23. Miles #2
I slow my pace and sit us down on the bench in the shower, wanting her to do her own thing to me. She grabs me by the chin and kisses me deeply as she grinds on top of me, causing a deep, guttural groan to escape me between our lips.
“Fuck baby, you feel so good. I love it when you grind on me like that. You’re doing so fucking good, Princess.” I praise, never wanting her to stop.
She’s moaning so loud in my ear and I can feel her tightening around me, letting me know she’s about to come. I grip her ass with both hands and help her grind her body against me.
“Oh, oh my god, yes!” she screams as her body begins to convulse on top of me.
Her pussy grips so tight around my cock, it takes everything in me not to bust inside of her. I can feel the sensation building and I pick her up just in time. I begin stroking myself and she kneels in front of me as ropes of cum shoot out all over her chest.
“Oh fuck, god you’re so fucking hot with my cum all over you.”
She smiles up at me and it’s like watching an angel with devil horns holding up her halo. She’s so fucking perfect. Perfect for me. There’s no doubt in my mind anymore.
I’m in love with her.
“You okay?” she asks, concerned, and I realize I’ve spaced out, cock still in hand.
I blink away the haze of her in my thoughts and focus on her in front of me.
I give her a devious grin and stick out my hand for her to grab.
She smiles back at me and takes my hand, letting me pick her up off the floor of the shower.
Her knees are stained with crimson, but it’s quickly washed away the second she stands under the spray of the shower.
I pull her towards me, kissing her deeply, never wanting this moment to end.
I want this kiss to last a lifetime. I want this to be the way I die, kissing her and loving her and being in her presence.
I never want to be apart from her. She’s the missing piece I never knew existed until she walked into my life.
Now I can’t imagine breathing without her.
I break our kiss to cradle her face in my hands, staring straight into those striking amber eyes I love so much. I take a deep breath before finally saying the words I’ve been swallowing for far too long.
“I love you, Madelyn.” She inhales deeply and I know that I’ve shocked her, but I keep going as I watch her eyes slowly fill with unshed tears.
“I love you and I’m not going to stop loving you.
I know this whole situation scares you and you’re worried about what could happen to me, but there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.
I want you to be safe. I need you to be safe, because I love you so fucking much Maddie, and I need you to continue to be around.
I can’t fathom my life without you in it. ”
The tears in her eyes are flowing freely now, and she starts laughing, like seriously laughing. Does she not feel the same way about me as I do about her? Is all of this too fast for her? I’m about to say something else when she finally says something.
“I love you too, Miles. God, I love you so much. I just never expected for us to confess our undying love to each other for the first time while we’re standing naked in the shower after you just came all over my chest.”
She giggles and I break out into laughter. This is why I love her. She finds humor in everything despite all the fucked up shit she’s going through. I’ve never met anyone who has had the capability that she has. She never ceases to amaze me.
I turn off the spray of the shower and grab her hand, finally feeling relaxed and ready to take on anything.
“C’mon Princess, let’s get you all dried up.”
Maddie and I stayed in bed for the rest of the day.
We did nothing but cuddle and watched a sitcom late into the night.
I watched her as she laughed when one character walked into his friend's apartment wearing all of his roommates’ clothes, and then again as she sat up when the main couple went on a break.
I just love watching her when she doesn’t realize I’m looking.
Those quiet, unguarded moments make me fall even harder.
I woke up before her this morning and decided to train for a little while before she gets up.
I got out of shape after my parents died.
I was too depressed to do anything other than drink, party and pop pills, but now my focus is on her.
It was easy for me to stop all of that after she came into my life.
When she left me, I fell back into my bad habits.
It was easier to numb the pain than to feel it. Now I don’t know how to stop.
I walk back into the bedroom and notice that Maddie is still asleep. My girl’s a heavy sleeper. I pull my phone out of the pocket of my gym shorts and shoot Chase a quick message before I hop into the shower.
Me: Hey man, you feel like delivering?
Chase: Not really. It’s gonna cost you.
Me: I’ll pay you double. Come to the house.
Chase: I’ll be there in 20.
I smile down at my phone. I knew offering him more would get him here, fucking tight ass.
I put my phone back in my pocket and look up at Maddie’s sleeping form. She looks so peaceful and comfortable, like she finally feels safe and isn’t having any more nightmares. She’d be upset if she knew about the pills. I have to stop before she finds out.
When she left, it felt like I had no choice but to numb the pain.
Every hour without her felt like someone had reached into my chest and ripped something vital out, leaving me to stumble around with an empty cavity where my heart was supposed to be.
The pills didn’t fix it, and it sure as hell didn’t make me miss her any less.
It just blurred the sharp edges enough that I could get through the day without feeling like I was suffocating under the weight of losing her.
Back then, I convinced myself it was temporary.
Just something to get me through until I figured out how to get her back.
Now she’s here again, sleeping in my bed, laughing in my kitchen, looking at me with those fucking copper eyes, and I don’t want it anymore.
I don’t crave the high, I crave her. The problem is, my body doesn’t give a shit what my heart wants.
I've spent too many weeks feeding it one pill after the other, teaching it to expect the rush. Now it expects it whether I want it or not. If I go too long without it, my hands start to tremble and my skin turns clammy. My thoughts race so fast they crash into one another until I can’t think straight.
My muscles ache, my head pounds, and every nerve in my body screams for another hit.
I don’t use nearly as much as I did when she was gone.
A few pills every couple hours is enough to keep the worst of it at bay.
Enough to stop the shaking and to keep anyone from noticing.
It's not because I want to get high anymore.
It's because my own body has decided it can’t function without it.
And that realization scares the absolute fuck out of me.
I scrub a hand down my face and let out a slow breath. None of that matters right now, I can hate myself for it later. Right now, I have something far more important to focus on.
Maddie.
Every second I spend dwelling on my own bullshit is another second that psychopath has to make his next move. And I refuse to let that happen.
I push off the doorframe and head for the bathroom, twisting the shower on as hot as it will go.
Steam quickly fills the room, fogging the mirror while I strip out of my clothes.
The pounding spray beats against my shoulders as I step beneath it, washing away the sweat from my workout, but doing fuck all to rinse the tension from my body.
I make quick work of washing up, barely spending five minutes under the spray before shutting the water off.
We have more planning to do today and I want to get ahead of this shit.
This guy wants her, and men like him don’t just give up because they’re inconvenienced.
If he knows we’re here, then he knows we’ve built a team around her.
Which means he's already planning his next move, and I need to be ready before he makes it.