Chapter Fifteen
“What happened to you that night?” Bex threw her arms around me. “One minute you were here, the next, gone.”
Bex was referring to the night I’d suddenly left her bar, when Brandon had been waiting outside.The fateful night when Moth had come back into my life.
I didn't speak to her outside of her work, but occasionally, when I was really lonely, I'd head to the bar and hang out, chatting shit while she served drinks.
Tonight was one of those nights.
It had been over twenty-four hours since Moth had dropped me home, and I hadn't heard anything since, even when I'd messaged him. I had no proper going out friends, but I’d needed to just get out of the house. Sitting in the bath, admiring my sex bruises, could only keep me entertained for so long.
“I'm sorry,” I said, accepting the glass of wine she offered, “my stalker ex turned up that night, so I had to disappear.”
Her pretty mouth dropped open and she leaned on the bar, coming closer. “Oh shit. I didn't know you had a stalker ex. You said he was a little freaky, but actual stalk stalker?”
Taking a huge glug of wine, I hummed. “Yeah. He's a fucking psycho. I don't know why I didn't tell you that before. Anyway, I've met another guy and I think it'll put an end to the stalking.”
“Oh…” Her mascaraed eyes lit up. “…tell me more!”
A man called for her attention, so she went to serve him. I checked my phone, for the thousandth time. Shit, I had major attachment disorder. I'd fucked my enemy a few times, and I was craving his attention already? I needed to get my head straight.
“Go on.” Bex returned and I smiled, despite my low mood.
“Well, where do I start?” Drinking again, I paused for the drama. “That very same night I disappeared from here, I bumped into an old crush of mine.”
“I do love a second chance romance.” She leaned forward again, crushing her tits together and creating a huge cleavage. I tried not to stare, envious of their bulbous prettiness.
Shaking my head, I breathed. “I don't know about second chance romance; he kinda wanted me dead.”
Er, maybe it hadn’t been a good idea to drink three vodkas in the car before coming inside. Apparently, my off switch was glitching. It was nice to let it all out… but I had to be a little careful. It was probably her job to report people for being too drunk or mentally unstable.
“This is sounding more and more like one of those romance books you read.” She handed a waitress two beer bottles without even blinking. “Did you fuck?”
I opened my mouth to deny her first assumption, however, I couldn't bare-face fucking lie. “Yes,” I admitted. “It's a whole enemies to lovers vibe, except he's turned me on since the moment he rescued me from my stalker-ex. So, does that actually constitute as true enemies?”
Putting a hand on her chest, she pouted. “Hmmm. He sounds like the perfect hero. Except, the wanting to kill you part. I assume you worked through that considering you had sex.”
A man who sat nearer the other end of the bar chuckled. We both looked at him, glaring when he lifted both hands in surrender.
“I'm enjoying your story,” he said, amusement pulling at his features. “Please don't make me go back to the in-laws.”
He looked over his shoulder to where an older couple and a beautiful woman were choosing karaoke songs. Ah, he was a man in need of rescue.
“Well,” I said, my head now swimming, “let me just tell you, a man in leathers on a motorbike will most likely turn on any woman. I'm just saying. It's hard for us to resist.”
“The bad boy,” our new male friend chimed in. “I always struggled against those bastards.”
The bartender gasped and handed him another beer. “I don't believe you, your wife is gorgeous. You’re not trying to feed us the nice guys don't win tripe, are you?”
He shook his head. “No, I'm not just a nice guy. I'm a geek.”
We all laughed and he glanced lovingly at his wife, who waved as she climbed the stage. The love that radiated from the pair of them was chest-tightening. I was too fucked up to experience something like that.
“Anyway,” the man turned back to us, “tell us how you went from hating this guy to fucking him. If you don't mind me being so crass.”
Drinking again, I frowned when the last sip of wine disappeared into my mouth. Oh, that went quicker than I'd planned. Oops.
Another glass appeared in front of me and I smiled my thanks to Bex, who was waiting patiently for me to go on.
“Firstly,” I said to the guy, “Geeks are having a moment and clearly, you're riding on it.” I waved at his wife, who sang beautifully on the small stage. “Secondly, I didn't know who my rescuer was at first because of his helmet. He was all mysterious dark stranger, just standing on a bridge.”
“Fuck me, woman,” Bex said, her eyes wide, “I think you're being a little too influenced by those books of yours. He sounds stalkerish too.”
