Chapter 14 Angeni Luna
Angeni Luna
What a privilege to have a sleepless night, not because of woes or worries, but because of a sweet baby’s need for love.
Angeni sat on a stool in her master bathroom, watching the comments on her latest post accumulate while Aurora stood behind her, styling her hair in preparation for Angeni’s appearance on the Wellest podcast. News of her book deal was spreading, and people in the healing community wanted to talk to her.
She figured it was good to start publicity sooner rather than later.
Most of the time, she preferred her appearances to be audio only, but the people at Wellest had requested to have her on camera to boost engagement.
“God, your hair is gorgeous,” Aurora said.
So many women lamented hair loss in the postpartum period, but it seemed like Angeni’s hair was getting thicker and lusher by the day.
She had to believe it was something to do with her diet, with the way she nourished her body with hearty organ meats and organic produce from The Land. And also, her own placenta.
She’d had her placenta steamed, dehydrated, ground into a fine powder, and placed into pill capsules by a Native woman on the island who specialized in this.
She’d been taking the pills daily since Freya was born and had enough left for a few more months.
It was supposed to help with general rejuvenation of mind, body, and spirit, and Angeni was a wholehearted believer.
She made a mental note to discuss this practice more often on the Mother Nurture account and in her book.
“You want me to do your makeup too?” Aurora asked.
Aurora looked excited by the prospect, like they were little girls again, having a sleepover.
“I’ve got it,” Angeni said, taking out the pouch of products she rarely used.
She preferred to be barefaced, to keep any unnecessary contaminants away from her skin.
All the makeup she owned was organic, of course, but still, the skin was so delicate, so porous.
She didn’t understand how people were so flippant about how they treated the largest organ in their body.
She set her phone on the counter in front of her and patted her face with powder, still watching comments come in.
Most of the comments were just heart emojis of different varieties and colors, with a few comments like these:
Needed this. We had just a rough night last night over here and this helps me remember how lucky I am
Thank you for always keeping things in perspective for us tired mamas. We love you
It is a privilege. All of it. How often we forget this
“So is today’s podcast mostly about the book?” Aurora asked with her usual zeal.
“Yes, I think so,” Angeni said.
Angeni felt a couple of strands of hair break as Aurora yanked them into the submission of the French braids she was creating on either side of Angeni’s head.
“So exciting,” Aurora said. “I don’t know if I say it enough, Ang, but I’m so proud of you. I always knew you would be something.”
“Aww, thank you.”
The previous day, Angeni had had a call with her book editor, Trish, about her “vision” for the book.
Angeni had shared various topics she planned to incorporate and tried to hide the doubts she was starting to have about her ability to put together an entire book.
She was confident in her skills as a short-form writer—Instagram posts, for example.
She knew she was great at hosting webinars and creating workbooks full of prompts to shepherd people through their own inner landscapes.
But writing a book was something else entirely.
It required big-picture thinking and organization that Angeni hadn’t tapped into before.
But she was trying to give herself grace.
She’d only just begun. She would find her rhythm. She had to trust Spirit to guide her.
What made her especially nervous was her editor’s suggestion that the book include more personal content: “I want to make sure the book includes a great deal about You—your upbringing, your life, the story behind Angeni Luna. Everything else is content people can find on your social media already. It’s great that it will be gathered in a central location for the book, but I want to offer something more too. I want you to go deeper.”
To this, Angeni had said, “Yes, of course,” but the truth was that she was hesitant to go deeper, to share more of her past. It was a past that few knew.
Aurora knew more than anyone because she had been there.
Erik knew what Angeni had recounted to him, which wasn’t everything.
Matt and Jer knew bits and pieces. She would have to figure out how to share enough to seem vulnerable and real while concealing the problematic details.
Aurora slid a couple of bobby pins into Angeni’s hair while Angeni used her finger to spread gloss across her lips. Erik appeared in the doorway and rapped his knuckles on the doorframe. His eyes grew large at the sight of Angeni.
“Wow. You look gorgeous, babe,” he said.
“Doesn’t she?” Aurora gushed.
“Ror, can you ask Jer to make sure the recording equipment is ready?” Angeni asked.
