Chapter 13 #2
“Assuming it was one of them,” Angel points out. “It could have been random. Just someone targeting houses that looked like they didn’t have much security. You said that happens.”
It does happen. But the problem is; nothing in Angel’s house was stolen.
Nothing was vandalized. Aside from the slight damage to the deadbolt from sloppy lock picking, you’d never know anyone had broken in.
Of course it’s possible Max and I scared off the would-be burglar before he could steal anything.
But the way it’s looking now, I’d put money on Angel or Haley being the target.
My teeth clench painfully at the thought.
Anger surges through me.
No one is touching them, I silently vow. Not Angel. Not Haley. They’ll have to go through me first.
Belatedly realizing that Angel is still waiting for me to respond, I say, “It’s possible. I’m sure in another couple of days, we’ll have more information.”
Angel stares at the counter again. “I’m not sure what to do about Haley’s school. If she doesn’t go, I’ll have to come up with a reason. But if I send her…”
“If you want to send her, we’ll set up security.
” As her surprised gaze jumps to mine, I explain, “A couple of us can be stationed outside the school. Alec can access the exterior cameras for an extra set of eyes. I can drive Haley there and back. If you want her to go to school, we’ll make it happen. ”
“But.” Her hands twist together. “That’s a lot of work. A lot of time. I’m sure you all have other things to do. For GMG and your other jobs.”
“I don’t have other things to do,” I reply. “I’m taking time off at the mountain. I already told my boss about it. And this is GMG business. Protecting you and Haley, I mean.”
“But.” Angel frowns. “I can’t pay—”
“We wouldn’t take money from you.”
“But—”
“Most of our cases are pro bono. I’m sure Hazel told you that. And even if they weren’t, we wouldn’t charge you.”
Angel cocks her head. “Why?”
“Because you’re a friend. Because we care about you. Because—” I puff out my breath. “Because I care about you, Angel. You and Haley. And I would do anything to keep you safe.”
She stares at me for a long moment as thoughts work in her eyes. “I don’t understand.”
“Why I’d want to protect you?”
“Why you pushed me away if you supposedly care about me. Why you lied to me.”
Nothing she said is wrong. But it hurts to hear it.
“I’m not sure if now’s the right time,” I say. “With everything that happened. And you’re tired…”
And I’m scared.
I’m scared the truth won’t be enough for her to forgive me.
I’m scared she’ll hear my story and realize Gwen was right about me.
And shit. I don’t want to talk about it. Five years on, and I still haven’t. A few of my teammates from back then know, but only because they were there. But we’ve never talked about it since.
“I don’t think I’ll sleep tonight,” she admits. “I keep thinking about all of it. The break-in. The drugs. And…” Her gaze dips. “I keep wondering if I was wrong about us. Or… if I did something wrong.”
Shit.
Standing, I hold out my hand to her. “Let’s go in the bedroom. For privacy,” I amend. “This isn’t something I want Haley to overhear.”
Angel hesitates. Then she stands and takes my hand. “Okay.”
I lead her into my bedroom, closing the door most of the way shut after us. Then I head over to the bed and wait for her to sit down. Once she does, I take a seat a few feet away from her.
The space between us feels wrong.
I wish I could go back to only days before, when distance was the last thing we wanted.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt. “I know I said it before. But I really am. I acted like a jerk the other night.”
“And you lied,” Angel points out. “You said you weren’t feeling well. But that wasn’t true. You went to Max’s instead.” Her cheeks go ruddy. “Hazel told me. While we were texting. She didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret.”
“It wasn’t a secret. And it wasn’t like that. Max texted looking for company, I was feeling shitty about what happened, and I just thought it might help, getting out of the house for a bit.”
Angel’s eyebrows arch up. “You lied, though.”
On a heavy sigh, I admit, “I did. I thought I needed some time to myself. Time to get things straight in my head. I didn’t plan on going anywhere.
I just… Shit. I’m sorry, Angel. I’m so pissed at myself.
