Chapter Thirty-One
ISOBEL
Boston
I was numb. Walking back to the office a few hours—and lots of tests—later, the oppressive heat coming off the sidewalks didn’t even faze me.
The part of me that had craved a child for over fifteen years was elated, but the practical side knew that I had officially bitten off more than I could chew. And the insane part of it all was I didn’t regret it. I was fucking terrified of what the next year would hold, but I wanted this baby. Desperately.
It was strange walking into the building after most of the people had left for the day. My thirty-minute afternoon appointment had turned into three additional hours of sitting in waiting areas for testing and then attempting to focus on all the information Dr. Charles had thrown at me.
Moderate Risk Geriatric Pregnancy , had been the thing that stood out to me the most. It could have been worse. Much worse, but so far, she seemed to think that the chances of carrying this baby to term and having minimal complications was good.
I’d had two different ultrasounds, and both showed an egg sac with a tiny speck in the center of it and nowhere in sight was my IUD. Apparently, spontaneous expulsion of the device happened in point zero five percent of women, and I was one of the lucky few.
All those months I stared at negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test. Having to go through two curettage procedures after my miscarriages to remove the tissue of the children who never made it to fruition and watch as my marriage crumbled. And all it had taken was a vanishing IUD and Adrian. Maybe that confirmed the universe had never wanted me to end up with Grant.
Riding the elevator up to my floor, I knew chances were good he was gone for the day, but I still needed to check. When the doors parted, Andrea sat in the reception area, studying papers spread across the surface of her desk while she chewed on the end of her pen.
“Oh shit,” she exclaimed as I walked closer. She’d clearly thought she had a quiet space to work with everyone gone for the day, but right now, I was relieved to see her smiling face. “I didn’t know you’d be returning today. Adrian said you had an appointment this afternoon, and I assumed, since you didn’t come back, you were out for the rest of the day.”
“Things didn’t go exactly as planned. I just stopped in to get my laptop and the things I need to take with me when we head to New York in the morning.”
“Want to take me too?” she joked, smiling widely.
“Well, not this trip, but maybe on one in the future. I saw your application for one of the copy-editing positions had made it through the initial screening.”
“Oh, uh, yeah…” She looked nervous, chewing on the side of her lip as she nodded. “Actually, I had a meeting with Sloane and Adrian today. He offered me the position in the mystery department.”
Well, fuck. Dickhead beat me to her.
“That’s great.” I tried to sound excited she’d been given the opportunity to advance, but none of the other candidates had really stood out for the position in my department. “I’m sure Adrian can show you the ropes. Despite his behavior sometimes, he’s very good at his job. ”
“I’ve interacted with him enough to know he’s not really that bad. A lot of the gossips in this office have a habit of taking something small and blowing it out of proportion.”
Well, they were likely to have a field day when I started showing. At this point, it wouldn’t be hard to guess who my baby daddy was.
“I’ll let you get back to your schoolwork. Congratulations again. I know how hard you work around here, and I think you’ll do great.”
Would have been nice if I had gotten to her first, but clearly the timing was not on my side for anything lately.
Once I got to my office, I scanned through the emails that’d come through in my absence, noting ones I’d need to address in the next few days, and adding reminders in my calendar about upcoming deadlines or check-ins with my authors. I’d missed this part of my job while I was on the road.
Adrian: How was your appointment? We good to go?
If he only knew that he’d already accomplished our goal. He’d been in do-not-disturb mode with his alerts off when I’d tried to text him earlier, clearly finalizing the details of his new intern. Until I had answers, I hadn’t wanted to freak him out while I was at the clinic, but now that I did, I wasn’t sure how to go about telling him.
I’d thought we’d have a few months until this happened. Was I supposed to come up with some elaborate pregnancy reveal? Or could I just blurt it out in the car in the morning? I wasn’t sure what the protocol was for something like this. Especially since the last time I’d been pregnant, it’d been over before it had really sunk in.
Adrian: I’ve got some leftover Chinese food from having dinner with Pops. Want me to stop by? Have you eaten yet?