Waving a hand, I laughed. “No, I actually rescued him first. Wait, I did. I always forget that. It turns out, after a couple of times of him rescuing me, he reveals himself to be an old crush turned enemy.”
“Sounds complicated.” Our new male friend watched me intently. “What happened next?”
Frowning, I leaned my head against the cool bar. “It is complicated. Shit, I’m drunker than I realised.”
Lifting my swirling head, I thanked Bex, again, when she stepped to the coffee machine and fired it up.
“You're right, though.” I put a hand on theman's arm, quickly withdrawing it when he looked at his wife. “Bad boys are like a fucking drug. And you always get burnt. At least we'll sort my stalker ex out before he fucks off.”
“Alia?”
Oh! It was Moth, standing right beside me. “Moth! I was just telling… Fuck, Moth.”
Scrambling from the barstool, I lost my footing and fell forward. Moth grabbed my waist and hauled me up, but pain shot through my face where I'd already collided with the wooden bar.
“Fuck,” I exclaimed, holding my mouth.
“For fuck's sake.” Moth's deep voice penetrated my head. “Are you hurt?”
There was a small commotion and I blinked, looking at Bex, whose arm was reaching across the bar, offering me a cloth. I stared at it blankly.
“She's bleeding.” Moth glared at the others. “How wasted is she?”
“I'm not too bad,” I spoke up, wincing when my teeth grazed my cut lip. “Just a bit light-headed.”
“And loose-lipped.” Moth’s growl sent the hairs on the back of my neck on edge.
Bex came around the bar, but Moth held the cloth against my lip, not letting her get close.
“Are you the stalker ex?” She put her hands on her hips. “Because if you are, I'm calling the cops.”
Rolling his eyes, Moth looked at me. I quickly took the cloth from him and turned to Bex.
“No, no,” I said, drawing closer to her, “this is the biker in shining armour. He's staying for a drink, aren't you?”
He looked at Bex and nodded slowly, his expression just as brooding as ever. I patted the chair next to me, smiling when he sat awkwardly. Bex returned behind the bar and went to serve a customer who waved her down.
“What are you doing here?” I asked Moth, who glared at the man so hard, he got up and went back to his wife.
Smacking Moth's arm, I frowned at him. “Hey! I was just saying you were a bad boy, don't prove me right!”
He scowled and waved at Bex, indicating that he wanted a drink. My friend came back to us and returned his scowl.
“What do you want to drink?” Smacking the bar, she tilted her head to the side. “A smile will get you two drinks.”
He narrowed his gaze on her. “I don't want two drinks. Just a beer please.”
She looked at me and laughed before going to the fridge to get his bottle. I studied Moth's profile as he watched her. His nose was strong and straight, his jaw square and covered with a smattering of dark stubble.
“What do you want?” He turned to me, his scowl still firmly in place.
I opened my mouth to reply, but I didn't know. What did I want?
“To drink,” he clarified, pointing at my coffee. “On the heavy stuff, I see.”
Bex planted the bottle of beer on the bar in front of Moth. “She was getting a little too giddy, so we made a sensible choice.”
“Talking about me, I hear.” He raised his eyebrows at Bex. “I hope she didn't spill her soul.”
My friend put her hands on the bar and raised her eyebrows right back. “She's been hurt, man. I can see your appeal. Bad biker dude who swoops in at the right time. Don't fuck her up.”
My heartbeat galloped as Moth stared at her intently, his gaze dropping as he nodded once. Shit, her warning would scare him away. A few days ago, I'd have wanted him to disappear from my life, but I had to admit, I was catching feelings for my new frenemy.
“He won't.” I cleared my throat. “We'll part ways soon.”
Bex's expression was soft, concerned, which was unlike her. The realisation that I was starting to feel for Moth was frightening. I'd been na?ve, but seeing him, awkward and brooding, reminded me that he couldn't feel emotionally. Whatever had happened to him, in that place with his parents, had messed him up. Even more so after what had happened to Wasp. There was too much shit between us to even consider anything.
Moth glanced at me, his eyebrows lowered slightly. “That's why I came to find you. We need to talk more.”
Swallowing, I turned to smile at Bex. “I'll be fine. Thank you for looking out for me.”
“Always. Don't leave it as long next time.” Saluting me, she slunk to the other end of the bar, leaving us alone.
“You were talking about me to strangers?” Moth turned to me, his knees colliding with mine.
