SORIMAH #2
“Dad, is this true? Do you need our help?” I wanted him to say it out of his own mouth.
“What the hell do you think Sorimah? Joanna, hurry up so we can get the hell out of here.”
His tone was still one that creeped me out. He never wanted to acknowledge the success me and EJ had until he needed something.
“I don’t have it. I have a child that will be here soon, and I need money to take care of it, so my funds are tied up with that. My sister said it once, but I’ll say it again. I wish you the best of luck.” I threw my hand up signaling for the waiter to bring us the check.
“This the reason why I never cared for you two. You’re so damn selfish. We googled your net worth and how well you’re doing. We know you have the money so just give it to us. You see we’re about to lose everything!” he shouted as if we weren’t two feet away from him.
This was the man I knew. Whenever he didn’t get his way, he would result in screaming and hollering as if that would change the outcome. He was calling me and EJ selfish, but we were the product of his selfishness and my mother’s ignorance.
“And I’m getting ready to have a child. My money is accounted for or are you hard of hearing these days as well. I’m sorry that you’re going through that, but I suggest you pray and ask God to spare you.”
“Wait, Sorimah. You’re pregnant? Oh, my goodness. I’m so happy for you!” my mother squealed. She probably was happy but that didn’t change anything between us.
“You think we haven’t seen the interviews questioning you about how you became a millionaire overnight. Me and your mother will be out on our ass in a few weeks. For God’s sake act like you give a damn about us.” His voice was still elevated but that wasn’t what offended me.
“I don’t want to disrespect you or my mother, especially in this public setting.
Everything me and EJ have is because we got from underneath that loveless house that’s up for foreclosure.
You need the very two children you tried so hard to forget.
Look at God humbling you. Now, it’s been stated twice already that we don’t have the funds.
If you show up at my place of business or home, I will make your life hell.
Please continue to stay away and we’ll be fine.
I advise you to go to God since you know him so well. ”
I ended my response in time for the waiter to return with my card.
I wasn’t in the right mind space to deal with my parents.
They behaved in a way where loving their own children seemed to rob them of something.
I truly didn’t understand how they managed to make it through life like this.
I saw firsthand what not to do as a mother.
Daria didn’t miss a beat either. She was on my heels not caring for whatever my mother kept calling her name for with our food boxed up in tow. She had a bond with her mother and always wanted me to have the same with mine, but life didn’t work like that.
When we stepped outside of the restaurant, EJ was waiting by the curb. She was ready to go, and I didn’t blame her. I took the back seat and allowed Daria to take the front. I just wanted to go home and relax a bit under the man I loved.
“Have you talked to Dexter lately?” I inquired.
“I just got off the phone with him. He’s on the way down here,” she said pulling off.
“Has he mentioned Hendrix and how he’s doing?”
“He tries but I shut it down. I’m not the one that needs to hear it, you are.”
I sat quietly thinking about the times me and Hendrix shared, and they were some of the best moments in my life. The most content and peaceful moments so far. I missed him and how safe I felt with him. It was time to swallow my pride and woman up.
Pulling out my cell, I called his phone and listened to his line ring for what seemed like an eternity. The last conversation we had was quite disrespectful and I was warned to watch my tongue. I was in the moment and let my words fly without thinking and now I had to deal with the consequences.
Erykah got me back to my condo in ten minutes flat. I wasn’t even upset at her driving. I understood her frustration and anger because our parents were her biggest thorn.
“What’s wrong, Ri?” You could hear the concern in Daria’s voice.
“I’m alright. I just want to go in here and get some sleep. I’m tired,” I lied.
“Did you want us to come up for a minute?” EJ followed with a question of her own.
“No. I’ll be fine. I’ll make sure to call when I wake up though.” I stepped out of the car and headed inside going straight for the elevators.
My mind wouldn’t settle down to save my life.
His voice and laughter when we would lay in bed enjoying one another was on a loop.
I was comfortable with him in a way I’d never been with anyone else.
