Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
I’d left Jono looking frustrated but not angry at the garage door.
He’d waved away the money for the oil when I tried to press it into his hand, and I made sure to close the rabbit hole in my mind that whispered he was just trying to get rid of the crazy lady who’d given him a bad case of blue balls.
Or worse—that he was paying me for the brief encounter we did have.
I felt frustrated. The pressure of the day still built inside me with no liberation in sight. At least my bank balance hadn’t changed.
The thought of facing Breeze—or anyone—made me feel like I was drowning after being hit by a wave.
My phone lit up again with a text from Rick.
ANSWER YOUR PHONE!
I’d ignored his three video calls and the five phone calls that came through before that. Ignoring Rick wasn’t wise. He was likely to show up wherever you were, even if it was three planes and a boat ride away. He also wasn't opposed to humiliation.
Hard to see why he’d been single as long as me—until now. The lumberjack must have a saint's tolerance.
I sighed and finally pressed the green circle when the phone lit up again.
“Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been worried sick!”
Not even a polite hello. Worked for me.
“Hi, Rick,” I heard my hollow voice reply.
“Are you okay?”
“No. But I don’t want to talk about it.” I sighed. No point lying. Rick knew me better than anyone else.
Silence filled the line as Rick considered his response.
“That prick. I knew he was going to upset you.” He blew out a breath. “Is this like the time you lost the London contract, or the time Jared moved back to Canada?”
I scowled at the phone. London had been my biggest copywriting contract with the largest brokerage in the city.
Losing that had taken a mega hit on my income.
Jared had been the only grown-up relationship I’d ever had.
It was four months of me being on my best behaviour, totally possible when you know there’s an end date because the person is leaving the country.
And four months of him being the kindest, safest man I’d met on the planet, besides Mr Vee, that is.
We don’t talk about how that all changed once he left and how the unexpected wave of grief rocked my world so much I told him I wished I’d trapped him in London by getting pregnant.
Which was a lie, of course. Then I threw a slew of desperate and mildly abusive messages his way.
And how that caused him, understandably, to never ever to want to speak to me again and definitely not consider the long-distance relationship we’d been discussing.
He’d never met the real me. Just the version I thought I was supposed to be.
I sighed again, sounding like a balloon deflating.
“Do we have to do this?”
“Yes,” Rick snapped.
“Fine. Like the time Jared moved back to Canada. Now can you leave me alone?”
Rick sucked in a breath and paused again. I could practically hear him checking flight times.
“I can probably get there by morning,” he said, more to himself than for my benefit. “No, you don’t need to come,” he replied to someone else.
Slush filled my stomach at the thought of anyone else seeing me like this or at his lumberjack learning what a mess I was.
“No one needs to come!” I said loudly.
“Babe. You have no choice. You can either tell me about it now or tell me about it when I get there. Either way, I’m coming.”
“That’s what he said,” I replied, closing my eyes at the shit storm that had become my life.
“That’s my girl,” he said. “Text me the address of that café you’re staying at. And so help me, Riley, if you don’t, I will turn up in that town and visit every café until I find you.”
He would too. He’d even gone to June’s when he couldn’t find me after the Jared thing. I hadn’t been there, of course. Sharing my vulnerability with family had never been my thing.
“There’s only two cafe's in town.”
“Then it won’t take me long.”
A noise escaped me like a hiccup, although I’d stopped crying hours ago.
“Can you hang out with Breeze tonight? Or that tiny dog—what’s its name? Croissant?”
“Taco,” I corrected. “I don't want to tell anyone.”
“Then tell the dog.”
“She doesn’t want to hear my crap.” Even as I said it, I knew it wasn’t true. Taco was like a magical little unicorn that absorbed every negative feeling around her and replaced it with love.
“Try her,” he said and hung up.
But inside the flat above the closed café, Taco was nowhere to be seen. I guessed Breeze was taking her business budget nights more seriously than I’d thought.
My phone buzzed again as I fumbled in the dark to get upstairs, and I answered it on autopilot.
“Farrrk off,” I sighed into the speaker. Rick was winning the award for most annoying friend tonight.
“Riley?” came the gravelly voice.
Heat flooded my face.
I threw my head back and groaned. “Thought you were someone else.”
Dax cleared his throat. “Sorry. I was calling to see how things were going with the house. I can call back another time.”
“Why?” I snapped, more sharply than I meant to. “It’s not like you’re here. Why are you still calling about it?”
He’d left. Like everyone always did.
Silence filled the line.
“Why do you care at all?” Apparently, I was on a roll.
“You’re all so bloody nosy. If I wanted you to know, you would know.
If there were a problem, I’d call the police.
I know you’ve got some kind of saviour complex, but you’re not the only person working in this town, no matter how much you want people to think that. ”
I heard him swallow, and he cleared his throat again. “Sorry about the misunderstanding. It won’t happen again.”
The line went dead.
Shame flooded me immediately. I slumped against the hallway trying to fuel myself with anger even though I knew it was me in the wrong.
Why do you do that, Riley? I sniffed, wiping my eyes as I flicked on the kitchen light to a note.
Frittata in the fridge. Eat!
Love, Breeze
The last thing I wanted was to be around anyone tonight.
But in the empty apartment, I realised I’d been looking forward to the comfort that Breeze and Taco afforded me.
I so desperately didn’t want to share myself or my life with anyone, but the longing in my chest betrayed me, and I had fewer humans in my circle than ever before.
Perhaps I really would end up all alone.