My stomach turned as I thought about eating anything, and now I knew why I’d been so exhausted lately. It was still early, but I should have noticed the signs. I chalked everything up to stress and hadn’t been worried when my cycle was light a few weeks ago. It was never particularly heavy with the IUD in anyway, but I hadn’t suspected a thing.
Dr. Charles said it’d probably dislodged during my previous cycle, and the last time I remembered checking my strings was a few days before it’d started.
Isobel: Still need to wrap up at the office and head home to finish packing. I’m exhausted. Rain check?
Adrian: Want me to bring you a chocolate croissant in the morning?
Isobel: Do you really need me to answer that question?
Adrian: I might even bring you two, so you don’t try to steal mine again.
Isobel: Probably best, since I don’t think I’d have room for three of them, but I can’t make any promises yours will be safe in the end.
Adrian: I thought you liked having two at once.
I laughed, finally letting a little bit of my anxiety go because I knew he wasn’t talking about chocolate croissants. Before I could respond, he texted me again.
Adrian: Go home and get some sleep, babe.
Isobel: So bossy.
Adrian: Just want to make sure my girl is taking care of herself .
And even more of my nerves melted away. I could do this. I would figure it out. We would figure it out.
“Your apartment better have burned down and you’re standing in the street homeless, looking at the smoking ashes.”
Laughing, I slid my toiletry case in my bag, eyeing the emergency tampon tucked in the side. Guess I wouldn’t be needing that for a while.
“Good morning to you too, Leila.”
“Seriously, it’s six in the morning. I’m not caffeinated enough for this. But I know you wouldn’t call before ten if you didn’t need me. What’s up? Aren’t you leaving today?”
“Yeah…” I sighed.
“Oh no, I recognize that sigh. What did Dickhead do?”
“He didn’t do any… Well, he didn’t do anything intentionally.” Cause his super sperm had clearly done something.
“Just tell me. Did I not mention the part about being under-caffeinated?”
“I’m pregnant.”
Silence echoed through the speaker, and I was kind of shocked that Leila could be rendered speechless.
“Feel like I’m missing something here. Didn’t you just get your IUD removed yesterday?”
“They tried, but things didn’t go exactly as planned.”
“How can you try to take out an IUD? It’s either there or it’s not.” It was most decidedly not.
“That was the issue. It was not.”
“Not taken out or not there?”
She was starting to sound more frantic by the moment, and it was freaking me out a little. “They did an ultrasound and couldn’t find it. But they found something else inhabiting the space near where it used to be. ”
“You’re seriously pregnant?”
“Yes,” I laughed, relieved to tell someone. Adrian probably should have been the first one I told, but I needed my best friend right now. She’d been with me through all the shit with Grant, so she understood how hard this was for me.
A huge part of me was terrified that a few weeks from now I’d be sitting in a hospital heartbroken like I’d been too many times before.
“Holy shit. This is… This is, wow.”
“Really fucking scary.” My voice cracked as the tears appeared, one escaping down my cheek.
“Oh, honey. No, it’s amazing. I’m finally going to be an auntie. And you know your kid is going to be gorgeous. That baby daddy of yours might be a bit of a dick, but he’s not terrible to look at. If only he had a hot brother to sweep me off my feet.”
“Um,” I mumbled, not sure how to tell her he had an identical twin.
“You’ve been holding out on me,” she laughed. “Tell me all about Dickhead’s brother.”
“He’s not exactly your type.”
“Not intending to marry the guy. Everyone is my type if they’re hot enough.” She wasn’t wrong, her roster had some depth. With both men and women.
“You’re too bossy. He’s a bit too…dominant for you.” Which he was. She never took orders from anyone. Hutch would be too much for her. While she liked to have a good time, Leila wouldn’t survive a pleasure Dom, much less one who fucked other women in front of their partners.
“Okay, fine. Back to the original topic. How did Adrian take it? Is he impressed with himself? I’m sure he’s eating this up.”
“I…”
“You haven’t told him yet?” she exclaimed, and I knew she was about to unleash on me. “Why did you tell me first? You know he’s treated the idea of knocking you up like his new mission in life. Why haven’t you said something?”
