Chapter 20
ANGEL
It’s incredible the difference a day makes.
From discovering that Haley was missing, feeling the worst terror of my life; to the blissful contentment of a Christmas well-spent with the people I love.
Snuggling closer to Ronan, I rest my head on his shoulder and breathe in his familiar scent. Soap, but with a hint of pine from spending so much time near it. I nuzzle the sensitive skin of his neck, loving how soft and warm it is.
His arm curls around me, and his lips brush the top of my head.
We don’t talk. We don’t need to. And after the excitement of today, I’ll admit I’m glad for a bit of quiet.
Not that I’m complaining about how busy the day was.
Or noisy. That’s what Christmas is about, especially when you have a kid.
It starts first thing in the morning, often before the sun even rises.
There’s the rush to the tree. The excited chatter over the presents.
There’s the bustle in the kitchen while I make my special holiday pancakes—red and green M his little tell whenever he’s trying not to laugh at something Haley says. “Well. I do think they’re good the way your mom made them.”
“Oh, they are good,” Haley was quick to add. “Really good.” Then she stuffed her last bite into her mouth before announcing, “I’m done. Can we open presents now?”
I might still be slightly traumatized from last night, but Haley seems to have shaken it off admirably. By the time we got back to the school, she was more worried about the understudy taking over her role than the reason for her disappearance.
Miss Webber didn’t give the part to Haley’s understudy, of course. And everyone waited until Haley fixed her makeup, so the show could go on.
Well, Justin left before that. Which I actually feel a little bad about.
I know he doesn’t deserve my pity. Hazel said it.
So did Ronan. So did everyone else on Ronan’s team, plus Lark, Winter, and Rory.
Even Wendy, who’s the most forgiving person I think I’ve ever met, told me firmly, “Don’t you feel bad about that boy leaving, Angel.
He made his own bed. Now he has to lie in it. ”
But how must Justin have felt, knowing that his daughter would rather run away than be with him? No matter who you are, that has to hurt.
It doesn’t mean I’m going to just let him walk into Haley’s life. No way. That’s going to be a process that I’m not entirely sure how to deal with yet. But whatever I choose to do, I’ll be the one in control. And Haley’s feelings will always be my priority, not Justin’s.
But once Justin was gone and the play got going, the night quickly shifted back to the way it was supposed to be.
After the performance was over, we headed over to Max’s for the snowmobile sleigh ride; a tradition he’s kept up ever since his parents started it.
Then we came back here to enjoy our own Christmas Eve tradition of homemade pizza and ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.
We all opened one small present—even Murphy—and Haley crashed out earlier than usual, which gave me extra time to set out all the presents.
Except it wasn’t just me this year. Ronan helped. And it was so nice, arranging the presents around the tree and taking little breaks to exchange kisses. I didn’t even worry that Haley might come out and see us kissing.
She knows we’re dating, after all. She knows he’s my boyfriend. She’s seen people kiss in movies and on TV. Oh, and she told me it was okay to have Ronan sleep in my bedroom since he was staying over for Christmas.
“Since Murphy will sleep with me,” she explained, “you and Ronan should sleep together, too. So you don’t get lonely.”
“What are you smiling about?” Ronan asks. He brushes my hair behind my ear and lets his fingers trail down my neck. “Thinking about today?”
“Yesterday, actually,” I reply.
His forehead creases. “Yesterday?”
I know he’s thinking about when Haley disappeared. “Not that part,” I explain. “But the other parts of the day. The good ones.”
“Ah.” He glances at the tree before looking back at me. “There were definitely some good parts of the day, too.”
Turning slightly, I drape my legs over his. “Did I tell you what Haley said to me yesterday morning?”
He thinks. “I’m not sure. She said a lot yesterday.”
I laugh. “True. But this was before you came over. We were talking about how you were going to be here for Christmas Eve and stay two nights. And the trip to your parents.”
“And?” Worry flickers in his gaze. “If she’s not okay with it… Should I go home? And if you’d rather not go to meet my parents yet—”
“That’s not it.” Leaning over, I press my lips to his. “She’s loved having you here. And it’s not like it was a new thing to her; all of us spending the night together. We did at your house, and then after I hurt my arm—”
At the angry tense of Ronan’s jaw, I quickly change the subject.
