Chapter 37
thirty-seven
Josh
An aggressive pounding at the door jolts me awake, the sound immediately followed by my phone vibrating on the bedside table next to me.
“What?” I say answering the call, my voice rough.
“Dude, are you up?” Eric asks.
“Of course I’m not up,” I groan, keeping my voice low and peeking over at Kate who is, thankfully, still fast asleep beside me. “It’s five in the goddamn morning.”
“Alright, well you might want to get up and let us in. We, uh, we need to talk.” My heart lurches in my chest when I pick up on the serious tone in his voice.
“Did something happen? Is everyone alright?” I ask, sitting up and throwing my legs over the side of the bed.
“Everyone is…fine?” he says, and I don’t like the question in his voice. “Just let us in, alright?”
“Yeah, I’ll be right there.” I hang up the call, pull on a pair of sweats, and head to the door. I open it to see Kevin, Max, Eric, Tyler, and Dani standing in the hallway in their pajamas, faces serious and…wow, Dani looks pissed.
“Guys, what’s going on?” I ask, heart racing in my chest.
“Is Kate in there with you?” Dani asks.
“What?” I say, closing the door a little more to block the view into my room and shifting on my feet. “No. Why, uh, why would she be in here?” Dani levels me with a glare. “What the fuck is going on?” I ask again.
They all look at each other, a seemingly silent conversation happening between them as they shift around exchanging shrugs and nods. Tyler takes her phone out of her pocket, unlocks it, and hands it to me.
It takes a second to process what I’m looking at, but as soon as I do, it feels as though my heart has been torn from my chest.
Calloway Casual: Sexiest Man Alive Linked to Staffer in Steamy New Pics
Looks like Josh Calloway is living up to his reputation once again. The Velvet Shadows frontman was spotted getting cozy with a redheaded beauty after the band’s recent sold-out show at Madison Square Garden, sparking rumors that the serial heartbreaker has a new flavor of the week.
Sources say the mystery woman has been traveling with the band, and is none other than Josh’s assistant, Kate Martin…
My hand is shaking as I scroll through the article. Through photos of us dancing at the club in Vegas and kissing in the parking lot after the show in New York.
“It gets worse,” Ty says, swiping to the next tab she has open.
Oh, it gets so much worse.
With Kate’s full name in the article, the site I’m looking at now contains all of her personal information—where she went to school and what she majored in. Her previous occupation. Her father’s goddamn home address.
But what pisses me off the most are the comments from jealous fans calling her a “convenient fuck” or saying I’m “slumming it” by being with her. It’s not fair. It’s everything she endured with Anthony on repeat.
“Fuck,” I say, my free hand curling into a fist at my side.
“I’ll ask you again,” Dani says, crossing her arms over her chest. “Is Kate in there with you?” I nod once and step aside. Dani pushes past me into the room, everyone else following suit in a far less aggressive manner.
I close the door and head straight to the bed where Kate is waking up, likely from the fact that no one is being particularly quiet.
“What’s going on?” she asks, looking from Dani, to Tyler, and finally, to me.
“There’s been a…privacy leak,” Dani says.
She nods to me, indicating she wants me to hand Kate the phone, but I’m frozen where I stand, the article still open and glowing like a spotlight in my hand.
My grip tightens like I can crush the words, shatter the images, and make it all disappear if I just squeeze it hard enough, but the reality is that it’s out there.
Spreading its way through the internet like wildfire.
This is exactly what she’s been so afraid of. I assured her we were alone in New York, yet I’m holding the evidence of how wrong I was. She trusted me, and I let her down.
The realization slams into my chest and something in me cracks open. My heart starts racing and I feel myself spiraling. My breath catches and I can’t seem to get enough air, because I know exactly what this means.
They took away her choice. Her privacy. The only things she ever asked me to keep safe.
And I let it happen.
I rub a shaking hand over my face, willing myself to calm down and think, but every rational thought that comes into my mind is immediately drowned out by the roar of my blood in my ears.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this kind of panic, and it’s suffocating, pulling tighter around my ribs like a python with every unsteady breath.
I force myself to look at her and I feel sick. She has no idea what this means or how drastically her life is going to change.
