Chapter 7 Colson
COLSON
TEN YEARS OLD
Dear Mom,
Tomorrow is the last day of school and my last day in elementary school. Next year, I’ll be a middle schooler, and that’s exciting but Dad signed me up for a summer camp.
He said it will be fun, it’s on a big lake with cabins and kids my age…
it’s for two whole months, so I told him that I don’t want to go.
He got really mad at me…but what if you get better while I’m gone, and come home?
I can’t miss you coming home, Mom, because I know you will soon. You’ll be better and come back to us.
But please tell Dad that I don’t have to, so I can be home for it. – Love, Cole
Dear Cole,
My darling, how wonderful that you’re out of school and about to enjoy a long summer. Cole, I would love to see you this summer and I am truly hoping that I do come home. The doctors are very hopeful, but please, dear, sweet boy…will you go to that camp, for me?
You see, I was never able to go as a child, and I always saw my friends come back with little necklaces made of wood with their names on it.
They’d have pictures and songs they’d sung, camp names that were given to them and lifelong memories made.
I want that for you, Cole, and I want to live vicariously through you.
So, go, choose a name for me, and make me a necklace and then bring it back to me. I love you,
Mom
The early risers were out and about, already having their coffee down at the diner, and even a few braved the cold to walk their dogs.
The sun was out, creating a glitter effect with all the snow, and it felt like we were all holding a collective breath on whether it would actually get warm enough to melt anything.
I bypassed the few people milling about and headed outside of town, needing to hit something and put whatever was happening in my chest to rest. It was a riot of angry thumps and exhausted squeezes ever since I ruined everything and kissed my neighbor.
I tried to push the feel of her out of my head once again and put my truck into four-wheel drive as I drove up the hill leading to Liam’s gym. It was a part of the old lumber yard that was in operation for several years until it was finally sold off.
Liam bought it for a dirt-cheap price, then renovated the hell out of the old building. Located about a mile outside of city limits, the distance provided a small semblance of getting out of the city. As small as the city was, Liam’s was a local favorite.
I was getting ready to head inside when my phone rang.
Drawing my brows together as I inspected the name flashing across the screen, I let out a sigh and reluctantly answered.
“Dad.”
An annoying pause came across the line.
“Colson, I hear that construction company you’ve been working at is going up for sale, and that you might be putting a bid in for purchase.”
Fuck, that meant my brothers had been talking.
We had a group chat that we used to keep each other updated as often as possible, a few days ago I had mentioned the situation with my job.
That, of course, was if Peter still considered me for the job after everything…
considering I’d already fucked up, I was trying not to get my hopes up.
Releasing the grip I had on the wheel, I relaxed into my truck seat.
“Yeah…my boss is retiring.”
Not that he cared in the slightest. He only cared about the opportunity to gain something, so this conversation had an agenda.
“What are the terms?”
I thumped my skull against the headrest. “I’m actually about to hit the gym.”
I don’t want to talk about this with you. I want something that isn’t tainted by you.
Just one fucking thing.
“I won’t keep you, are you coming for a visit soon?”
No.
“Spring, maybe…”
“Christmas would be better, try to be here the day before so your mother can get things situated.”
Pain pierced that same scar tissue that he liked to pull apart every chance he got.
I wet my dry lips and slammed my eyes shut.
“She’s not my mother.”
His silence was familiar, almost soothing.
“Thought we were past this…”
We’d never be fucking past this.
“Gotta go, I’ll talk to you later.” I ended the call before I could talk myself out of it and pushed the overwhelming emotions clogging my heart down. Down, down, down.
Then I headed into the gym, where I could hopefully get my ass kicked by Liam.
“You’re slow today.”
The boxing legend and one of my best friends danced on the balls of his feet as he watched me with a calculated expression.
Thrusting my glove out, I hit air as he moved around me.
“Really slow.”
His taunts usually worked, since I didn’t want to be slow, especially with a ton of guys watching us spar, but today, my mind wasn’t in the ring.
His daughters were on the sidelines too, his youngest, Mila had her eyes fixated on my feet.
“Daddy, he’s growing roots!” she yelled toward me, and the room erupted in laughter.
Trying not to let her rather effective comment bother me, I taunted. “Shouldn’t she have a babysitter by now, or be in school?”
Liam’s jaw clenched, and then a solid punch landed to my side.
