Chapter 22
twenty-two
Kate
Once we got back on the RVs, focusing on anything other than Josh was a lost cause. Especially when I opened my laptop to find one of his Post-it notes. At first, I thought we got our laptops mixed up and I accidentally ended up with his, but when I read the note, tears stung my eyes.
In case no one’s told you today: you’re amazing.
Can’t wait to see you again in Baltimore.
I’ve been staring at the note long enough for my screen to dim, then black out completely.
Long enough for my throat to tighten and my chest to ache.
I brush a thumb over the neatly scripted words and smile through the burn in my eyes before tucking it into the back of my notebook and shifting my focus to my laptop screen, the cursor blinking back at me like it’s judging me for the ten-minute delay in responding to a simple podcast confirmation.
In my defense, Josh’s name is in the subject line, which doesn’t help, because the second I saw it, my brain didn’t think confirm the schedule—it thought about his mouth.
Specifically, the way he used it yesterday morning when I was pressed up against the shower wall, my legs wrapped around his shoulders, my fingers in his hair, steam curling around us like it was helping keep our secret.
My fingers hover uselessly over the keyboard as heat builds between my thighs.
Internally, I groan. He’s not even here and yet my body is reacting like he is.
Like we aren’t separated by a few RVs and a lonely stretch of highway.
Like his mouth is still on my skin and his voice is still low and rough in my ear, telling me all the filthy things he’s going to do to me.
I’m supposed to be working. Supposed to be sending an email, not replaying the way he growled my name while I came under the mercy of his tongue.
I squeeze my eyes shut, exhale slowly, and try to summon some level of professionalism.
One email. That’s all. I just have to send one email.
I open my eyes again and groan when I see that while I’ve been sitting here fantasizing about my boss and his endless supply of mind-blowing orgasms, his inbox now has seventeen new emails.
“You alright over there?” Dani asks from where she’s seated in one of the recliners.
“Honestly? I need a distraction,” I say, shutting my laptop and rubbing my palms into my eyes. “Can we stuff ourselves full of junk food, watch a movie, and ignore our responsibilities?”
“Of course we can,” she says, closing her laptop and setting it on the table beside her. “Eric and Josh do it all the time. Should we watch in bed?”
“God, yes. Ed, you need anything before we disappear for the night?” I ask our driver, as I raid the cupboards for all the junk food I can carry.
“I’m all good up here, Kate. Thank you,” he says, smiling at me through the rearview mirror. “Have fun!”
We decide to watch Clueless, because it’s our ultimate comfort movie and we both need something brainless and happy.
Dani queues it up while I settle in beside her with a bag of Sour Patch Kids in one hand and a can of Cherry Coke in the other.
She immediately starts quoting every other line and yelling at the screen like she hasn’t seen this movie a hundred times, and I can’t help but smile because it finally hits me how wildly and wonderfully different my life is now.
A few months ago, I was stuck in a routine that felt like sleepwalking.
Same days, same expectations, same people who didn’t even realize I was there.
And now I’m here. Traveling the country with my best friend, meeting people I never would’ve crossed paths with otherwise, and having the best sex of my life.
It’s chaotic and a little scary at times, but I also feel more like me than I ever have. Like this happy-go-lucky part was always in there, just stuck under the weight of someone else’s expectations and waiting to be set free.
Letting out a contented sigh, I rest my head on Dani’s shoulder, and she kisses the top of my head before resting her cheek there.
“I’m really glad you came with me,” she murmurs into my hair.
A lump rises in my throat, but I smile through it. “Me too,” I whisper back—and I mean it more than I’ve ever meant anything. Deciding to do this tour with her was terrifying, but I can’t imagine myself anywhere else.
After the movie, we brush our teeth and change into our pajamas before Dani heads out to the bunks, pulling the door closed behind her. I plug my phone in and as soon as I set it on the bedside table, the screen lights up with back-to-back texts from Josh.