Licking my lips, I winced when my tongue grazed the cut on them. Moth reached out, pulling the bottom lip down to inspect it. “It's not too bad, just superficial.”
“I needed someone to confide in,” I replied to his remark. “And Bex isn't a stranger.”
My gaze drifted to the male who probably knew too much. He was sitting with his wife, but he did keep looking in our direction, raising his eyebrows in question when our gaze met.
Coughing, I ducked my gaze. He was clearly concerned after my confession earlier, which was actually quite nice. Too many men were out for themselves, it felt good to have a stranger care.
“Be careful.” Moth looked over his shoulder to where the male sat. “He probably wants to fuck you.”
Spluttering, I reached for his knee and squeezed it. “Don't be stupid, he's got a beautiful wife.”
“Trust me,” he said, taking a swig of his beer, “that wouldn't stop him. And if he dared to go near you…”
His sentence trailed off and I leaned closer. “What? What would you do? And why do you care?”
“I don't.” His snapped response was accompanied by the shrug of his broad shoulders. “I just don't agree with cheaters, that's all.”
My whole mood deflated, even if I did agree with him. The faster we got our business completed, the better it would be for my emotional health.
“You wanted to talk about Brandon.” I turned towards the bar and drank from the coffee cup, trying to hide my ick when the cool liquid hit my tongue.
Moth placed his hand near mine and drummed his fingers on the wood surface. “The guys have agreed to help, on one condition.”
“What?” I didn't even look in his direction, too scared to see what was in his eyes.
He took a moment to reply, but when he did, the amused tone drew my attention to his face.
“They want to speak to you again.” He sighed heavily. “At our home. I don't know why or what they'll do.”
Why would they want to speak to me? Would I be safe? Or would they take me down, despite Moth's assurance that I would be protected?
“Do they want to kill me?”
He scoffed, only sobering when he looked into my eyes. “Oh wait, you're serious? Your paranoia will get you one day, you need to be careful.”
“Says the bastard who threatened to kill me when I was thirteen.” I resisted the urge to punch him as heat burned my skin. He had been the one to start my spiral, albeit fuelled by my own actions. “And then threatened me once again, fifteen years later. Oh, after my stalker had been tormenting me for two years.”
Checking around, Moth placed a hand on my arm. “Don’t speak too loud, someone might hear us.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “And you say I’m paranoid? We’re similar, you and I,” I said, holding up both forefingers when he went to protest. “Don’t deny it. We’re both fucked up and that’s why we can’t help but fuck one another. You’re right though…” Standing, I swung my jacket on. “…we need to part ways as soon as this is done.”
Storming from the bar, I inhaled the fresh air as soon as I was out the door. No matter where I was with Moth, my emotions became confused and my head unclear.
“What was that about?” he barked, coming through the door behind me. “I thought we were having a discussion about our plan.”
Spinning, I held my arms out to the sides. “Is this how you live? Spending your days planning someone’s demise? Ticking people off a list and then just moving onto the next? I just don’t understand how you can live like that.”
Moth grabbed my upper arms and manoeuvred me into a side alley. I tried to resist, pushing against him. I knew what happened when we got like this, and tonight, I really didn’t want it to escalate to fucking.
“I mean it!” I shoved him off me. “I want to know. If you can give me a reasonable explanation, I’ll leave you alone as soon as we’re done here.”
Huffing, he paced down into the alley and back again. “You drive me insane, did you know that?”
I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him, not prepared to be waylaid this time. The light from a nearby streetlamp illuminated his chiselled jaw, but hid his eyes in the shadows. I didn’t bother to reply to his statement. We both knew where it could lead.
“Fine.” He spat the word as if it tasted like spoiled milk. “You want the truth of why I don’t give a shit about anyone who hurt me? Or anyone who hurts others?”
Coming close, he looked down at me. My spine hit the cold wall behind me, but I kept still, not moving or bending under his intimidation. “Yes, I want to know.”
When he realised that his intimidation wasn’t working, he ran a hand over his hair and huffed. “Not here. Let’s go in your car.”
“Where?” I wasn’t about to be distracted again.
“To the bridge. I think clearer there.”
He was gone, striding out of the alley and across the road, to where my car was parked. I’d braved the bar again, since Brandon wouldn’t think to check for me here. I hadn’t been at the place for a few weeks, and rarely went anyway, so I hadn’t seen too much of a risk. Especially since the cops were meant to have warned him again.
