HENDRIX
Chapter Four
Sorimah Styles had been etched into my brain since I took her down. I didn’t regret the moments we shared but the guilt was on a nigga’s shoulder heavy. Being a truthful guy had always been a trait of mine that people loved. Now, I was torn on what to do.
Also, leaving her the way I did was bothering me as well. Just as soon as she fell asleep, I was gone in the wind. I wasn’t trying to be that guy, but as a man that didn’t make those kinds of mistakes, that was the best choice.
I risked my family for a woman I knew nothing about and that wasn’t me. Ri was everything I expected her to be but when the alcohol wore off the moment settled, and I was faced with reality. Aviana and Akeera were the only people that mattered to me.
“You thinking about her again?” Dex inquired, pulling me out of my racing thoughts.
“Huh?”
“Nigga I been talking to you for the past five minutes and you ain’t said shit in return. It’s been over a month nigga. Let it go.”
“I’m trying but I think in order for me to move on, I have to let Avi know what I did. I don’t lie to her and since I turned her cards off, she’s been showing more affection and giving me more quality time. She’s going back to her old self.”
“Avi ain’t shit but a gold digger and you know it. She’s doing all that just so she can have access to the bread again and you stupid to believe anything other than that. Has she put in time with my niece? Cause to be honest, it’s really fuck you. I want to know if my niece been tended to.”
“She deals with her whenever I got her but as far as —”
“You so damn gullible. How long is it going to take for you to realize she ain’t the one and you only taking her bullshit because of my niece?”
“Stop cutting me off Dex.”
“Or what? Take all that aggression to that bitch!”
He wanted attention so I gave it to him. He was no longer seated comfortably. He was now dangling in the air up against the wall. One thing I didn’t play about was disrespect. He could say whatever he wanted but be mindful of what you say to me and about my woman.
“A’ight nigga. Get the fuck off me!”
He mushed me in order to be released and I thought nothing of it other than brothers hashing it out. Dex knew I wouldn’t ever do anything to deliberately hurt him and vice versa. However, Aviana was the mother to my daughter, and I didn’t need those problems.
“Now you want to show her respect but didn’t think twice about her when you ran up in that pretty muthafucka from the club. Yeah, you a crazy ass nigga for that.”
“Cut me some slack Dex ‘cause a nigga thought about his family the entire drive over to her spot. I wasn’t expecting to be locked in like that.”
“She had your attention from the minute you saw her. She’s the first chick I’ve ever seen you drool over and nigga I’ve known you since you were ten years old.
Even your woman never brought that out of you.
And let’s be real, you and Avi got together and stayed together because you wanted to fill that hole that Pri’s ass left. ”
Prielle was my first love and I thought I was dying when she moved away.
Aviana comforted me and helped me get over her.
In the process, we started dating and she revealed she had a kid a few weeks later.
From then on, it’s been us. I loved my woman, but I wasn’t sure if I was still in love with her.
“Why you can’t ever be happy for me Dex and try to support me?”
“I do. I was happy for y’all in the beginning but my dislike for her came about when my niece started getting neglected. You know how I am about kid’s man.”
Dex was one hell of a father. He made sure his twins were taken care of and he had custody. He didn’t play about them, and his baby mama gave him no hassle. It was like they switched roles and she had to pay him child support as well as have supervised visits. The drugs had a hold on her bad.
“Yeah, I know. If I tell her, then maybe I won’t be so conflicted.”
“Sorimah got your attention right now. I don’t know what it is about her but there’s no conflict when it comes to shorty. You made me run a background check on her and you haven’t been able to think straight since you met her. You not going to get over her the way you think you are.”
He got on my nerves often, but he spoke the truth just as much. Ri still had a nigga locked in and I didn’t know how to move around. I was fooling myself to think the connection we made could fade so easily.
“I will if I let Avi know and then fix whatever is wrong between us. We been disconnected for a minute now and I don’t like it.”
“Cause she ain’t the one nigga. I just said that.
You stuck on that family shit when in reality, she was just there for the bread.
She likes what you can do for her, but I bet money she doing her.
What woman you know ain’t got no job, so she got nothing but time on her hands, still manages to neglect their child and man?