He gets upset whenever the topic of me getting hurt comes up—not that I can blame him; I’m not too thrilled about it, either—and I’d rather not have it taint the end of an amazing day.
“Anyway. She was really excited about doing Christmas together. And she can’t wait to go to Maine.
” With a smile, I add, “It doesn’t hurt that your parents have two Golden Retrievers. ”
Ronan makes a mock look of offense. “And what about poor Murph? Is he getting tossed to the side?”
“Of course not.” I gently elbow him. “Haley loves Murphy. I’m not sure you’ll ever get him back.”
“I don’t mind sharing,” he replies. “If it makes Haley happy…”
And that’s one of the things I love about him, among many. Ronan doesn’t just care about me. He cares about Haley. If I’d ever wondered just how much, I saw it for myself last night. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look in his eyes when Haley said she wanted him to be her real dad.
There wasn’t fear or trepidation. There was longing. And love.
It’s still a big decision, and not one we need to make yet. I think Ronan and I need more time together, now that all the craziness that Sharon brought is—hopefully—in the past.
But could I see marrying Ronan? Having him be Haley’s dad?
Do I hope both of those things happen?
Yes. To all three.
“Well, she’s very happy,” I tell him. “Trust me. Having you here made the day even more special.”
“Do you think Haley liked her presents? I wasn’t sure…”
“Liked them? She adored them.” Ronan gave Haley a pair of bright blue ski goggles with ski gloves and a hat to match.
And because she’s still a little girl who loves her stuffed animals, he also gifted her a cute stuffed bear dressed in ski gear.
“She didn’t even leave the presents under the tree, like she usually does.
She wanted to have them in her room, since they were special presents from you. ”
“Oh.” His smile brightens. “Good.” Then he adds, “I was thinking, maybe at the end of the season, I could see about getting her some skis from the shop. Sometimes they’ll sell some of the rentals, so they’re a lot cheaper than new.”
“That could work.”
“And what about you?” he asks. “Did you like your presents?”
“Ronan. That’s a silly question. Of course I did. The art classes, and all the supplies… It was too much. But I love them.”
“Nothing is too much, cupcake.” Ronan’s gaze goes soft. “Not for you.”
“Did you like your presents?” I ask, suddenly feeling anxious about it. I didn’t have the money to buy a lot, so I had to get creative. And with one arm out of commission, that made things even trickier.
He chuckles. “Talk about a silly question.” Then his expression sobers. “I loved them. In fact, I think they were the nicest gifts I’ve ever gotten.”
“The nicest?” I tease. “In your entire life? That seems hard to believe.”
“They really are,” he insists. “The scarf Haley made me… I didn’t even know she could knit.”
“It was something my mom used to do. Haley was too young to do it herself at the time. But when she got a little older, she asked to learn. So she could make scarves like Gran used to.”
As I think about my mom, my throat goes thick.
She would have loved Ronan. And she would have been so happy for me.
Because, for as many times as my mom reassured me that I was doing a perfectly good job raising Haley on my own, I knew she wanted me to find the same love and support she had with my dad.
I think I did, I tell her silently. And I think you’d approve.
“You miss her,” Ronan says. It’s not a question, but a statement. Sympathy softens his gaze. “Christmas must be hard.”
“I do. But I like to think she’s watching us. That she’s here. And…” I kiss Ronan’s cheek. “Having you here makes it better.”
“Angel.” He frames my face with his hands and kisses me gently.
“Being with you makes everything better.” Then he kisses me again.
“And I have to say, the drawing you gave me? It’s amazing.
Seeing your artwork before, I knew you were talented.
But the way you captured Murphy… It’s magical.
I can’t think of a better way to describe it. ”
Pride fills my chest. For years, my artwork has only been for me and Haley. So hearing that someone else likes it, someone as important as Ronan, makes me feel all warm inside. “I’m so glad you liked it,” I say.
“I love it,” Ronan emphasizes. “Not liked. Love.”
“I was thinking,” I start, “maybe I could do one of you and your friends. So you could have something to put on the wall in the GMG headquarters. Unless you think that would be silly—”
“Silly?” His brows jump up. “It wouldn’t be silly at all. Everyone would love that.”