Following Moth across the street, I unlocked the car and jumped in the driver’s side. He climbed in beside me, his leathers creaking when he put his seatbelt on. I stifled a smile when I glanced sideways at the huge man, stuffed into the front seat of my car.
“You’re not used to being in a car, are you?” I asked, starting the engine.
“Wait.” He put a hand on my arm. “You’re too drunk to drive. Let me.”
We swapped places and I huffed, sinking into the passenger’s seat.
He didn’t need directions to the bridge, he knew it too well. It wasn’t that far from the bar, and although it felt like we’d known one another again for years, it hadn’t been that long ago that I’d stopped him from jumping over.
“I prefer the bike,” he muttered, “There’s more room around me.”
The smile could no longer be forced to stay away. My lips stretched as I glanced at him, trying not to laugh. He rolled his eyes and stared straight ahead.
“Don’t get cocky just because we’re in your car.” He rested his hand on his knee. “Or I’ll walk back to my bike after throwing you off the bridge.”
He shifted his bulk, trying to get comfortable. I hadn’t invested in a big car when I’d passed my driving test, there’d been no need. It was just little old me. The truck had been borrowed from my father for the convention, but in general, I drove my little car.
It was my turn to roll my eyes as I checked the side mirror automatically. “Yeah, well…”
My sentence trailed off when headlights appeared behind us. It wasn’t unusual for a car to drive along the road, that’s what the fuck they were for. However, I recognised the dark blue shape of Brandon’s car.
“I think Brandon’s behind us,” I murmured, wringing my hands in my lap.
Wrenching the rear-view mirror, Moth exclaimed. “Yeah, that’s him.”
“Put your foot down!” I said, “He’s dangerous on the road.”
My heartbeat increased as he pressed his foot on the accelerator and almost drove straight into a parked car. Swerving, he swore and I panicked as he narrowly avoided a lamp post.
“Jeez,” I exclaimed, “try not to kill us in the process.”
“I'm better on a motorbike,” he growled, “This thing is a racing cart. You want to take over?”
Holding onto the handle above my window, I glanced in the passenger’s mirror. “He’s gaining on us.”
He squeezed the steering wheel and pressed the accelerator even more. I closed my eyes as we sped out of the street, unable to watch until Moth grunted. Checking the mirror again, I hugged myself as the houses fell away and the trees grew thicker, dark and shadowy in the illumination of my lights.
“What are we going to do?” I squeaked.
“Just keep going.” Moth’s hand landed on my knee. “We’re doing good. We just need to lose him.”
Taking a deep breath, I pursed my lips and decided to trust him. He was an experienced biker, he could navigate some windy roads out of the city.
His boy racer kicked in and he threw the car around a corner, turning left to go into the thicker part of the forest. Brandon was clearly shocked by our sudden change of direction, falling back slightly. As his lights grew weaker, I smiled as we pushed on, trying to get some distance between us.
“I’m turning the lights off.” Moth flicked the switch and the road ahead grew dark.
I screamed as the dark enveloped us and the car veered towards the trees. “What are you doing?”
“I’m finding a gap in the trees.”
“You’re crazy!”
He leaned forward, squinting. “His lights are far away enough not to illuminate the car, but they won’t be for long.”
He turned the car onto the grass verge and I gritted my teeth as we bumped nearer to the trees.
“In there, try to hide it.” I pointed to a gap in the foliage.
Moth drove as far as he could go, just about tucking the vehicle in the gap. As soon as we were stationary, Moth cut the engine and yanked his door open. “Get out.”
“This is suicide!”
Huh, my choice of words was ironic considering we were fairly near the infamous bridge.
Clambering out of the car, I rushed to the bonnet where Moth waited.
“Come on.” Taking my hand, he dragged me through the dense shrubbery, glancing behind him as the whirl of Brandon’s engine grew louder.
There were lots of trees, but Brandon’s lights broke the darkness as he drove past the car. A sigh of relief flew from me as he sped up, disappearing down the road.
“Thank god.” My pace slackened.
Moth looked at me over his shoulder. I could barely see him in the dark or the many hazardous bushes and trees.
“Don’t slow down,” he said, huffing, “He’ll come back.”
“No he won’t.”
“He’s not stupid, Alia. How do you think he’s managed to evade jail so far?” Moth surged forward, dragging me with him.