Fuck, it didn’t pay to rattle him the way he did me.
“Another one quit, I take it?”
“Fuck you, Hanes, why are you so fucking sluggish today?”
Because I fucked up. Likely ruined my chance…the one and only fucking chance to own something of my own without it being tainted by my father.
“Colson, TIMBERRRRR!” Mila cupped her mouth, shouting as loud as she could and in the second I spent looking over at her, my friend landed a hit to my face.
The next thing I knew he was standing over me, with a wince twisting his features.
Mila ran over, and her sisters wouldn’t be far behind if she was already on the mat.
“I tried to warn him.” Mila said, propping her tiny hands on her knees.
Another face popped into view, dark hair like their father, and sharp blue eyes. “He’s better than this…must be distracted.” Seraphina, or Seraph as I called her, muttered, narrowing her eyes in a way too calculated for her seven-year-old self.
Maddy, the oldest would be next.
I rolled over, groaning as another shrill voice spoke up. “Ewww, is that blood?”
Liam’s eldest didn’t like the sight of blood.
I honestly felt for them because this gym was how their dad kept a roof over their heads, but he was doing it completely alone. He couldn’t seem to keep a babysitter around and couldn’t afford one of those fancy live in nannies…so the girls came here every waking hour the gym was open.
“Come on …let’s go.” Liam slapped my back, and I heard a few claps and laughs as I made my way out of the ring.
Tearing my gear off, I watched as Mila perched on a stool to my left.
“Daddy says you can get hurt if you’re distracted.”
This kid was like five and sounded like a better therapist than the one my father assigned to me from the age of thirteen.
“I’m not distracted.”
She was a tiny thing, wearing a shirt too big for her, with hair tangled and wild.
“You never get hit like that, so I think you are. Is it about a womaaan?” She drew the word woman out and batted her eyes like the cute little fucker she was.
I laughed and suddenly her sisters were next to her.
“Did he talk about her yet?” Maddy asked, and Seraph giggled into her hand.
I shook my head and poured half my water bottle over my face.
“Talk about who?” Liam added, making his way over to where we were sitting.
“The girl who distracted him,” Maddy said, waving her hand toward me.
Seraph added “duh” for good measure.
“There is no woman.” I stood and started toward my bag, but the words tasted like a lie. Nora was on my mind and refused to be kept at bay.
Liam laughed, shaking his head. “You heard him, girls, leave him be.”
“So you need a place for the girls to go today, or what?” I quietly asked my friend while his kids busied themselves with something on Maddy’s phone.
Liam ran a hand over his head, letting out a long sigh.
“Yeah, they apparently don’t have school today…something about a teacher work day. Why, you offering to let them hang out with you?”
I’d known Liam for a year, and been around his kids as long, it wouldn’t be the first time they watched Netflix at my house or helped me sort my tools. Besides, hanging out with them was usually entertaining.
“I don’t have much going on today. I’m between projects…” and I needed to take it easy since I wasn’t fully recovered from dealing with Nora’s tree.
Someone yelled for Liam’s help, and he held up his finger, indicating he needed a second.
“Are you sure? It would only be for a few hours.”
Waving him off, I grabbed my bag. “I’m sure. I need help decorating anyway, I’m sure they’d love that.”
Maddy must have overheard us because she whisper-yelled to her sisters about going to my house.
“I owe you, man.” Liam slapped my back and leveled me with a serious look.
The thing about community and being friends with someone who often needed an extra hand meant you built up your own strength while lending it. For me, it always benefited me to give back, always made me feel brighter inside somehow.
“Okay girls, let’s go.”
“Mila, please just choose something already.” I stood with my arms crossed in the middle of the aisle, while Maddy and Seraph browsed through the things we’d already put inside the cart. Mila, however, couldn’t decide on which frosting color she wanted for her Christmas cookies.
“If I do pink sprinkles, then I can’t have this red and green frosting combination,” she said, holding two little plastic containers.
Maddy let out an exasperated sigh. “Don’t do pink sprinkles, then.”
This was the argument we’d been having for ten minutes, and I was over it.
Grabbing all the colors of frosting and sprinkles, I dropped them into the cart and pushed it down the aisle.
“There, now we’ll have options.”
“Can we get Lunchables?” Seraph begged, bringing her hands together.
I didn’t even know what those were, but I agreed and before I knew it, the girls had piled at least six different yellow boxes into the cart.