Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
ASTRID
“What are you doing? You don’t have to help.
Your injury--” Chase grabbed the box I was carrying, lifted it onto his shoulder as if it only contained pillows and weighed little.
It was, in fact, full of my favorite hardcover books I couldn’t bear to part with.
But I saw the gritted teeth and his change in posture as he compensated for his injury.
Giving up wasn’t easy for me, but I remembered well how stubborn he was and stopped protesting.
“There’s a big difference between have to and want to.
And this is something I can do and want to do.
For you.” Chase’s chin lifted and his eyes blazed in challenge.
He’d gotten closer than I realized. Too damn close.
His aftershave or body wash or whatever scent he wore tickled my senses even as it set off warning bells.
Male musk wafted after him, along with hints of my favorite candle scent, filling the space between us.
I inhaled notes of amber and cedar as he climbed the three steps onto my front porch.
I watched him closely as he took his time in deference to the muscle damage he’d sustained, navigating the porch steps slowly.
Of course, my gaze hadn’t latched onto his firm ass for anything other than professional reasons.
I cleared my throat as I quickly scanned to see if anyone was paying attention to me, realizing I’d stood frozen in place staring like a foolish schoolgirl, eyes glued to Chase’s backside.
And if anyone dared challenge me on it, I’d deny it with my last breath.
But damn, he’d filled out rather well since the last time I saw him. Back then he’d been in good shape, all lean muscle, a teenage heartthrob that had all the girls in our class dropping pencils just so they could bend over in front of him.
Something I’d never done, and yet he still chose me. Our friendship became so much more than that last week of school. I should have been more cautious. Guys like him had never shown an interest in me, let alone confessed a secret longing.
Releasing a long sigh as he disappeared through my front door, I knew I had to get over our past, to stop wishing I’d made a different choice back then.
Because, according to Chassie, his plan was to stay in Pineville.
And the more mature version, the rough-around-the-edges, more dangerous side of him that was damn sexy, was ten times more tempting than eighteen-year-old Chase.
Broad-shouldered with sinewy forearms and biceps that I just knew weren’t sculpted in a gym but from duty were my personal kryptonite.
Even his tattoos that peeked out from his t-shirt sleeve intrigued me.
The need to find out the story behind each one, to discover what made him choose that life over his family, over me, had resurfaced with a vengeance.
But I was going to be smarter this time.
I would not let the insane chemistry between us win.
So, I threw back my shoulders, marched up my steps and started up where I’d left off as if I hadn’t just ogled his hot bod like a horny and desperate housewife.
“Okay. I get it. I do. I may not be treating you in an official capacity, but pushing your capabilities to prove you--” Oops, just broke my promise not to lecture him.
“This has nothing to do with my injury or my physical capabilities or proving something. This is one friend assisting another. Deal with it.”
Wow. Guess I poked the bear. “Huh, are we friends? I mean, it’s been a damn long time and I’m not sure I want to deal with it.” Yeah, maybe I was being snotty, but what did he expect? That I’d just welcome him back into my life and pretend nothing had happened?
“You trying to scare me off, Astrid? Because it’s not going to work.
I’ll make things crystal clear. I knew you worked in that clinic.
And I’m going to do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness.
To get you back into my life. I’m all in.
And…” He stepped closer, brushed a few strands of hair away from my face, and lowered his voice for my ears only,“…and when I get my hands back on all those beautiful curves of yours…well, you just might be happy to see me again. So fair warning.”
I let out a snort at his declaration, but when he’d come closer, I’d unconsciously leaned into him and now I felt the evidence of his body’s response to me pressed against my hip.
His enormous erection undeniable, I swallowed, then opened my mouth to deny I wanted exactly what he described, even if it was a lie.
Josh called out my name, and then, as if we were in some rom-com, we jumped apart.
Ragged breaths filled the room. My son may not notice the state both Chase and I were in, especially since I’d been careful not to bring the men I’d dated around him.
And now was most definitely not the time to deal with any of my son’s rightful concerns.
Chase walked to the window so his back would be to the door.
I thanked him silently for sparing us both any awkward questions.
But it was thrilling knowing how much he wanted me.
Twenty years older and over twenty pounds heavier, the boy of my dreams still wanted me.
And seeing the man he’d become, hearing the desire in his voice, made me rethink the part I played back then by not trying to go after him.
“Hey, Mom, can I go now? I brought in all my boxes, and Dad just texted me. He’s almost to the driveway.
” Josh jogged into the room, his messy hair bouncing across his eyes.
When did my little boy suddenly care about his hairstyle, and was I going to complain about it now?
No, I’ve learned over the past year to pick my battles.
The hormones and caring about what his peers, and god help me, girls, thought of him were taking over my soon-to-be teenager.