If I’d just been honest with you, I would have been there. At your house. I could have stopped—”
“That’s not why I’m upset,” she interrupts. “I just don’t understand. What happened?”
And there it is. The truth that leads to all the rest.
“I saw you and Garrett,” I confess. “He hugged you. Touched you.”
Angel stiffens. “I’ve known him for years. Ever since Haley and Tess were in kindergarten. We’re friends. But that doesn’t mean—”
“I know that. Now. But before… I got jealous. It wasn’t your fault. It was mine.”
Hurt washes across her face. “You thought I would cheat on you?” A beat passes. “Unless that was all in my head? And we weren’t really dating?”
“We were. We are—” I stop. “I was wrong. About you and Garrett. About how I acted after. I feel so fucking guilty. I should have been there for you. I should have protected you.”
“So you thought I was interested in Garrett?”
I take a deep breath. As I exhale, I turn so I’m facing her. “For a little while, I did. And I want to explain. Not that I think it’s an excuse, but I want you to understand.”
“Okay?”
My gut clenches.
A sour taste comes to my mouth.
I don’t want to talk about it. But if I want any chance of keeping Angel, I have to.
“Six years ago, I met Gwen,” I start, deciding to cut straight to the meat of it.
“I was still active duty, based out of Fort Liberty, in North Carolina. We met at a bar off base and started dating not long after. I didn’t do serious relationships back then, mainly because of the demands of my job.
But I liked her. So I thought I’d give it a try. ”
Angel nods for me to continue.
“When I was overseas, I didn’t always know when I’d be back. It was a lot to ask someone to deal with. But Gwen didn’t seem to mind. She said as long as I was fully present when I was around, that’s what she cared about.”
Angel edges a few inches closer to me. “I’m guessing there’s a but?”
I nod. “Yeah. Not at first, though. For the first six months, things were fine. I don’t know if I loved her, but I cared about her. I wanted things to work out. And then… she got pregnant.”
Angel sucks in a breath.
“We were careful,” I explain. “But things happen.”
“They do,” she agrees quietly. “What happened next?”
“I asked her to marry me. I wanted her on my insurance, to start. And I thought it would be better for the baby. More stable. Plus, like I said, I cared about her. It just seemed like the best decision.”
“Did you? Marry her?”
“I did. As soon as I could. I wanted her and the baby to be protected in case something happened to me.”
Pain stabs into my chest at the memory of the next part.
“I tried my best to support her. Anything she wanted, I got it for her. A new, safer car. A better apartment. Clothes. Spa days. Holistic therapies. Trips so she could visit her friends and family. I didn’t begrudge her any of it.
She was my wife. The mother of my child.
Of course I’d do whatever I could for her. ”
“What happened?”
“I decided to leave the Army so I could be around more for her and the baby. So I filed all the separation documents. My discharge would be right after the baby was born. I hated leaving my team, but I had to.”
Angel edges even closer to me. “I can understand that.”
“But.” My gaze dips to my lap. A weight settles heavy over my shoulders.
“The baby was due in a month. I’d just gotten back from a mission, and I was going to take family leave so I could be there for the delivery.
The baby—a boy, I saw the ultrasounds, heard the heartbeat, I was going to name him after my grandfather—” My voice catches.
Swallowing hard, I continue, “I came back to the apartment earlier than planned. Gwen was there with her friend. I heard them when I came inside. Talking. The friend was asking Gwen if she’d ever tell me the truth.”
“The truth?” Angel’s eyes go wide. “About?”
“The truth about the baby.” My gaze lifts to meet hers. “They were talking about how Gwen had tricked me. How the baby wasn’t actually mine.”
“What?”
“I didn’t want to believe it,” I say. “But I heard her. Gwen. Talking about how the actual father was some musician she’d met. A one-night stand, she said. Sexy as anything, but didn’t have a pot to piss in. So she thought… I’d be a good alternative.”
“Ronan.”
“I confronted her. I had to.”
Angel touches my hand. “Of course you did.”
