Chapter Seven
Faith
I take my cues from Jason, who is silent on the way home after the trip to the frat house.
I give him his space, not wanting to intrude on his personal thoughts, using the time to check in with Kelsey, who has everything at the store under control.
She even offers to open in the morning, and since she knows the recipes and we have nonperishable items to sell, I agree.
I realize, however, it’s time to hire more people to help at the store.
Not only because of the Colton situation and the fact that I can’t always be there right now, but because I deserve some time off.
I’ve been handling things by myself for a year, with only Kelsey part-time to help out.
So that is on my definite to-do list and ASAP.
Jason has been so quiet, even on the elevator ride up to his apartment, that it takes me by surprise when, after we enter the apartment, take off our jackets, and hang them in the closet, he spins me around, pulling me against him.
“I need you,” he says, and I have no intention of denying him. Not after how he bared his soul to me earlier, helping me to understand everything about him.
I kick off my shoes and socks, lift my hands and unbutton each button, letting my shirt drop to the floor.
His heated stare falls to my full breasts, and as he watches, I reach behind me and release the bra clasp, letting the straps fall down my arms. Cool air rushes over my nipples, hardening them into tight peaks.
Feeling his gaze hot on mine, I unbutton my trousers, releasing them as well. I kick the pants aside.
Jason’s eyes darken with need. “Go on.”
I swallow hard. Hooking my fingers into my panties, I pull them down and off, leaving me standing in the entryway of his apartment naked.
I stare at him. His hooded gaze, the flush in his cheeks peeking over the scruff on his face, and the fact that he is fully dressed all work to arouse me unbearably.
Dampness slickens between my thighs and my sex throbs with desire.
But I am well aware that this is Jason’s show, his pace, his pain that he needs to work out.
As I stand bared to him, he removes his shoes. His socks, shirt, and slacks along with his boxer briefs come next, tossed onto the pile of my clothes. His erection stands prominently against his belly, the sight causing a throbbing in my core.
I lick my lips, and his eyes darken at the sight.
Slowly, I step closer to him, my gaze never leaving his, then I lower myself to my knees.
“Faith,” he says, a harsh warning in his tone.
I look up at him through my lashes and smile. “Yes?”
“Fuck,” he says, his hand coming to rest on my head.
He needs this, that much I know, and if I can make him forget his troubles for a little while, that’s what I want to do. Because I’m coming to care deeply for this dark knight of mine.
I wrap my hand around his stiffness, gliding my palm over the velvety yet rigid length.
Dipping my head, I lick the salty white coating off the head and he groans, his fingers tightening in my hair.
The tug is arousing, turning me on, but not as much as being on my knees and giving him pleasure. And that is my goal.
With my hand on the base of his shaft, I open my mouth and glide my lips down his cock.
His big body shudders and I grow heady with the knowledge that I affect him.
Pulling him inside my mouth, I slick my tongue over and under his thick member.
I draw him deep until the head of his cock hits the back of my throat.
Forcing myself to relax, I swallow over him, managing not to choke, and he yanks harder on my hair.
I groan around him as he begins to rock his hips back and forth, thrusting his cock into my mouth, using me to take what he needs. With my hands now braced on his thighs, I let him take over. He pumps himself in and out, and I suck him harder, causing a warning tap on my head.
“I’m going to come,” he says gruffly, clearly expecting me to release him, but I have other plans.
I hum around him and urge him to continue. He thrusts once, twice, and comes with a grunt, streaming down my throat, and I swallow over and over until he relaxes, sliding out of my mouth.
“Shit, sweetness, I wanted that to be inside you.”
“It was,” I say with a pleased chuckle. He helps me to my feet and, taking me off guard, lifts me into his arms. I squeak in surprise and wrap my arms around his neck, as he carries me into his bedroom.
No sooner has he deposited me on the bed than he spreads my thighs and comes down over me, his face level with my sex, and begins to lick, suck, and devour me like a starving man. At the first slide of his tongue, I moan, suddenly aware of how very aroused I already am.
His mouth works magic, the experience fresh and new, as everything with Jason seems to be.
He knows his way around my body. I never knew my breasts were sensitive, never realized I could come from oral sex.
But as he slides his tongue inside me, his nose nudging my clit, waves of sensation and awareness shudder through me.
