Chapter Eight
Jason
I finish my cup of coffee and glance at the two women looking at me expectantly.
I turn to my mother first. “I’m going to drop you off at Sienna’s on my way to work.
” I’ve been neglecting my duties, and one of the things I decided while tossing and turning last night is that it is time for me to get back to normal.
To do my job while protecting Faith at the same time.
The new arrangement will also allow me to get my bearings and my emotions back on an even keel. We’ve been together twenty-four seven, and it is messing with what I know I both want and need in my life.
I meet Faith’s curious gaze, and I know she is going to be hurt by what I say next. Gritting my teeth, I dive in. “I called Jack Renault, and he’s going to pick you up and escort you to work today. He’ll be on bodyguard duty, so you have nothing to worry about.”
I caught her, mug halfway to her mouth. She slowly lowers it and nods. She meets my gaze, to her credit, not looking away as I sever the routine we’ve been in for the last few weeks with no explanation.
“Okay.” She straightens her shoulders, clearly holding back whatever she is feeling. “What time will he be here?”
“Thirty minutes.”
She nods. “I’m going to finish getting ready.” She places the mug into the sink, and without another word, she turns and walks away.
I exhale, watching her go.
“What did you just do?” my mother asks in the tone I recognize as the chiding one from when I was a child.
I run a hand over my face before answering. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, Jason. I spent last night with Faith. I know you’ve been working from her shop, protecting her, making sure she’s safe. Now suddenly you’re sending her with a bodyguard? The poor girl looked blindsided.”
I swallow back a curse. I probably could have handled it better.
But when? I made the call to Renault while she showered, then fell asleep on my side of the bed before she turned in for the night.
I just need a break, and I took it. I left her in bed to shower and later met up with her in the kitchen.
“It’s for the best,” I tell my mother. “We were getting too attached. It wasn’t a normal situation. The guys were getting annoyed that I wasn’t there. We’re close to opening a new version of the club. I need to be focused.”
She narrows her gaze. “What did it?” she asks, lowering her voice. “Was it your father? Me? Almost losing Sienna? Or was it Levi that severed you emotionally?”
I rear back in shock. All this time, I thought I kept my feelings to myself. Went about my life. Lived it to the fullest. I never showed anyone my weakness, and yet here is my mother, nailing it in one breath.
“All of it maybe?” I say, uncharacteristically allowing myself to have this conversation.
“Jason, I can see how deeply you care about this woman. She’s special. She’s intelligent, smart, can run a business, and she cares about you. Don’t lose her because you’re afraid.”
I shake my head. It goes so much deeper than that.
I don’t deserve happiness when Levi is buried and I did nothing to stop it.
This is a thought I rarely let myself have, but I allow it now because I need the reminder.
With my mother pushing me toward Faith and Faith’s pull so strong, I have to prompt my memory.
The thought of Levi will keep me strong when desire threatens to pull me into the light.
“I can’t, Mom. She deserves someone who can give her everything. And I’ve given up on having it all.” I deliberately glance at the clock on the microwave. “We need to get going.”
My mother sighs. “One day you’re going to look back and realize that you alone destroyed any chance you had at happiness. A chance you deserved. And one Levi would want you to have and live for him.”
I shake my head and walk away.
* * *
Faith
Jack Renault is a large man, bulky and heavyset, wearing a blazer beneath his winter jacket.
I feel safe with him but not as safe as I felt knowing Jason was nearby.
I’m not stupid. I knew our arrangement couldn’t last. Not when he has an important business to run that has opposite hours of my own, but I enjoyed the time I had with him.
And if I gave it thought, I assumed we’d have an adult conversation before he up and hired a bodyguard and went back to his normal routine. Instead he waited until he slept with me and then ran scared. I have no doubt that’s what occurred, either.
After an incredible night where he opened up emotionally, after we gave ourselves to each other in intimate ways I never have imagined, he slipped out of bed before me and I woke up alone.
I have no doubt it was deliberate. Then his mother arrived, and we had no time alone to rehash or discuss, and I honestly think Jason was relieved.
Now I have a bodyguard, and Jason’s distance speaks volumes.
Well, it isn’t like I have nothing to do. Although it was only this past weekend that I provided the treats for Izzy’s son’s birthday, three of her friends contacted me via email already.