The forest thickened, the trees coming closer together and the shrubbery hugging up to one another. An engine roared behind us and I jumped, bursting into a faster run. Shit, Moth had been right.
“ALIAAAAA!” Brandon’s shout echoed through the woods.
My whole body shuddered as I gripped Moth’s hand tighter. He pulled me along, eventually putting an arm around my upper waist and propelling me. I puffed and tripped, slowing him down. I wasn’t about to be heroic and tell him to leave me. The bastard needed to keep me safe, he’d promised.
A sob tore from my throat as the adrenaline pumped through my veins. I was so ready to be free of the man who had tormented me for years.
“It’s okay.” Moth was no longer huffing, apparently now in his stride. “We’ll find somewhere to hide.”
My feet were burning and my chest tight. If we didn’t stop soon, I’d have a heart attack and die. And ironically, Brandon would’ve gotten away with killing me.
“Here.” Moth stopped me with a hand on my stomach. “This bush is extremely thick. Let’s climb under.”
A hoot of an owl resounded above our heads. It was either a sign that it would be safe, or a calling to Brandon, letting him know where we were. Either way, I couldn’t run anymore.
“Let’s go.” Indicating the bush he’d pointed to, I pushed Moth.
My eyes had adjusted to the dark and I could just about make out what things were. Although, the scratching and noises of the forest was something I couldn’t think about.
Moth lifted a canopy of foliage and indicated that I crawl under. The sound of thrashing in the distance had me jumping under that bitch. It was surprisingly roomy underneath, with the branches higher up and one or two main stems planted into the ground. I laid flat, trying to keep my face off the dirt under me.
I grunted when Moth crawled in too. Shit, it had been roomy until that big bastard squirmed up right next to me. He muttered under his breath, lying on his side so he could curl his legs into the safety of the bush.
“We're going to die tonight,” I muttered.
“No, we won’t. Stop talking.”
“If he doesn’t kill us,” I hissed, “the bugs will.”
His chuckle was low and he quickly stopped it. “I’m a bug and I swore to protect you. Now, shut the fuck up, woman.”
It was quiet for a moment as I tried to even my breath. Maybe Brandon had given up on his pursuit. It wasn’t smart to chase two people into the dark woods, not when one was built like a tower.
“Aliaaaaa!” His haunting call echoed and I froze.
He wasn’t right by us yet, but it sounded like he was coming in our direction. How had he known which way to come, it was pitch black?
Moth’s fingers slipped into mine and he squeezed. I shook, my limbs literally doing a little dance as the sound of footsteps drew nearer and nearer.
“I know you’re out here somewhere,” Brandon shouted in the opposite direction, “and if I find you, I’ll kill you both. I’ve invested in a gun so your boyfriend can’t get me first this time.”
Brandon laughed manically and I went to yelp. Moth’s hand flew up and covered my mouth. I held his arm for reassurance, pressing his hand further into my face so I couldn’t make a sound.
Footsteps echoed closer and I breathed low and slow, keeping as still as I possibly could. Brandon’s taunting stopped as he listened, his feet crunching the leaves nearby. How the fuck had he followed us to the exact spot we’d hidden? He wasn’t a skilled hunter, I knew that.
The blood rushed in my ears as he passed us, his boots just a few feet away from where we hid under the bushes. All he had to do was point his gun in and shoot. He’d no doubt get one of us.
I jumped at the sound of his boot hitting something.
“Ouch, fuck!” He exclaimed. “Fucking A Hole.”
His footsteps retreated, going back the way they had come. Brandon was either giving up or ready to search in the other direction. Either way, we were stuck here for a moment.
When the sounds of him thrashing through the woods faded, Moth released my face, cupping my cheek briefly.
“We should call the police,” I muttered as low as I could.
“No.” Moth put an arm around me and manoeuvred me so I was on my side and he was spooning me. “We need to go ahead with our plan. This isn’t enough. He’ll disappear as soon as he hears sirens. We just need to wait it out.”
Pressing further back into him to get off the damp leaves, I sighed. “All night? What if something comes to eat me?”
His chest rumbled as he put an arm around me, holding me tight against him. I relaxed, my shivering muscles slowly starting to ease.
“We’ll give it a while, and if there’s no sign of him coming back, we’ll wait outside the bush.” He spluttered, pushing my hair away from what I could only assume was his mouth.
