More Than Friends

Chapter Thirteen

Harlyn

I showed up to work Monday morning, unsure if I still had a job. I wanted to march into Janene’s office and strangle her because she’d canceled on my mom’s Saturday dinner. She didn’t give an excuse as to why, just that she couldn’t make it. I hadn’t planned to be there because of what had transpired Friday night and Janene would have known that if she had not blocked my number. When I sent her a text Saturday morning to apologize for my behavior, my message was returned undeliverable. When I tried to call her, even though I wasn’t ready to hear her voice, my call wouldn’t go through. That seemed ridiculous. And then it dawned on me that maybe she’d blocked me because I had been fired.

I was happy to find that my badge worked at the front door and again when I used it to access the elevator. There wasn’t a security guard waiting for me at reception, as a matter-of-fact Misty was just as chipper as always. When I realized that I was not being terminated and that instead Janene was acting like a toddler over a kiss, my anger flared and I was ready to have a new round of words with her.

I walked into Janene’s office without knocking, I wanted the element of surprise on my side. I was surprised. Surprised to find her office was empty. I turned to walk out and realized that her office wasn’t just void of her, it was clean. All the papers that had been scattered across the room were gone, even her laptop.

I closed the door and ran into Madeline in the hallway.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hi, I was looking for Janene.”

“I take it you haven’t looked at your email yet this morning? Janene is taking a few days off. She’ll be back on Wednesday.”

“Oh,” was all I could say.

I hoped that I hadn’t given away how angry that information made me. I didn’t need Madeline to start asking questions but this was ludicrous. What was so wrong with me that a kiss had sent her running? Janene was a woman who had casual affairs all the time. We’d shared a kiss, nothing more. It could have led to more. I had wanted it to lead to more but it hadn’t.

“You’ll have to put up with me kid, sorry,” Madeline said.

That word. It was playful, not at all demeaning coming from Madeline. She used it all the time with all the interns even though she was probably no more than eight or nine years older than me. Yet, it didn’t bother me the way it had when Janene implied the same thing Friday night.

“Do you know where she went?” I asked.

“No,” she said. There was a touch of concern in her voice. “I don’t think she had plans to go anywhere. She just moved a few things around on her schedule so she could work from home.”

“I hope she’s okay.”

“I’m sure she’s fine. I’m only saying this to you because I know you understand things about her past, and the demons that haunt her from time to time. She didn’t say that was why she needed the time but sometimes she just needs some space. She’s a tough cookie though, she’ll bounce back and be better than ever by Wednesday afternoon.”

Madeline tightened her ponytail like the conversation was getting to be too serious for her liking. I wondered how they had come to work together. And, did it bother Madeline to have a business partner that was ten years older than her or did it bother Janene to have a boss that was ten years younger than her?

“Anyway,” Madeline said. “We have our first meeting today for the hospital proposal. I’ll see you there in about an hour.”

“Definitely.”

I went back to the communal office and took out my laptop. I had an email waiting for me, time stamp said it was sent on Saturday. The email was addressed to all the interns, explaining that Janene would be back on Wednesday just as Madeline had said. There were no specific details about why she had taken Monday and Tuesday off and though Madeline had other ideas for Janene’s disappearance, I was sure that she was avoiding me.

As soon as I returned home from picking up my car on Saturday morning I regretted not going up to Janene’s office. I almost turned around and drove back but I didn’t know what I would say to her. I also didn’t have any real proof that she was up there other than I had never known her to draw the shades to her window. I’d walked in and out of her office several time and the blinds were always pulled up. Something told me that her car was not sitting in the parking lot because she’d taken a ride share home like I had. Still, as long as she wasn’t taking my calls or texts, I couldn’t be certain of anything other than she didn’t want to talk to me.

I reread the email and an email was my answer. She wouldn’t have a way to block a company email and I could send it with a read receipt request so I’d at least know that she opened it. It probably wasn’t the most mature way to handle the situation but neither was blocking someone’s phone number. There was of course the possibility that someone in IT would read my email since it was technically company property, but the odds were slim and what else was I supposed to do? I needed to fix the problem before it interfered with my job.

I started a new email:

Janene,

Good morning,

Hello,

I went back to good morning.

I am reaching out to you to see how you are doing. I hope you don’t think that I am overstepping here but I think there may have been a misunderstanding when we spoke on Friday. I never meant to cause a problem. I hope we can discuss the issue and above everything else move past it.

I read it back to myself and it sounded so impersonal, so very much the opposite of what I was trying to convey. I wanted her to know that I was sorry for pushing her to do something she obviously regretted. The email was supposed to be vague so that anyone who might be snooping through her emails would have no clue as to what the misunderstanding was but it felt cold and distant. There was no way she was going to want to talk to me if I sent her something like that. I erased the email and decided to try again when I was alone and the office was quiet.