“Faith?” Kelsey calls me from the kitchen.
“Yes?” I glance out at the shop devoid of customers and walk into the back.
The young woman seems nervous, which is unlike her.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“I was wondering if you had more hours for me? My classes this semester are almost over and I—”
“Yes!” I don’t even let her finish. “Yes, of course. As a matter of fact, I was thinking of hiring someone else, as well. It’ll free me up for other parts of the business,” I say, and go on to explain the party favor aspect I discovered courtesy of Izzy Dare.
“I want to build the business, and you’re going to be a key part. ”
Kelsey’s eyes light up at the prospect. “I won’t let you down,” she promises.
And I don’t think she will.
Kelsey returns to work, and I head back out front, my gaze falling on Jack Renault, who looks fierce as his stare holds the front door.
I sigh. If this mess doesn’t end soon, I won’t have customers. Jack Renault’s expression will scare them off.
I walked up to him, meeting his gaze. “Can we talk?”
“What can I do for you, Ms. Lancaster?”
“I want to know why it’s been so hard to find my brother? And if we do find him, how can we prove he’s been vandalizing my business and my house? I need to get my life back!” And so does Jason.
He’s made it clear he is finished giving up his time for me, and I want to free him up and get out of his space.
As much as it hurts my heart, because I am definitely falling for the man, he can’t give me what I want or need.
Oh, when he made love to me, I believed it, but not when he shut me out right after.
“Your brother is obviously hanging out with people who aren’t on the radar, so to speak. I haven’t been able to track a cell. He’s gone underground.”
I frown, wrapping my arms around myself. “What if I lure him out somehow?”
Now it’s the man’s turn to scowl. “Look, I don’t know how you’d find him, for one thing, and for another, Jason Dare wouldn’t just fire and not pay me, he’d have my head on a platter.
Then Gabriel Dare would let me go and that’s my bread and butter.
So I suggest you stay put. Your brother’s going to mess up sooner or later, and we’ll get him.
I’m pretty damn sure it’ll be illegal, which will put him in jail.
Just relax and let me do my job. You go make candy,” he says, talking down to me, which I don’t appreciate.
Stamping my feet won’t help, so I spin around and head back behind the counter. I can’t give Jason his space if I’m not safe, and I can’t change the status quo, either. Which leaves me frustrated at having to wait for Colton to make a move.
* * *
Jason
I spend the day and night at the club, back on my usual schedule.
In an odd way, my mother’s issues allowed me to take a step back from Faith.
After spending the day with Sienna, my mom is at my apartment with Faith, both women being watched over by Jack Renault’s nighttime bodyguard outside the building, who will keep both Colton and Robert Dare far away.
I don’t have to worry about either of them. I’m free to do my job. It’s exactly what I wanted … so why am I so fucking stir-crazy and unable to concentrate on anything but what Faith is doing? Worse, what Faith is feeling after my dick move of dumping her on a bodyguard with no warning.
“Hey, where do we stand with entertainment?” Landon asks, walking into my office, where I’ve been holed up all day. Normally we sit together in the joint space, but I haven’t been in the mood for the ribbing I’d take about finally joining them again.
“Grey’s out. My half-sister’s pregnant and not feeling well,” I say, knowing it isn’t like Landon is going to spill the beans to my family. “He’s trying to get us a performer.”
“Have you reached out to Charlotte as a possibility?” Tanner walks into the room, a can of cola in his hand.
I groan and close my eyes, a picture of Charlotte, her long black hair and willowy body, filtering through my brain. Worse, the memory of her hands on my body as we fucked also made its way through. I don’t want anyone touching me but Faith. Shit.
I shake my head. “Anyone but her,” I mutter.
Tanner narrows his gaze. “Are you really that far gone for the girl that you can’t even hire an ex to sing?”
Yes. “No. I just don’t want to deal with her wandering hands and inability to take no for an answer. It took me long enough to convince her it was over last time. No need to go there again.”
One stalker in a family is enough, I muse, thinking of Faith’s brother, until my words catch me up short. Family? Faith?
I groan and run a hand through my hair. “Can you assholes leave? I’m trying to get work done. You left me spreadsheets and work up the ass.”
Landon shakes his head and laughs, while Tanner says what he is thinking. “Whipped, man. Let me know when the wedding is.”