“I can’t believe he came back to the bar,” I said, “I haven’t been there since you rescued me. I assumed he wouldn’t bother with it again.”
Moth’s arm tightened around me, digging into my waist painfully.
“You shouldn’t have gone back there. He’s obviously a psychopath who is following you everywhere.”
“No,” I replied, “Not everywhere. He doesn’t know where I live.”
He snorted and I tried to turn to see his face. It was useless, we were too tightly entwined and trapped within the foliage.
“You don’t think he knows where I live, do you?” I whispered. “He’s never attacked me there.”
“Probably not, then. I would’ve thought that he would’ve been there by now,” he muttered. “Best not to worry about it.”
I went quiet, hugging into myself at the thought of Brandon coming for me at my home. I’d not driven to the places he knew I frequented, until tonight, so the car hadn’t been a giveaway. Tonight had been stupid. I’d forgotten myself… I hadn’t even thought about my actions.
“Why are you shaking so hard?” I asked, suddenly becoming aware of his body.
I'd been shivering myself so I hadn't noticed that he was too. It wasn't like him to show any sign of weakness.
“I'm fighting every nerve in my body not to go after him. I want to beat him so hard, he begs for death.”
“What's stopping you?”
I was curious. He didn't strike me as someone who held back. The physical reaction to his fury was a turn on, I had to admit. I wanted to reach around and touch him, to soothe him.
“You,” he rasped, near my ear. “You wanted to hurt him another way and I want to honour that.”
“You're fighting every nerve in your body... you're literally stopping yourself from killing someone... for me?” I muttered, pressing my butt further into him.
He cleared his throat. “Don't read too much into it. This is your revenge, I'm here to facilitate it.”
“Oh,” I said, “for a moment there, you were getting me hot and flustered with your masculinity.”
“You're literally shivering from the cold,” he retorted, “Ouch.”
I jumped away from him, “What is it? A bug?”
Scuttling out from under the bush, I stayed low and watched Moth crawl after me. My gaze searched around the area, looking for the subject of Moth's pain.
“It was your elbow, Sunshine,” he whispered, putting a finger over my lips. “You moved it back without realising.”
“Oh.” My cheeks grew warm. Luckily, it was too dark for Moth to see my embarrassment. “I'm sorry.”
Hugging myself, I sat with my back towards the bush. Moth joined me, his legs raised and his elbows leaning on his knees. We listened to the woods, our ears straining for any sign of Brandon. The chill of the night seeped into my skin and the hairs on the back of my neck stood tall.
“You're freezing.” He took off his leather jacket. “Lie on my lap.”
I shuffled down so my head rested on his lap. He laid his warm jacket over me and I snuggled into him, trying to catch any heat he could possibly give. It didn't take long as the scent of denim, the leather of his jacket and the smell of fresh masculine sweat, flooded my nostrils. This time, my shudder was more primal.
“We camped out a lot when we lived at the abandoned house,” he muttered, jolting my awareness away from how close I was to his cock right now.
“You did?” I wanted to know more but feared pressing him too much in case he shut down.
Humming an affirmative, he shuffled gently, accidentally nudging my head off his thigh and further into his lap. Shit, if he kept doing that, my mouth would be on his cock. It would just happen naturally.
“When it was warm, we never stayed in the house,” he said, his voice soft for once, “We’d chop logs and make a fire, steal some food and then do a barbeque. We’d then talk about what we wanted to be when we grew up.”
“And what was that? Do you do it now?”
How did I not know what Moth did for work? He’d rescued me, fucked me, tormented me, and I still had no idea who the bug teen had become. For some reason, it suddenly became important. If we went our separate ways, at least I would know something about the guy.
“I just help Fly and Spider now.” He moved again and I bumped on his leg. “They’re musicians, but they can’t show their faces, so I created cartoons of them. They’re getting pretty popular online.”
“Wait,” I muttered, “You’re an animator? Seriously?”
Shrugging, Moth grunted “Yeah, I know. It doesn’t exactly fit the fuck boy persona, does it?”
Smiling to myself, I ducked my gaze. I didn’t want to tell him that he was a geek, but I actually really liked the idea of him being creative.
“So,” I said instead, “you create the music videos?”
“Yeah.” He sat straighter. “But you must never tell anyone. No one can know who we are.”
“Will you sing me one of your songs?”
“Fuck off,” he spat, “I'm not in the band.”