She won’t want this. She won’t want you. Not anymore. She’ll walk away.
Just like Emily.
Self-doubt has my heart in a death grip. The idea of Kate walking away from me forever is causing a pain so strong that I break, tears running down my cheeks in quick succession.
“Josh,” Kate says, crawling across the bed to reach me. She kneels at the side of the mattress and places her hands on my face, and the look of concern in her eyes guts me, because it’s something I know I don’t deserve.
“Someone saw us together in New York,” I say, voice thick through a throat that feels like it’s closing up on me. “There are photos of us all over the internet.”
“Not just photos,” Dani cuts in. “You’ve been doxed. They have your full name, every place you’ve ever worked, your dad’s name and address…”
Tears fall harder as I watch the color drain from Kate’s beautiful face. Her eyes are still locked on mine, and they’re searching desperately, begging me to tell her that Dani’s wrong. That this is all some kind of sick joke.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, closing my eyes, unable to look at her. I should probably care that my room is full of people and I’m a goddamn mess, but I don’t. My only concern is the woman in front of me.
The woman I love.
The woman I betrayed.
I feel Tyler’s phone slide from my hand at the same time Kate pulls away.
When I open my eyes again, she’s kneeling on the bed in front of me scrolling through the article.
Tears line her bottom lashes and shine like diamonds in the blue light of the phone’s screen.
She presses a hand to her mouth as she continues to scroll and with every second that passes, the pressure of the panic building in my chest gets worse.
“It had to be Anthony,” Dani says, breaking the silence.
“How do you know?” Ty asks.
“Unlike the photos from New York, the photos from Vegas were obviously taken on a cell phone and are angled from about where he was standing at the bar,” Dani explains.
“My guess is Anthony took the ones in Vegas, and knowing how much money he stood to make if his hunch about you two was correct, he then hired a private investigator to tail you.”
We’d been so goddamn careful. Until New York. Until I got greedy and couldn’t wait fifteen fucking minutes for Tyler to leave so I could touch her in the privacy of my RV.
“Oh my god,” Kate says, rising from the bed. She starts pacing the room and shaking her hands out at her sides. “What does this mean?” she asks, turning to Dani.
“It means…” Dani lets out a slow exhale as she tucks a strand of Kate’s hair behind her ear and cups her cheek.
The act is so intimate that I can’t help but feel a pang of jealously that Kate is turning to Dani for comfort and not me.
“As soon as you leave this hotel, life as you know it will change.”
“What do you mean ‘when I leave this hotel?’” Kate asks, stepping back like Dani slapped her.
Dani’s eyes don’t leave Kate’s as she says, “There are already about a hundred paparazzi outside.” Kate audibly swallows. “They were in the lobby until I forced security to kick them out.”
Kate freezes, her eyes wide, and her chest motionless—as if Dani’s words have knocked the air out of her lungs. For a beat, she doesn’t move. Doesn’t blink. Just stands there as the reality of it all crashes over her.
“They’re already here?” she whispers, wrapping her arms around her torso, a subconscious effort to hold herself together as her mind races.
“I’m going to fucking kill you,” Dani growls, rounding on me. “You, of all people, should know better! You jeopardized her privacy for a fling?”
“It’s not a fling,” I say, throwing my arms up to block Dani’s hand from connecting with my face.
“Explain,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest.
“This—” I say, gesturing between Kate and me. “This isn’t a fling. We’ve been together for months. No one knew because she wanted privacy, and I respected that. So don’t for one fucking second mistake that for shame or indifference, because I love her.”
Everyone goes eerily still.
“You what?” Kate’s shocked whisper is loud in the silence of the room.
I push past Dani and stand in front of Kate.
A tear slides down her cheek, and I catch it with my thumb.
She stares at me like she’s trying to make sure she heard me right.
Like she thinks I didn’t mean it or that I’m only saying it to get myself out of whatever trouble I’m currently in with her best friend.
So, with my eyes locked on hers, I say it again. Determined to say the words I’ve been dying to say for months in a way that leaves no room for doubt.
“I love you, Kate. I’ve been in love with you longer than I knew what to call it.”
She closes her eyes like my words are too much, and my heart constricts. What if she doesn’t believe me? What if she doesn’t feel the same?