Oh, and let’s not forget, she be gone all fuckin’ day long.
Nigga you better wake the fuck up because when shit hit the fan, it’s gone hurt your lil’ pride. ”
I didn’t miss the insinuation that Avi was cheating.
She never gave me those kinds of vibes and she wasn’t stupid.
Even if she was here for the money, she knew where home was.
I wouldn’t mess up being kept for nobody.
If Avi was doing her, it would come to the light, but I still had my dirt to confess to as well.
He was right about the long hours she pulled because she hadn’t worked three years out of the four we’d been together, so I was confused on what kept her out in the streets.
Shopping didn’t take six and seven hours, and in the mist of that, she never went to pick Akeera up from school.
Her sister did and dropped her off. Now that light was being shed on her moves, I was questioning what was really going on.
“I’m heading home soon. Is there something you need?” I asked, getting off my personal life and back to business.
He shook his head and said, “Nah. Do your thing bro. I’ll holla at you later.”
We dapped up and I was left to waddle in my thoughts. Coming clean was the only thing I saw myself doing. It was to keep all cards on the table between us, but it was also for me to stay true to myself. I never hid anything about me, and I wasn’t about to start.
A little over an hour passed by before I had enough and began to pack up and leave. I normally left work excited to see my family but because I had a lot on my mind, I barely had the energy. I was drained mentally.
Exiting the building, I hopped in my ride and headed to the crib. I dreaded revealing my wrong doings the entire way.Instead of taking Dex’s advice, I decided to listen to someone else’s. I hit a few buttons on the dashboard screen and waited for the call to be connected.
“Hello.”
“What’s up Granddad. How you feeling?”
“Hendrix is that you?”
“Yes sir. Is everything good?”
“Yeah. It’s good to hear your voice son. What’s been going on and how my grandbaby doing?”
“She straight. Getting big and growing up on me. You know how that goes. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”
“I got a little time for you. What’s on your heart?”
My grandfather was the kindest person I knew next to my grandmother. Her ways rubbed off on him a lot and he became easy-going. He wasn’t the kind of man to fuss or even raise his voice. I guess I got that from him and how gently they raised me.
“I cheated on my woman some weeks back and I’m torn on what to do. I want to tell her, but Dex thinks that’s a stupid idea.”
“It is, but us Mercer’s face things head on. How many times have you stepped out on Aviana?”
“That was the first time and we’ve been together for four years.”
“Son, I stepped out on your grandmother once as well and the guilt darn near killed me. She was such a sweet woman and did everything she was supposed to but as a young man I was tempted and took what was in front of me. After I came clean to Barbara, she made me kiss her behind for months. I did it too because I was wrong. Eventually, she got over it and forgave me as well as forgot about it. I never messed up with her again. She was the love of my life, and I would’ve died if that woman didn’t take me back. ”
So much for thinking he and my grams had a picture-perfect marriage. I guess you never knew what a person went through. To the public eye, my grandparents were made for each other but behind closed doors they fought their own trials to stay happy.
Him telling his wife about his mistake was what being a man was all about.
No one was perfect but admitting to your mistakes made you a better person all around.
However, there was one difference between his woman and mine.
His was a wife and mine… well, I didn’t see her as my wife right now.
A nigga was just content with the life he had.
“This woman that I cheated with, she’s been on my mind heavy Granddad. I never seen her before until that night and she’s the first woman to have me make such mistakes. What does that mean?”
He released a deep breath and said, “Son, what lengths have you gone to forget about this woman?”
“I tried putting in more time with my family, work, and friends, but she hasn’t faded. Her face and voice won’t leave my thoughts. We have no contact with each other, so I don’t understand why she won’t whither.”
“Let me ask you this, have you made love to Aviana since that slip?”
“Yes sir, and the only way I can get off is if I’m picturing the other woman.”
“Hendrix you may not believe me, but you’ve run into your wife.
The only thing wrong with that is you’re already committed to someone else.
I had an affair and never thought about that woman again.
I couldn’t tell you what that lady looks like to this day.
All I know is I was out with the fellas and things went too far.
You’ve got a decision to make, and I understand the turmoil because my grandbaby is involved. ”