touched him since she’d walked in. Her hand lay lifelessly in his.
Ever since they’d grown closer she’d been so affectionate. So quick to grab his hand, touch his face, or press a kiss to his
lips. She stared at him often, assessing him, studying him, admiring him. That she wasn’t doing any of that now, when he’d
just come through an emergency, was telling.
The realization sent a cold shiver of fear up his spine.
She handed him the mug, not sparing him more than a glance. “Maybe so, but if you want me to stay, I will. I’m sure Nancy
would understand under the circumstances.”
He sipped the tea, wishing he could swallow the terrible dread working its way up his throat. “I appreciate that, but I’ll
be fine. I don’t want you to miss your first day.”
“If you’re sure. But I can still keep you company for a while.” She settled back on the sofa with her phone. “I can read to
you if you want. I have a ton of e-books on here. Or I can download a suspense novel. Do you have the new David Baldacci book?”
Her expression, her posture made it obvious what was going on inside her: The accident had terrified her, and she was already
withdrawing from him. She was done.
But she wouldn’t vocalize her feelings because he was healing. She’d wait until he had his strength back. The problem was,
he couldn’t live with this uncertainty for days on end. And he didn’t want that for her either. They were only putting off
the inevitable. He could see that quite clearly.
At the thought of her leaving him, a vise tightened around his heart, squeezing until his breath felt labored.
“It says right here it’s riveting, engrossing, totally captivating. Sounds like just what the doctor ordered. What do you think?”
“Jenna.”
“Have you already read it? There’s always Ken Follett or Harlan Coben. Do they have anything new out? I know you liked the
last Coben.”
“Jenna.”
He had her attention now. Her lips were parted, eyes questioning. Realization slowly settled in her features. Then a sadness
crept into her eyes. And guilt. A heavy dose of guilt. His accident had scared her to death. She couldn’t face a future where
he risked his life—and her heart—on a regular basis.
He could try to talk her into it. He might even succeed. But he had multiple calls a week. It would be a perpetual conflict
between them. Continual anxiety for her. Constant guilt for him.
For the first time he wished he could surrender the part of himself that felt called to the fire company. But he’d known since
he was little that he was made for this assignment. It was part of who he was. Giving it up would be like giving up a piece
of himself, and that wouldn’t be right either.
Panic edged her eyes. She was petrified of the danger he faced. And after her father . . . how could he blame her? He loved
her too much to put her through this day after day. He touched her cheek. “You don’t have to say it, Jen. It’s written all
over your face.”
“What do you mean? I’m fine. But you won’t be if you don’t finish your tea. Your mother was quite explicit in her instructions.”
He set the tea back on the table without taking a drink. “Look at me, Jenna.”
“What? I’m okay.”
“You’re not okay,” he said gently. “Who do you think you’re talking to? Your left eye is twitching like mad and your voice is all quivery . . .” He brushed a tear from her cheek. “And now you’re crying. Talk to me.”
Her mouth opened. But all that came out was a squeak. She closed her trembling lips as more tears followed.
Tyson gathered her into his arms. “Aw, honey. It’s okay.” It wasn’t okay. Not even close. But he wouldn’t guilt her for something
she couldn’t help. That childhood wound had left her scarred. She’d always been clear about that. He’d known all along he
was taking a chance.
Even now he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Although losing her would be a kind of pain he’d never faced. He kissed the
top of her head. And while she gave in to her tears, his own eyes burned. How would he go back to the way it had been before?
But it wouldn’t even be that, would it? A friendship like they’d always shared wouldn’t be possible when he loved her this
way. Being with her would be too painful. He would always want more.
And someday she’d find someone else. He’d have to stand by and pretend to be happy for her while jealousy slammed into his
heart. Because he couldn’t even imagine these feelings for her fading away. Couldn’t imagine feeling only friendship for her.
He’d been naive to think things could ever return to the way they were before.
He wasn’t only losing the woman he loved; he was losing the friend he’d always had. At the thought of letting go of her, his
arms automatically tightened.
“I wish I could be as brave as you.” Jenna’s breath shuddered on the words.
He drew away, finding her eyes bloodshot and her lashes wet. “You had the courage to leave the island, go off and chase your dreams. A lot of people are too afraid to do that. I’m proud of you, Greene.”
Her lower lip trembled. “I don’t want to leave now. I’m afraid things will never be the same between us. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Hey, you haven’t lost me. That’ll never happen.” He had no idea how he’d keep that promise, but he had to. He couldn’t see
a life without Jenna in it. He thumbed away her tears, trying to figure out how to fix this mess. “Okay, let’s do this. Go
back to Alexandria. Get settled in your new job. A little space, a little time might be just what we need.”
Every cell in his body refuted the thought. Space and time away from Jenna was the very last thing he wanted. But he was glad
he’d suggested it when a little hope surfaced amid the despair in her eyes. “It’s going to be all right. It’ll get better.”
“You really think so?”
He tried for a smile. “I’ve loved you for years, Jenna. That’ll never change.” A fist tightened in his gut. Because now he
was in love with her, and he was pretty sure he couldn’t reverse that.
“I love you too.”
He pressed a final kiss to her forehead. He wasn’t sure how she’d meant those words. But he had a terrible feeling it would
be the last time he ever heard her say them.