Warm and delicious, my body responds to his intense ministrations, the way he delicately plays with my clit causing me to buck against him.
He must realize he’s hit the right spot, because he pulls the tight bud into his mouth and grazes it with his teeth. A swell of desire takes hold and doesn’t let go as he brings me up and over the edge.
I’ve been grasping the comforter, hanging on as he eats at me, but with the surge of desire, I need to hold on to him. I grasp his hand as I grind my sex against his mouth, riding out the most explosive climax I’ve ever had.
Before I can fully finish, he comes over me, nudging my legs apart and pushing himself deep.
“Oh, God, Jason!” I quiver around him, my inner walls clasping him harder. “I’m coming again.”
“Damn right you are,” he mutters and slams into me, grinding his hips against me.
I whimper at the assault, his body rough with mine in all the best possible ways. My gaze on his as I come, I fall into those dark blue eyes, losing myself in this man who has all but sworn he will never truly be mine.
Pushing those thoughts aside, I let my body enjoy the peak and slow tumble back to reality, coming to with his big body on top of mine. With a grunt, he rolls to his side, pulling out of me, and I feel the loss in more ways than physical.
He presses a long kiss on my lips. “Be right back,” he says and rises to walk into the bathroom. I hear the water run, and he returns, helping me clean up before pulling me back into his arms.
We doze for a while, and when I wake up, he’s staring into my eyes. “Thank you,” he says in a gruff voice.
“For what?”
“Letting me take what I needed. Giving me more than I deserve.”
I lay my head in the crook of his shoulder. “You carry a lot of pain inside you. It’s good to let it out.”
He merely grunts in reply.
“I have a question,” I say, having realized earlier that this is the one thing he hasn’t addressed.
His arm pulls me tighter against him. “What’s that?”
Drawing a deep breath, I ask, “Who’s the woman and the little boy in the picture on your desk?”
He exhales slowly. “When Levi died, he had a girlfriend, Amber. He didn’t know it at the time, but he’d gotten her pregnant.”
“Oh, God.”
I feel him nod. “Yeah.”
“In the beginning, there wasn’t much the guys and I could do but be there for her, but after the club started bringing in money, we helped her out. LJ, that’s his name, Levi Jr., means a lot to all of us.”
“That’s so sad,” I whisper, unable to imagine how difficult the woman’s life has been. A single mother, still in college…
“She doesn’t live in the city, so we don’t see them nearly as much as we’d like, but the relationship is strong.”
And LJ is the child he already has, I realize, my heart pounding hard in my chest at the thought. These men and the bond they share with each other, and with Amber and her son, give Jason all the family he believes he needs.
We lay in silence, each lost in our own thoughts. After today, I understand Jason more than ever. I’ve never felt so close to him … and he’s never felt further out of reach.
* * *
Jason
The next morning, I wake up before Faith. Last night, we stayed up late, ordered in pizza, and … dammit, I can’t call it having sex. I made love to her.
After the hard, punishing way I took her the first time, we fell asleep again, and then I found myself sliding into her slowly.
Rocking against her as she woke up to me pumping in and out of her, our gazes locked on each other, emotions passing between us.
Despite my vow to remain detached, I haven’t been able to do it.
Not with this woman who is burrowing her way deep inside me.
Not that it changes anything. When her problems are solved, she’ll go back to her life and I’ll return to mine. Solitary and safe, the way I like it. I have no choice. I don’t see myself opening up enough for marriage and a family, and that’s what Faith wants. What she deserves.
I mutter a curse, and leaving her sleeping, I slip out of bed.
I pull on a pair of sweats before walking to the kitchen, where I immediately make myself a cup of coffee.
Yesterday was unexpected and brutal, the revelation of my past completely unplanned, but if there is anyone I would share my pain with, it would be Faith.
Somehow, we bonded, and I trust her as much as my brothers, which is odd. And something that unnerves me to no end. Also something I don’t want to think about too much, so I pick up my coffee mug, drink my caffeine, and begin scrolling through my phone, checking in on Landon and Tanner.
I missed a Saturday night at the club, and my partners aren’t pissed exactly, but they aren’t happy with me, either. Since there is no way I’m going to tell them I was reliving our shared past, I let them give me shit and take it as my due.