Chapter Twenty-Eight
ISOBEL
Boston
Laying my head on my desk, I took a deep breath. Work had been insane over the last month, trying to get everything organized before my first trip in my new position. Chase and Evan had been in the office all week, going through training with Kristine and Sam with Di from the PR department. Their book launch was tonight, and all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and sleep for like a week straight.
Adrian had been great, feeding me when I forgot, and giving me orgasms when I was stressed, even if I tried to tell him I didn’t have time to fool around. But he’d been there, rolling with the punches when I was moody and not complaining when I fell asleep on the couch instead of joining him in bed most nights.
We’d talked about when I’d schedule my IUD removal, and I’d made an appointment for the week between my trip and the signings in New York. But I felt guilty for considering canceling the appointment. I was barely managing my workload right now. Was it really fair to add a baby to the mix?
I hadn’t told him about my hesitations because he’d been so excited, leaning enthusiastically into practicing . He’d become obsessed with coming inside me, serious about making sure I was full of him as much as I’d allow. Don’t get me wrong, it was hot, but it was also really shitty timing .
“You ready, Isobel?” Kristine asked, standing in my doorway with a small suitcase by her side, a garment bag draped over her arm. We needed to get to the hotel to prep for tonight, but I was exhausted.
“Yeah, let me grab my outfit and I’ll meet you downstairs.”
We rode across town in silence, both of us absorbed in our phones. “You alright?” she asked after I sighed loudly.
“Yeah, just have the sinking feeling I’m going to forget something for tonight. We need this to go off smoothly. The execs want Chase and Evan to knock this one out of the park.”
“Don’t worry.” She patted my hand, reassuring me, and I felt guilty that I needed reassurance from my intern. “We’ve got this down to a science, and you’ve crammed me full of more information than I need to get through the next six weeks. As long as you can keep a muzzle on Adrian, tonight will be fine.”
Spoiler Alert: Everything was not fine.
Three hours later, I paced the hallway between the conference rooms and the nearly empty ballroom, freaking the fuck out. And nothing Adrian said could calm me down. He’d done enough damage tonight with an untimely reappearance of his verbal diarrhea. His brain-to-mouth filter had clearly been damaged by how much we’d had sex lately.
“I thought we were past this,” I sighed, stopping as his palm clasped my upper arm, halting my movements. “Between your mouth and now Evan, this is a freaking disaster.”
“It’ll be okay, Is. He’s done this before. He disappeared for a month after Simone fucked him up last time. We’ll figure this out.”
His author Evan had fled the hotel mid-anxiety attack when his emotionally abusive ex-girlfriend had snuck into the launch party pretending to be her boss. Chase had punched her in the face when she cornered the author, but after she’d been removed from the hotel, she’d run into Evan. The poor guy, who had a particularly severe case of social anxiety, had disappeared in a cab without a trace.
“This isn’t all going to be okay. He’s gone.” Shaking my arm free from him, I resumed my pacing. “Sam has his phone, and he left by himself. Are we really going to hope that the two guys we sent after him are magically going to appear with him before he needs to leave for the airport in the morning?”
“Yeah, I think that’s exactly what we’re hoping for at this point. I’m sure he’s fine.”
“God, you’re so fucking frustrating. Do you ever take anything seriously?” His brow pinched; his expression stunned as I ranted at him. “You’re not even fazed by this. I don’t know if I can be around you right now.”
“Is,” he sighed, trying to reach forward to grasp my wrist, but my throat tightened. My stomach twisted while I covered my mouth and bolted the other way down the hallway.
He followed behind me, catching me by the shoulders as I tried to yank open the outer door to the bathroom. “You alright?”
Heaving, I pushed around him, dropping to my knees in the closest stall, the contents of my stomach emptying into the toilet in front of me.
Adrian knelt behind me, gathering the hair that’d fallen out of my bun away from my face. “Babe, you’re burning yourself out. We can’t change what happened, but you’ve gotta calm down. All this stress can’t be good for you. You can barely keep your eyes open half the time after work. And you’re up before dawn to work on your laptop.”
“Because I have to be,” I whispered, pulling a few sheets of toilet paper loose and wiping my mouth before I let him pull me back into his chest.
“No, you don’t. You need to let me help. Let the people at the office help. I know Sloane offered to divide up some of your open manuscripts to lighten your load. Let her. You’ve gotta stop trying to do everything yourself.”
My lips quivered, tears springing to my eyes when he kissed my temple, not even bothered that we were sitting on the floor of a hotel bathroom a foot away from a toilet full of my vomit.
“Let’s go home and get some sleep. We can come back early tomorrow and figure things out. Sam and Kristine will get Chase ready, and even though I don’t really know them, we need to trust Emory and Nathan will sort out tracking down Evan.”
“But what if—“
“We’re going home,” he told me, voice firm as he pulled me up from the floor, helping me wipe my face and wash out my mouth at the sink before he led me back to the ballroom to gather our things.