“At first, she tried to lie about it. But when I pushed, she admitted the truth. It wasn’t my baby. She’d gotten pregnant while I was overseas, and once she realized, she thought it would be better to say it was mine.”
“Better?”
“For her. Financially. She worked in retail, so she didn’t make much money. Between the musician and me, apparently I was the more practical choice. I gave her everything. I never questioned it.”
“But.” Angel frowns. “How could she?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know.” My jaw clenches. “She said it was my fault.”
“What?”
“I worked too much. I wasn’t romantic enough. I didn’t take her to the places she wanted to go. My job was too dangerous. I spent too much time with my friends. She didn’t like how women looked at me when we were out together.”
“Ronan. I can’t imagine any of those things were true.”
“I don’t know. Maybe they were. But after all of that… I couldn’t stay with her. So I said I was filing for divorce.” I release a heavy sigh. “But the baby. Nate. At least, that’s what I wanted to name him. I still hoped… maybe he was mine. Maybe she was wrong about the dates. I…”
My throat goes thick. “I wanted him. I wanted to be a dad. So I insisted on a paternity test. She owed me that, at least. But she was right. He wasn’t mine.”
“Oh, Ronan.” Angel rests her hand on my thigh. Tears shine in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not telling you so you feel sorry for me. Or as an excuse. It’s just… that’s why I haven’t dated since. It’s why I moved across the country. So I could get away from all of it. And when I saw you and Garrett, and Tess and Haley… my imagination went crazy.”
“You thought I picked him over you.”
“I did. For a little while.” Shame sweeps through me. “I’m sorry. That’s not the man I want to be. Not for you or Haley.”
“Ronan.” She scoots over so she’s right next to me. “I can’t even imagine how that must have been.”
“It’s not an excuse,” I insist. “You’ve been through shit and you didn’t take it out on me.”
“No.” Angel looks down at her hand, small and delicate on my leg. “But that’s not to say I never could. I’m not perfect. Things trigger me, too.”
“Like lying? Not telling you about my past?”
Her gaze meets mine. “Lying isn’t okay. But…”
“I swear, I won’t do it again.” I take her hand. “I fucked up, Angel. And I don’t expect you to forgive me just like that. But maybe you could give me a chance?”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you want a chance? With me?”
My heart jumps.
Telling her how I really feel leaves me vulnerable. It gives her even more power to hurt me. For years, I’ve kept things to myself. I’ve been single Ronan who doesn’t care about relationships and commitment.
But I do.
Deep down, I do.
Which is why I rip my chest open and bare my heart to her.
“Because I care about you. A lot. I know it’s still early, and with Haley involved, you need to take things slow. That’s okay. I’ll go as slow as you want. But I want a chance to prove myself. To prove I’m more than what Gwen said—”
“Ronan.” Her voice sharpens. “You are not any of the things that stupid woman said. You’re a good man who made a mistake.”
“I won’t—” I stop. “Okay. I will make mistakes again. But I’ll be honest about them. I’ll talk to you if I’m worried about something. I won’t shut you out.”
Angel regards me for a moment before nodding. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay.” She leans closer. “I’ll give you another chance.”
“You will?”
“I will.” Her lips brush lightly across mine. “We all make mistakes, Ronan. It’s how we handle them that’s the important part.”
My hand comes to her cheek. Her skin is soft. Satiny. I trace my thumb along the delicate line of her cheekbone. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
“I know.” Her expression softens. “I care about you, too. A lot. And even when I was mad at you, I still hoped…”
“Hoped what?”
“That we could work things out.”
“We will.” Hoping it’s not too soon, I cover her lips with mine. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”
Angel stares at me for a moment before replying, “Just be honest with me.” Then she strokes my jaw. “I’m sorry, Ronan. For what happened to you. I’m just… really sorry.”
I hug her to me as hope sparks anew. “It’s okay. I’m just happy to be here with you.”
She regards me for a moment before climbing onto my lap and hugging me back. “Despite everything else,” she says close to my ear, “I’m happy to be here with you, too.”