He changed so much for me relationship wise that all I wanted was his reassurance in one.
That I deserved to be loved the way he loved me.
Stepping off, I turned the corner and walked down the hall to my door. I inserted my key and walked inside only to stop mid action.
Him.
He was the only one with access to me that carried such a strong and manly scent.
My heart skipped a few beats, and I suddenly became nervous.
The key I gave him was never retrieved so he could still come and go however he pleased.
Being delusional could be a result from missing him so much, but I was praying I wasn’t.
Dropping my food, phone and purse off in the kitchen, I slowly made my way to my bedroom. With each step I took, his cologne was more dominant. It lingered letting you know that he was in proximity. I was eager to lay eyes on him again but full of caution as well.
Taking deep breaths, I pushed open my door and saw a trail of his clothes that led from the bed to the bathroom. He was in the shower which meant he was staying for a while. He knew how I felt about outside clothes in my bed and that made my heart smile.
I began to undress and leave the same trail of clothing alongside his. When I walked into the bathroom, it was steamy to where you could barely make out your surroundings. Because this was my space, I knew exactly how to maneuver through it.
Sliding the shower door back, I stepped inside and wrapped my arms around his waist. At that moment, the disconnection I thought would be there was nonexistent. The distance that was created had been decimated and we were back like we never left.
“I missed you Hendrix.”
“I know.”
“You know?”
“I’m here because I couldn’t take it anymore. If I was missing you like that, I know you were missing me the same if not more. I learned some things about you Ri, including how clingy you are. You don’t always voice how you feel but it’s felt.”
He was right about that. It made me feel like I held a spot in his life because of how attentive he was with me. I wasn’t the friendliest, but I was the most caring and loving person to those that meant something to me. He was at the top of that list with family.
I took the opportunity to apologize for how I acted. He never yelled at me, and he never used words that made me question him. He was clean and cutthroat. I should’ve respected him more.
“I’m sorry for talking to you like that.
I allowed my feelings and anger to spiral, and it resulted in me coming at you crazy.
I wasn’t trying to hide anything from you, but I knew what was at stake as well.
Of course, I wanted you around our child, but Akeera would be left with no one, so I decided to step back and allow her to have that one person in her life that was willing to lay down their life in peace.
You think I was being selfish by keeping this pregnancy away from you, but I was protecting her. ”
“I get it, which is why I’m here. I took some time to try and get right because she did take my baby away from me and I haven’t bounced back yet. I knew to make any progress on getting back I had to come where I’m comfortable and loved. I need this more than you think.”
Moving from behind him to in front, I looked up into his chocolate eyes and admired him for a brief second.
Hendrix knew my love for him was real and the fact that he wanted to come here to feel it spoke volumes.
He was a standoffish type of guy and didn’t really allow people into his space, but I loved how he invited me into it.
“Is there anything I can do that will help ease your mind?” I asked concerned about his mental.
“Yeah, tell me everything I need to know about this one.” He placed his hand on my protruding belly while staring into my eyes.
“So far, I’m five months and will be going for the gender appointment next Wednesday.
The weight of it is on track and I don’t really have morning sickness like that anymore.
EJ and Daria have been going crazy with the baby gifts if you couldn’t tell.
Right now, this one is fine,” I responded confidently.
“Cool. Let’s finish up and hit the sheets. A nigga ain’t slept in days from all of this disfunction in my life.”
“Okay. We’ll finish catching up when we wake up.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
I was jumping for joy on the inside. I had my man back and I could finally stop crying about everything.
When he was around, my world rotated on a smoother axel.
He was the one that gave me the green light to be me at all times.
He approved of my bratty ways, and I refused to give that up now that I had it again.
**
I was woken by the attention to my sensitive pearl.
His tongue was tied doing tricks that I still had a hard time getting used to.
He knew how to work his mouth in a way that caused an addiction.
I was brought out of a peaceful sleep to a pleasurable experience that made my decision to have him worth it.