Chapter 34
My fingers were clasped so tightly together I’d lost circulation. Sweat pooled in my bra and under the band of my ball cap as the sun beat down relentlessly. I couldn’t imagine how hot these little athletes in front of us must be.
My eyes followed the little green ball as it bounced and flew from one side of the court to the other.
It was the final match of the seven- and eight-year-old girls final tennis tournament, and Luna and Clara were playing her old tennis partner, Rachel, and the girl who Rachel asked to play doubles with over Luna, whose name I could never remember.
It was the final set, and if Rachel and her teammate won the next point, then they would win the match.
Rachel served. The ball sailed over the net, bounced, and Clara returned it.
Rachel’s partner hit it back after a bounce, sending it in Clara’s direction, to her nondominant side.
I nearly covered my eyes with my hands. I said a silent prayer that those extra sessions with Jeremiah paid off.
Clara cracked a perfect backhand, and I heard Jeremiah hiss, “Yes,” under his breath from beside me.
I smirked briefly before the prickling anticipation resumed in my fingertips.
I’d been so impressed all game, all day. These girls were eight years old and already so skilled—fast, accurate, agile. The instructors, some barely teenagers themselves, should be so proud.
Please let them miss it. But no, Rachel returned it again, lobbing it in Luna’s direction.
Oh no! It was high; it was going to go right over her head.
And Clara was on the other side of the court.
I sucked in a breath as Luna’s arm shot up.
She spiked it down, hard and fast, right over the net.
Yes! I started to lift out of my seat. No way they can return that, it’s too fast!
Rachel and her partner and everyone in the bleachers watched the ball with rapt attention as it zoomed toward the back corner of the court.
And landed just outside the baseline.
No! My stomach dropped.
My gaze whipped to Luna. Racket hanging by her side, head drooped, her little lip trembled.
Shit. I couldn’t cry at a children’s tennis match, but boy did I want to. Luna worked so hard. She must be so disappointed. I looked at Luke. He was looking at his daughter, lips a thin line, expression inscrutable.
I turned my attention back to Luna as she lifted her head and walked to the net, shaking both Rachel’s and her partner’s hand, then embracing Clara.
“Alright, let’s go get her,” Luke sighed. He gave my thigh a quick squeeze before he stood up.
Luke, Jeremiah, Francesca, Clara’s mom, and I all approached the girls and helped them gather their things. Jeremiah told them how impressed he was and that he’d be honored to play more tennis with them next summer.
“You did amazing, Luna,” Luke said, clapping her on the shoulder.
“Thanks,” she said, sounding utterly defeated. She hugged Clara goodbye. The areas surrounding the court started to clear out and the three of us walked toward Luke’s car.
“Luke!” A man a little older than us jogged over from one of the other courts where a boys’ match was still underway.
“Hey, Jack. How’s it going?”
“Oh, good. Just watching Charlie’s final match. You up for a round of golf tomorrow? Tee time is at eleven. I have an extra spot.”
“Let me shoot you a text in an hour? I’ll check my schedule.”
“Sounds good.” Jack noticed me standing next to Luke and Luna. She was bouncing on her toes.
“Jack, you know my daughter, Luna. And this is Val, she’s…been helping me with Luna this summer.”
That introduction sliced through me like a paper cut. I schooled the hurt off my face and reached out to shake Jack’s hand. “Nice to meet you,” I said. Thank goodness for sunglasses.
“You too. Hey, I better catch the end of this match. I’ll look out for your text.” He turned and jogged away.
We continued toward the main building that stood between the courts and the parking lot.
“I’m sorry,” Luke said as soon as Luna was a few paces in front of us. He brushed the back of his fingers against mine.
“It’s fine. It’s true.” I forced a smile.
The truth was, I was hurt but I wasn’t actually mad at Luke. I didn’t know how I would have answered that question. He’d been amazing since our date—texting me good morning and good night every day, sneaking kisses and hand squeezes and other affectionate gestures whenever we had a moment alone.
We hadn’t told Luna yet, and it was clear to me he didn’t want her to see anything that confused her before we did. We just hadn’t talked about it. Maybe we needed to. I had no doubt we had feelings for each other. But what were we?
Luna climbed into the backseat of her dad’s truck. Luke and I both turned to look at her once we got in, A/C blasting through the vents. Luna looked out the window, eyes wide and shining. I felt her disappointment in my own body, like I was the one who lost something I’d been working toward.
“You did so great, Luns,” Luke said.
“Thanks. Can we just go home please?” she said quietly.