Once Aurora left, Erik came up behind Angeni, one hand on each side of her neck, his fingers massaging into muscles she didn’t even realize were tense.
“You okay?” he asked.
He knew her so well.
“Just feeling a little anxious,” she said.
“About the podcast?”
He bent down enough to give her a kiss on the cheek, then continued rubbing her shoulders.
“The podcast. The book. Us.”
Just the night before, they’d had another discussion about her disinterest in sex.
He had suggested that maybe they just needed to go through the motions of it to start, that maybe she would enjoy it once they got going.
She had felt that as pressure, and told him so, and he had said, “Maybe it is pressure. I miss you, Ang.” And yet she still couldn’t give him her body.
She felt stubbornly possessive of it, her heels dug in.
“Babe, I think you’re doing that thing where you’re nervous about one thing—probably this podcast—and then you decide to contemplate every other thing in your life.”
She smiled. She was doing that thing.
Angeni stood, wrapped her arms around his middle. He craned his neck down to kiss the top of her head.
“Thank you,” she said.
Aurora called for them from the living room: “Five minutes till showtime!”
“Come on,” Erik said, putting his hands around Angeni’s waist, lifting her off the ground and into his arms. “Let’s do this thing.”
When the Wellest team had contacted Angeni, she’d asked them if they wanted just her on the episode, or if they wanted her and Erik.
They said they’d love to have the two of them, which was just fine with Angeni.
He was a calming influence for her. If she got nervous or tongue tied, he stepped in.
He kept things light. He was good at making jokes at appropriate times, changing subjects when necessary, all to protect her.
The hosts were Michael Hsu and Adriene Aguilera, thirtysomethings who had built a respectable fan base in a relatively short period of time—more than a half million subscribers.
Angeni couldn’t say no to these types of opportunities.
These were the opportunities that would amplify her voice and expand her reach beyond what she could do on her own.
Aurora had set up a special circular light in front of Angeni and Erik, making them look bright faced despite the gray day outside their windows. Jer and Matt were manning the audiovisual equipment.
“You might not even need these, but let’s attach in case,” Matt said, affixing tiny mics to the collars of Erik’s shirt and Angeni’s blouse.
“You guys look great,” Aurora said.
Jer positioned the screen, and Michael and Adriene appeared, sitting side by side at a desk, like news anchors. They were wearing matching smiles, bright-white teeth gleaming.
“Oh my god, Angeni Luna, hi!” Adriene said with a level of enthusiasm that overwhelmed Angeni.
“And Erik!” Michael said with an equal amount of enthusiasm.
Angeni and Erik were sitting on the living room couch. Erik took her hand, squeezed it. He could probably feel the energy humming through her body.
“We’re just going to start the recording on our end if that’s cool?” Adriene said.
“Sounds great,” Erik said while Angeni cleared her throat.
“Okay, all set,” Adriene said. “Hi, everyone! We’re here today with two very special guests that we’ve been wanting to get on an episode for months.”
“Years, actually,” Michael said, and they all laughed.
“Angeni Luna is the creator of the Conscious Couples Instagram account, as well as the Mother Nurture Instagram account, which each have a following of more than two million people. Just incredible,” Adriene said.
“Her husband, Erik, is her partner in crime, and they recently welcomed a little girl to the world—”
“She is the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen,” Michael interjected.
“Legit the most beautiful,” Adriene said. “And Angeni, for our followers who don’t already know, why don’t you share your recent news?”
“The recent news is that I’m writing a book,” Angeni said.
Adriene did a little squeal, and Michael clapped his hands twice.
“As you can tell, we are a little excited about this,” Adriene said. “Can you tell us about the book?”
Angeni felt heat rising in her chest. She shifted on the couch, and Erik moved his hand from her hand to her thigh. He was attempting to ground her.
“Well, it’s just taking shape as I get into a rhythm with the writing,” Angeni said. “But what’s close to my heart is helping other women become the mothers they want to be, helping them establish a deep and rich connection with their children, starting in pregnancy.”
“So beautiful,” Adriene said.
“We’re hoping you also continue to share the magic of the relationship you two have, especially as new parents,” Michael said.