He was quiet as he drove back to my apartment building, holding my hand tightly on the center console.
“You’re going to bed when we get inside, and I’ll wake you up at seven so we can get to the hotel in plenty of time.”
“But…”
He shook his head as he parked the car, disentangling our fingers and holding his hand in front of my chest. “Phone. You’re done for the night.”
“You can’t just—“
“For fuck’s sake, Isobel. You got yourself so worked up that you literally made yourself sick. Take a fuckin’ break. Give me the phone. It’s not a question. And we both know I’ll take it from you if I have to.”
Defeated, I pulled it out of my purse, setting it in his open palm as my lip quivered.
“I’m going to run you a bath and you’re going to soak in some of that girly bubble bath you like. I’m going to make you a snack, and then you’re going to bed.”
“But…”
He didn’t let me finish, reaching down to release my seatbelt before he climbed out of the car, walking around the hood with purposeful strides and pulling my door open .
“No arguing.”
Quietly following him into the building after he punched my code in the door, I tried to let everything go. He was right. I was running myself into the ground, and I couldn’t keep living like this.
By the time he unlocked my apartment door, my chest was tight, and my eyes had pooled with tears. Something had to give, and I knew what it was.
Adrian placed our bags on the bench by the front door, leaving me to take off my coat while he headed toward my bedroom. I heard the tub running as I kicked off my heels, reaching up to pull the pins out of my hair. My head ached from my bun, and my temples throbbed as I numbly headed to find Adrian, undressing as I went.
“Come here,” he whispered as I appeared in the doorway in my underwear.
Wrapped in his strong arms, I let the tears fall, not knowing how to talk to him about what I’d decided I needed to let go.
The next morning, as we drove back to the hotel, I stared out the window. He still hadn’t given my phone back, but I had the sinking suspicion things were still a mess.
Kristine cornered me as we walked into the lobby, pulling me away from Adrian with a glare. Before she tugged me off, he pushed my fully charged phone into my hand. She hadn’t liked him before, but with his dumbass comments reappearing this week, she was firmly in the camp that he needed to be shoved into a dumpster.
“Did you hear anything?”
Shaking my head, I swiped open the screen on my phone. No new text messages waiting for me. “No, but you and Sam are going to have to wing it at this point. Get Chase to Chicago and do whatever you have to do to keep things running smoothly. I’ll make sure someone finds him today, and he’s on a plane by tonight. We’ve all got too much riding on this tour going well to screw around.”
“Fuck,” she sighed, glancing over at Adrian’s intern, Sam. “I’m sure golden boy will help me get this shitshow on the road. Spamela is disgustingly optimistic.”
“You really should stop calling him that.”
“Thanks for the input.” Her attitude clearly rivaled mine this morning. “Since we’re giving out unsolicited advice, you really should stop messing around with Dickhead.”
“Kris, that’s…”
“None of my business, I get it, but what the fuck, Is? I thought you had more self-respect than that.”
“Since when have I tolerated you talking to me like this?” I wanted to defend him from her ire, but a small part of me used to agree with her. I wasn’t sure if it still did. His behavior last night had been atrocious.
“Fine. I’ll drop it. But I’m giving him hell if anything happens while we’re on the road.”
“Wouldn’t expect anything less.”
Kristine rolled her eyes before she walked away, whispering something to Chase before people started gathering their bags to head to the airport.
“You ready to go?” Adrian asked, placing his hand on the center of my back.
“Yeah, guess there isn’t anything we can do right now.”
Leaning down to whisper in my ear, he chuckled. “I can think of some things to keep your mind off it.”
“Just…don’t,” I sighed, walking away to hug Chase before they left. She may have been putting on a brave face, but I knew when my author was going through the motions, and she was just on autopilot at this point. I could empathize with that.
“Can you drop me off?” I asked, Adrian’s car slowing at the curb of my building. “I want to lie down. Alone. ”
“Are you sure? I can make you breakfast and keep you company. Help you relax for once until we have to be back at work on Monday.”
His smile vanished when I shook my head, my hand reaching for the door handle as I leaned away from him. He reached across the console, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
Nodding, I tried to hold back the tears that wanted to fall again. “Yeah, just need some space.”
“Are we okay?” he asked, his voice concerned.
I wanted to say, of course we were, but I needed some time away from him to think about where my life was going to go from here. He’d been so on board with the idea of having a baby, and now…
Now I didn’t know what to do.
“Yeah. I just want to sleep and pretend everything is normal right now.” He nodded, his thumb stroking my shoulder. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Is, I’d really like to stay with you right now. I don’t like seeing you upset like this. There’s stuff in my bag I can work on. I promise I won’t bother you. But I don’t want to leave you alone.”
Leaning my head against the back of his hand, I let out a shaky sigh. “I know. But I need time.”
He didn’t protest when I reached for the door again, tears spilling down my cheeks while I walked away without looking back. I knew he’d wait until I was inside, but until I figured out what I wanted, I needed to be by myself. Like I always seemed to end up.