Luke pulled out of the parking lot.
“Want to get an ice cream from Dairy Queen?” I asked Luna, looking for her in the rearview mirror. Luke caught my eye and nodded.
“No, that’s okay.” Her tone was so morose. Maybe we need to let her mope…
But she was eight. And it was so hot. There was no way a sugary frozen treat wouldn’t help, at least a little.
“Do you mind if we make a quick stop there on the way anyway? I really want one.”
“Sure,” she huffed.
Luke’s mouth quirked up. He knew my ploy.
When we pulled into the parking lot, I turned around in the front seat. “Sure you don’t want a small chocolate peanut butter cup Blizzard? Since we’re already here?”
She looked out the window at the little white house-turned-ice cream shop. Reconsideration glimmered in her big brown eyes. Got her.
“Okay,” she said. Luke told me what he wanted (a medium strawberry shortcake Blizzard), and I headed inside. They were talking when I got back with the ice creams.
“Luna, I’m so proud of you. You worked so hard and played so well. I know you wanted to win, and it’s so disappointing you didn’t, but I’m proud of you anyway.”
She nodded noncommittally.
“Whether you win or not,” he went on, “I’m proud of you and I love you. Nothing will ever change that. I don’t care if you lose every other tennis game or sailing competition, I love you and I’m proud of you. No matter what.”
Oh my gosh. His speech was so sweet. He was going to make me cry. The words were familiar. “She’d always pull me aside, tell me she was proud of me, that I was doing my best, that I was human, that she loved me no matter what.”
“I know,” she said softly between bites of chocolate ice cream. I’d stopped eating mine. It was too hard to swallow over the lump in my throat.
“Can you say it for me?”
“You love me and you’re proud of me,” she mimicked.
“No matter what.”
“No matter what.”
I had to look away, out my own window, emotion seizing me. This wasn’t the first time they’d had this talk. It wouldn’t be the last time, either.
I took a deep breath and turned to face them again. I looked at Luke, tacitly asking if I could say something, too. She wasn’t my kid, so it wasn’t necessarily my place. He nodded his encouragement.
I turned around in my seat. “You two looked amazing out there, Luna. I was so impressed. You worked hard all summer, did your best, and had fun doing something you love—that’s what really matters.
And you were so poised. It’s not easy to shake the hand of your opponent after you just lost, but you did it. I’m so proud of you.”
Luke smiled at me privately, reassuring me. Is this what it would be like? The two of us working together to build Luna up?
“Thanks, Val,” she murmured before asking, “What’s ‘poised’?”
A chuckle escaped me. “It means being kind and treating others with respect even when we’re upset.”
She nodded.
“How is it?” I asked, gesturing to her ice cream cup. “They put in enough peanut butter cups?”
“Yeah, lots this time.” A little grin appeared on her lips.
I didn’t miss the smirk and slight shake of Luke’s head.
Luna and I had snuck to Dairy Queen for a pre-dinner ice cream here and there this summer, never mentioning it to Luke.
Guess our jig was up. Luna didn’t seem to realize she’d revealed our secret as she scooped big bites into her mouth.
We ordered the same thing every time, including today.
I’d given her the one that looked like it had more candy pieces in it.
When we got back to Luke’s house, Luna dragged herself up the stairs for a shower.
It was still early—sailing was canceled today because so many of the sailors had their tennis competitions.
I followed Luke into the kitchen and discarded the ice cream cups.
We washed our hands in silence, dancing around each other.
As soon as we heard the shower turn on upstairs, Luke said, “I’m sorry, Val.”
I finished drying my hands and turned to face him. “It’s okay, I promise. I wouldn’t have known what to say either.”
“I know, and I believe you. But you were hurt and I’m sorry anyway. I never want to hurt you.”
“How could you tell I was hurt?”
“I don’t know.” His brown eyes were so soft and emphatic as he scrutinized me from across the kitchen island. “I can just tell.”
I nodded. I supposed it wasn’t a bad thing that he could read me so well.
“Can you come here?” he pleaded.
I rounded the counter and stepped into his arms. He wrapped me up, kissing the top of my head. I let myself sink into him, breathe in his piney scent mixed with a hint of sweat and sunscreen after today. It unlocked something in my chest, and I shuddered.
“We haven’t told Luna,” I said into his shirt, voicing my unfiltered thoughts.
“I know.” He pulled back to look at my face. “What’s going on in the beautiful brain of yours that’s got you emotional?” His thumb traced a soothing stroke on my cheek.