When everyone was gone for the day, including Madeline who couldn’t stop talking about the hot date she had with her partner, Julia, I pulled up my email and tried again. I wrote and rewrote the email at least ten times. I felt like I was better off just writing: call me, we need to talk .

That wasn’t going to work. If she was concerned at all with hashing things out, she would have reached out. Better yet, she wouldn’t have blocked me to begin with. I only had one shot at getting her attention and explaining myself. One shot to save my job and hopefully my reputation. I didn’t need to be known as the woman that got her job because her mom pulled some strings and then lost that same job because she kissed her boss.

I took out a sheet of copy paper and decided to do things the old-fashioned way. I wrote her a letter. A two-page letter explaining how sorry I was for my actions, how I never should have had a second beer much less a sixth or seventh, how I was going to do better, and lastly promising that nothing like that would ever happen again.

I folded up the letter and placed it in an envelope, sealed it and then carried it to her office. My final mission was to find a discreet place to put the letter that would also be easy enough for her to find.

I stood behind her desk and tried to envision what she would do first when she got back to the office. Nothing stood out. I sat in her chair and pulled out the top drawer to her desk. It was filled with pens, pencils, paperclips and sticky notes. They all looked new, I wasn’t sure how often she went into that drawer. I tried the side drawers but they were locked. I looked at the top of her desk. There was a leather desk pad, two sketch books, two pencil holders with an array of color pencils, a pencil holder with pencils and pens, a tear away calendar on an easel, a lamp, and her desk phone.

I thought about placing the letter under the corner of her phone but that seemed to be too out in the open. I worried Misty might come in to drop off mail or paperwork and see the envelope. I’d only been with the company two weeks and yet I understood that she was a bit of an office gossip. She might very well open the letter to see what it was about. I slid the letter under the desk pad leaving only the corner showing. That was probably the best place to put it. It was obvious but at the same time hidden in plain sight.

I took off my blazer and sat back in Janene’s chair, imagining what it would be like to one day have my own office as a senior partner in an architectural firm. I couldn’t imagine my desk being as messy as Janene’s. Of course, my desk would be in a high rise in New York. I’d have a beautiful view of the city every day. A smile spread across my face. I couldn’t help how happy that dream made me and I was so close. There were only six weeks left in the eight-week contract that I’d signed. In four more weeks, I’d be able to start my search for a new company. I had already started to compile a list of New York firms so that I could research their specialties and then narrow down my list of top contenders.

I toed off my shoes and put my feet up on the desk. I leaned back, closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like. Where I would live, how I would live. There was the soft sound of someone clearing their throat. My eyes sprung open. Standing in the doorway was Janene. She looked rough. She was in jeans and a plain white t-shirt. Her hair looked like she’d only run her fingers through it after a shower. It was her eyes though that caught my attention. They were dark underneath like she hadn’t been sleeping well.

I stood up out of her chair in a rush. “Sorry, I was just—”

“Imagining what it would be like if this was your office?” There was a hint of a smile in her voice though her lips hadn’t curled on the ends and her arms were still folded in front of her.

“Busted,” I replied.

“Is that your plan? To get rid of me and take over my job? You know Armande would be next in line. Unless you have plans to oust him too.”

“No!” I said waiving my hands in front of me.

Finally, a smile crept up on her face. The genuine one with the tilt of her head. The fact that she was teasing me brought about a sense of relief. She walked toward the desk. I started to move and she stopped me.

“Stay there. It suits you. I just needed to grab a few things off the drawing board.”

“I’m sorry, I can go.”

“No, don’t,” her voice sounded desperate. “We should talk.”

She set her bag down on the chair across from her desk but she didn’t sit so neither did I. She stood there quietly watching me. I looked down and recalled why I hadn’t even unbuttoned my blazer all day. I hadn’t done laundry in a while and the only clean underwear I had was in a bright neon hot pink that showed through the only clean shirt I had which was a white cotton button up. Not really a work appropriate outfit. I crossed my arms in embarrassment.

“God, Harlyn.” She drove her thumbs into her eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

I wasn’t sure what she was talking about until I remembered what Madeline had said and I was suddenly filled with guilt. Maybe this really had nothing to do with me at all. Janene looked like hell and that couldn’t be because of one stupid kiss. She had real trauma and grief in her life. She suffered from PTSD. I was the one being an asshole.

“Hey, come here, sit down.”

I walked around the desk and reached out to her. She put her hand in mine, and I tried not to think about how perfectly they fit together. I led her around to her chair and nudged her to take a seat.

“Talk to me,” I said.

