Chapter 15 #2
Determination filled me in a way I hadn’t known in weeks. This wasn’t about me anymore.
It was about Olivia.
Like it always should have been.
Rick’s reply arrived seconds later. My stomach twisted as I read it.
RICK: About time you figured that out. Love you too.
Had he not wanted me to come back?
I didn’t give my brain time to overthink it.
“Do you happen to know where the closest petrol station is?” I asked the dark-haired woman behind the café counter. Her gold bracelets clanked together as she handed back my card.
“One minute that way.” She pointed in the opposite direction from where I’d come. “Opposite side of the road.”
“Thanks.” I dipped my head, taking my coffee from her, hoping its size meant a third or fourth shot had been involved.
The drive back to Glades Bay felt far longer than my escape from it. Like last time, I had very little in the way of a plan. I’d attend Olivia’s memorial for a start. But more immediately, I was going to have to face Breeze.
I’d left without a proper goodbye and deleted the only message she’d sent after undoubtedly discovering my note. It could have been a raging fuck you, for all I knew.
Pulling up outside the white and cherry blossom-painted building felt... uncomfortable. It was 10 p.m., and there were still lights on upstairs. Was she upset I’d left? Relieved?
A few hours ago my determination to leave this place had been so strong, and yet here I was.
Lead filled my feet as I crossed the pebbled ground to the door. Breeze might have been one of the sweetest humans I’d ever met, but she was also feisty. A quality most survivors had. I wasn’t sure which version I was going to get.
I knocked on the door and waited. Perhaps she wouldn’t hear me at this time of night anyway. Relief trickled in as I waited, and then the lights in the café flicked on.
Dammit!
Breeze walked towards the door in a shorts and singlet pyjama combo, her hair tied into a messy bun. Her eyes bulged as recognition hit her, and she thumped towards the door. Oh God.
Swinging it open, she narrowed her eyes and planted her hands on her hips. Her lips pressed into a firm line as silence settled between us. I didn’t want to imagine how I looked, standing there grovelling on her doorstep, still in the same outfit from hours earlier with Dax.
She tilted her head, brow raised.
“Sorry,” I whispered, biting the inside of my cheek to hold back the tears.
Her eyes stayed narrowed for a moment longer. Then, without warning, she pulled me into her arms.
“You’re such a dick,” she said.
“I know,” I mumbled into her shoulder as I hugged her back. “It’s kind of my thing.”
She held me out in front of her. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shook my head and then nibbled my bottom lip. I’d mucked Breeze around big time, and she deserved to know why. The thing was, I still wasn’t sure if I could explain it.
I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “I don’t know why I do this stuff, and I can’t really explain what happened. I just know I want to stop acting like this.”
She searched my gaze for a moment and then nodded, grabbing my navy pack from the doorway and throwing it over her shoulder.
“Dax was here earlier,” she said, turning towards the downstairs kitchen.
I froze. My body emptying of everything except my pounding heart. Breeze turned her head back, evaluating my response but said nothing.
I dipped my head and followed behind her.
“He asked to leave something for you. He was surprised to hear you’d gone.”
I hadn’t let myself think about Dax since I deleted his text. I had no idea how to deal with him, and I didn’t plan to figure it out either. Everything was for Olivia now. Not me.
We walked upstairs to the flat and Taco trotted up to greet us, her little lips curling into a smile. I scooped her into my arms, pressing her to my chest, rolling her wispy fur between my fingers.
“I put it on the bed, in case you came back,” Breeze said.
“You thought I’d come back?”
She lifted a shoulder and scratched Taco under the chin. “You’re not as complicated as you think you are.”
A strange sound escaped my throat, and a small smile tugged at my lips. She was being far more understanding than I would’ve been if our roles were reversed.
“I’m glad you’re back,” she said.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. The oven needs cleaning again, and I was dreading it.”
I wrinkled my nose and flicked her shoulder.
“I am glad though,” she added sincerely, holding my gaze before turning towards her room. Taco wriggled out of my arms and followed her.
Walking back into my room felt odd.
Mostly because I was calling it my room.
It felt like home, and relief washed over me.
An orange envelope sat on the unmade bed and I dropped my bag onto the woven rug and sat next to it. I wanted to toss it in the bin and forget it existed. But something kept drawing my gaze back, like it was a flame I couldn’t ignore.
What harm could it do? He already knew I was crazy now, anyway.
I peeled the top flap open and pulled out the thin contents. On the back of a photo, Dax had scribbled a note in pencil:
Thought this might come in handy in case you have any more problems.
I turned the photo over and my hand flew to my mouth.
It was Miss Lissy and a man. Inside her car. Their hands caught mid-exchange.
He didn’t look like someone she’d normally associate with. This one reminded me of Josh. An addict.
Surely she wasn’t buying drugs?
I crossed the room to the small desk by the window, pulled open the drawer and grabbed an eraser. I rubbed out Dax’s note quickly.
Could never be too careful.
Was this unprofessional of him? Absolutely. But was it also something a friend would do as a solid? Yes. Would I continue to deconstruct all the reasons he could have left this for me after what happened earlier this evening until my mind melted into a vat of shame?
Also yes.