Josh: I officially hate this RV.
Josh: I miss you.
I grin and bite my lip.
Kate: Sir, this is screens off time. You’re breaking the rules.
Josh: I didn’t get where I am today by following the rules, Kate.
Josh: And besides, what are you going to do about it?
Kate: Punish you.
Josh: You have my attention…
I roll my eyes and flip over onto my back.
Kate: Not like that.
Kate: Although…
What if I sent him a picture?
The idea alone is enough to make my entire body flush with heat. I’ve never done it before, but I miss him, he clearly misses me, and maybe this would make the space between us feel just a little bit smaller.
Sitting up, I confirm that the door to the bedroom is locked and look down at my phone.
Nope. Bad idea.
I lock my phone and toss it onto the bed like it burned me. What am I thinking? I don’t do things like this. I barely take selfies, let alone…that. What if I mess it up? What if the lighting is terrible or I get the angle all wrong?
I groan and press my face into my pillow, trying to push the thought away, but it doesn’t go anywhere. It stays. Festers. Floats back up into the front of my brain no matter how hard I try and force it back into the trenches.
I reach blindly for my phone again, batting at the comforter until I feel it under my fingers. I roll over, biting my lip as I unlock it.
A slow, nervous wave of excitement runs through me as I open my camera, and my pulse kicks up a notch.
“Okay,” I murmur, clutching the phone to my chest. “You can do this.”
I remove my clothes, position myself on the bed in what I hope is a pleasing angle, and press the shutter button before going back to our messages, noticing that I missed a few from him.
Josh: Although?
Josh: Although??
Josh: If ignoring me is the punishment, I just want you to know that I hate it. I hate it very much.
I smile and send the photo, and his reply is almost instant.
Josh: Jesus fucking Christ. This is NOT making me want to put my phone down.
Josh: How is this a punishment??
I bite the nail on my thumb and type my reply.
Kate: Just showing you what I get to touch and you do not.
Josh: You’re playing with fire, sweetheart. You know that, right?
I stare at my screen, the corner of my mouth twitching. I can practically hear the low, raspy warning in his voice, and it makes my cheeks burn. I squeeze my thighs together, knowing damn well I started this, but he’s going to finish it.
Kate: So dramatic.
Josh: You think you’re going to tease me and not deal with the consequences?
Josh: When I get my hands on you again, I’m going to make you come so many times, you’ll be begging me to stop.
Kate: If that’s supposed to discourage this type of behavior, I regret to inform you that it is most definitely not working.
Josh: You think you're in control right now, but you’re not. You can tease me all you want sweetheart, but just know that the second I see you, I’m dragging you into the nearest room and reminding you who is in control.
Josh: You want to play dirty? I’ll fucking destroy you.
I know I’m playing a dangerous game, but I can’t seem to make myself care.
The moment I see his last message, my entire body flashes hot, his words settling between my thighs. I shift under the covers, suddenly aware of how sensitive my skin feels against the sheets.
He can’t touch me right now, but it feels like he is.
I swallow hard and decide to push my luck a little further.
Kate: Good. Destroy me. I’ll be the sweetest mess you’ve ever made.
Josh: Oh sweetheart, you have no idea what you're asking for.
Josh: But I’ll give it to you anyway. And when you’re begging me to stop, just remember that you asked for it.
My breath catches, and I set my phone beside me for a second, just long enough to close my eyes and try to breathe.
I’m not sure if it’s the words themselves or the way I can practically feel his voice behind them, but every part of me responds to him like he’s already here. Like he’s already touching me.
I’ve never craved someone like I crave this man, and it should probably concern me—the way I ache to give in, to lose control, to come completely undone and be at his mercy.
It’s not just lust. It’s not the rush of the teasing or the heat between us. It’s deeper. Sharper. I crave him because I trust him, and that’s what should concern me the most.
Because a part of me already knows that trusting Josh is going to ruin me in more ways than one.