I leaned up against her desk, just off to her right. It was the first time I’d ever had a height advantage on her. She looked up at me and I wanted to make a joke about towering over her but her expression was so somber. Almost as if it had taken every bit of the energy she had, to make eye contact. She leaned back into the chair and tilted her head up toward the ceiling.

“How about I start,” I said when she didn’t say anything.

I figured if I started with my apology, maybe even laughed at our drunken kiss, then maybe she would be willing to talk to me about whatever was bothering her.

“I’m sorry about Friday. I never should have told you to kiss me. I could take the easy way out and blame my actions on the alcohol, but I think we both know I wasn’t drunk.” I looked down at my bare toes before I continued. “I really do enjoy working here so please don’t fire me. More importantly please don’t rat me out to my mom.” I tried a chuckle to help break the tension but I was having a hard time finding any humor in the situation.

“Harlyn, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one who crossed the line.”

“I practically dared you to kiss me.”

Janene sat up in her chair and blew out a deep breath. “It wasn’t much of a dare. I—” She shook her head. “Look, the point is it wasn’t your fault. I knew better, I should have walked away. It was wrong and it can’t happen again.”

“Is that the final word from the adult in this conversation?”

My reply was a little clipped but I was so tired of the “I know better,” line. It did nothing but remind me of my initial impression. Janene wasn’t interested, no matter how great that kiss was and she just didn’t know how to say it.

“I didn’t mean it that way,” she said. “I promise. It was a really bad joke. I just meant that I have more life experience. I know that these things can cause problems.”

“You mean with someone like me.”

“Of course, with someone like you,” she said.

“I’m such an idiot.”

My throat tightened. It had been a pity kiss. Like the one you see in the movies where the cool kid kisses the nerd but not because he likes her, because he feels sorry for her.

Janene looked up at me, her brow knitted. “Harlyn, I’m almost twice your age—”

“Cut the crap! Just say you’re not interested. Anabelle is younger than I am. Give me just a little credit. You obviously have a type and I don’t fit that mold. Save us both the embarrassment of your stupid lies.”

I started to stand but Janene placed her hands on my hips and she slid me over so that we were facing each other.

“I have to remind myself every day that your mom is my friend, that I’m your boss, that there is no way in the world that this won’t blow up and cause major damage to our lives because when you walk into a room or you smile in my direction all I can think about is how much I want to kiss you.” She closed her eyes for a moment, like she was trying to restrain herself. “This is an impossible situation.”

When she opened her eyes, they fell to her hands which were still on my hips. She pulled them back as if they’d scorched her. Her hands went into the air like that day she almost knocked me over and then didn’t even bother to help me regain my balance. That’s what that had been about.

Her hands fell onto the arms of her chair and she tightened her grip as if to keep herself from reaching out again. I really was the fool in this scenario.

“Look at me,” I said. My words were stern. I only had one chance to test my theory because if I was wrong, I was definitely going to get fired.

She looked up and I caught a glimpse of the thrill she got from the authority in my voice. I could work with that. I leaned forward and kissed her. She had every opportunity to pull back but she didn’t. Instead, every time I pressed harder against her lips, she reciprocated.

I wrapped my hands around her neck applying just a touch of pressure. I let my thumb caress the front of her throat, and she groaned into my mouth. I had her number now.

“You want me,” I whispered into her ear.

“So bad,” she sighed.

Her hands slid up my thighs, the tips of her fingers roaming just beneath the hem of my skirt.

“Then take me,” I said.

She didn’t hesitate. She stood up and sat me on her desk. “You have no idea how many times I’ve fantasized about this.”

“Show me,” I said. “Janene—”

I barely got her name out of my mouth before she was kissing me again, her hands spreading my thighs open so she could get closer.

“I want you so bad,” she said as she started on the button to my shirt.

I pushed her back a few inches and lifted the blouse over my head.

“Fuck, you’re even more gorgeous than I imagined,” she said taking in the hot pink bra.

“No talking,” I said. I lifted her chin and kissed her hard. “The panties that match this bra are soaking wet and I need you to do something about that.”

Her smirk returned and then pens, pencils and everything else she had on her desk went crashing to the floor as she made space to lay me back. Her hands crawled up my skirt, pushing it toward my waist. her nails leaving goosebumps along the way. It had been too long since I’d had anyone give me this kind of attention. Her warm lips made contact with the panel of my soaked panties and I was ready. I moaned and felt a grin spread across Janene’s lips.

She tugged at the waistband of my underwear and together we slid them off. Without wasting anymore time Janene licked at my slit. It was glorious, the feeling of her mouth on me, doing unspeakable things that drove me mad.

“God, you taste good,” she said.