Laughing, I shifted and he went still when my head brushed his crotch. I ignored it, even though it was hard to not think about. Hard. Was he hard? Oh shit, puns were not good right now. Surely, I was mature enough to lie on a man’s lap without thinking about his cock?
“Why do you have to keep your identity a secret?”
Fly had given me a cryptic clue about a deity. The boys’ families must have been in a cult. Had they been forced to actually go and live in the cult? If they had, how had they got away? I hadn’t had time to contemplate what could’ve happened to them there.
Moth was quiet, his breath calm in the silence. I stayed completely still, ready and waiting for his answer.
“Our families were love-bombed by a spiritual cult,” he said, “like most people who end up entwined with narcissists who want adoration.”
“I’ve seen the documentaries.” I rubbed my nose as it started to run from the cold.
Clearing his throat, Moth relaxed slightly. “We all ran away at eleven when our families announced that they were moving to the compound. The elders had already tried to groom us, but we questioned everything. That’s why we left. Our parents were sucked in quickly, desperate for salvation.”
“Ugh. They really do prey on those who are lost and need something to believe and trust in.” I placed a hand on his knee in reassurance.
“Yeah.” He paused before going on. “When you called the cops, they sent us straight back to our families, who had moved into the compound.”
“I’ve heard stories of…” My sentence trailed off and I swallowed, not sure whether I wanted to know the answer to my question.
“Let's just say,” Moth replied, clearly understanding what I was trying to express, “I’ve seen shit I never should’ve seen and I’ve had experiences that pale your own in comparison.”
I nodded, not even daring to argue with him. I had no doubt that he spoke the truth, and although I’d been reckless, sleeping around and getting wasted continuously as a teen, I had managed to control most things. I’d had the freedom to change when the worst almost happened. Moth on the other hand, I didn’t want to imagine what had happened to him… and the others.
“Is that why you don’t let anyone get close?” I murmured, moving my head so I looked up at him.
His eyebrows furrowed and he glared. “I’m too numb from those experiences and I’ll never change. I can’t love anything or anyone. None of us can.”
Pursing my lips, I lowered my eyes until they rested on his crotch, right in front of my face. I didn’t need him to love me… did I? I just needed comfort sometimes, and maybe, that’s what he needed too.
Reaching for the fly on his jeans, I unzipped it. He caught my hand, squeezing my fingers painfully.
“What are you doing, Sunshine? Did you not just hear what I said?”
Licking my lips, I looked up at him. “Yes, I did. I don’t need you to love me. I just need… something. I’m fucking hungry to lose myself in your body, that’s all.”
“I can’t deny that your body is the only thing that has made me feel for a very long time.” His voice was strained.
Digging my hand into his briefs, I clasped his now hardening cock and tugged it so it sat out of his clothes, pointing straight up towards me. See, it wanted to go straight into my mouth.
“Be a good girl,” he muttered, “and suck it.”
His hand came to the back of my head, guiding me down. A surge of heat blasted from my pussy as he pushed me forcefully and my mouth slipped around his now bulging head.
Flicking my tongue over the end of him, I tasted the saltiness of his pre-cum. He stroked my head as I swallowed him, almost gagging when he thrust gently and hit the back of my throat. I prepared my gag reflex as I rose up, flicking my tongue around the rim of his head.
“Very good,” he muttered.
The pressure between my hips intensified with his praise. I didn’t need him to return the favour, sucking him, savouring him, was enough.
My enthusiasm increased and I swallowed him into my mouth again, squeezing his balls before gripping the base of his cock. As my rhythm increased, his thigh muscles tensed. I chanced a glance at him as I grazed my tongue on the crease on the underside of his cock. He had one arm resting on the ground behind him as he watched me. When our gaze met, he closed his eyes and lifted his hips towards me.
Taking that as a sign that he was enjoying it, I worked him harder, my clasped hand moving up and down while my mouth followed, swallowing the length of him. I pressed my tongue firmly on his under crease at the same time, to stimulate the sensitive spot.
He suddenly went still, gripped the back of my hair and held me hard as cum shot straight into my mouth. I gulped it down, smiling around his cock.
His body, which had been stiff from his orgasm, started to relax. I wiped my mouth and put an arm around him, holding him as close as I awkwardly could. I rested my head on his thigh again, happy to be comfortable.
He zipped himself up and then shuffled, knocking me off him as he caught my shoulders. “I think we’re safe now,” he muttered, getting up and helping me into a stand.