And speaking of hormones, mine weren’t behaving much right now. But Josh’s appearance was just what was needed. Chase and I had more talking to do before, well, before anything happened between us. I pulled my shirt away from my body in order to get some cooler air, then shot another look at Chase.
“Hey, back. Sure. But first, I want you to meet someone. Someone I went to school with. He’s just moved back. And he’s Kane’s older brother.” Josh’s gaze narrowed as he spotted Chase standing in front of the window, just now noticing I wasn’t alone.
There was a slight shift in my son’s stance as he appeared to be judging the adult male in my bedroom. Yeah, it was empty of furniture, plus there were a lot of people in the house, but not one of them had entered this room yet, so this could get awkward fast.
“Uh, hey,” Josh nodded his chin. One more sign that he was no longer my little boy.
Chase, now facing us, walked over, a smile on his face and his hand outstretched. “Hello, Josh. Nice to meet you.” That was it. Chase didn’t try to act cool with him or say something that would make my son uncomfortable. I liked that. A lot.
Josh took his hand and asked, “Kane was a Ranger. You in the military too?” Sighing inwardly, I knew my son had a fascination with soldiers, anything to do with the military, really, like the video games I tried to limit.
This was mostly because of his Uncle Baz, but also by spending so much time at the Triple R, surrounded by the retired Rangers.
Not a bad thing, but I was having issues with how fast he was maturing.
“I was. But I didn’t serve with Kane or anyone else you know. I mainly did security work. Overseas. I’ve lived in a lot of places since I joined…after graduation.” After that, you could have heard a pin drop. Josh’s excitement forgotten, our gazes clashed as I worked out what Chase just revealed.
“That sounds cool. So, you didn’t go to battles and stuff? Were you like one of those guards who watch live video feeds, making sure bad things don’t happen?”
My eyes were still locked on Chase’s face.
There was the barest flicker of something sad in his expression before he blinked, then answered.
“Yeah, something like that. But now, I’m looking for a new challenge.
And I’m really glad to be back in Pineville.
I grew up in town and I’ve realized how much I’ve missed this place, my family, and the friends who stayed. ”
Josh’s smile disappeared, replaced with a questioning look as his gaze bounced between me and Chase. I could see my son trying to figure out what Chase meant, but I got it. And I needed the details he’d left out. But now was not the time.
“Uh, sure. Um, nice to meet you.” Josh’s smile returned. “Can I go, Mom?”
“What? Oh, yeah. I’ll see you Sunday night. By dinnertime, okay?” With a quick hug and a goodbye, he took off, and I was alone again in my bedroom with Chase.
His gaze hadn’t wavered from me since Josh left.
“Did you want to get into this now, or wait till everything’s moved, split a bottle of wine and…
.” Since I walked into that procedure room, I hadn’t seen Chase so unsure of himself.
Not sure if I should take that as a sign that maybe I didn’t want to know the reason, or reasons, he’d taken off, leaving me heartbroken.
I wished I could postpone the truth, but that felt too much like what I’d done in my marriage.
“Alright. Finish moving, then wine and …revisiting the past.” Turning on my heel, I didn’t get far.
Chase reached out, snagged my wrist, and gently tugged me up against him.
“I promise what I have to tell you isn’t something I’m proud of, but it’s also not something that we, hopefully, can’t overcome, and--”
“There you are. Baz and Ridge are getting antsy and want to know when the pizza’s showing up.
Could you show them where you want a few things in the family room?
” Addy and then Zoe walked into the room, both sporting big grins on their not so innocent looking faces.
“Hi, I’m Zoe, and this is Addison, or Addy. You must be Chase.”
Luckily, I was the only one in the room who heard Chase mumble, “Fuck.” But he quickly recovered and nodded at my friends. “Yes, and I’ll go see if I can help.”
The three of us watched him walk out, all with varying expressions. Mentally preparing myself for their feedback, I crossed my arms. “Okay, don’t hold back. Let it out so we can finish before that rainstorm gets here.”
“He was your first? Oh, my, if he’d been mine, I would have hired a PI or gotten a bloodhound to track him down. Damn, he’s hot,” Zoe dramatically fanned herself.
Addy just rolled her eyes, but nodded in agreement.
Of course, Zoe was teasing me on both fronts.
I knew she hadn’t said that to make me feel bad, and besides, Zoe and Addy’s husbands were just as…
oh, no, don’t go there, Astrid. I had to give myself a full body shake to rid myself of all thoughts that my big brother was remotely considered hot.
Dang it, Chase had scrambled my brain or something. I led my friends out of the room as I played out the conversation with Chase in my head, hoping what he had to say to me later turned out to be something I could forgive him for.
During the next few hours, I was no longer sure that I could withstand any more banter with him or his heated and promise-filled looks and not want to jump him after everyone left.