Her tongue lapped up and down my slit, teasing my clit as she circled it. I liked to be teased but this was not the time for it. I dug my fingers into her scalp.

“Janene,” I said in as stern a voice as I could muster. “I need you.”

She knew exactly what I meant. She pressed two fingers against my entrance as she took my clit between her lips. Without further warning she drove her fingers inside of me.

“Yes!” I called out, my knees tightening around her head.

She continued to fuck me and lick my clit at the same time. She flicked her tongue against my tender bud over and over again until I saw every color imaginable in a huge explosion behind my eyelids. My legs quivered and my arms went limp. She was very good and I wanted more.

Janene looked up from between my legs. She looked like a mad woman as she licked my juice from her lips. “Fuck what’s appropriate, I want to do that again.”

I sat up and wrapped my legs around her hips, pulling her toward me and kissed her.

“First things first,” I said.

Janene was still completely clothed. I wanted to see her naked body, run my hands over those strong arms. I reached down and placed two fingers just inside her waistband. It was a familiar sensation. I moved to unbutton her jeans but she grabbed ahold of my wrists. My legs fell to her side and I sat up straighter. She shook her head.

“Don’t tell me you’re shy,” I smirked.

“I’m not, but I can’t.” She looked down at her jeans.

“Standing up? We can switch places, or I can spread you out on that couch over there.”

“No,” she said, very matter of fact. “I can’t—I can’t have an orgasm.”

I looked at her, trying to read whether or not she was kidding. I didn’t find that statement funny. It quickly became clear that she wasn’t making a joke. There was something about the way she looked at me that said this was more complicated than a simple, “I can’t.”

“That’s okay,” I said. “Maybe it’s just not the right time.”

She smiled. “I wish it was that easy.” She ran her hands over my thighs and wrapped my legs around her waist again. “Let’s not worry about that now. I want to spread you out across my couch.”

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed not to get my hands on her, but I could be patient.

It was almost ten o’clock when Janene walked me out to my car. My mom had texted me twice and called me three times before I took a moment to text her back saying I had forgotten to tell her that I was meeting up with an old high school friend for dinner and drinks.

“Renee is not going to be happy with you,” Janene said as she pinned me up against my car door.

“Renee is not the boss of me,” I said leaning in to kiss her. “It will benefit you to remember that.”

“Hmmm. I’ll file that away for future reference.”

“Good. So, does this mean you’ll unblock my number now?”

Janene looked confused. “What are you talking about?”

I started to laugh. “I haven’t been able to call or text you since Saturday.”

She just stared at me and that made me laugh even harder. “God, old people and technology. Let me see your phone.” I stretched out my hand in her direction. “That’s the real reason I was in your office. Aside from breaking into my mom’s phone to figure out where you live now, my only option was to go old school and write you a letter because I couldn’t reach you.”

Janene dug into her pocket and then placed the unlocked phone into my palm. There was a spark of electricity that spread across my hand. God, I needed to get myself together around her because we’d just had amazing, though one sided, sex and I wanted more.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked with a smirk on her face.

“No reason.”

I opened up her message app and unblocked my number. “There,” I said handing the phone back. “Renee does that all the time. I just assumed you had done it intentionally. That you didn’t want to talk to me after we kissed.”

Janene shook her head. “I wanted to do so much more than talk after we kissed.” She leaned in and placed a soft peck on my chin. Then she planted another kiss along my jaw line before reaching for my earlobe with her teeth.

“You’re cruel, you know that,” I sighed.

“You have no idea. You know that when I saw your car still parked here tonight, I almost didn’t come upstairs.”

“That would have been so sad for you.”

“I know.”

Janene ran her thumb over my lips. “You better get home before you’re reported missing.”

“I wish that was a joke.”

I leaned in for one last kiss. A slow, sensual kiss that made my entire body tingle. I was glad for it because it would have to last me for days.

“Will I wake up tomorrow and find this was all just a dream?” Janene asked.

“I hope not,” I said.

“I might have to fire you tomorrow.” There was that wicked smirk again. “So that I can have you all to myself.”

“You think you’re funny, but you’re not.” I stole one more peck. “Are we going to be okay tomorrow or is this going to be weird?”

“I don’t know, I’m not working tomorrow. On Wednesday afternoon it’s definitely going to be weird because I’ll want to kiss you every time I see you. But it’s going to be okay. See you’re going to have dinner with me tomorrow night and the night after and maybe even the night after that, so we’ll always have that to look forward to.”

“Is that right?”

Jenene leaned in for one last kiss before she turned and walked away with an exaggerated strut. I couldn’t keep myself from chuckling at her swagger. I knew that when this went wrong, it would go terribly wrong, but in the meantime, it was going to be fun.