My skin went cold as he pulled his T-shirt down and rubbed a hand over his face. “Thank you for that.”
He patted my shoulder and started off, walking in the opposite direction to my car. I stood staring, his jacket still around my shoulders. It did nothing to warm the chill that had reached into my bones. He was right, he was numb. Why was I surprised? I was a stupid woman, who kept the fairy tale of romance, even dark romance, alive in her mind.
And that shit wasn’t real.
Still tasting his cum in my mouth, I started to follow him. He had fucked me hard and fast in the past, but as soon as I’d given him something more intimate, he ran. Almost literally. It was pretty amusing, and yet, my chest ached.
“Where are you going?” I asked, swearing when my foot caught on a branch.
He was beside me, holding my elbow, even though I hadn’t actually fallen.
“Be careful.” He released me. “And quiet. We'll go to the other side of the woods. I’m sure there’s a road there, we can walk to my place.”
I stared at the back of his head as he moved in front of me again. “Are you prepared to carry me? I mean, that seems like a hell of a walk.”
Looking over his shoulder, Moth smirked. “I can carry you if you really want. Anything to get out from these creepy trees.”
“And there I was thinking you’d enjoyed your orgasm.” My flippant remark burst from me and the instant regret landed in my stomach.
He spun to me, pushing me until my back was against the tree. His breath was harsh in my face as he scowled.
“Why do you insist on tormenting me?” He stared into my eyes. “You suck my cock, but you can’t just leave it there. You’ve convinced yourself that I’m a fucking hero in dark clothing. But I’m fucking broken and I can never give you what you want.”
“I..I…” My stuttering warmed my cheeks and I shook my head slowly.
Moth shoved away from me and we walked without talking, the call of the owl, or the scurry of a creature, the only sounds around us.
The glare of a streetlamp through the trees caught my eye. Instead of informing Moth, who no doubt saw it too, I clenched my hands at my sides and prepared to part ways. I wouldn’t be going back to his place, that would be beyond stupid. I had my phone, which would guide me home. His threats of not getting involved were real, really real. I had to get it into my skull.
“There’s the road,” Moth announced, heading straight towards the light.
I murmured without saying anything, following him through the thicket and out onto the concrete surface. There were trees on either side, and actually, this was the road near the bridge, which was not too far ahead.
“Ironic,” I muttered, starting towards it.
Moth’s footsteps were loud behind me. “What's ironic?”
Hugging myself, I kept walking, coming to a stop just before we reached the metal railings that rose up above our heads. I took off his jacket, turned and handed it back to him. He frowned down at it as he held it in his hand.
“This bridge is a fucking metaphor for our relationship.” Fury rose as heat coursed through me and I spun, marching as fast as I could away from him.
“Huh?” he called after me. “What do you mean? And why are you giving the jacket back? It’s cold, you need to put it on.”
I rubbed my arms, cursing the thin material of my cute top. Although, if he carried on, the anger would warm me up perfectly fine.
“Neither one of us are ready to jump off, but we keep getting drawn back to the fucking bridge.” Waving a hand in dismissal at my less than smooth explanation, I kept going, ignoring him until something whacked into my back.
Growling, I turned to face him, glaring down at the jacket that now sat on the ground in front of me.
“Seriously?” I raised my eyebrows. “You just threw your jacket at me?”
“You…” He lurched towards me, his hand clenching into a fist, right in front of my face. “…are so fucking irritating. It’s like you crawl under my skin and scratch it, forcing me to take notice. Even though I’m trying my fucking hardest to protect you from me. I will only hurt you. Please, just understand that.”
The fight in me ebbed as his eyes begged me, pleading for me to let him go. My gaze slipped to the metal railings of the bridge behind him, reminding me of the oath he’d made to his friends, to his brother.
“You don't want to get close to me? Or you can’t?” I indicated the bridge.
He glanced over his shoulder briefly before looking back. His eyes were covered with a wet film and he shook his head to clear it. His jaw tightened and his gaze hardened.
“One day, in the not too distant future,” he said, holding his arms to the side rigidly, “once I’ve finished what I’ve set out to do, I will jump off that bridge.”
I gasped, about to open my mouth and reply. He put a finger over my mouth, silencing me forcefully.
“And nothing that anyone says or does, will stop me from seeing my brother, my twin, again. Not even you.”