“Because I’m scared. This wasn’t part of the plan. It was supposed to take months. Long enough for me to settle into this job and have fun trying. What if it happens again? I can’t go through that this time. It’d break me.”
She knew exactly what I was talking about. She’d been there through one of my miscarriages.
“Honey, no one can predict what will happen. But you can’t let that fear stop you. That man isn’t just interested in you for your ability to carry a child. You’ll figure it out together.”
Nodding, I tried to hold back the tears that wanted to escape. Adrian would be here to pick me up in less than a half hour and he’d know I’d been crying if I lost it right now.
“I need to finish packing. Thank you for answering the phone. I just needed to talk to you.”
“Never be afraid to call me, hun. While I’ve never been knocked up and am now going to be religiously checking my strings before I let any dicks near my holy grail, I’ll always be a sounding board for you when you need it.”
“Thank you.”
“And tell that man. I’m betting he’s going to fuck the shit out of you when he finds out.”
Zipping up my suitcase after I disconnected the call, I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down enough to get through today. Two back-to-back signings and the dinner awaited us today, and I didn’t want to draw the focus from Evan. Tonight was his grand proposal to Chase, and I knew Adrian would never keep his mouth shut if I told him before tonight.
“Hey, babe,” he greeted, kissing me on the cheek before opening the passenger door to his car .
The strong, sickly sweet smell of my usual coffee order hit me as soon as I put my hand on the doorframe to step in. My stomach rolled, and I knew I’d never be able to make it four hours in the car with that smell.
“Oh, shit. I left my folder with the itinerary for today on my desk. I’ll be right back.”
Not giving him a chance to respond, I grabbed the cup and escaped toward my building, holding back the bile creeping up my throat while I swiped my keycard.
I looked back, making sure Adrian wasn’t watching as I slipped around the corner next to the elevator and into the single stall bathroom, wrenching the lid from the cup in my hand. I turned on the water, pouring the coffee down the drain while I took shallow breaths through my mouth.
It didn’t work, and my chest heaved as I escaped into the stall, retching over the bowl, but nothing came out since I hadn’t eaten this morning.
Bracing my hands on the toilet seat, I tried to relax—closing my eyes and taking deep breaths. When I felt like my stomach wouldn’t revolt, I retreated to the sink, washed my hands, and rinsed out my mouth before I turned off the water.
Adrian was on his phone when I walked out the front door of my building, a frown pulling at his lips as he hung up while I walked in his direction.
“Was the folder not there?” Shit. I hadn’t even made it to my apartment.
“Must be in my bag.”
“Where’s your coffee?”
Shrugging, I brushed past him and lowered myself into my seat, thankful the coffee smell hadn’t lingered. “I was thirsty.”
“Yeah, you do like to guzzle the creamy stuff in the morning.” He laughed at his own joke, closing the door, and walking around to the driver’s side. “Your croissants are in the same place as last time.”
Their existence seemed like a bomb waiting to go off. Hesitantly reaching behind his seat, I pinched the top of the paper bag, pulling it across the console and setting it in my lap like it was going to explode if I wasn’t careful.
He pulled away from the curb and I carefully unfolded the top, hesitantly leaning forward to sniff the contents. Thankfully, my empty stomach growled, and I reached in to grab one, taking a bite and humming before I relaxed back into my seat.
“That sound is gonna get you into trouble,” he laughed, reaching over to place his free hand on my thigh.
Covering my mouth with my hand, I swallowed enough to talk. “Keep it in your pants. We’ve got a busy day.”
“I could always practice knocking you up in the back seat at the next rest stop.”
“While that sounds so romantic, gonna pass. We don’t have time.” And he wouldn’t need to practice until the next kid.
Fuck. This pregnancy was clearly messing with my head if I was thinking about having another baby with him while this one was still in the incubation process.
“Just wanted to make sure you knew I’d be willing to put in the effort for you.”
“Thanks,” I laughed, finally feeling the weight start to lift from my chest. “Nice to know how much you’re willing to sacrifice to get the job done.”
Now to gather the courage to tell him he’d already accomplished it.